翻译：叶水枫 版权所有，翻版必究 :)
横幅：周年庆快乐！
嘿，伙计们 Hey, guys.
欢迎参加我父母的结婚二十周年纪念派对 Welcome to my parents'40th anniversary party.
我无聊，我要喝酒 I'm bored. Let's drink.
横幅：40周年快乐！
哇哦，好多人啊 Wow, what a turnout.
真高兴看到这么多张笑脸 It's great to see so many happy smiles,
多数是在嘴巴变异人身上 most of them on mouth mutant.
这么说吧，整整40年 But let me just say, for 40 years,
我美丽的妻子Munda一直陪伴在我身边 my beautiful wife Munda has been by my side...
甚至那些年我一侧身子 Even that year my side mutated
变异成毒萝卜也不例外 into some kind of venomous radish.
Morris，我爱上的 And, Morris, I fell in love
是你的诚恳与谦虚 with your honesty and humility.
这些品质从没变异 And those things never mutated.
现在，请把注意力转向 Now, if you'll direct your attention
这个发霉的浴帘 to this moldy shower curtain,
我准备了一段视频礼物给这对夫妻 I've prepared a video tribute to the happy couple.
40年 Turanga家的爱情故事
在他们相伴的40年里 In their 40 years together,
我父母一起经历了许多 my parents have been through so much.
其实，也没那么多，因为直到去年 Well, not that much, actually, since mutants weren't allowed
当局一直不允许变异人离开下水道 to leave the sewers until last year.
谁想离开下水道啊，对不？ Like anyone wants to leave the sewer. Am I right?
嘘，Morris Shush, Morris.
那么，这一切是怎么开始的呢？ So, how did it all begin?
木牌子：布朗大学
这对不可思议的情人在布朗大学相遇 The unlikely lovebirds met at brown university.
她，一个有才华的元语言学专业学生 She, a brilliant exolinguistics major,
海报：蒂芙尼下面的早餐
他，一个懒散的下水道冲浪手，甚至不知道 he, a laid-back sewer surfer who didn't even know
元语言学是什么意思 the meaning of "exolinguistics".
我现在还是不知道 I still have no idea.
我跟你说了40年了 I've been telling you for 40 years,
这是研究外星人语言的专业 it's the study of alien languages.
你为什么不肯听 Why can't you listen?
哦，宝贝儿，我听的啊 Oh, sugar lump, I hear you
如果你说的是正经事的话 when you actually say something important.
但有时差异产生吸引力 But sometimes opposites attract,
木牌：已售
就像脸部变异人和屁股变异人的童话故事一样 and like the fairy tale of face mutant and butt mutant,
Munda和Morris的爱情与日俱增 the love of Munda and Morris has grown stronger every day.
门上木牌：刚结婚
正经事？ "Something important"?
元语言学是我的激情所在 Exolinguistics was my passion.
直到我放弃了它 Until I gave it up to go into
转入有利可图的炖煮领域 the lucrative pot-roast-making field.
炖烧 Pot-roast-burning.
我从来不明白你为什么研究那种外星垃圾 I never got why you studied that alien junk anyway.
我们在下水道里甚至看不到星星 We can't even see the stars down here in the sewer.
你为什么不能接受现实 Why can't you accept that?
我接受了。。。接受了40年！ I did accept it... for 40 years!
但现在我们可以自由的到上面去 But now we're free to go up there.
我本可以上太空看看我一直梦想的东西 I could be in space seeing things I've only dreamed about,
如果不是为了你！ if it weren't for you!
额，OK，各位，谢谢光临 Uh, okay, everybody, thanks for coming.
我也有过梦想！ I had dreams, too!
我本想在全世界的下水道旅行冲浪 I was going to surf the world's sewers,
但我很乐意为了你放弃，很乐意！ but I happily gave it up for you. Happily!
我只想有些高于生活的东西 I just want a little more out of life.
但是不，你不想去太空 But no, you don't want to go into space
因为你害怕 because you're too afraid.
我当然怕。你想去，那去啊 You bet I'm afraid. You want to go? Go!
去让你的脑袋被流星击穿吧 Get your head knocked off by a meteorite.
OK，你们都歇歇 Okay, take a deep breath.
你们这是爱的争吵 You're having a little lovers' quarrel,
我相信你们能够解决得... but I'm sure you'll work everything...
判决离婚 Divorce is final.
法官身后：下曼哈顿变异人法庭
别着急 Don't worry.
我只在这里暂住 I'm only going to stay with you
这层楼一有空房间我就搬过去 until a vacancy opens up on this floor.
你知道吗，秘鲁的房租低多了 You know, the rents are a lot more reasonable in Peru.
来嘛，Leela，我们出去玩 Come on, Leela, let's go out.
等了40年，我要去看看大千世界 After 40 years, I want to see the world.
管他呢 What the heck?
你想要出去？我们就豁出去了 You want to go out? Let's really go out.
跳啊，奴隶，跳啊 Dance, slave, dance.
George Takei：星际迷航演员，同性恋
我把两只手输给硼砂仔了 Well, I lost two straight hands to the borax kid.
我根本用不上这些 I don't really have any use for these,
但就是不还给你，女士们好 but you can't have them back. Ladies.
想想吧...我，一个下水道来的女孩 Imagine... me, a girl from the sewer
见到了一个完全由清洁剂做成的人 meeting a man made entirely of detergent.
快看那边 And look over there!
那是Zapp Brannigan，著名太空船长 It's Zapp Brannigan, the famous space captain.
嘿，我有个主意 Hey, I have an idea.
让我们看向另一个方向看点别的东西 Let's look in a different direction at something else.
你去吧，亲爱的 You go ahead, dear.
我要去看看Brannigan船长在跟Carcaron人做什么 I wonder what Captain Brannigan's doing with those Carcarons?
那么，关于和平条约，舰队Chu司令 Now, regarding this peace treaty, Admiral Chu.
那是餐巾纸盒，长官 That's a napkin dispenser, sir.
这才是宇宙翻译器 This is the universal translator.
随便吧 Whatever.
那么，司令，为了回报你承诺 Now, Admiral, in exchange for your promise
不攻击我们，我们愿意给你提供 not to attack us, we will grant you
斯科舍超新星独家捕鱼权 exclusive fishing rights in Supernova Scotia.
嗯，好吧 Well, okay.
很好 Excellent.
我们一个月后在我的飞船上 We'll meet aboard my ship in one month
签署“7号桌协议” to sign the treaty of table seven.
7号桌？ Table seven?
现在，瞧着，Kif，为了展现我的外交魅力 Now, watch, Kif, as I score a diplomatic Coop
我将用司令的母语向他道贺 by congratulating the Admiral in his native tongue.
上次你这样做的时候 Last time you tried that,
墨西哥餐厅向我们宣战了 the Mexican restaurant declared war on us.
我求你了，还是用翻译器吧 I beg you, just use the translator.
Kif，相信我一次吧 Kif, just trust me for once.
我要用一片大腊肠扇你的妹妹 I'd like to spank your sister with a slice of bologna.
哎哟 Oops.
这就是Paco's Tacos餐厅的重演 It's the battle of Paco's tacos all over again.
妈，你这是干什么 Mom, what are you doing?
干我最在行的事 What I was trained to do.
你跟他们说了什么？ What did you say to them?
额，说了Brannigan船长搞混了 Eh, just that Captain Brannigan confused the word
原意是“祝贺”的单词 for "congratulations" with the word for
和“用一片大腊肠扇你的妹妹” "spank your sister with bologna."
抗议得不错，女士 Nicely squawked, madam.
Leela，你从没提过你有个母亲 Leela, you never told me you had a mother.
我恳请你留下喝一杯作为感谢 I insist you stay for a courtesy thank-you drink.
嗯，这个钡酒不错 Mmm, good barium shots.
不过有点贵 Expensive, though.
只要我们在谈公事，我就可以公司报销 We can put it on the corporate card, as long as we discuss business.
那么，额，昨天，哈？ So, uh, yesterday, huh?
有公事发生了，对吧？ That business happened, right?
接话啊？ Somebody?
还是我付账吧 I'll just pay for it.
我们走吧 Well, we should get going.
你们看见我妈去哪了吗？ You guys see where my mom went?
我不知道她大部分在哪 I don't know where most of her is,
但她的舌头在Zapp的嘴里 but her tongue's in Zapp's mouth.
喔，性感 Whoo! Nasty.
妈，你还好吧？ Mom, are you okay?
书：恐龙的爱情故事
Zapp占你便宜了吗？ Did Zapp take advantage of you?
在这个干苹果娃娃上指出他摸你哪里了 Show me where he touched you on this dried-apple doll.
哦，别傻了 Oh, don't be silly.
Zapp是个完美的绅士 Zapp's a perfect gentleman.
而且还这么帅 And so handsome.
你知道他穿着一件天鹅绒男短裙吗？ Did you know he wears a velour man-skirt?
妈，我不想打断你 Mom, I hate to break it to you,
但Zapp是个混蛋 but Zapp's a jerk.
事实上... The truth is...
我跟他睡过...几次 I once slept with him...A few times.
我知道 I know.
他给我看了纪念油画 He showed me the commemorative painting.
- 什么？- 瞧，甜心，我知道的 - What?!- Look, sweetie, I get it.
因为Zapp现在喜欢我而不是你，你嫉妒了 You're jealous because Zapp likes me now and not you.
别担心，这不是个竞赛 But don't worry, this isn't a competition.
不过他确实说过我更会接吻 Although he did say I'm a better kisser.
我不是嫉妒 I am not jealous.
另外，恶心！ Also, yech!
Zapp根本不关心我妈妈 Zapp doesn't care about my mom.
他做这些只是为了接近我 He's just doing this to get to me.
别担心，Leela Don't worry, Leela.
你妈没法常见到Zapp Your mom won't see Zapp much.
他一直在太空里 He's in space all the time.
你猜怎么着，宝贝 Guess what, honey.
Zapp雇用我为他的私人翻译了 Zapp hired me as his personal translator.
我将一直跟他在一起...在太空里 I'll be with him all the time...In space.
什么？但是... What? But...
我从没这么开心过 I've never been so happy!
别挂，妈妈 Hang on, mom.
我还有另一通电话 I have another call.
你能来真好 Thank you for coming.
你知道吗，没了你妈妈 You know, without your mother,
下水道就是个潮湿凄凉的地方 the sewer's a dank and dismal place.
爸，我们该谈谈了 Dad, we need to talk.
妈妈她... Mom is...
她正在跟别人约会 Well, she's seeing someone else.
跟谁，嘴巴变异人吗？ Who is it, mouth mutant?
我要对着他那张大嘴来一拳 I ought to punch him right in his big mouth.
然后再对着所有小嘴各来一拳 And then in all his smaller mouths!
不，不，听着 No, no, listen.
是时候继续你自己的生活了 It's time to get on with your life.
但她就是我的全部 But she was my life.
啊 Aw.
什么？ What?
嘿，你的人生梦想呢？ Hey, what about your lifelong dream?
你不是想到全世界的下水道去旅行冲浪吗？ Didn't you always want to surf the world's greatest sewers?
是啊，Fry和Bender可以跟你一起去 Yeah, and Fry and Bender can go with you.
你可以教他们如何冲浪 You can teach them how to surf,
他们可以确保你不... and they can make sure you don't...
我不知道，你也来吗，甜心？ I don't know. Would you come, too, sweetie?
我不能 I can't.
我要盯着妈妈，确保她和Zapp不... I have to keep an eye on mom to make sure she and Zapp don't...
你猜怎么着？我要试一试 You know what? I'm going to give it a shot.
让我们去冲全世界最大的下水道浪潮 Let's go surf the great sewer waves of the world!
玫瑰碗体育场 中场休息时间
玫瑰碗体育场：每年举行美国新年美式足球赛
里约热内卢 狂欢节
都柏林 圣帕特里克节
你去哪了？ Where have you been?
什么？现在是下午2点 What? It's 2:00 in the afternoon.
你都出去好几天了 Several days later.
够了 Look, enough is enough.
Zapp是个混蛋 Zapp is a jerk.
我要求你跟他分手 I insist you break up with him.
你为什么就不能让我幸福 Why can't you just let me be happy?
这么多年来，我终于可以去我从没去过的地方 After all these years, I'm going places I've never been,
并且在那儿做爱 and having sex there.
你谈幸福太老了 You're too old to be happy.
我没老到不能和Zapp享受火辣性爱 I'm not too old to enjoy hot sex with Zapp.
和Zapp做爱！ Sex with Zapp!
和Zapp做爱！别说了！ Sex with Zapp!No, no!
现在，你不介意的话 Now, if you'll excuse me,
我不想再住在这儿了 I don't think I can live here anymore.
我将在明天8点准时来收拾我的东西 I'll be back for my things at 8:00 sharp.
和Zapp做爱！ Sex with Zapp!
这个对付大肠杆菌... This one is for the E. Coli...
这个对付leprechaunorrhea（？） And this one's for the leprechaunorrhea.
我不管Fry得了多少病 I don't care how many diseases Fry has.
全是值得的 It was worth it.
对极了，兄弟！ Right on, brah!
我像流浪汉一样自由 I feel free as a bum.
你怎么能这么冷静，爸爸？ How can you be so calm, dad?
你爱的女人已经走了 The woman you love is out there
和Zapp Brannigan享受生命去了 having the time of her life with Zapp Brannigan,
你却不做点什么去阻止他 and you're not doing anything to stop it.
冲浪让我平静，宝贝 Surfing helped me chill out, honey.
当你在下面踏浪的时候 When you're down there riding the waves,
风吹着你的脸 the wind ripening in your face,
一切都有意义了，伙计 everything just makes sense, dude.
你介意我叫你伙计吗，小公主？ You mind if I call you dude, princess?
瞧，我不想说你给脸不要脸 Look, I don't want to put a rat in your face-cage,
或者其它你们年轻人的说法 or whatever you kids say nowadays,
但Zapp是在利用我妈得到我 but Zapp's using mom to get to me,
我要证明这一点 and I'm going to prove it!
Kif，我无聊 Kif, I'm bored.
你到机翼上去怎么样 What say you go out on the wing
假装你是个小精灵 and pretend you're a gremlin?
哟，这不是我 Well, if it isn't
第二喜欢的Turanga家的女孩嘛 my second favorite Turanga girl.
嗨，Zapp，我在想你是否愿意 Hi, Zapp. I was wondering if you'd like
今晚和我还有我妈一起共进晚餐 to have dinner tonight with me and my mom.
你知道的，为了庆祝你对她真挚的爱 You know, to celebrate your genuine love for her.
听起来不错 Sounds good.
别忘了我对par-me-zian芝士的真挚的爱 And don't forget my genuine love for par-me-zian cheese.
那么我们约在7点58？ Shall we say about 7:58?
准确地？ Precisely?
很高兴见到你，Zapp Nice to see you, Zapp.
我也很高兴看到这么多你（的身体），Leela Well, nice to see a surprising amount of you, too, Leela.
Munda在吗？ Is Munda here?
妈妈不在家哦，大男孩 Mommy's not home, big boy.
我们都知道你是利用她得到我 We both know you're just using her to get to me.
那么我们就来做吧...就在7点59分在前门这儿 So let's do it... right here by the front door at 7:59.
Leela，你妈妈知道你用她的钢管吗 Leela, does your mother know you're using her pole?
来啊，我都是你的了 Come on, I'm all yours!
接下来的30秒内你尽情搞我吧 Have your way with me for the next 30 seconds.
虽然时间很充裕... That would be more than enough time...
但我不能，我爱Munda But I can't.I love Munda.
我爱她的全部 I love everything about her:
她的笑容，她的成熟 Her laugh, her maturity,
她触手摸我身体时那死一样的冰冷 the cold, lifeless touch of her tentacle on my body.
她真是个鱿物啊 She is one juicy calamari.
哦，Zapp Oh, Zapp...
我也爱你 I love you, too.
哦，小鱿鱿！ Oh, squiddums!
我已经考虑很久了，而且... I've been thinking about this for a while, and, well...
当着你半裸女儿的面 Here in front of your half-naked daughter
似乎是个好时机 seems like the perfect time.
亲爱的... Darling...
我可以嫁给你吗？ Will I marry you?
当然，我愿意，Zapp Of course, I'll marry you, Zapp.
我，额，觉得现在应该开房了 I, uh, think a motel room might be in order.
Leela，这是40美元 Leela, here's $40.
妈，别这么做 Mom, don't do this.
Zapp就是个自私又娘炮的白痴 Zapp is a selfish, womanizing idiot.
没必要用脏话骂我，Leela There's no need to call me names, Leela.
请叫我... Just call me...
爹地 "Daddy."
妈妈，如果你要嫁给Zapp Mom, if you try to marry Zapp,
我会把你推进一个肮脏的养老院 I will shove you into a filthy nursing home
快到你不知道是谁打了你 so fast you won't know what hit you.
很可能是个肮脏的护工 Probably, it'll be a filthy nurse.
Leela，你是我的女儿，我爱你，但死去吧 Leela, you're my daughter and I love you, but cram it!
来的不是时候？ Is this a bad time?
我正在乘着El Torito餐厅晚餐水流冲浪 I was riding the el torito dinner backwash,
我觉得我该来看看你 and I thought I'd pop in.
哦，谢天谢地你在这儿 Oh, thank God you're here.
如果我们不做点什么 If we don't do something,
妈妈就要嫁给Zapp Brannigan了 mom's going to marry Zapp Brannigan!
那又怎样？他看起来很不错 So? He seems like a nice kahuna.
爸爸，不要再这么看得开了 Dad, stop being so mellow.
Leela，宝贝，冷静 Leela, honey, chill out.
凡事都有正反面 You got to take the good with the gnarly.
说到这儿，我该去赶ihop餐厅的甜点浪了 Speaking of which, time for me to shoot the ihop dessert curl.
哦，你确定不去你妈妈的婚礼吗？ Oh, you sure you won't come to your mom's wedding?
那儿会有“鸡肉还是鱼肉，选一个” There'll be "chicken or fish, circle one."
我不能 I can't.
我全心全意相信着 Not when I believe with all my heart
这场婚姻是个错误 that this marriage is a mistake.
我知道你父母分手了你很伤心 I know you're upset that your parents broke up.
但如果Zapp真的能让Munda幸福呢？ But what if Zapp really does make Munda happy?
万一他们真的是天生一对呢？ What if they're meant to be together?
Fry，这说法真是太... Fry, that's just so...
真是难以置信... I can't even believe...
你实在是太... You are so totally...
对了 Right.
你说的对 You're right.
我说对了？呵 I am? Huh.
看样不只Zapp是个结婚的好料子 Maybe Zapp isn't the only one who's marriage material.
你再加把劲 You're getting there.
Leela？ Leela?
你真美，妈妈 You look beautiful, mom.
真的吗？ Really?
对于我这个年纪，我的吸盘是不是露的太多了 I'm not showing too much sucker for a lady my age?
不多不少正正好 Just the right amount.
你真是个可爱的新娘 You'll make a lovely bride.
哦，妈妈... Oh, mom...
我很抱歉对你那么坏 I'm sorry I've been so horrible to you.
啊，你没那么坏 Ah, you weren't so horrible.
只是表现了你对我的关心 Just enough to show you care.
放松，亲爱的 At ease, darling.
各位尊敬的来宾...以及Kif Honored guests...And Kif.
船长的众多超能力之一 One of a captain's many superpowers
就是有权利结合一场婚姻 is the ability to conduct marriage.
所以我将主持我自己的婚礼 So I will now join myself in holy macaroni.
Kif，举起礼仪用镜 Kif, raise the ceremonial mirror.
Zapp，你这个壮丽的混蛋 Zapp, you magnificent bastard,
你愿意娶Munda为你合法的... do you take Munda to be your lawful...
外星舰队接近中，长官 Alien ships approaching, sir.
是Carcaron人，哦，坏了 It's the Carcarons! Oh, meatballs.
我忘了他们是今天来签和平条约 I forgot they were coming to sign the peace treaty today.
女士们先生们，我和我美丽的翻译 Ladies and gentlemen, my blushing translator and I
有要事要办 have business to tend to.
与此同时 In the meantime,
请欣赏尼克松和Agnew的滑稽表演 enjoy the comic stylings of Nixon and Agnew.
哦，Agnew先生？ Oh, Mr. Agnew?
Munda，告诉司令 Munda, tell the Admiral
签了这个和平条约 that by signing this peace treaty,
我们两个世界就可以和谐共存 we will achieve harmony between our worlds.
Zapp，宝贝，这是错误的文件 Zapp, honey, this is the wrong document.
这不是和平条约 It's not a peace treaty.
它表示他们向我们宣战了 It says they're declaring war on us.
很聪明吧，不是吗？ Brilliant, isn't I?
他们签署的一刹那，我们就消灭他们的舰队 The moment they sign, we destroy their fleet
以一个爆发式的-引号反引号-自我防卫 in one glorious burst of quote-unquote "self-defense."
击个掌，Brannigan夫人 Up high, Mrs. Brannigan.
别让我干等着，Brannigan夫人 Don't leave me hanging, Mrs. Brannigan.
我来自下水道，都觉得这太下流了 I come from the sewer, but that is low.
我不会翻译你的谎言的 I'm not going to translate your lies.
Munda，亲爱的，作为你的船长和未来老公 Munda, dear, as your captain and soon-to-be husband,
我命令你 I gave you an order.
翻译这些邪恶的谎言 Now, let's tell these vicious lies
然后回去结下我们神圣的誓言 and get back to our sacred vows.
不会再有婚礼了 There's not going to be any wedding.
我不要你的华丽戒指 I don't want your fancy ring.
小心！那是玻璃的！ Careful! That's glass!
Leela说的对 Leela was right.
你是个差劲的男人和差劲的船长 You're a lousy man and a lousy captain.
我要告诉Carcaron人朋友真相 And I'm going to tell our Carcaron friends the truth.
Zapp...骗你们... Zapp... lying sack of...
这太尴尬了 Well, this is awkward.
Carcaron人朋友向我们宣战了 Our Carcaron friends declared war.
那么，又一次，我的谎言揭示了真相 Then, once again, my lies have been proven true.
我们被攻击了，婚礼取消 We're under attack and the wedding's off.
Kif，还击，并且退了蛋糕 Kif, return fire and the cake.
我们的武器失效 Our weapons are disabled,
而且冰淇淋蛋糕不能退货 and you can't return ice cream cakes!
我们完了 We're doomed!
腐烂物仓
停止婚礼！ Stop the wedding!
Morris？ Morris?
我不会一场架都不打就放弃我的妻子 I'm not giving up the love of my life without a fight.
我认识你吗？ Do I know you?
爸爸？ Dad?
我以为你对妈妈再婚很淡定 I thought you were all zen with mom getting remarried.
我本来是 I was at first.
但后来我克服了我的内在和平 But then I conquered my inner peace.
如果你关心什么，你就要采取行动 If you care about something, you've got to take action.
严厉的，暴力的行动 Harsh, violent action!
Kif，我们离开这儿 Kif, get us out of here.
导航瘫痪 Navigation is out.
我们就是锅里的鸭子 We're sitting ducks.
这里有辅助控制系统吗？ Is there an auxiliary control system?
有，在船壳外 Yes, outside on the hull.
但它有20个独立的控制按钮 But there are 20 separate control keys.
没人能操作得好到驾驭能量冲击波 No one could work them well enough to ride out these energy waves.
没人？ No one?
是时候露一手了！ It's time to hang 20!
Morris！ Morris!
你在干什么？托住下巴 What are you doing? Hold on to your coconuts.
辅助控制板
我们将要开始终生难遇的冲浪了 We're going for the ride of a lifetime!
我以为你害怕外太空 but I thought you were terrified of outer space.
我以前怕，后来我想通了 I was, but then it hit me.
如果天堂在我们上面 If heaven's above us,
那整个宇宙，就是上帝光辉的下水道 then the whole universe is just God's glorious sewer.
抓紧了，甜心！ Hang on, sweetie!
我们怎么办？ 我们该怪谁？ What do we do? Who do we blame?
我们不推脱责任！ We don't blame anyone.
我们和谈！ We make peace.
三个字就能结束这一切 One word can end this.
那你说啊 Then say it.
不，要你说 No, you say it.
和平条约
这份真正的和平条约在此生效 This actual peace treaty is hereby enacted.
Agnew，盖上批准章 Agnew, give it your stamp of approval.
你怎么说，可人儿？ What do you say, sewer plum?
愿意再给一次机会吗？ Want to give it another go?
反正我还穿着婚纱呢 Well, I am still in my wedding dress.
而且我们还有蛋糕 And we still have a cake.
额，半个蛋糕 Uh, half a cake.
很好 Very well.
Morris, Munda... Morris, Munda...
我在此宣布你们为夫妻 I now pronounce you man and wife.
我可以吻新娘了吗？ May I kiss the bride?
祝贺 Congratulations.
刚结婚