1
00:00:36,767 --> 00:00:42,797
(RADl0) Currently 86, feels like 110
in Conch FM's Sunday jazz brunch.

2
00:00:42,967 --> 00:00:46,357
(MELLOW JAZZ MUSIC)

3
00:00:52,007 --> 00:00:54,567
I'm back on the Hemingway trail again.

4
00:00:54,727 --> 00:01:00,120
The great American writer only spent
about ten years of his working life in America.

5
00:01:00,287 --> 00:01:05,122
Most of those were spent at Key West,
the southernmost city in the USA.

6
00:01:05,287 --> 00:01:08,757
When Hemingway first discovered
Key West in 1928,

7
00:01:08,927 --> 00:01:13,796
it was so run-down and laid back,
he called it "the St Tropez of the poor".

8
00:01:13,967 --> 00:01:18,836
Seven years later they built this road
which connects the Keys with the rest of the US

9
00:01:19,007 --> 00:01:24,639
and it brought the crowds and the attention
he was so anxious to avoid.

10
00:01:35,367 --> 00:01:39,155
Hemingway hit Key West
about the time the Depression hit America.

11
00:01:39,327 --> 00:01:41,443
He thrived in the Florida sunshine,

12
00:01:41,607 --> 00:01:46,806
cut off, perhaps, from the realities of life
in the rest of his native land.

13
00:01:50,807 --> 00:01:54,880
Key West's lazy, tropical style
still feels a little cut off.

14
00:02:00,607 --> 00:02:06,603
The closer I come to the end of America,
the more I feel time slowing down.

15
00:02:06,767 --> 00:02:10,555
In some ways,
it's as if Hemingway had never left.

16
00:02:38,767 --> 00:02:44,444
La Concha Hotel was built in the 1920s
to try and pull in the first tourists.

17
00:02:44,607 --> 00:02:50,079
It also pulled in the Hemingways.
There's still a room named after him.

18
00:02:50,247 --> 00:02:53,319
Hi. I'm told you have a Hemingway suite.

19
00:02:53,487 --> 00:02:56,479
The only trouble is there's someone in it.

20
00:02:59,767 --> 00:03:02,759
- Hello. I'm Michael Palin.
- I'm Kevin Sullivan.

21
00:03:02,927 --> 00:03:09,321
Hi. I saw you're in the Ernest Hemingway suite
and I wondered if I might have a look.

22
00:03:09,487 --> 00:03:11,284
- Sure.
- Thank you.

23
00:03:11,447 --> 00:03:14,245
This is the Hemingway suite.

24
00:03:14,407 --> 00:03:19,003
Wow, yes. It's spacious.
He gave himself some room, didn't he?

25
00:03:19,167 --> 00:03:21,397
- He liked comfort.
- He was a big guy.

26
00:03:21,567 --> 00:03:25,719
He stayed here when he first arrived in the island.

27
00:03:25,887 --> 00:03:29,482
But I got something to tell you.
Are you ready for this?

28
00:03:29,647 --> 00:03:32,957
You're coming at a strange time.
Weird things have been happening.

29
00:03:33,127 --> 00:03:35,721
- Like what?
- I believe this room is haunted.

30
00:03:35,887 --> 00:03:39,766
- Haunted? By whom? By him?
- By the man himself.

31
00:03:39,927 --> 00:03:41,724
- Really?
- That's what I hear.

32
00:03:41,887 --> 00:03:47,883
Two people felt a very strong presence
of some type of spirit in the bedroom there.

33
00:03:48,047 --> 00:03:52,404
- A heavy presence.
- Sitting on the bed. This is for real.

34
00:03:52,567 --> 00:03:54,364
I feel this presence now.

35
00:03:54,527 --> 00:04:00,284
Actually, room 206 at the Sun Valley Lodge
in Idaho, that's haunted also.

36
00:04:00,447 --> 00:04:05,965
You see his right hand at night writing.
Yeah. I haven't seen that also.

37
00:04:06,127 --> 00:04:08,925
You're clearly a big fan.

38
00:04:09,087 --> 00:04:14,207
Yeah. I'm at the Hemingway
lookalike contest. I'm competing.

39
00:04:14,367 --> 00:04:17,962
- I should have realised! Sorry.
- Come on.

40
00:04:18,127 --> 00:04:21,836
I can see it now.
There's a certain subtlety, but it's there.

41
00:04:22,007 --> 00:04:26,683
- You're not a ghost.
- I'm the real thing. You can't get realer than me.

42
00:04:26,847 --> 00:04:30,886
- Where does that take place?
- Sloppy Joe's, the greatest bar in the world.

43
00:04:31,047 --> 00:04:34,596
- I've not been there yet.
- Would you like to join me?

44
00:04:34,767 --> 00:04:38,601
- Yeah. Why not?
- OK. Great. Let's go.

45
00:04:42,127 --> 00:04:46,120
This traffic is so slow, isn't it?

46
00:04:46,287 --> 00:04:52,078
Yeah. Don't worry about it.
I'll take care of it. I'm a cop.

47
00:04:52,247 --> 00:04:57,162
- What?
- I'm a cop. Let's go. Let's do it.

48
00:04:57,327 --> 00:05:02,560
Which is how I learned
Kevin really is a New York policeman.

49
00:05:06,327 --> 00:05:08,795
This is the high temple
of Hemingway worship -

50
00:05:08,967 --> 00:05:13,404
a bar once owned by Joe Russell,
his old fishing crony.

51
00:05:13,567 --> 00:05:16,365
- This is the Sloppy Joe's.
- The one and only.

52
00:05:16,527 --> 00:05:21,647
A quiet retreat for those who love Ernie.
And a tribute to him on the menu.

53
00:05:21,807 --> 00:05:24,879
"The Bun Also Rises."
"For Whom the Grill Tolls".

54
00:05:25,047 --> 00:05:27,117
I had that last night. Rather good.

55
00:05:27,287 --> 00:05:30,085
- As good as the book?
- It's coming up now.

56
00:05:30,247 --> 00:05:35,719
- Did you get into this through the books?
- I've been obsessed with him for 15 years.

57
00:05:35,887 --> 00:05:39,800
He led an incredible life -
a boozed, bruised and battered life.

58
00:05:39,967 --> 00:05:43,880
- This competition, how many years?
- Ten years.

59
00:05:44,047 --> 00:05:48,438
- And you've never won?
- I've made the finals three years in a row.

60
00:05:48,607 --> 00:05:53,965
I'm gonna be competing against
24 old, fat, rather out-of-shape gentlemen

61
00:05:54,127 --> 00:05:56,687
and I hope to win.

62
00:05:56,847 --> 00:06:01,841
- Are the other competitors supportive?
- No, they can't stand me.

63
00:06:02,007 --> 00:06:03,645
Ask anybody.

64
00:06:03,807 --> 00:06:08,119
Is there anyone here in Key West -
they'll be pretty old by now -

65
00:06:08,287 --> 00:06:11,404
who remembers Hemingway personally?

66
00:06:11,567 --> 00:06:17,597
There's a gentleman called Shine Forbes.
He used to spar with Hemingway in the '30s.

67
00:06:17,767 --> 00:06:22,283
- Where do I find him?
- He lives a couple of blocks away.

68
00:06:22,447 --> 00:06:25,359
I boxed with him Thursday night

69
00:06:25,527 --> 00:06:28,360
and the locals told me he was 90.

70
00:06:28,527 --> 00:06:33,282
And when I fought with him,
after he kicked my ass, I found out he was 83.

71
00:06:33,447 --> 00:06:38,521
If I'd have known, I would have never
fought him. I'm a lover, not a fighter.

72
00:06:39,527 --> 00:06:43,839
I hope you don't get
your ass kicked tomorrow night.

73
00:06:44,007 --> 00:06:49,320
- Thanks, Michael. Thank you very much.
- Good luck. See you then. Bye.

74
00:07:03,167 --> 00:07:06,000
0nly a few streets away from Sloppy Joe's,

75
00:07:06,167 --> 00:07:09,045
I'm in a world more Caribbean than American.

76
00:07:09,207 --> 00:07:12,244
Here the influences are African and Hispanic.

77
00:07:12,407 --> 00:07:17,561
The neighbourhoods have names
like Cuba Village and Bahama Village.

78
00:07:17,727 --> 00:07:22,323
It's in Bahama Village,
beside an old military base,

79
00:07:22,487 --> 00:07:26,275
that I enter the wonderful world of Shine Forbes.

80
00:07:31,007 --> 00:07:37,526
This is a quieter part of town. Has Key West
changed a lot since you were here?

81
00:07:37,687 --> 00:07:42,522
That street over there named Emma Street
was the red-light district.

82
00:07:42,687 --> 00:07:46,566
- Right.
- See that big house with the square roof?

83
00:07:46,727 --> 00:07:52,085
The House of all Nations, they called it.
It was a cat house.

84
00:07:52,247 --> 00:07:56,638
- Do you think Key West?
- Now it's against the law.

85
00:07:56,807 --> 00:08:00,766
Yeah. Hemingway liked cock fighting, didn't he?

86
00:08:00,927 --> 00:08:07,036
I don't know about that. I couldn't
tell you yeah and I couldn't tell you no.

87
00:08:07,207 --> 00:08:12,645
Only thing I know is he used to come down
to the Blue Heaven when they had fights

88
00:08:12,807 --> 00:08:17,756
and he'd referee the fights and we'd go
to his house and put on the gloves.

89
00:08:17,927 --> 00:08:22,205
This was at Hemingway's house?
He'd work out where?

90
00:08:22,367 --> 00:08:26,360
- Right by the swimming pool.
- How was Hemingway as a fighter?

91
00:08:26,527 --> 00:08:32,443
He was big, but he was no...
He was big enough to keep us off him.

92
00:08:32,607 --> 00:08:37,283
- He had a longer reach.
- We'd get the stomach or something.

93
00:08:37,447 --> 00:08:42,601
Can you show me what it was like?
Say I'm you and you're Ernest, OK?

94
00:08:42,767 --> 00:08:45,042
He used to go like this.

95
00:08:45,207 --> 00:08:47,198
- Yeah.
- Like this.

96
00:08:47,367 --> 00:08:54,045
So it would be one of those. He had
a longer reach, so he'd get out of the way.

97
00:08:54,207 --> 00:08:57,722
- And he would...
- Any stuff to the face?

98
00:08:57,887 --> 00:09:02,517
- So he'd get you on the face?
- All that came in, yeah.

99
00:09:02,687 --> 00:09:06,157
- Did you ever get hurt?
- No! He knocked us down.

100
00:09:06,327 --> 00:09:11,447
- Do you still box?
- No. I may get a heart attack.

101
00:09:13,207 --> 00:09:17,485
Amazing things you've got.
Spent your life collecting.

102
00:09:17,647 --> 00:09:22,243
Inside, Shine's is even more magical.
A small forest of memories.

103
00:09:22,407 --> 00:09:25,479
Everyone you ever knew here in these photos.

104
00:09:25,647 --> 00:09:29,003
- And that's...
- There he is, yeah.

105
00:09:29,167 --> 00:09:33,285
- That's me.
- You look a meaner fighter.

106
00:09:33,447 --> 00:09:38,475
You look fitter, a lot more sharp.
He's just leaning on the ring.

107
00:09:42,607 --> 00:09:47,727
This is the house where Shine Forbes
put on the gloves with Hemingway.

108
00:09:47,887 --> 00:09:51,675
Built in 1851,
bought by the Hemingways in 1931,

109
00:09:51,847 --> 00:09:57,524
its front gate is open eight hours a day
to the public it was built to keep out.

110
00:09:57,687 --> 00:09:59,723
- Morning.
- Good morning.

111
00:09:59,887 --> 00:10:03,880
- One, please. How much is it?
- That's 7.50.

112
00:10:04,047 --> 00:10:06,277
- There we go.
- Your ticket.

113
00:10:06,447 --> 00:10:08,915
- Thank you.
- Wait for your change.

114
00:10:09,087 --> 00:10:11,078
At 15-minute intervals,

115
00:10:11,247 --> 00:10:15,638
people who know nothing of Ernest
are told the facts of his life.

116
00:10:15,807 --> 00:10:19,322
Welcome to the Hemingway home.
My name's Dave...

117
00:10:19,487 --> 00:10:22,923
That he loved cats.

118
00:10:23,087 --> 00:10:27,160
That his wife had bad taste in chandeliers.

119
00:10:28,207 --> 00:10:31,085
That it was a long walk up to bed.

120
00:10:33,127 --> 00:10:38,042
And that he kept animals he'd killed
on the walls of his writing room.

121
00:10:38,207 --> 00:10:42,166
- You don't sound American.
- No. I'm from Ayrshire.

122
00:10:42,327 --> 00:10:45,080
- Are you a Hemingway fan.
- No.

123
00:10:49,927 --> 00:10:53,397
This is the fountain his cats would drink from.

124
00:10:53,567 --> 00:10:56,843
It's a urinal from Sloppy Joe's bar.

125
00:11:04,047 --> 00:11:07,164
(GUIDE) Hemingway had
between 50 and 60 cats.

126
00:11:07,327 --> 00:11:12,321
Some people call them six-toed cats.
Three of our cats have seven-toed feet.

127
00:11:12,487 --> 00:11:18,960
See those fabulous feet on him.
There you go. Pose for the camera, Bill.

128
00:11:26,807 --> 00:11:31,403
The independent character of Key West
is shaped by the sea that encircles it -

129
00:11:31,567 --> 00:11:36,118
even proclaiming itself a republic
named after a shellfish called the conch.

130
00:11:36,287 --> 00:11:41,315
This is a new one on me, and to find out
more about this republican symbol,

131
00:11:41,487 --> 00:11:44,843
I make my way to Key West's
oldest tourist facility.

132
00:11:45,007 --> 00:11:48,556
Understandably,
conchs are not the main attraction.

133
00:11:48,727 --> 00:11:52,197
- Would you like to touch the shark?
- Whereabouts?

134
00:11:52,367 --> 00:11:57,680
- Either the tail or...
- That's the nearest I've been to a shark.

135
00:11:57,847 --> 00:12:01,203
What would be the damage if that head got you?

136
00:12:01,367 --> 00:12:04,916
They have a very strong biting pressure.

137
00:12:05,087 --> 00:12:09,365
I've touched one,
which is slightly Hemingwayesque.

138
00:12:09,527 --> 00:12:15,716
Hemingway hated sharks because he was
a fisherman and they destroyed the catch.

139
00:12:15,887 --> 00:12:18,845
Once he went after sharks with a machine gun,

140
00:12:19,007 --> 00:12:24,127
which did no good because there was blood
everywhere and all the other sharks came in.

141
00:12:24,287 --> 00:12:29,998
- Oh, well... It's when they wriggle.
- This one here is actually a little girl.

142
00:12:30,167 --> 00:12:33,159
- A little girl?
- A wriggly little girl.

143
00:12:33,327 --> 00:12:39,436
The other thing that people talk about here
that I've never heard of is the conch.

144
00:12:39,607 --> 00:12:43,680
- The fish or shellfish...
- The conch that we make all the food?

145
00:12:43,847 --> 00:12:49,080
- I've had conch stew. Can I see one?
- Absolutely.

146
00:12:49,247 --> 00:12:53,286
I soon see why Hemingway never
wrote "The 0ld Man and the Conch".

147
00:12:53,447 --> 00:12:56,120
As sea creatures go, it's not a superstar.

148
00:12:56,287 --> 00:13:01,520
You want to bring it right up
and tilt it a little bit forward.

149
00:13:01,687 --> 00:13:04,281
- Then it should come out.
- It's heavy.

150
00:13:04,447 --> 00:13:08,281
- You have to be patient.
- There's a conch in there.

151
00:13:08,447 --> 00:13:11,837
- Here it comes.
- Water will come out of the shell.

152
00:13:12,007 --> 00:13:16,637
It's aiming for my fingers. Does that mean?

153
00:13:16,807 --> 00:13:23,246
No. That's called the operculum.
That's how they move.

154
00:13:23,407 --> 00:13:29,482
If you just go and look round the aquarium
for five minutes. Here it comes.

155
00:13:29,647 --> 00:13:32,525
- How much more is there?
- There's quite a bit inside.

156
00:13:32,687 --> 00:13:35,520
The eyes right upfront here, and the mouth.

157
00:13:35,687 --> 00:13:38,599
- There he comes.
- That's about all that's gonna come out.

158
00:13:38,767 --> 00:13:42,601
- It's about as big as the shark.
- That's a little boy.

159
00:13:42,767 --> 00:13:49,240
- Where's the little boy bits?
- That would be up here inside the shell.

160
00:13:49,407 --> 00:13:53,002
I see what you mean.
I thought those were his eyes.

161
00:13:53,167 --> 00:13:55,965
Whoa, bless you. Well done.

162
00:14:00,607 --> 00:14:04,486
"He was an old man who fished alone
in a skiff in the Gulf Stream

163
00:14:04,647 --> 00:14:07,366
"and he'd gone 84 days without taking a fish.

164
00:14:07,527 --> 00:14:12,203
"In the first 40 days a boy had been
with him, but after 40 days without a fish,

165
00:14:12,447 --> 00:14:16,725
"the boy's parents had told him
the old man was now definitely salao,

166
00:14:16,887 --> 00:14:19,162
"which is the worst form of unlucky,

167
00:14:19,327 --> 00:14:25,323
"and the boy had gone at their orders
in another boat which caught three fish..."

168
00:14:45,967 --> 00:14:50,165
This is a great day indeed. July 21st, 1999.

169
00:14:50,327 --> 00:14:54,445
The hundredth anniversary
of the birth of Ernest Hemingway.

170
00:14:54,607 --> 00:14:59,203
There'll doubtless be
some tasteful celebration planned.

171
00:14:59,367 --> 00:15:01,961
(BAGPIPES DRONE)

172
00:15:02,127 --> 00:15:06,006
# Happy birthday to you

173
00:15:06,167 --> 00:15:10,285
# Happy birthday to you... #

174
00:15:10,447 --> 00:15:15,760
It seems I was right. Past winners
of the lookalike competition, now judges,

175
00:15:15,927 --> 00:15:21,320
prove beyond a doubt
that Hemingway couldn't sing.

176
00:15:38,767 --> 00:15:43,761
Inside Sloppy Joe's, this year's
hero worship is approaching its climax.

177
00:15:43,927 --> 00:15:47,522
(COMPERE) Ladies and gentlemen...

178
00:15:48,527 --> 00:15:51,485
boys and girls...

179
00:15:51,647 --> 00:15:59,486
the 18th annual
Papa Hemingway lookalike contest!

180
00:15:59,647 --> 00:16:02,115
(CHEERING)

181
00:16:02,287 --> 00:16:07,077
Are you ready for Papa?

182
00:16:11,367 --> 00:16:14,962
Thank you. I appreciate
coming back again tonight.

183
00:16:15,127 --> 00:16:20,247
I also want to thank God for putting
the desire in my heart to be here tonight

184
00:16:20,407 --> 00:16:23,399
and giving me the genetics to be a contender.

185
00:16:24,447 --> 00:16:28,235
(WOMAN) Uh-oh!
(COMPERE) Uh-oh!

186
00:16:33,207 --> 00:16:37,997
This is the way he looked
as he looked out on the Serengeti plains

187
00:16:38,167 --> 00:16:42,797
at the lions he was gonna hunt that day,
with a hangover on.

188
00:16:48,247 --> 00:16:51,523
(WOMAN) Looking pretty good!

189
00:16:51,687 --> 00:16:57,603
A vote for me is a vote
for Ernie in his prime. Thank you.

190
00:16:58,647 --> 00:17:03,767
(COMPERE) Talk about a tough act
to follow. Mr Paul Gagnon!

191
00:17:03,927 --> 00:17:07,044
He's an amateur. He's a non-entity.

192
00:17:07,207 --> 00:17:11,246
- Have you ever taken your clothes off?
- Are you crazy? I wanna win.

193
00:17:11,407 --> 00:17:15,685
(MUSIC: "I'M YOUR MAN" BY WHAM)

194
00:17:18,407 --> 00:17:21,365
# But I know that you're sad

195
00:17:21,527 --> 00:17:26,043
# And I know I'll make you happy
with the one thing that you never had

196
00:17:26,207 --> 00:17:31,600
# Baby, I'm your man

197
00:17:31,767 --> 00:17:33,519
# Don't you know that

198
00:17:33,687 --> 00:17:39,159
# Baby, I'm your man... #

199
00:17:39,327 --> 00:17:43,843
- Tell me about him.
- He's gotta have more personality.

200
00:17:44,007 --> 00:17:47,477
You gotta shoot a bottle rocket outta your ass.

201
00:17:47,647 --> 00:17:51,526
Does it matter how long or short you are?

202
00:17:51,687 --> 00:17:56,158
I get up there for a long time
because I keep the audience fascinated.

203
00:17:56,327 --> 00:17:59,000
A guy like that has three seconds.

204
00:17:59,167 --> 00:18:05,037
Joining us all the way from the Big Apple,
New York, Mr Kevin Sullivan!

205
00:18:05,207 --> 00:18:08,165
(CHEERS AND BOOS)

206
00:18:08,327 --> 00:18:12,639
I'm intrigued to know Kevin's tactics.
Will it be modesty or charm?

207
00:18:12,807 --> 00:18:18,279
Let me tell you something - welcome
to the Kevin Sullivan lookalike contest.

208
00:18:18,447 --> 00:18:21,439
He's gone for modesty.

209
00:18:21,607 --> 00:18:26,635
Thursday night I had a fight with Shine -
you know, the little old prick.

210
00:18:26,807 --> 00:18:29,321
You know why nobody can find Shine?

211
00:18:29,487 --> 00:18:35,278
He's in the Key West jail now
charged with assaulting a police officer - me.

212
00:18:35,447 --> 00:18:38,803
- You're never gonna see him.
- (BOOING)

213
00:18:38,967 --> 00:18:44,439
I've been doing this for ten years.
Nobody's taken more abuse than me.

214
00:18:46,287 --> 00:18:49,279
(WOMAN) And I think he deserves it!

215
00:18:50,327 --> 00:18:55,845
I want to win this contest so bad,
I will do anything to win this contest.

216
00:18:56,007 --> 00:18:59,682
But if I lose, I just thought of something.

217
00:18:59,847 --> 00:19:04,125
If I lose, with the tragic death
of John F Kennedy Junior,

218
00:19:04,287 --> 00:19:07,245
I am now the sexiest man alive.

219
00:19:08,887 --> 00:19:10,878
I love myself!

220
00:19:11,047 --> 00:19:16,167
- Listen. Seriously... Seriously...
- (BOOING)

221
00:19:16,327 --> 00:19:21,162
Come on, don't do this to me. No, listen, listen.

222
00:19:21,327 --> 00:19:25,366
I love you, Papa,
and I know you're smiling down on me.

223
00:19:25,527 --> 00:19:28,803
God bless you all. I love you! Thank you!

224
00:19:28,967 --> 00:19:32,960
(COMPERE) Mr Kevin Sullivan!

225
00:19:33,127 --> 00:19:37,882
So you're a friend of Kevin's
and you've been here with him before?

226
00:19:38,047 --> 00:19:42,677
I've been here, Pamplona, Sun Valley.
He's a real Hemingway buff.

227
00:19:42,847 --> 00:19:45,919
- Are you a Hemingway fan?
- Not at all.

228
00:19:46,087 --> 00:19:48,647
(COMPERE) Paul Gagnon!

229
00:19:48,807 --> 00:19:52,436
- Kevin Sullivan.
- (BOOING)

230
00:19:52,607 --> 00:19:56,122
What kind of odds
would you give on Kevin tonight?

231
00:19:56,287 --> 00:20:00,121
If there's 24 people in the contest,
he'll finish 25th.

232
00:20:00,287 --> 00:20:05,156
- So that's a dead cert. A dead-cert loser.
- Don't bet on him.

233
00:20:05,327 --> 00:20:12,438
The 1999 winner of the 18th annual
Papa Hemingway lookalike contest...

234
00:20:12,607 --> 00:20:16,282
Big Rick Turman!

235
00:20:16,447 --> 00:20:19,245
(CHEERING)

236
00:20:24,487 --> 00:20:28,685
- It was a very good choice.
- Why?

237
00:20:28,847 --> 00:20:32,601
Because he's now a judge and he'll be judging me.

238
00:20:32,767 --> 00:20:38,842
Kevin shouldn't lose hope. No one
who looks like Hemingway ever wins.

239
00:20:45,967 --> 00:20:48,765
This is the real one again - going native.

240
00:20:48,927 --> 00:20:54,240
Hemingway's first African safari was
so successful, he went back in the 1950s.

241
00:20:54,407 --> 00:20:57,160
This time things didn't work out quite as well.

242
00:21:15,287 --> 00:21:21,442
This is Masindi in western Uganda,
close to Lake Albert and the River Nile.

243
00:21:24,727 --> 00:21:29,960
It's an easy-going town, perfect
for killing time and putting off departures.

244
00:21:45,327 --> 00:21:48,399
There's always some last-minute thing
an explorer needs.

245
00:21:48,567 --> 00:21:53,721
I opt for a bit of personal grooming -
always a good pick-me-up.

246
00:22:06,127 --> 00:22:09,676
The result's so impressive,
they create a Palin style...

247
00:22:11,687 --> 00:22:14,076
...or is it Colonel Gaddafi?

248
00:22:15,847 --> 00:22:18,805
I decide the way to find out
what happened to the Hemingways

249
00:22:18,967 --> 00:22:22,516
is to make the same trip myself.

250
00:22:26,247 --> 00:22:30,559
Hello. I'm just checking to see -
do you do any plane flights

251
00:22:30,727 --> 00:22:33,287
up Lake Albert into the Nile?

252
00:22:33,447 --> 00:22:36,644
You do? Good. Yeah.

253
00:22:36,807 --> 00:22:43,042
OK. Thank you. Palin, it is.
Thank you. All right. Bye.

254
00:22:52,927 --> 00:22:58,320
The flight over Lake Albert was a present
from Ernest to his wife, Mary,

255
00:22:58,487 --> 00:23:04,562
who, unlike him, was more keen
on seeing Africa than shooting animals.

256
00:23:05,447 --> 00:23:07,756
At the top of the lake, their pilot swung east

257
00:23:07,927 --> 00:23:10,919
to show them the big game
on the banks of the Nile.

258
00:23:23,767 --> 00:23:28,841
They saw one of the most spectacular
and least-known sights in Africa -

259
00:23:29,007 --> 00:23:30,998
the Murchison Falls,

260
00:23:31,167 --> 00:23:33,761
where the Nile, a quarter of a mile across,

261
00:23:33,927 --> 00:23:38,443
is hurled with tremendous force
down a ravine 30 feet wide.

262
00:23:50,687 --> 00:23:56,603
Mary shot roll after roll of photographs
as the pilot took the aircraft ever lower

263
00:23:56,767 --> 00:24:01,761
to what Hemingway later described as
"a reasonably legal height".

264
00:24:03,047 --> 00:24:08,838
At this point the pilot hit a telegraph wire.
The result was predictably Hemingwayesque.

265
00:24:10,887 --> 00:24:13,879
(CRASHING)

266
00:24:19,327 --> 00:24:21,318
No one was seriously injured,

267
00:24:21,487 --> 00:24:27,084
but they were stranded miles from anything
apart from very large animals.

268
00:24:30,647 --> 00:24:35,926
I'm taken upriver by Francis, a ranger,
whose father saw the crashed plane.

269
00:24:36,087 --> 00:24:38,999
How long have you worked in the park now?

270
00:24:39,167 --> 00:24:42,125
I've worked in the park about 36 years now.

271
00:24:42,287 --> 00:24:45,597
I was wounded in the field.

272
00:24:45,767 --> 00:24:48,565
- You were wounded how?
- I was shot.

273
00:24:48,727 --> 00:24:51,002
- By who?
- Three times by poachers.

274
00:24:51,167 --> 00:24:54,364
I was shot in my arm here. Can you see?

275
00:24:54,527 --> 00:24:58,042
- Yes, I can.
- And I was shot in my leg also.

276
00:24:58,207 --> 00:25:00,402
- Blimey.
- The scar can be seen also.

277
00:25:00,567 --> 00:25:04,685
- God. Wow.
- The bullet is still also in my leg.

278
00:25:04,847 --> 00:25:07,725
- The bullet's in there?
- It's still here.

279
00:25:07,887 --> 00:25:09,878
Brave man.

280
00:25:19,767 --> 00:25:23,885
Thanks to difficult terrain and years of civil war,

281
00:25:24,047 --> 00:25:27,323
this corner of Uganda remains largely unspoilt,

282
00:25:27,487 --> 00:25:30,957
although the sunbeds are snapped up quickly.

283
00:25:37,767 --> 00:25:39,758
Is this it? OK.

284
00:25:47,607 --> 00:25:50,360
- Telegram poles.
- (METALLIC CLINK)

285
00:25:50,687 --> 00:25:55,158
That's the pole for the telegraph wire that he hit.

286
00:25:55,327 --> 00:26:00,355
It looks like a tree. It's all so overgrown now.

287
00:26:04,927 --> 00:26:09,523
So this is the place
where the accident happened in 1954.

288
00:26:09,687 --> 00:26:13,885
- This is where the plane came down.
- But there were no trees.

289
00:26:14,047 --> 00:26:18,484
There were a lot of elephants,
so they slashed all the trees.

290
00:26:18,647 --> 00:26:23,721
- Or they probably wouldn't have lived.
- They could have died maybe.

291
00:26:23,887 --> 00:26:28,403
Whilst the pilot broadcast
the plane's call sign "Victor Love Item",

292
00:26:28,567 --> 00:26:31,479
the Hemingways climbed up to higher ground

293
00:26:31,647 --> 00:26:35,003
to avoid the attentions of local elephant.

294
00:26:38,647 --> 00:26:43,801
Hemingway gathered long grass to make
a bed for his wife who'd broken two ribs.

295
00:26:43,967 --> 00:26:45,798
Oh, sorry.

296
00:26:45,967 --> 00:26:49,357
They chose a campsite overlooking the river.

297
00:26:49,527 --> 00:26:51,757
Very high.

298
00:26:51,927 --> 00:26:58,446
So this is the area where they camped
when the plane crashed down.

299
00:26:58,607 --> 00:27:04,921
My father told me that when they are high up,
they can see the Murchison Falls.

300
00:27:05,087 --> 00:27:08,921
- There you can see.
- And they were safe up here?

301
00:27:09,087 --> 00:27:11,078
- Yes.
- From the elephants.

302
00:27:11,247 --> 00:27:15,126
I know they brought
all the food they'd got on board.

303
00:27:15,287 --> 00:27:20,315
It seemed to be mainly drink. There was
a wonderful bit that Hemingway wrote.

304
00:27:20,487 --> 00:27:26,198
"We rationed the Carlsberg beer
at the rate of one bottle each three days.

305
00:27:26,367 --> 00:27:31,157
"We rationed the Grand McNish whisky
to one drink each evening.

306
00:27:31,327 --> 00:27:34,080
"The water we planned to renew
from the Murchison Falls,

307
00:27:34,247 --> 00:27:37,239
"where there seemed to be a plentiful supply."

308
00:27:37,407 --> 00:27:39,284
So it was over there.

309
00:27:41,207 --> 00:27:46,235
The Hemingways had plenty of time
to appreciate the beauties of the falls.

310
00:27:47,927 --> 00:27:53,047
They spent a night in the bush, hearing
the sound of elephants coming ever closer.

311
00:27:57,087 --> 00:28:00,238
The elephant population
may have declined since then,

312
00:28:00,407 --> 00:28:04,400
but it hasn't made night life
by the River Nile any quieter.

313
00:28:04,567 --> 00:28:07,559
(WHISTLING AND CHIRPING)

314
00:28:24,887 --> 00:28:27,879
(CACOPHONY OF ANIMAL CALLS)

315
00:28:31,847 --> 00:28:34,839
(ELEPHANTS TRUMPET)

316
00:28:39,527 --> 00:28:42,519
(ANIMAL CALLS CONTINUE)

317
00:28:57,047 --> 00:29:01,518
By a stroke of luck, the Hemingways
were rescued the next morning.

318
00:29:03,807 --> 00:29:08,403
They'd attracted the attention
of a river steamer, the SS Murchison,

319
00:29:08,567 --> 00:29:12,242
which was carrying a party up to the falls.

320
00:29:12,407 --> 00:29:18,880
They delivered the Hemingways
to the town of Butiaba on Lake Albert -

321
00:29:19,047 --> 00:29:23,040
which is where I'm heading now
with my driver Mohammed.

322
00:29:26,727 --> 00:29:31,801
- (CHILDREN CHEER)
- Hello. Whe-hey!

323
00:29:31,967 --> 00:29:36,199
Did you ever know anything
about Ernest Hemingway, the writer,

324
00:29:36,367 --> 00:29:39,086
who came to see the Murchison Falls?

325
00:29:39,247 --> 00:29:44,685
It is going to be my first time
to hear about him right now.

326
00:29:44,847 --> 00:29:50,877
I'll lend you one of his stories. He wrote some
good stories about Africa. He loved your country.

327
00:29:51,047 --> 00:29:53,322
I'm very proud of that

328
00:29:53,487 --> 00:30:00,962
and I'd be very grateful if I really
get a novel concerning his adventure.

329
00:30:01,127 --> 00:30:05,245
- I'll leave you one of the books I've got.
- Very grateful.

330
00:30:05,407 --> 00:30:07,875
You might not like it.

331
00:30:13,007 --> 00:30:18,081
Uganda's been through a lot of turmoil
in the last 25 years.

332
00:30:18,247 --> 00:30:20,602
Has it settled down now?

333
00:30:20,767 --> 00:30:23,235
We have very great changes.

334
00:30:23,407 --> 00:30:27,878
The country's almost 80% OK.

335
00:30:28,047 --> 00:30:31,164
Seems very settled. It's a beautiful country.

336
00:30:31,327 --> 00:30:35,923
- Did the war affect you?
- Yes, the war affected me.

337
00:30:36,087 --> 00:30:40,478
I lost my mother through the bush war.

338
00:30:41,767 --> 00:30:47,478
That was 1984. I did not know where she died.

339
00:30:47,647 --> 00:30:51,435
And some other relatives and friends.
A lot were killed.

340
00:30:55,007 --> 00:30:59,285
As we approach Butiaba, there are
still chilling reminders of the bad times.

341
00:31:10,727 --> 00:31:14,515
We arrive as the morning catch
is brought in from Lake Albert.

342
00:31:14,687 --> 00:31:20,080
Most of these fishermen are not Ugandans
but refugees from the Congo -

343
00:31:20,247 --> 00:31:22,920
only 25 miles across the lake.

344
00:31:31,167 --> 00:31:33,727
For them, fishing is a family business.

345
00:31:49,727 --> 00:31:54,278
Mohammed thinks our best chance
of information is from the headmen.

346
00:31:54,447 --> 00:31:59,316
He knows one of them
and says he's usually in the local marketplace.

347
00:32:00,327 --> 00:32:03,524
- That's the man we're looking for.
- Which one?

348
00:32:03,687 --> 00:32:08,681
- The one in the shirt.
- By the bicycle.

349
00:32:08,847 --> 00:32:11,759
- Yes.
- OK. Great. What's his name?

350
00:32:11,927 --> 00:32:15,397
- Abdul Kasongo.
- Abdul. OK. Thank you.

351
00:32:22,927 --> 00:32:25,316
- Excuse me? Are you Abdul?
- Yeah.

352
00:32:25,487 --> 00:32:28,559
- Hello. Michael Palin.
- Yes.

353
00:32:28,727 --> 00:32:34,643
I'm here in Butiaba
because I'm looking for some evidence

354
00:32:34,807 --> 00:32:38,163
that an American writer, about 30 years ago,

355
00:32:38,327 --> 00:32:42,445
was brought here after a plane crash
up near Murchison Falls.

356
00:32:42,607 --> 00:32:47,965
My friend Mohammed said
that you might know something about the man.

357
00:32:48,127 --> 00:32:50,595
- There he is. Ernest Hemingway.
- Yes.

358
00:32:50,767 --> 00:32:54,123
- Does the name ring a bell?
- I know.

359
00:32:54,287 --> 00:32:57,359
- You do know? Good. '53?
- '54.

360
00:32:57,527 --> 00:32:59,518
That's right. January '54.

361
00:32:59,687 --> 00:33:04,363
This is a breakthrough. Abdul not only
remembers Hemingway's arrival here

362
00:33:04,527 --> 00:33:09,555
but, more significantly, his departure
from the now abandoned Butiaba airstrip.

363
00:33:09,727 --> 00:33:12,195
He says he'll take me there.

364
00:33:15,447 --> 00:33:19,838
Abdul tells me he was ten
when the famous American arrived in town.

365
00:33:20,007 --> 00:33:22,157
Lots of people were looking for him,

366
00:33:22,327 --> 00:33:26,923
but the man who got there first
was an Englishman named Reggie Cartwright.

367
00:33:27,087 --> 00:33:31,877
He had a plane at the airstrip,
fuelled up and ready to go.

368
00:33:32,047 --> 00:33:34,242
- You were here...
- Yes.

369
00:33:34,407 --> 00:33:37,956
...when the plane was taking off towards Entebbe.

370
00:33:38,127 --> 00:33:43,759
- What happened then?
- The plane crashed there. Yes.

371
00:33:43,927 --> 00:33:49,160
Incredibly, the Hemingways had crashed
for the second time in 48 hours.

372
00:33:49,327 --> 00:33:55,562
But there is some fire in that airplane.

373
00:33:55,727 --> 00:33:59,481
- Caught fire?
- Yeah. Short-circuited, I think.

374
00:33:59,647 --> 00:34:02,320
While it was taxiing.

375
00:34:02,487 --> 00:34:06,639
- And that man, which you would say...
- Mr Hemingway?

376
00:34:06,807 --> 00:34:09,367
- Big...
- Big shoulders.

377
00:34:09,527 --> 00:34:11,677
And tall. Yes.

378
00:34:11,847 --> 00:34:17,558
We see him. It was burning in his head.

379
00:34:17,727 --> 00:34:22,039
"Oh! Oh!" I mean, he cried.

380
00:34:22,207 --> 00:34:25,199
His hair was on fire, was it?

381
00:34:25,367 --> 00:34:27,961
It was a fire, yes.

382
00:34:28,127 --> 00:34:32,120
- Did it blow up?
- Yes. Two days it was burning.

383
00:34:32,287 --> 00:34:35,006
Changing colour... of a fire.

384
00:34:35,167 --> 00:34:41,322
Sometimes white or blue, red...
That is what we see.

385
00:34:41,487 --> 00:34:45,480
- Is there anything left of the plane?
- Yes. Some scraps.

386
00:34:45,647 --> 00:34:49,117
- Really? Some bits and pieces?
- Yes.

387
00:34:49,287 --> 00:34:52,757
- Can you show me?
- I can show you.

388
00:34:58,847 --> 00:35:02,760
- The place is here.
- The plane crashed here.

389
00:35:02,927 --> 00:35:05,521
So there's bits left.

390
00:35:05,687 --> 00:35:10,203
- This is a cylinder from the plane.
- That's amazing.

391
00:35:10,367 --> 00:35:14,076
The cylinder. It was a De Havilland, wasn't it?

392
00:35:14,247 --> 00:35:19,116
- This was the battery.
- That's a bit of battery. Gosh.

393
00:35:19,287 --> 00:35:23,963
That's amazing. There's a bit of the fuselage.

394
00:35:24,127 --> 00:35:25,799
Yeah.

395
00:35:25,967 --> 00:35:29,403
- Has anyone come to see you?
- What?

396
00:35:29,567 --> 00:35:34,197
- Has anyone ever come to ask what?
- To ask about this? No.

397
00:35:34,367 --> 00:35:37,677
- Can I take one bit?
- You can take that one.

398
00:35:37,847 --> 00:35:41,635
That piece. That one is better.

399
00:35:41,807 --> 00:35:44,526
I'll leave the rest here in the graveyard.

400
00:35:44,687 --> 00:35:47,406
This crash was more serious than the first.

401
00:35:47,567 --> 00:35:52,595
For me, these scraps of metal are
the most poignant of Hemingway relics.

402
00:36:02,247 --> 00:36:07,116
In fact, it was a case of Hemingway
and wife not killed in air crash, yet again.

403
00:36:07,287 --> 00:36:11,838
Despite, amongst other injuries,
a fractured skull, cracked vertebrae,

404
00:36:12,007 --> 00:36:15,795
ruptured liver, dislocated shoulder
and first-degree burns,

405
00:36:15,967 --> 00:36:19,004
Hemingway was soon
on the move again to Venice,

406
00:36:19,167 --> 00:36:25,276
and here, on the terrace of the Gritti Palace
Hotel, he read his own obituary, with glee.

407
00:37:12,847 --> 00:37:17,841
As you can see, we've hit Venice
bang in the middle of carnival,

408
00:37:18,007 --> 00:37:22,523
and it seems a bit boring not to get
into the spirit, so I've got an outfit.

409
00:37:22,687 --> 00:37:27,920
It's quite individual, but you'll know
it's me. I'll go and slip it on now.

410
00:37:29,087 --> 00:37:33,080
I choose a discreet side canal
to spring my surprise on the crew.

411
00:37:34,087 --> 00:37:36,760
(CAMERAMAN) That's him. Hemingway.

412
00:37:38,607 --> 00:37:42,077
- Michael.
- OK, Michael. Hold it there.

413
00:37:42,247 --> 00:37:45,717
Michael, let us catch up. Stop. Stop.

414
00:37:47,287 --> 00:37:50,040
Right. Take off the mask.

415
00:37:50,207 --> 00:37:52,323
- God, who's that?
- I don't know.

416
00:37:52,487 --> 00:37:55,957
- That's him in the Palin mask.
- It isn't a Palin mask.

417
00:37:56,127 --> 00:38:00,643
It is. You see when he turns round.
Michael. Michael, wait.

418
00:38:00,807 --> 00:38:02,559
- Michael?
- Sshh!

419
00:38:02,727 --> 00:38:08,324
- Down here! Down here!
- Bloody hell.

420
00:38:08,487 --> 00:38:11,285
Down here!

421
00:38:12,727 --> 00:38:14,046
Oh!

422
00:38:16,927 --> 00:38:20,636
Oh, my head. Oh, my head.

423
00:38:23,527 --> 00:38:26,758
My sadly unappreciated attempt
to get into the carnival spirit

424
00:38:26,927 --> 00:38:29,487
has distracted me from urgent business -

425
00:38:29,647 --> 00:38:32,161
a rendezvous with a man
who knew Hemingway in Venice

426
00:38:32,327 --> 00:38:35,683
and a member
of the Venetian aristocracy no less.

427
00:38:51,887 --> 00:38:53,798
(CAMERAMAN) Tash.

428
00:38:53,967 --> 00:38:58,006
- Tash. Tash.
- What?

429
00:39:21,807 --> 00:39:25,800
- Baron Franchetti. Michael Palin.
- Nice to see you.

430
00:39:25,967 --> 00:39:29,846
- Thank you for letting me come.
- How are you?

431
00:39:30,007 --> 00:39:35,081
I'm fine. Got caught up in the carnival rush.
Lost the camera and crew.

432
00:39:37,007 --> 00:39:42,286
Do you think that Venice has changed a lot
in the last 50 years, perhaps?

433
00:39:42,447 --> 00:39:48,238
Not at all. Venice does not change at all.
Venice is the same.

434
00:39:48,407 --> 00:39:52,844
What changes is the kind of people
that come to Venice...

435
00:39:53,847 --> 00:39:58,363
and sometimes you can see it in the canal noise.

436
00:39:58,527 --> 00:40:00,006
Engines.

437
00:40:00,167 --> 00:40:04,957
But the structure of the city is the same
and will be the same always.

438
00:40:05,127 --> 00:40:09,325
I ask him what, if anything,
he remembers of Ernest Hemingway.

439
00:40:09,487 --> 00:40:15,119
I was a child, so we were all impressed
by his volume. He was such a huge man.

440
00:40:15,287 --> 00:40:21,635
But with my father, I believe
the main interest was duck hunting,

441
00:40:21,807 --> 00:40:28,201
as my father, at the time, owned a "valle",
which was very famous.

442
00:40:28,367 --> 00:40:34,078
- A valle is what?
- A valle is a big extension of ponds.

443
00:40:34,247 --> 00:40:37,603
- Area of lakes.
- Lakes, canals, woods.

444
00:40:37,767 --> 00:40:40,839
An incredibly wild place.

445
00:40:41,007 --> 00:40:45,876
- And Hemingway went there?
- He fell in love with that environment.

446
00:40:46,047 --> 00:40:49,960
- Does it still happen, duck hunting?
- Certainly.

447
00:40:50,127 --> 00:40:54,245
Is it possible for me
to come and be a fly on the wall?

448
00:40:54,407 --> 00:40:56,762
We can have a real duck hunt.

449
00:40:56,927 --> 00:41:02,559
The estate is a 40-mile drive to the east,
so we have to leave Venice that night.

450
00:41:26,167 --> 00:41:29,603
We arrive just in time
for the traditional pre-shoot dinner.

451
00:41:29,767 --> 00:41:34,682
For some reason, this reminds me
of "Murder on the 0rient Express".

452
00:41:34,847 --> 00:41:38,556
Did Hemingway take part in all this as well?

453
00:41:38,727 --> 00:41:42,686
Sė. He loved sitting at the table.

454
00:41:42,847 --> 00:41:45,680
A lot of it was drinking also.

455
00:41:45,847 --> 00:41:50,921
I remember him having a box under the table
filled with a bottle of gin, whisky,

456
00:41:51,087 --> 00:41:56,366
and taking up this bottle, serving himself, and...

457
00:41:56,527 --> 00:41:58,597
Did you ever see him drunk?

458
00:41:58,767 --> 00:42:02,601
He was never drunk. He was always
on the same mental situation.

459
00:42:02,767 --> 00:42:05,406
- Level. Same level.
- The same level.

460
00:42:05,567 --> 00:42:08,206
Is it a political issue in Italy?

461
00:42:08,367 --> 00:42:14,681
In some countries now, in England, there is
a move against any form of killing animals.

462
00:42:14,847 --> 00:42:17,998
- People disapprove.
- The same in Italy.

463
00:42:18,167 --> 00:42:21,682
- The Green people...
- Green people.

464
00:42:21,847 --> 00:42:29,276
The WWF... The association
that is all over the world.

465
00:42:29,447 --> 00:42:31,642
- World Wildlife Fund.
- Yes.

466
00:42:31,807 --> 00:42:33,843
Prince er...

467
00:42:34,007 --> 00:42:36,043
(SPEAKS ITALIAN)

468
00:42:36,207 --> 00:42:39,643
Filipo. Prince Philip. He's the president.

469
00:42:39,807 --> 00:42:43,846
- A man that's shot...
- He's shot a few things in his time.

470
00:42:44,007 --> 00:42:50,321
In one morning about 500 pheasants
in a game reserve in Lombardia.

471
00:42:50,487 --> 00:42:52,762
The president.

472
00:42:52,927 --> 00:42:58,445
So we have this two per cent
of Green people in the Italian parliament,

473
00:42:58,607 --> 00:43:00,643
but they are very strong.

474
00:43:00,807 --> 00:43:04,117
Now we have limits of 25 birds every day.

475
00:43:04,287 --> 00:43:08,724
In Hemingway's time we had no limits.
Absolutely no limits.

476
00:43:08,887 --> 00:43:12,163
What's the most that you've ever shot in a day?

477
00:43:12,327 --> 00:43:16,798
Me? 25. Yes. Every day, 25.

478
00:43:16,967 --> 00:43:19,561
(LAUGHTER)

479
00:43:33,087 --> 00:43:37,319
After what seems no more than a couple
of hours' sleep, I'm woken by the baron.

480
00:43:37,487 --> 00:43:40,684
- (BARON) Almost sunrise.
- Cold.

481
00:43:40,847 --> 00:43:46,205
It's pre-dawn and cold enough, fortunately,
to freeze the most powerful hangover.

482
00:43:47,367 --> 00:43:50,404
- (BARON) OK. We go.
- Right.

483
00:43:50,567 --> 00:43:52,558
(BARON) You get in first.

484
00:43:53,807 --> 00:43:56,480
When you're OK, you tell me and I get in.

485
00:43:56,647 --> 00:44:00,879
- Yep. That's all right.
- Can I get in? OK.

486
00:44:01,047 --> 00:44:05,359
- (BARON) OK. We sit down.
- Unusual way of sitting.

487
00:44:05,527 --> 00:44:08,519
(ICE CRUNCHES)

488
00:44:13,207 --> 00:44:16,722
What are the conditions like this morning?

489
00:44:16,887 --> 00:44:21,119
They're not as good as last night.
There is some ice forming.

490
00:44:21,287 --> 00:44:25,917
- Ice is not good?
- Light is too clear, so birds see a lot.

491
00:44:26,087 --> 00:44:28,840
(PALIN) So that's why you go out early

492
00:44:29,007 --> 00:44:33,797
because there's less light
and it's more difficult for the birds to see.

493
00:44:33,967 --> 00:44:40,964
(BARON) And also they are disturbed
by the lights of the houses and buildings.

494
00:44:41,127 --> 00:44:44,563
- (BARON) They get more nervous in the morning.
- Yeah.

495
00:44:44,727 --> 00:44:47,002
But we're gonna see something.

496
00:44:47,167 --> 00:44:51,558
So imagine Ernest Hemingway getting into that!

497
00:44:51,727 --> 00:44:54,446
(PALIN) Getting out
must have been even more difficult.

498
00:44:54,607 --> 00:44:59,397
(BARON) That would require
half an hour, I'd imagine.

499
00:44:59,567 --> 00:45:04,038
(PALIN) Yes. They're quite deep.
They're about four foot deep.

500
00:45:06,007 --> 00:45:08,999
(BARON) Swans there. They're beautiful.

501
00:45:12,007 --> 00:45:16,762
Whilst we settle into our barrels
and attempt to look like drifting grass,

502
00:45:16,927 --> 00:45:22,718
the boatman puts out decoys -
some wooden, some very much alive.

503
00:45:24,287 --> 00:45:29,361
Are we in the authentic Hemingway
position for duck hunting?

504
00:45:29,527 --> 00:45:32,917
Yes. He would sit with the gun between his legs.

505
00:45:33,087 --> 00:45:35,555
He was the only one to bring a book.

506
00:45:35,727 --> 00:45:40,005
Watching the book is good
because ducks wouldn't see his face,

507
00:45:40,167 --> 00:45:43,318
but he wouldn't see ducks either.

508
00:45:44,487 --> 00:45:49,959
I will try to look at my right
and you try to look on the left.

509
00:45:50,127 --> 00:45:53,961
Any of us who sees a duck first, tell the other.

510
00:45:54,127 --> 00:46:00,316
- What happens when the ducks come?
- Please, get as down as you can.

511
00:46:00,487 --> 00:46:06,005
Don't move the head and just look at them
with the eyes without moving the head.

512
00:46:07,167 --> 00:46:12,719
I'm quite nervous now. Will I be able
to tell what's a duck and what isn't?

513
00:46:21,367 --> 00:46:25,519
The question proves academic -
the ducks we see are out of range

514
00:46:25,687 --> 00:46:29,680
and those birds that do fly overhead
aren't ducks.

515
00:46:43,607 --> 00:46:46,565
I can hear other hunters
blasting away in the distance,

516
00:46:46,727 --> 00:46:51,084
but still the only ducks in our part of the lagoon
are the ones we put there.

517
00:46:55,807 --> 00:47:01,439
It's getting on. I reckon we've been here
about three and a half hours

518
00:47:01,607 --> 00:47:05,680
with comparative lack of success, Alberto.

519
00:47:05,847 --> 00:47:09,726
- To what do you attribute this?
- You never know in the valle.

520
00:47:09,887 --> 00:47:13,038
Situations can change in five minutes,

521
00:47:13,207 --> 00:47:18,759
but if it's a day like this, nobody can prevent it.

522
00:47:18,927 --> 00:47:24,797
- So we should wait a little longer?
- I believe the situation could change.

523
00:47:29,287 --> 00:47:35,078
The less the situation changes, the more
I'm driven to Hemingwayesque measures.

524
00:47:37,007 --> 00:47:39,840
Alberto is equally desperate.

525
00:47:40,007 --> 00:47:42,805
(QUACKING)

526
00:47:45,087 --> 00:47:49,365
0ur decoy ducks appear
to have taken a vow of silence,

527
00:47:49,527 --> 00:47:52,599
forcing the baron into dazzling impersonations.

528
00:47:52,767 --> 00:47:55,759
(LOW CHIRPING)

529
00:48:03,047 --> 00:48:06,722
The ducks fly in all directions,
except over our heads.

530
00:48:07,767 --> 00:48:12,318
Hemingway got one thing right about duck
hunting - always bring a good book.

531
00:48:12,487 --> 00:48:16,639
If that doesn't work,
go and live somewhere much warmer.

532
00:48:16,807 --> 00:48:21,278
(CHIRPING AND QUACKING CONTINUES)

