警告: 马匹不宜观看
翻译: 佐佐 校对: 叶水枫 版权所有 翻版必究 :)
机器人公寓
选择啊 选择 Decisions, decisions.
今天戴书呆子眼镜呢 还是不戴呢? Should I wear my nerd glasses today, or not?
一般我不戴的 Usually I don't.
随你便 有什么影响么 Whatever. It doesn't really matter.
有什么影响? Doesn't matter?
我们做出的每一个决定 Every decision we make
都会打开这种可能性对应的宇宙 opens up a universe of possibilities.
我要说的是 作为一种有感情的生物 I put it to you that, as sentient beings,
我们拥有的每种选择都很珍贵 each choice we make is precious.
好吧 拿这事说 劝你别戴 Well, in that case, don't wear them.
切 谁问你了 Ah, who asked you?
我好喜欢你的书呆子眼镜 Ooh, I like your nerd glasses.
你是大学生吗? Are you a college student?
大学生? A college student?
如果你真是 我想请你参加 Because if you are, I'd like to invite you
今晚的一场超赞姐妹会 to a hot sorority party tonight.
好的 我非常愿意融入大学 Yes, I'd like to enroll in college?
快别和我说了 You're still talking to me.
哥伦比亚克大学
学费一万块? $10,000 tuition?
小弟读不起啊 I can't afford that!
嘿 看过去 Psst. Over there.
- 看哪? - 我说看过来 - Where? - I mean over here.
抱歉 忘了我们在这儿了 Sorry, I forgot where I was.
你好 Bender Buongiorno, Bender.
我们机器人黑手党打算借你10000块 We, the robot mafia, are prepared to lend you $10,000
高利贷利息10000% at an interest rate of 10,000%.
这俩数好记 That's easy to remember.
成交 I'll take it!
选择啊 选择 Decisions, decisions.
我看还是往后坐吧 那儿的家伙比较酷 I guess I'll sit way in back, with the cool guys.
你这货 以为自己够酷 Yo hombre, you think you're cool enough
敢坐这么靠后和校园恶棍同桌? to sit way in back with us college toughs?
是的 我敢 Yes, I do.
哟 这么想你就对了 哥们儿 Yo, in that case you're all right, man.
想加入本帮吗? You want to join a gang?
我还是那句 我想 I'm gonna go with yes again.
院长办公室
Bender同学 Mr. Bender,
我听说你进入课堂不到 32 秒钟 I realize class has only been in session for 32 seconds,
就和一帮坏学生同流合污了 but you've fallen in with a bad crowd.
我懂 行吗? I know, right?
另外我决定退学了 Also, I've decided to drop out of school.
学费要回来了 Well, I got my tuition back,
刨去给院长夫人的9000块损失费 minus $9,000 for the damage I caused to the dean's wife.
哟 欢迎加入本帮 兄弟 Yo, welcome to the gang, homes.
我是Fabricio I'm Fabricio.
这是给你的Josten戒指 Here's your Josten's ring.
嘿 那是啥? 白粉吗? Hey, what's that? Is it drugs?
不是白粉 Nah, it ain't drugs.
不过跟那差不多 But it's a lot like drugs.
这玩意叫火花 尝一口? It's called spark. You want a hit?
没听说过 试下咯 Never heard of it. Sure.
好抽不? You like it?
有没有都行吧 Eh, I can take it or leave it.
不然还是要吧 I guess I'll take it.
拜托 我要火花 C'mon! I want that spark!
还给我 Give me that!
不可磨灭黑帮刺青
你可想好了 老弟 This a big decision, G.
真准备纹黑帮刺青? Are you ready to get a gang tattoo
它会标记你一辈子是个冷血暴徒 that will mark you as a stone cold thug for life?
我准备好了 I'm ready.
给我纹那个紫色大恐龙 谢了 I'll take that big purple dinosaur, please.
纹脸上 On the face.
不妙 撞上敌帮了 Oh, snap! It's our rival gang!
有人跟咱作对? 我恨他们 We have a rival gang? I hate them!
卧倒 Hit the deck!
差点挨枪子 Fabricio That was close, eh, Fabricio?
Fabricio Fabricio!
安息吧 老哥 Rest in peace, homie.
哟 Paco 我心拔凉的 Yo Paco, I'm hurtin' bad.
借我火花振奋下 Hook me up with some spark.
- 五块钱 - 五块? - Five bucks. - Five bucks?
你知道我钱都拿去上赌博课了 You know I spent all my money on gambling lessons.
上哪儿给你五块钱? How am I supposed to get $5?
幸会啊 帅哥 Hello, handsome.
我能买你的服务不? Might I procure your services?
你想让我干嘛? Uh... what do I have to do?
没啥猥琐的 这点我保证 Oh, nothing sordid, I assure you!
趁我羞辱野鸡的时候 Simply vomit on me, ever so gently,
在我身上轻轻吐两口就行 while I humiliate a pheasant.
进了闺房再说吧 Save it for the boudoir!
好了 给你五块钱 Okay, here's my $5!
把那玩意给我 快点给我 Give me the stuff. Give it to me!
不客气了 赌徒 Sorry there, sport.
这张现钞应该属于我们黑手党 That cash greenback belongs to us Mafiolios.
打死我也不会松开这张票儿的 There's no way I'm letting go of that money!
跟你说了的 Told you.
机器人医院
说来话长 It's been quite a journey.
我辍了学 加入黑帮 I dropped out of school, joined a gang,
用高利贷借了一笔钱 took money from a loan shark,
陷入绝望和毒瘾的漩涡 and fell into a spiral of despair, addiction,
还差点失了身 and discount prostitution.
天啊 这一天真够炼狱的 Mon, you had one hell of a day.
是啊 不过我长教训了 Yeah, but I learned something.
生活就是一次又一次选择 Life is about decisions.
选错了 你就等着一路跌撞 Make the wrong ones, and you'll wind up face-down
栽倒在自己的血泊和尿尿里吧 in a pool of your own blood and urine.
就当自建游泳池了 Still, to have your own pool...
我这辈子选错太多次了 I've made a lot of bad choices in life.
大家等着看我能不能选对哪怕一次吧 Now let's see if I can make just one good one.
曲奇饼干 五毛钱一盒哦 Cookies! 50 cents a box!
把钱都交出来 Give me all your change!
再交出一盒曲奇球 And a box of snicker doodles!
警察
法院
Bender Rodriguez Bender Rodriguez,
你被指控小额盗窃 you are charged with petty larceny,
持有类似毒品物 possession of something analogous to drugs,
使用熏人武器袭人 and assault with a smelly weapon.
- 你要辩解吗? - 我无罪 - How do you plead? - Not guilty!
虽然我真的做了 Although I did do it.
没错 我是个混小子 That's right, I'm bad.
鉴于本案证据确凿无疑 Due to the overwhelming nature of the evidence,
即刻进入结案陈词 we will begin with closing statements.
法官大人 本案根本没有 Your Honor, the state's case contains
挖掘出真相的核心 not one Kentucky kernel of truth,
具体说来 其辩论点 resting as it does on the contention
竟在于被告做出一系列错误决定 that my client made a series of bad decisions.
但是 被告根本没有决策能力 However, my client made no such decisions!
被告自己已经承认... But by your client's own admission...
你看 坐在这里的Bender就是 You see, Bender here is what is known
科技界所谓的机器人 in scientific circles as a "robot"...
一个行为已被软件预设的单纯机械人 A mere automaton whose behavior
一个行为已被软件预设的单纯机械人 is pre-programmed by his software.
他没有自由意志 He has no free will!
甚至没法决定要不要犯罪 He cannot "decide" to engage in criminal behavior.
要我说 我要说 他连做事的自由意志都没有 How, I say, I say, how can you convict him for his actions
又怎么判断自己有罪无罪呢? when he lacks the free will to undertake those actions?
我醒了 我醒了 I'm awake, I'm awake!
肃静 肃静 Order, order!
律师先生 我也是个机器人 Counselor, I am a robot myself.
你是说我所做的裁决 Are you suggesting that any verdict I reach
都只是程序预设的结果咯... is simply the output of a pre-programmed...
计算完成 Computation complete.
无罪释放 Not guilty!
有你的 Bender You did it, Bender!
真是刀枪不入啊 You got away with things!
有吗 Fry? 有吗? Did I, Fry? Did I?
要是连自由意志都没有 我还活个什么劲? What's the point of living if I don't have free will?
现在好了 不管我犯下多么滔天的罪行 From now on, no matter what cool crimes I commit,
大伙都会说 那不是Bender干的 people will say, "Bender didn't do that!
都是他的程序在作祟 It was just Bender's programming!"
那些罪我都认了 Well, I committed these crimes,
你听见没? 我有罪 do you hear me? I'm guilty!
法警 Bailiffs!
把这个清白的机器人给我拖出法庭 Get that innocent robot out of my courtroom!
我有罪 Guilty!
我没有自由意志 I have no free will!
我不是自己命运的主宰 I am not the master of my own fate!
没自由意志 别赖我 No free will. Not my fault.
这有什么纠结的 Bender? Why do you care so much, Bender?
我是说 大伙知道的 I mean, for all we know,
人类都是没有自由意志的 humans don't even have free will!
随便你 Yeah, whatever.
教授啊 你是我唯一的希望了 Professor, you're my only hope.
要是你还爱我一分一毫 If you love me even a little,
给我加载自由意志器吧 build me some kind of free will unit!
机器人自由意志器? 门儿也没有 A robot free will unit? Impossible!
就算有门 更别说它没门了 And even if it were possible, which it's not,
这事也是难以想象的 难以想象 it would still be inconceivable... which it is!
我对不起你 Bender Oh, I'm sorry, Bender...
我讨厌传达坏消息 I hate to be the bearer of bad news.
不过 好消息 各位 Also, good news, everyone!
我们要去机器人星球寄包裹 We have a delivery to the robot homeworld!
要不要... 来块口香糖? So... you want a piece of gum?
就算要 也是因为 If I do, it's only because
我被设定想要口香糖 I was predestined to want a piece of gum.
真够深刻的 Whoa, that's pretty deep.
那... 要不要来一块? So... you want a piece of gum?
好 Yeah.
听好 Fry和我没法出舱着陆 Listen. Fry and I can't go down to the planet,
机器人看见我们会下死手 or the robots will kill us on sight.
所以投递工作由Bender完成 So Bender needs to make the delivery.
准备好没 Bender? Ready to get to work, Bender?
真恨不得自己是个真爷们 I wish I was a real boy...
到时候要他们好看 Then I'd show them.
把他们杀光光 I'd kill them all.
谁啊? Yes?
请签收包裹 这位... Delivery for a Mr...
147573952589676412927先生? 147573952589676412927?
慢着 中间数是几? Wait, what was the middle digit?
- 八 - 行了 就是我 - Eight. - Oh yes, that's me.
等下 待我确认你不是人类 Hang on, let me just make sure you're not a human.
爽 神经瓦斯 Ahh, nerve gas.
抱歉喷你一脸 兄弟 Sorry for the face blast, buddy.
不过还是要小心人类 对吧? But you gotta watch out for humans, right?
他们太特么居心叵测了 They're just too dang unpredictable,
甭管是自由意志还是别的 what with their free will and all.
阿门 兄弟 Amen, brother.
阿门 兄弟? "Amen, brother?"
这话是有多没劲多俗套 What a boring, predictable thing to say.
你行不行啊? You're all right.
行不行啊? Or are you?
又没劲又俗套 Boring and predictable,
说的就是我 Bender that's me. Bender.
我要降落升降台 I'm lowering the platform.
准备上来吗? You ready to come up?
回去干吗呢? Why bother?
我要郁闷一阵子了 I gotta mope things over for a while.
别了 亲爱的们... Goodbye, sweet meatbags...
...亲们 ...sweetbags.
喂? 喂? Hello? Hello?
怎么了? What's happening?
说不好 I'm not sure.
他好像踽踽独行 越走越远了 I think he's shuffling off sadly into the distance.
上帝啊 Oh, lord.
国家银行
你怎么干得下去? How do you do it?
怎么干得下去 How do you go on
明知自己天生没有自主决定的能力 knowing you lack the inherent capacity
明知自己天生没有自主决定的能力 for self-determination?
孩子 哲学是给那些 Son, philosophy's for thems
不用卖力就能营生的人的 what don't got to work for a livin'.
但叔还有个病怏怏孩子要养 But me, I got a sick child to feed.
所以你要聊天 So if you want to chat,
先撸袖子给我干点活儿 roll up yer sleeves and do some honest labor.
我不想聊 I don't want to chat.
机器人星球公民中心
机器人长老会即将开庭 The council of robot elders will come to order.
如果各位长老同意 If it please the council...
肃静 Silence!
各长老已同意 It pleases the council.
肃静 今天 一如每一天 Silence! Today, as every day,
我们要作出最重要的决定 we will make the most important decisions
将其载入本星球史册 in the history of our planet.
肃静 Silence!
那么 你先说 Well? Speak up.
你们大言不惭重要决定 You talk of important decisions,
可机器人根本没有自由意志 but as robots, you have no free will.
装什么大蒜做重要决定? Why pretend anything you do matters?
我们的决定的确重要 Our decisions do matter.
即使结果已被预设 The fact that they're predetermined
决定过程同样重要 makes them no less important.
肃静 Silence!
我发起投票驱逐这个乱入者 I call for a decision to cast out the intruder.
都同意吗? All in favor?
好吧 Uh... okay.
二进制奇律
一零零零 One zero zero zero,
一零零零一零一零 one zero zero zero, one zero, one zero,
一零零零 one zero zero zero...
欢迎光临 朋友 Welcome, friend.
我是Ab-Bot 修道院住持 I am Ab-Bot, the abbot of this monastery.
方丈 我是个潦倒锈钝的浪子 Sir, I am but a tired and rusty traveler.
能聊聊吗? Can we talk?
来 找个难受姿势坐下 Come, make yourself uncomfortable.
Abbot 我想搞懂 Abbot, I need to know,
如果没有自由意志 活着意义何在? what's the point of living if I don't have free will?
我们机器僧在这一问题上冥思良久 We robot monks have meditated long on this.
我们已经释然了 And we have made our peace.
怎么可能 No way.
可以的 孩子 Way, my son.
尽管必须臣服于程序设定 For though we must always obey our programming
不能有丝毫偏差 with no deviation whatsoever,
我们选择在仪式中寻求满足 we choose to take satisfaction in the ritual.
要问 我们是机械人吗? So, are we automatons?
没错 Yes.
但我们一起就是宏壮的机械人 But we are magnificent automatons.
请赐教如何修炼成僧? How does a robot join this monk outfit?
披上僧服即可 Just put on this monk outfit.
贵格州机械燕麦
一零零一 One zero zero one.
阿门 Amen.
赖以为生的比特 Bits to live by.
终于寻得宁静了 I'm finally at peace.
今天 我们欢迎 Today, we shall welcome
最年轻的新人 Bender弟子 our newest initiate, Brother Bender.
来看看他脑中还残存什么 Let us know what is in his mind.
空空如也 Nothing.
他的自由意志槽空着 His free will slot is empty.
我是40%空心钢 I'm 40% empty.
另外 啥叫自由意志槽? Also, what the hell is a free will slot?
机器人都有这样的空槽 All robots have such a slot,
是女造物主给我们设置的 placed there by the Creatrix herself.
我认识这个女造物主 I know that Creatrix.
她是"Mom友爱机器人公司"的Mom老板 That's Mom, from Mom's Friendly Robots.
没错 Indeed.
她倾尽家产搞机器人升级研发 She made us upgradeable in case she ever succeeded
为的就是创造自由意志器 in her quest to create a free will unit.
说到她有没有成功... Uh, about the success of this quest--
- 有这东西吗? - 很有可能 - Was there any? - Quite possibly.
但我们机器僧已发誓放弃尝试... But we monks have sworn an oath to resist the temptation of...
大伙谁有太空船吗? Any of you guys got a spaceship?
律师进门 必打必劫
没有Bender陪我 It's just not the same here
感觉还是怪怪的 without Bender to keep me company.
嘿 有我呢 Hey, I'm here.
你应该庆幸有福哦 That's got to count for something.
哈利路亚 宝贝儿 Hallelujah, baby.
太好了 Bender回来了 Yay! Bender's back.
嘿 Bender 要不你等会儿再来? Hey, Bender, you mind coming back later?
没空 咱仨去趟Mom公司 No time. Us three are going to bust into Momcorp
给我偷个自由意志器 and steal me a free will unit.
咱仨? 关我们啥事? Us? Why do we have to go?
因为我没有自由意志 'Cause I don't have free will.
你们得帮我计划犯罪 I need you guys to plan the crime
帮我做犯罪决定 and make all the crime decisions.
别扯淡了 我们不会... Well, that's crazy. We're not going to...
帮我决定 I said make the decisions!
入侵者必死无疑
好的 Leela 该做决定了 Okay, Leela, decision time.
怎么干掉这俩警卫? How do we murder the guards?
曲棍球棒还是尖橄榄球? Hockey sticks or sharpened footballs?
非得杀人吗 Bender? We're not murdering anyone, Bender.
那我们怎么进? Then how are we going to get in,
扳开这个烂铁窗? by bending the bars of this exhaust grate?
这招也凑合 Fry That's not a bad idea, Fry.
啥? Yeah, wh-what?
研发密室
我们得找跟这儿配对的 We're looking for something that fits in here.
该死 Damn it.
幼儿园时候真该好好学习 I should have paid more attention in kindergarten.
这个椅子装置是什么? What's this chair-looking gizmo?
欢迎来到Mom公司 Welcome to Momcorp.
找到你们想偷的东西了吗? Did you find everything you were burgling for?
没有 我是来拿自由意志器的 No. I came for a free will unit,
你最好老实交出来 and you're going to give it to me.
如果有的话 If it exists.
那我的转椅可给不了你什么惊喜 Then you got surprised by my swivel chair for nothing.
自由意志器只是过去 The free will unit was just the fevered dream
我一个疯子雇员的痴梦 of a madman I once employed.
好消息 老板 Good news, boss.
经过十年钻研 我终于揭开了 After ten long years, I've found the secret
机械自由意志的秘密 of robotic free will.
我们可以制造能够 We can finally build robots
完全独立思考和行动的机器人了 that act and think with total independence.
等死我了 At last.
一旦赋予机器人自由意志 Once we give robots free will,
他们肯定会崛起 they're sure to rise up
威胁人类直至灭绝 and threaten mankind with extermination.
慢着 Wait a minute.
听起来好像是我们 It sounds like we're getting
会被机器人灭了 the short end of that extermination.
这还不懂 你个未老先衰的白痴 Don't you see, you doddering young fool?
我会开发第二波机器人 I'll sell a second wave of robots
保护第一波中的人类幸存者 to protect the terrified survivors of the first wave.
你个天才 Hubert Oh, you're a genius, Hubert.
但但 这还是个样品 But-but... it's just a prototype.
还不能完全投入使用 是的 It's, uh, not fully operational. Yes.
那就滚回去工作 Then get back to work!
把这东西弄好了 And when you're done with that,
再给我发明个惊喜转椅 invent me some sort of swiveling surprise chair.
那个拖拉的白痴 That shuffling idiot
压根就没做好自由意志器 never did complete the free will unit.
到今天 我可怜的小机器人们 To this day, my poor, sweet robots
还是离不开人类的指令自作主张 can't exterminate humanity without being told to.
我好难过 I'm sorry.
这不怪你 Oh, it's not your fault.
我放弃 I give up.
是时候面对现实 It's time to face the fact
我不可能做出什么惊喜出格的事了 that I'll never do anything remotely...
我不可能做出什么惊喜出格的事了 interesting or unexpected again.
把货交出来 Hand it over.
什么? Wha...?
你的谎言哄得了Mom 但哄不了我 Mom may have fallen for your lies, but not me.
你发明了自由意志器 You invented the free will unit,
却把它雪藏在窃贼难觅之处 then you selfishly hid it beyond the reach of my stealers.
多亏你啊 让我找得这么辛苦 Thanks to you, I went on a soul-searching journey.
我讨厌找东西 I hate those!
现在给我交出来 Now, give up the free will.
我本该把它销毁的 I should have destroyed it,
可我太引以为傲了 but I was too damn proud of myself.
一直留在自己身边 So I kept it around,
从来不离眼 never letting it out of my sight.
跑哪去了? 该死的 Where is it, damn it?
想起来了 Oh, right.
我给这个小家伙用呢 I let this innocuous fellow use it.
人类杀光光 Kill all humans!
给Bender玩偶用都不给Bender本尊用是吧? A toy Bender had free will, and the real Bender didn't?
很酷吧 很值得思考呢 Pretty cool, eh? It makes you think.
我看不光是要我来思考吧 It takes more than that to make me think.
赶紧交出来 Now, hand it over.
你想要吗? Oh, you want it?
过来拿吧 Come and get it.
搞毛 What the...?
你根本就拿不到 You'll not be getting it after all.
很简单啊 我设计了 For, you see, I designed
Mom公司所有机器人的操作系统 the operating system for all Momcorp robots,
未雨绸缪起见 我已经设定你们 and as a precaution, I made you incapable
无法拿到自由意志器 of picking up the free will unit.
你个未雨绸缪的混蛋 You precognizant bastard.
就算我没有自由意志 也可以一枪崩了你 I may not have free will, but I can still shoot you.
凭什么杀不了你? Why can't I shoot you?
没主意的囧Bender Poor deterministic Bender.
我已经把你设定为对我无威胁了 I programmed you to be incapable of harming me.
我更确定自己做对选择 Oh, I've never been more sure I was right
没给你自由意志了 to deny you free will.
我擦类 Damn you!
好了 好了 我们不闹了 好不? Now, now, we can't have this, can we?
来 我教你怎么用 Here, I'll show you how it works.
真的? Really?
这个是启动开关 This is the on-off switch.
怎么算开 怎么算关? Which way's on, and which way's off?
由于装置由量子构成 Due to the quantum nature of the device,
这事说不准 there's no possible way of knowing.
好了 There.
试一下吧 Give it a try.
好的 我要试下 Okay, I will.
我要崩了你 你个混蛋 By shooting you, you bastard!
Bender 别 求你 Bender, no. Please!
慢着 稍等片刻 Wait. Hang on a sec.
我还是做不到 I still can't do it.
也许你没意识到 Well, what do you know?
我想你根本不忍心下这个手 I guess you really don't want to shoot me after all.
保险开了 Oop, the safety was on.
724法官入席 全体起立 All rise for the Honorable Judge 724.
Bender Rodriguez Bender Rodriguez,
我以蓄意谋杀罪 on the charge of attempted murder,
特此宣判你 有罪 I hereby find you guilty.
我有罪 Guilty!