不 我告诉你 我不介意父亲节的时候工作 No, I'm telling you, I don't mind working father's day!
我讨厌我的小孩 I hate my kids!
和他们呆在一起简直和呆在监狱没两样 It's like I'm a prisoner when I'm around them!
－哦哦 －嘿 贱货 想要 - Oh, oh. - Hey, slut, how'd you like
尝一口爹地的大电钻吗 嘿 daddy to jackhammer you?! Hey!
嘿 宝贝 我 想要 嗯 Hey, baby, I... want to, um,
闻你的腋下 我指的是 拉屎 我指的是 我想要 smell your armpits... I mean, make poop... I mean, I want to
亲热 不好意思 －嘿 我的电钻去哪里了 - make out... sorry! - Hey, where did my jackhammer go?!
嗯 Huh?
啊 救命 Aah! Help!
他把我们囚禁在这个洞里 啊 He's been keeping us prisoner done here. Aah!
腌黄瓜先生 Mr. Pickles!
派要好了 －嗯 真讨厌 Pie's almost ready! - Well, that stinks!
嗯 －老板想要我 Oh? - The boss wants me to
今天去上班 －但是今天是父亲节啊 - come in to work today. - But it's father's day!
你不想吃你最喜欢的 樱桃派吗 Don't you want your favorite... cherry pie?!
我们等下吃吧 汤米 －父亲节快 We'll have it later, Tommy. - happy father's d...
腌黄瓜先生就是个恶魔 Mr. Pickles is evil!
我看见过他把人拽进他的狗屋里面去 I've seen him drag people into his doghouse!
哦 不可能的 －我说的是实话 Oh, it can't be! - It's true!
－他把他们关在那里 －派不见了 - He keeps prisoners in there! - The pie is gone!
什么 哦 不 What?! - Oh, no!
偷派贼 嗯 我要出门工作了 亲亲 A pie thief? Well, I'm off to work! Mwah!
或许我和腌黄瓜先生可以找到那个偷派贼 Maybe me and Mr. Pickles could find the pie thief!
警长 发生了件恶性犯罪 Sheriff, there's a horrific crime!
－哦 坐下来 腌黄瓜先生 - Oh, down, Mr. Pickles!
爸爸 让他这样吧 他只是只狗 Dad, leave him alone! He's just a dog!
快点来就对了 警长 Just come quick, sheriff!
好样的 哦 腌黄瓜先生 Good boy! Oh, Mr. Pickles.
你说的对 狗狗 派屑 You're right, boy... crumbs!
偷派贼一定就在附近 The pie thief must be close!
哇 这是什么 Whoa, what's this?
大脚怪 Bigfoot.
哈喽 有人在吗 －父亲节快乐 古德曼 Hello? Anybody here? - Happy father's day, Goodman!
为什么就我一个人来了 Why am I the only one here?
我也在 我整个周末都被卡在这里 I'm here! I've been stuck here all weekend!
哦 嘿 弗洛伊德 －我好几年没看到我爸爸了 Oh, hi, Floyd. - I haven't seen my father in years!
所以今天 我们要做 So, today, we're gonna do all
所有父子间会做的事情 the things that fathers and sons do together.
呃 但是我更愿意今天陪我儿子过 Uh, but I'd rather spend the day with my son.
我更愿意花一整天吃黄油饼干 I'd rather spend the day with these butter cookies!
你还想要晋升机会 对吧 You still want that promotion, don't you?
呃 所以你想要让我扮你父亲 Uh, you want me to act like your father?
不 不 不 不 不 我想要你扮我儿子 No, no, no, no, no. I want you to act like my son.
嘿 大脚怪 你偷了我的派 我要告诉别人 Hey, bigfoot, you stole the pie! I'm telling!
祝你好运 小子 Good luck with that, kid.
没人会相信你说的话的 Ain't nobody gonna believe you saw bigfoot.
嗯 为什么 Well, why not?
好吧 好吧 让我解释一下 我本名叫做维诺 皮萨瑞里 Okay, okay, let me explain. I was born Vito Pizzarelli.
早些年的时候 我为黑手党工作 Early on, I went to work for the wise guys...
－嘿 帮他们买三明治 - Hey! - ...getting them sandwiches...
－哦 报纸 香烟 - Oh! - ...newspapers, cigarettes,
那类东西 最后 我变成 that type of a thing. Eventually, I became one of the
帮派里大名鼎鼎的杀手 －嗯 - mob's most feared hit men. - Huh?!
现在我 ♪ Now I... ♪
但是有一天 我被逮了 But one day, the feds caught up with me.
他们强迫我供出了整个腌火腿帮派 They forced me to rat on the entire Gabagoolie criminal
他们把我加入证人保护计划 organization, and the feds put me in the
他们延展了我的额头 witness protection program. They extended my forehead,
我的脚 我的腿 在我的皮肤上植毛 my feet, legs... Plugged hair follicles into my
于是我就变成了传说中的大脚怪 skin, and I became the mythical creature known as "Bigfoot" And
并且终止了我的犯罪生涯 ended my life of crime.
所以 正如我所说 祝你好运 So, like I said, good luck with that.
没人会相信你见到大脚怪的 No one's ever gonna believe you saw bigfoot.
这就是为什么 That's why it's the perfect
这是证人保护计划的绝佳身份 identity for the witness protection program.
但是那是我爸爸的父亲节派 But that was my dad's father's day pie!
哦 哦 Oh! Oops!
就快捡到了 哦 不 Almost! I got it! Uh, no.
哦 老天 不然你和我给你爸爸做一个新派怎么样 Ah, geez! How's about you and me make your dad a new pie?
哦 小子 Oh, boy!
但是有一个条件 But on one condition. That stuff I told you about my
我告诉你我的真名是维诺 皮萨瑞里的事 real name being Vito Pizzarelli...
什么 忘记它 Yeah? - ...forget about it!
说真的 忘记它 他们会杀了我们的 Seriously, forget about it. They will murder us both.
我跟你说 腌黄瓜先生在他的狗屋里关着人 I'm telling you, Mr. Pickles has prisoners in his doghouse!
我可以听见他们的声音 I can hear them in there!
爸爸 别这样 Dad, please! Before you launch into another
在你说另一个癫狂故事之前 父亲节快乐 crazy story, happy father's day.
哦 我们之前明明很有乐趣的 我告诉你 Oh, we used to have such fun! I'll tell you what.
我保证今天不再提腌黄瓜先生的名字 I promise not to mention Mr. Pickles for the rest of the day.
敲门 敲门 Knock, knock!
现在 你想要和我说什么犯罪事情 嗯 Now, what's this crime you needed to tell me about, huh?
呃 呃 有人偷了一个 派 Uh... Uh, somebody stole a... pie?
偷派贼 嗯 前二十四小时 A pie thief?! Well, the first 24 hours are the
最重要了 我这就处理 走了了了了 most important! I'm on it! Wheeeeeeee!
我还在这儿 晚点见 再见 I'm still here! See ya. Bye!
嗯 这是你的父亲节贺卡 爸爸 Well, here's your father's day card... dad.
看上去你花了很多心思在上面 Looks like you put a lot of work into this.
－可惜这只是一堆垃圾 －什么 - Too bad it's garbage! - What?
你是个烂儿子 我希望你从没出生过 You're a lousy son! I wish you were never born!
我还希望我生下来就有三只手呢 And I wish I was born with three arms.
全速前进 ♪ Full speed ahead ♪
直走 嘿 你们好啊 伙计 ♪ This is straight from the... ♪ Hey, now, players!
哦 耶 好的 呆在这里 小子 Oh, yeah! Okay, stay here, kid.
－我负责购物 你负责放风 - I'll do the shopping. You're the lookout.
－好的 大脚怪 - Okay, bigfoot!
如果大家听我的话 就不会有人受伤 Everybody listen up, and nobody gets hurt!
－大脚怪 －矮女士 给我一条黄油 - Bigfoot! - Short lady, get me a stick of butter!
肥男士 鸡蛋 四眼仔 一磅面粉 Fat man... eggs! Glasses... pound of flour!
嗨 琳达 －现在 你就洗好澡了 Hi, Linda! - You're all done with your bath now!
嘿 汤米 这是小琳达 Hey, Tommy! This is Linda Jr.!
我是汤米 这是腌黄瓜先生 I'm Tommy, and this is Mr. Pickles.
为什么你要叫他 腌黄瓜先生 Why do you call him "Mr. Pickles"?
因为他喜欢腌黄瓜 'Cause he loves Pickles,
他表现得好的话就可以吃一次 and he gets one every time he's a good boy!
你们在附近有见到一个偷派贼吗 Y'all seen a pie thief around here?
－警长提供奖赏给提供信息的人 －是大脚怪 - Sheriff's offering a reward. - It was bigfoot!
大家都知道大脚怪不存在 Everybody know bigfoot don't exist!
－再说 偷派贼长这样 - Besides, the pie thief looks like this!
－哦 我知道那是谁 - Oh, I know who that is!
－谁 妈妈 －是你爸爸 - Who, mama? - That's your daddy!
－走吧 大脚怪 －我知道你在想什么 - Here you go, bigfoot! - I know what you're thinking.
奶油雪利酒 嗯 它赋予樱桃派 Cream Sherry? Well, it gives cherry pie just
恰到好处的 美味 the right amount of mwah!
啊 这是你的窥淫癖录像带 Aah! Here's your voyeur tape!
嘿 别想闯进去 Hey, stop trying to break in here!
狗不准进入 哦 There's no dogs allow... ow!
啊 哈 Aah! Huh?!
那狗又想要闯进来了 That dog's trying to break in again!
他在这里 啊 There he is! Aah!
现在 如果你在想 你可以告诉别人你见过我 Now, if you're thinking you can tell people you've seen me,
祝你好运 没人会相信你的 good luck with that. Nobody will believe you.
哦 还有一件事 Oh, one more thing!
－我欠你多少钱 - How much do I owe you?
走吧 腌黄瓜先生 Come on, Mr. Pickles!
终于有东西可以写博客了 Finally, something to blog about!
笑死我了 有个在老城的人 LMAO! Someone down in old town posted
发了一条博说 他看见大脚怪在杂货店采购樱桃派的材料 he'd seen a bigfoot in a grocery store buying cherry-pie
还包括奶油雪利酒 ingredients, including cream sherry!
啊 真是个傻瓜 大脚怪不存在 Ah, what an idiot. Bigfoot don't exist.
但是奶油雪利酒不是维诺 皮萨瑞里的独门秘方吗 But wasn't cream sherry Vito Pizzarellis special ingredient?
所以 So?
做个假设 为了削弱的证言的可靠性 Suppose, in order to undermine the credibility of any
他们给泄密者 sighting of a protected witness, the feds gave snitches new
半人马或者美人鱼之类的神话生物作为新的身份 identities as mythical creatures such as a centaur or a mermaid.
不 不 美人鱼是真的 我在河里面看见过一只 No, no, mermaids is real. I seent one in a river.
神话生物应该是宇宙加布林或者奶酪人之类的 Mythical creatures is more like space goblins or the cheese man!
－或者独角兽 －哦 还有人看见 - Or a unicorn. - Hey, some people was also
那间杂货店里面发生了惨绝人寰的凶杀案 brutally murdered at the same grocery store!
是维诺 皮萨瑞里 It's Vito Pizzarelli!
这样真好 爸爸 This is really nice, dad.
我好久没有这么开心了 呃 I haven't enjoyed myself this much since... Uh...
救命 别说 Help! Shh!
爸爸 －呃 你有四吗 Dad? - Uh, do you have any fours?
还有一次 And another time, my
我爸爸教我怎么钓鱼 还有一次 我爸爸 dad showed me how to fish, and another time, my dad showed me
告诉我乌龟是什么 - what a turtle was!
还有一次 －嗯 嗯 小子 And another time... - Yeah, yeah, kid.
－看上去派烤好了 －哇 它看上去 - Looks like the pie's done. - Wow, it looks just
就像我妈妈烤的一样 －嗯 告诉我大家的反馈 - like mom's pie! - Well, let me know how it goes.
－当大脚怪挺寂寞的 - It gets lonely out here being bigfoot.
你又没接住 儿子 You dropped another one, son!
现在 你想要和我说什么 Now, what did you want to say to me?!
－说出来 －我 - Say it! - I'm...
－说出来 －我很开心 - You say it! - I'm so happy to
和你一起过父亲节 －现在带我去餐厅 - spend father's day with you. - Now take me to the diner!
哦 别这样 爸爸似乎不想 Oh, come on, boy. Dad doesn't really want to spend
和我一起过父亲节 father's day with me.
－哦 好棒 －嘿 又见面了 大脚怪 - Oh, yeah! - Hi, again, bigfoot!
汤米 你在干什么 呆在那里 Tommy, what are you doing?! Stay over there!
但是我给爸爸带了派 他正和 But I brought my dad his pie, and he was having
别人过父亲节 father's day with someone else!
好吧 我有个新计划 走吧 All right, I got a new plan. Beat it, toots.
给你自己买些浆果 Get yourself some berries.
你和我 ♪ You and I ♪
我和你 我我我我我我们 ♪ I and you ♪ ♪ u-u-u-u-u-u-us ♪
甜心 你还是唱得那么好 You still got it, sweetheart!
嗯 那是因为你教的好 Well, I learned from the best.
现在 我给你买些冰淇淋怎么样 Now, how about I go buy you some ice cream?
哦 谢谢你 这是我过的最好的一个父亲节了 Oh, thank you! This is the best father's day since...
救命 救救我 我被一只邪恶的狗 Help! Help me! I've been held prisoner by an
囚禁住了 －那代表你可以佐证我说的话 - evil dog! - That makes you a witness!
啊 是你的狗 Aah! It's your dog!
－走开 －等等 - Get away! - Wait!
啊 为什么你要那么做 啊 为什么你要那么做 儿子 Ugh! Why'd you do that, huh?! Why'd you do that, son?!
什么 我会处理的 What the... - I'll take care of it.
不 我儿子干了坏事 他要用他的嘴巴 No, my boy made a mess, and he's gonna clean it up... with
清理干净 －不 我不会做的 - his mouth. - No, I won't do it!
－清理 清理 －我不会做的 - Do it. Do it. - I won't!
别对你父亲回嘴 Don't talk back to your father!
－吃了它 要不然就炒你鱿鱼 －哦 只是吃吗 - Eat it, or you're fired! - Oh, just eat it?
－嗯 我觉得我可以的 －现在 小子 - Yeah, I guess I could. - Now, kid, I want you to go in
我想要你走进去 用这个派砸他的脸 there and hit him in the face with this pie.
但是我爱我爸爸 －有时候为了要提醒别人 But I love my dad! - Sometimes, in order to remind
他们有多爱你 你必须要伤害他们 狠狠地伤害他们 someone how much they love you, you must hurt them... badly.
现在去吧 Now go.
－不 不 腌火腿党 －爸爸 - Oh, no... the Gabagoolies! - Dad?
哦 汤米 呃 Oh, Tommy! Uh...
我知道你不想和我一起过父亲节 I know you didn't want to spend father's day with me,
但是我还是觉得你是世上最好的爸爸 but I still think you're the best dad in the whole world!
－不 他不是 我才是 －老板 你可以 - No, he's not! I am! - Boss, you can take
炒我鱿鱼 用工作塞进你的屁 －等等 小子 - my job and shove it up your a... - Hold it, kid!
－你从那里拿来的这个派 嗯 －你不会相信 - Where'd you get that pie, huh?! - You wouldn't believe
我说的话的 －哦 真的吗 聪明的家伙 说说看 - me if I told you! - Oh, yeah, wise guy? Try me!
－要不然我就一枪崩了你 －汤米 小心 - Or I blow your brains out! - Tommy, watch out!
－别中弹 －我会告诉你我从哪里来的派 - Don't get shot! - I'll tell you where he got
－嗯 - the pie. - Huh?!
－从大脚怪那里来的 －维诺 皮萨瑞里 - From bigfoot! - Vito Pizzarelli!
替我向那只鹿告别 －我是蓝色的 〔我很忧郁〕 Tell the deer I said goodbye. - ♪ I am blue ♪
我很开心我们一起过了 I'm so glad we got to spend some time together on
父亲节 爸爸 －嗯 嗯 嗯 - father's day, dad! - Yeah, yeah, yeah,
－汤米 我也是 －很高兴和我 - Tommy, me too! - It's so great to spend the
儿子和孙子共度了美好的一天 －嗯 - day with my son and my grandson! - Huh?!
腌黄瓜先生在哪里 －我抱着你的方式 Where's Mr. Pickles?! - ♪ the way that I held you ♪
我见过大风大浪 狗狗 但是 I've seen a lot of things, dog, but ain't nobody gonna
说了这件事绝对没人会相信 believe me when I tell them about this.
救命 有人救命吗 不 Help! Someone help! No!
哈 Huh?!
－祝你好运 －等等 - Good luck with that! - Wait!
我们可以一起揭发腌黄瓜先生 We can expose Mr. Pickles together!
不 No!
放下武器 你这个杀手 偷派贼 Drop the weapon, you murdering pie thief!
－干得好 腌黄瓜先生 －但是是狗和大脚怪干的 - Good work, Mr. Pickles! - But it was the dog a-and bigfoot!
大脚怪 Bigfoot?
还有只独角兽 对吧 嗯 And I'm a unicorn, right? Hmm.
好狗狗 我完全没料到 Nice doggy! I didn't see nothing!
该死 我们来迟了 Hot dang it, we're too late!
抱歉 大家 是腌黄瓜先生的功能 Sorry, boys! Mr. Pickles beat us to it.
嗯 谁会得到奖赏 Well, who's gonna get the reward?
这只狗真他妈聪明 That dog sure is one smart son of a gun!
哦 爸爸 你回来了 Oh! Father? You came back!
你是个烂儿子 我希望你从没出生过 You're a lousy son! I wish you were never born!
啊 父亲节快乐 爸爸 Aww, happy father's day, dad!
哦 这个派尝上去有点不对劲 Oh, something about this pie doesn't taste right to me.
我觉得 I think it's even
比之前的好吃多了 亲爱的 谢谢汤米和腌黄瓜先生 better than usual, dear, thanks to Tommy and Mr. Pickles for
找到了这个派 －忘了吧 - finding the pie. - Forget about it!
－好家伙 腌黄瓜先生 - Good boy, Mr. Pickles!
爸爸 我们可以从杂货店里买一些珍宝腌黄瓜吗 Dad, can we get some of those jumbo pickles from the grocery?
对不起 汤米 Sorry, Tommy.
－我没法晋升了 －除此之外 - I didn't get that promotion. - Besides, the grocery
出于某种原因 杂货店关门了 store was closed for some reason.
我没法给你带你想要的冰淇淋了 I couldn't get the ice cream you wanted.
嗯 我知道你可以做什么代替 Well, I know something you could do instead.
现在你终于可以发现了 他关着他的囚犯在 呃 Now you'll finaly see! He's keeping prisoners in... huh?
父亲节快乐 爸爸 Happy father's day, dad.
不 不可能 No! It can't be!
嘿 老大 我们是抢了银行还是怎么了 Hey, boss, we robbing a bank or something?