当送餐员来的时候 我说 我叫了泰国菜 And when the delivery guy came, I said, "I ordered Thai food,
但似乎我要吃墨西哥大餐了 but it looks like I'll be eating Mexican."
懂了吗 他是个墨西哥人 而我是个食人魔 Get it? He was Mexican, and I'm a cannibal.
行了 闭嘴吧 Please, shut up.
我试过阿特金美味了［即低碳水化合物饮食］ I tried the Atkins diet,
但有太多叫阿特金的人了 but there are only so many people named Atkins.
啊咪啊咪啊咪啊咪啊咪 Yum, yum, yum, yum.
为何你就不能 Why can't you be
乖乖的 做一个正常点的连环杀人犯 像小丑脸 a nice, normal serial killer like Ugly Face...
毒娘 ...Poison...
碎尸狂魔 - Mm... - Strangler...
或奸杀狂罗尼 噢 - or Rape and Kill Ronnie? - Aw!
我和其他人都不太像 Well, it's rare that I'm like others.
呃 Uh...
等一下 我是说 我喜欢半熟的 Wait. I meant to say, "I like others rare!"
啊啊啊 Aaah!
噢 不好了 奸杀狂罗尼 Oh, no! Rape and Kill Ronnie!
呃 Uh...
啊啊啊啊 Aaaaah!
你的早餐来了 Your breakfast is read...
早上好啊 古德曼先生 Morning, Goodmans.
早上好啊 警长 Morning, Sheriff.
早上好啊 Morning.
唔 警长 Um, Sheriff?
嗯 怎么了 Uh, yeah?
腌黄瓜先生 我正要找他 Oh, Mr. Pickles, just the person I came to see.
我可以用它灵敏嗅觉 See, I could use his sniffing skills
来破今天的大案子 for a classified case today.
你不应该把那恶魔带到任何地方去 You shouldn't take that evil dog anywher...
噢 爸爸 不要讲了 Oh, Dad, stop it.
你觉得怎么样 What do you say, boy?
你想要做一条警犬吗? You want to be a K-9 dog?
腌黄瓜先生肯定愿意啊 Mr. Pickles sure is excited!
哦 Oh!
下去 坏孩子 Down, boy!
对了 我们长话短说吧 Okay, we don't have much time to talk, so I'll make this quick.
今天早上 四个连环杀人犯 This morning, four serial killers
干掉了警卫和司机 killed their guard and bus driver
丢掉狱服 逃到了老镇 and then discarded these prison suits and escaped into Old Town.
好好闻闻这个吧 我们需要找到 Now get a good sniff, boy, 'cause we need to find
小丑脸 毒娘 碎尸狂魔 还有食人魔 Ugly Face, Poison, the Strangler, and the Cannibal.
影印机墨有点不够 但是他们长这个样子 My copy machine was low on ink, but this is what they look like.
来 穿上这个背心 Here, put on this K-9 vest.
首先 去看看我的线人 卡尔 First stop, going to see my boy, Carl.
卡尔总是知道点街上发生的事儿 Carl always knows what's going down on the street.
嘿 最近怎么样 卡尔 Hey, what's up, Carl?
今天有没有看到什么可疑人物啊 You noticed anybody suspicious today?
－没有 －好的 拜拜 - Nope. - Okay, bye.
－噢 －呃 - Oh! - Huh?
有人偷了我一包野莓口香糖 Somebody stole a pack of my Wild Berry Gum.
噢 糟透了 卡尔 Oh, that's terrible, Carl!
不用担心 我会盯着点的 Don't you worry. I'll keep a look out, man.
噢 我可以拿贵宾休息室的钥匙吗 Oh, can I get the key to the V.I.P. Lounge?
给你 Okay.
卡尔真是个傻子 Carl's a nut.
我要自个儿去撒个尿 I go pee-pee by myself.
哦 Oh!
啊啊啊 Aaaah!
啊 Oh!
发生了什么事 What happened?
我刚才在干嘛 What was I doing?
哦 对了 Oh, right.
捉口香糖小贼 Catching a gum thief!
唔 Hmm.
唔 Mmm.
唔 Hm.
以前都是拿狗当祭品 Ancient cultures often sacrificed dogs
去填满众神的胃口 to appease the appetites of the gods.
要我说吧 有更好吃的 But if you ask me, there were far more appetizing
天然食物最好吃了 native dishes available.
我带你去逛逛吧 Could I show you around?
你可以尽享视觉盛宴 There are some real feasts for the eyes here.
可以 Sure.
您先请 After you.
之后 你的眼睛就是我的盛宴 And later, I'll feast on your eyes.
啦啦啦啦啦啦 Lub-lub-lub-lub-lub-lub.
好吃好吃好吃好吃 Yum, yum, yum, yum.
你不来吗 Are you coming?
来了 Coming!
下一位 Next.
现在看一下你有没有吃过口香糖 Now, let's see if you've been chewing any gum.
张开嘴 Open up.
啊 Ahhh.
真臭 下一位 Stinky! Next.
兄弟 把嘴张开 And, folks, please have your mouths open and ready.
呃 Huh?
啊啊啊 Aaaah!
噢 Oh!
啊啊啊 Aaaaah!
你叫什么名字啊? What's your name?!
小丑脸 Ugly Face!
你应该叫做小可爱脸 Your name should be cutey-face!
帅哥 来一发 Bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-bla.
啊啊啊 Aaaah!
嘿 你去哪 Hey, where you going?!
小可爱脸 Cutey Face?!
你去哪儿啦 啊啊啊 Where'd you go?! Aah! Aah! Aah!
真是太有趣了 That was really fun.
我们继续边走边聊吧 Shall we continue this chat over a walk?
嗯 好 Uh, sure.
不过你可要注意啦 But a word of warning.
我们分别的时候 你会被我耗干［双关 当我吃掉你 你就会被排泄］ After I'm done with you, you'll be pooped.
啊咪啊咪啊咪啊咪 Num-num-num-num-num-num.
耗干你［双关 排泄你］ Pooped.
咻咻咻 啊咪啊咪啊咪 Blu-blu-blu-blu-blu. Yum, yum, yum, yum!
唔唔唔 啦啦啦 Um-num-num-num-num. Bla-la-la-la-la-la.
你太有趣了 You're pretty funny.
我要耗干你 I'm gonna poop you.
我是口香糖小贼 I'm a gum thief.
我应该去哪儿呢 Where do I go?
我应该去小贼去的地方 因为我是口香糖小贼 I go where the gum thieves go because I'm a gum thief.
噢 原谅我吧 夫人 Oh, pardon me, ma'am.
嘿 B先生 Hey, Mr. B.
兄弟 有人偷了卡尔一包野莓口香糖 Man, somebody stole a pack of Carl's Wild Berry Gum.
嗯 Hmm.
我们走吧 Shall we?
好 Mm.
好吧 再见 All right, peace out.
我现在在哪呢 Now where was it?
嘿 腌黄瓜先生 Oh, hey, Mr. Pickles.
我在像一片口香糖思考 I'm trying to think like a piece of gum.
人会把吃过的口香糖 Where would somebody put
放去哪里呢 just a chewed up piece of gum like me?
噢 在凳子下面 Oh! Under a bench!
我们快要破案啦 We're getting close.
请自便 Make yourself...
怎么舒服怎么来 comfortable.
哇噢 Whoo-hoo!
这辆马车太棒了 This carriage is da bomb, baby!
哇 Ow!
亲爱的 给我来点喝的吧 Honey, can I get a drink?
喔 Ooh!
给 Snap.
你转个身怎么样 How about you turn around,
我会脱光光等你 and I'll slip into nothing more comfortable?
再好不过 Damn right.
要上了 Gonna get some, boy.
没错 你会上西天的 You gonna get it, all right.
呃 Uh...
你去哪了 Hey, where'd you go?
陈年口香糖 Old. Old.
我需要一些证据 新鲜的证据 I need some evidence, something fresh.
唔嗯 Mmm!
还是陈旧的 But old.
兄弟 可把我累坏了 Boy, I'm really worn out.
-这边 -我一定变得更老了 -This way. -I must be getting old.
我觉得你正当年 I think of you as well-seasoned.
呃 啊 Uh, uh...
你很惹人爱 真想生吞了你 I could just eat you up.
巴拉巴拉巴拉 咪呀咪呀咪呀 Bla-bla-bla-bla-bla. Num-num-num-num-num.
噢 Oh!
说真的 我会的 In fact, I will.
你太搞笑了 You're hilarious!
说真的 你想和我的家人共进晚餐吗 Say, would you like to come have dinner with my family?
家庭聚餐 Family dinner?
巴拉巴拉巴拉 咪呀咪呀咪呀 Bla-bla-bla-bla, yum, yum, yum, yum!
巴拉巴拉巴拉 咪呀咪呀咪呀 Num-num-num-num-num, yum, yum, yum.
巴拉巴拉巴拉 咪呀咪呀咪呀 Bla-bla-bla-bla. Num-num-num-num-num.
好味好味好味 Yummy, yummy, yummy, yum!
我愿意 Sounds good.
嗯 绿薄荷 Mmm, spearmint.
我喜欢 I like spearmint.
绿薄荷味的才是好口香糖 Spearmint is a good kind of gum.
但这也是陈的 也不是野莓味的 But it's old, and it's not Wild Berry.
那么 So...
我猜我有发现了些小块的口香糖 Guess I'll have a little more gum!
新鲜的口香糖 Hey! Fresh gum!
你是口香糖小贼 You must be the gum thief!
哇哦 Uh-oh!
站住 口香糖小贼 Stop right there, gum thief!
喂 回来 Hey, get back here!
哈 Huh?
滚开 条子犬 Move, cop dog!
口香糖小贼 哪里逃 Gum thief! Where are you?!
哇哦 Whoa!
你不是口香糖小贼 You're not a gum thief!
你是食人魔 You're a cannibal!
什么 不 -就是你 -What, no! -Oh, that's right!
我应该抓住了一个连环杀人犯 I was supposed to catch serial killers.
看 他们被食人魔吃了 And, look, they're all being eaten by the Cannibal.
但我只是个口香糖小贼 But I'm just a gum thief!
杀人犯都这样说 That's what they all say.
来吧 好伙计 不许动 食人魔 Come on, boy. Stay put, Cannibal.
尽量别把自己吃了 好吗 Try not to eat yourself, okay?
晚上好 大家伙 Evening, Goodmans.
你好啊 警长 这是爸爸的新朋友 Hi, Sheriff. This is Dad's new friend.
你好 警长 Hello, Sheriff.
-噢 -嘿 别这样 - Oh. - Hey, stop that!
小家伙 今天和警长在一起怎么样 How was you day with the sheriff, boy?
他做很好 给他一根腌黄瓜吧 He did pretty good. Give him a pickle.
但是 你要知道 事实上 But, you know, the thing is,
口香糖小贼依旧逍遥法外 there's still a gum thief on the loose.
你能想象有人会吃别人的口香糖吗 Can you imagine somebody chewing another man's gum?
我吃过很多人的口香糖［gum也有牙龈的意思］ I've chewed the gums of many people.
噢 你吃过野莓味的吗 Oh! Have you ever had Wild Berry?
我吃过一次野妹 两次乖妹 I've had a wild Barry and two subdued Barrys.
警长 你愿意留下来吃晚饭吗 Sheriff, would you like to stay for dinner?
好哇 Yes.
哇哦 我真是个洒蛋 Whoa! I'm such a silly spilly.
我也是 哎呦 Me too. Whoops!
那么 新来的 对吗 So, new to town, huh?
没错 我惯于品味老镇 Yes. I've acquired a taste for Old Town.
那么你暂会留下 So you might stick around?
不会那么快收拾走人喽 Not gonna pack it in soon, huh?
是啊 啊 Uh-huh... huh?
好了 我实话告诉你吧 All right? I'll be honest with you.
我们今天很愉快 We really had some nice weather today.
嗯哈 Uh-huh.
嗯 Mmm.
哎呀 我把肉汁洒在了身上 Whoops! I spilled gravy on me.
哼 Mmm!
有件疯狂的事 Here's a crazy thing.
我刚才把毯子弄得一尘不染 I went to dust the mantle earlier, no dust.
嗯 Hmm!
你还没碰过你的食物 You haven't touched your food.
什么东西让你不想吃 Something spoil your appetite?
难说 Hardly.
妈妈总是说张嘴嚼东西很粗鲁 Mama always said it's rude to chew with your mouth open.
我有空愿意和你妈闲聊 嚼一嚼她的肥肉 Well, I'd love to chew the fat with her some time.
我已经说到 ‘嚼’了 I already said "Chew."
真的吗 Chew did?
还是嚼起来很糟 Isn't that just chew bad?
噢 这个家伙讲起笑话来真是一把好手 Oh, this guy's a hoot, huh?
你最好管住你的嘴 小家伙 You better watch your tongue, buddy boy.
我更愿意用嘴来结束今晚的大餐 I'd rather use my tongue to finish eating tonight's meal!
哈 Huh?!
野莓口香糖 Wild Berry Gum!
抓住你了 Got you!
你被捕了 口香糖小贼 You're under arrest, gum thief!
-口香糖小贼 -你被我牢牢抓住了 - Gum thief? - You're gumming with me.
别逼我动枪 And don't make me pull my gum.
噢 发生什么了 Oh, what's happening?
噢 我说 动枪 因为听起来像口腔糖 你懂了吗 Oh, I say, "Pull my gum" Because it sounds like gun, you know?
如果你认为你要出去吃人 Yep, if you think you're gonna eat somebody
或者在老镇上偷口香糖 你最好再仔细想想 or steal gum in Old Town, you better think again,
因为没有什么我抓不住的罪犯 'cause nothing gets by me.
嘿 我爱这首歌 Hey! I love this song!
哈 Huh?!
我最后没有死于孤独终老 Well, at least I won't be die-ning alone.
你在这儿 小狗狗 Oh, here you go, doggie.
主人 Mister...
-你好 威尔 -你好 大卫 - Hi, Will. - Hi, Dave.