COURAGE THE COWARDLY DOG SHOW.
STARRING COURAGE, THE COWARDLY DOG.
ABANDONED AS A PUP,
HE WAS FOUND BY MURIEL,
WHO LIVES IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE
WITH HER HUSBAND, EUSTACE BAGGE.
BUT CREEPY STUFF HAPPENS IN NOWHERE.
IT'S UP TO COURAGE TO SAVE HIS NEW HOME.
STUPID DOG. YOU MAKE ME LOOK BAD.
[SCREAM]
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY THE TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP AND U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
[GROANING]
OH...
BLECH!
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
EUSTACE, WOULD YOU BE A DEAR AND SEE WHO THAT IS?
[KNOCKING]
AH! GO GET THE DOOR, DOG.
TELEGRAM FOR MURIEL BAGGE.
[CAR ROARS AWAY]
OOH!
IT'S FROM MY GREAT UNCLE ANGUS IN SCOTLAND.
I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW I HAD A GREAT UNCLE ANGUS.
IT SEEMS THE LAST RELATIVE
WHO KNEW THE SECRET PATTERN OF OUR FAMILY'S TARTAN KILT
JUST DIED.
[GASPS]
IT LOOKS LIKE I'M THE ONLY ONE LEFT
WHO KNOWS HOW TO WEAVE THE FAMILY KILT.
BIG DEAL. WHERE'S MY BREAKFAST?
OH, DEAR. ANGUS SAYS HE NEEDS US TO COME TO SCOTLAND AT ONCE.
WE'LL BE NEEDING THE SECRET PATTERN
FOR THE KILT, THEN, WON'T WE?
I AIN'T GOING. I HATE SCOTLAND.
SUIT YOURSELF.
OH, MY.
GOOD 'SMORN.
IS THAT YOU, MURIEL BAGGE?
WHY, YES.
GREAT UNCLE ANGUS?
UM...RIGHT.
IT'S ME, YOUR GREAT UNCLE ANGUS.
I SEE YOU'VE BROUGHT THE SECRET KILT PATTERN WITH YOU.
VERY GOOD.
WELL, WE'D BETTER BE GETTING TO THE CASTLE
BEFORE THE FOG ROLLS OVER THE MOORS.
HERE WE ARE, LASSIE.
THE BEDROOM IS FOR YOU AND THE WEE POOCH.
I DON'T MEAN TO BE UNGRATEFUL,
BUT THERE'S NO BED.
AH, HA HA. HOW COULD I FORGET THE BED?
HA HA. MEANWHILE, I'D LOVE IT
IF YOU COULD COMMENCE WEAVING THE TARTAN KILT.
YOU KNOW, FOR FAMILY TRADITION AND ALL.
OF COURSE, UNCLE ANGUS.
WHY, IT WOULD BE AN HONOR.
I'LL BE NEEDING SOME WOOL, THOUGH.
OH, WE'VE GOT PLENTY OF THAT.
[SHEEP BLEATING]
[STIFLES A CRY]
NOW, YOU JUST ROLL THE WOOL OFF THE SHEEP'S BACK
AND HAND IT TO ME AS I WEAVE.
GOOD. I'LL LEAVE YOU TWO TO YOUR WORK.
[HUMMING]
SO, HOW ARE WE DOING?
WE'VE GOT ONE TARTAN KILT WOVEN WITH LOVE
FOR MY DEAR UNCLE ANGUS.
NOW ALL WE NEED ARE 4,999 MORE OF THESE BABIES
BY THE TIME THE SUN PEAKS OVER THE MOORS.
SURE, AFTER A WEE NAP AND A NICE CUP OF TEA,
I CAN GET STA--
ARE YOU DAFT, MAN?!
I'VE GOT OUTLET STORES
BREATHING DOWN MY NECK FOR MORE KILTS.
IT'S SUPPLY AND DEMAND.
I DEMAND. YOU SUPPLY.
BUT--BUT HOW CAN YOU DO THIS TO ME, UNCLE ANGUS?
AH, HA HA HA HA!
YOU'RE NOTHING TO ME BECAUSE I'M NOT YOUR GREAT UNCLE ANGUS.
WHAT'S MORE, YOU DON'T HAVE A GREAT UNCLE ANGUS
AND YOU NEVER DID.
BUT THEN, WHO ARE YOU?
WHO AM I? WHO AM I?
NEVER MIND WHO I AM. I'M NOT TELLING YOU.
NOW START YOUR WEAVING, BABY.
AND WHAT IF I DON'T?
THEN YOU'D LEAVE ME NO CHOICE BUT TO...
[SCOTTISH GIBBERISH]
...SHEPHERD'S PIE!
YIPES!
YOU'D MAKE SHEPHERD'S PIE OUT OF US?
AYE.
WHY YOU'RE NOTHING BUT A WEE MONSTER,
MR., UH...
WHAT'S YOUR NAME AGAIN?
NEVER MIND MY NAME! YOU JUST DO YOUR WORK.
[SCOTTISH GIBBERISH]
OOH! WHAT A STRANGE, NASTY, LITTLE MAN.
AND JUST WHERE AM I SUPPOSED TO GET THE WOOL
TO WEAVE 4,999 KILTS?
OOH!
BAAAH!
REMEMBER, BE FINISHED BY SUNRISE.
AH, HA HA HA HA!
BAAH!
OH, DEAR. WHAT EVER ARE WE GOING TO DO?
THERE MUST BE A WAY OUT OF HERE.
[BLEATING]
AH, HA HA HA HA!
OH, NO. THAT'S WAY TOO FAR FOR ME TO JUMP.
IT'S UP TO YOU, COURAGE.
YOU'VE GOT TO GO OUT THE WINDOW AND GET HELP.
I'LL LOWER YOU DOWN WITH MY HAIR,
JUST LIKE RAPUNZEL.
[WHINES]
[SNAP]
[SCREAMING]
[MOANING]
OOOHH...
OW!
YOU'RE FIRED!
TAKE YOUR THINGS AND GET OUT!
YOU KNOW THE RULES, AND YOU BROKE THEM.
NO ONE UTTERS MY NAME.
ANYONE WHO DARES EVEN TO WHISPER IT
GETS A SURE BOOT OUT OF MY CASTLE.
NOW, OFF WITH YOU!
BE GONE...MUM.
AH, HA HA HA!
HMM.
[DOORBELL CHIMES]
AHH! NOW WHAT?
[MUSIC PLAYING]
CONGRATULATIONS, FRIEND.
YOU'VE JUST WON OUR GRAND PRIZE: $1 MILLION!
AND ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS JUST TELL US YOUR NAME,
SO WE CAN COMPLETE THE CHECK.
LET'S JUST MAKE IT OUT TO CASH.
[GASPS]
AH, HA HA HA HA.
[WHINES]
3,206.
[WHINES]
Woman: WHAT KIND OF WORLD IS IT
WHEN A MOTHER GETS TREATED LIKE A BAG OF DIRT,
AND ALL BECAUSE SHE DIDN'T NAME HER SON TONY
OR FRANKIE OR MYRON.
BUT NO. I GAVE HIM A PERFECTLY LOVELY NAME.
[WHISPERING]
YES!
[MOANING]
[HEAVY BREATHING]
[GIBBERISH]
WHAT'S THAT YOU'RE SAYING?
[GIBBERISH]
WRINKLED PIMPLE SKIN?
[GIBBERISH]
PUMPERNICKEL STILTS FIN?
[BANGING]
TIME'S UP. DO I HAVE MY 5,000 KILTS?
ALL I COULD MANAGE TO WEAVE WAS 4,237.
PLEASE DON'T GRIND US UP, MR...UH...
WHAT DID YOU SAY YOUR NAME WAS AGAIN?
THERE YOU GO AGAIN WITH MY NAME!
IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.
[GIBBERISH]
FIRST WORD IS...
UH...BUTTOCKS.
BOTTOM?
TUSH? HEINIE?
RUMP?
UH-HUH. UH-HUH.
SECOND WORD.
OLD! RUMP-OLD!
RUMPLED?
OH, ISN'T THIS FUN? NEXT WORD?
YOU'RE A GIRL.
AYE. YOU'RE A GIRL.
[HOWLING]
KILT SKIN. KILT SKIN.
RUMPLED-KILT-SKIN?
UH-HUH. UH-HUH.
NOOO!
RUMPLED-KILT-SKIN.
WHAT IN HEAVEN'S NAME IS THAT?
IT'S MY NAME!
I TOLD YOU, NO ONE UTTERS MY NAME
AND STAYS HERE UNDER MY ROOF!
NOW, GET OUT! OOUUTT!
[WHINING]
RUMPLEDKILTSKIN?
WELL, I THINK IT'S A DARLING, PRECIOUS NAME.
DON'T EVER SAY IT AGAIN, WOMAN,
OR I SWEAR I'LL--I'LL--
[SOBBING]
THERE, THERE.
BUT IF YOU HATE YOUR NAME SO MUCH,
WHY DON'T YOU JUST CHANGE IT, DEAR?
CHANGE IT? WHAT DO YOU MEAN CHANGE IT?
YOU KNOW, MAYBE SOMETHING MORE ALONG THE LINES OF RUMPLESTILTSKIN?
HMM. IT DOES HAVE A CERTAIN RING TO IT.
I LIKE IT!
I FEEL LIKE A NEW MAN.
SAY, HOW ABOUT YOU AND ME GO INTO BUSINESS TOGETHER
AS FULL PARTNERS?
YOU'VE GOT YOURSELF A DEAL, RUMPLESTILTSKIN.
[PLAYS BAGPIPES]
Man: SO, WHAT'S FOR DINNER TONIGHT?
HOW ABOUT SARDINES?
YES. I LOVE SARDINES.
THE PERFECT WAY TO CELEBRATE MY LIBERATION FROM LONELINESS.
FINALLY, AFTER YEARS OF BEING ALONE IN THIS--THIS HOUSE,
I HAVE THE ANSWER TO MY PRAYERS.
[MUFFLED CRIES]
COMPLAIN ALL YOU WANT.
I'M TIRED OF BEING ALONE WITH YOU.
[MOANING]
IT'S TAKEN YEARS, BUT I'VE PERFECTED MY LATEST INVENTION.
BY THIS TIME TOMORROW, I, DR. GERHARDT VON ORBISON,
WILL FINALLY HAVE NEIGHBORS.
[CRYING, MOANING]
[MAN YODELING]
[YIPPING]
[YODELING INTENSIFIES]
OOH! AAH!
UGH!
[YODELING]
AAH! AAH!
[HOWLING]
SOMEONE'S MOVING THE WINDMILL.
IT ISN'T THE WINDMILL MOVING, IT'S US!
Eustace: AAAH!
OH...
AH. OOF!
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
I WONDER WHO THAT COULD BE?
BE RIGHT THERE.
COURAGE, WE HAVE A VISITOR.
WELCOME TO THE NEIGHBORHOOD.
WE HAVE NEIGHBORS. WHY, THANK YOU.
DON'T WAIT FOR A TIP.
HEH HEH HEH HEH.
THAT WAS SO RUDE.
I'M SORRY. CAN WE HELP YOU?
I AM DR. GERHARDT VON ORBISON--
A DOCTOR!
EUSTACE, WE HAVE A DOCTOR FOR A NEIGHBOR,
WHEREVER WE LIVE NOW.
YEAH? GOT A DOCTOR'S KNIFE TO OPEN THIS WITH?
I'M SORRY SIR, BUT--
THEN WHAT GOOD ARE YOU?
I'M TERRIBLY SORRY, DOCTOR.
CALL ME GERHARDT.
GERHARDT. WOULD YOU LIKE TO COME IN?
WHY, THANK YOU.
[MOANING, CRYING]
AAAH!
Muriel: WOULD YOU LIKE SOME TEA, NEIGHBOR?
THAT WOULD BE DELIGHTFUL, NEIGHBOR.
[CHUCKLING]
[GULP]
OOOH!
YOU DON'T WEAR THOSE GLASSES
WHEN YOU OPERATE ON YOUR PATIENTS, DO YOU?
ACTUALLY, I AM A DOCTOR OF SOUND.
A SOUND DOCTOR. HOW UNUSUAL.
DO YOU KNOW HOW TO PLAY PINOCHLE?
NO, BUT YOU COULD TEACH ME...
AND I COULD TEACH YOU TO PLAY SITAR.
AH! AH! AH! OOH!
UGH!
[POUNDING ON DOOR]
OH, MY. MORE NEIGHBORS.
[MOANING, ROARING]
DOCTOR, I DON'T WANT TO SEEM UNNEIGHBORLY,
BUT YOUR HOUSE SEEMS TO BE VERY UPSET.
SHE'S DOING IT AGAIN.
SHE?
I'VE BEEN SO LONELY FOR SO LONG.
YEARS AGO I USED MUSIC TO BRING MY HOUSE TO LIFE...
TO HAVE A FRIEND.
OH, MY.
BUT SHE'S NEVER BEEN VERY GOOD COMPANY,
AND SHE'S VERY JEALOUS.
[MOANING]
SHE WANTS ME TO COME HOME.
[MOANING]
NO! DON'T! PLEASE!
WHY CAN'T I HAVE NEIGHBORS?!
[SLAM]
WHOA!
[MUTTERING]
GET OFF MY PROPERTY, YOU BIG STUPID--OOOH!
AAH! OOH!
[CROWING]
AAH!
PLEASE. STOP IT! STOP IT!
AAAH!
OOH!
AAH!
[RUMBLING]
POOR DR. VON ORBISON.
WHAT ABOUT US?
HIS HOUSE MUST BE SO JEALOUS OF OUR LITTLE FARMHOUSE.
AFTER ALL, OUR HOME IS SO LOVELY,
AND HIS IS, WELL, IT'S A MESS.
I BET A LITTLE SPRUCING UP WOULD MAKE IT FEEL BETTER.
HMM.
[GUNFIRE]
[GASPS]
HEY! HEY!
AAH! AAH!
[MOANING]
[LOW MOAN]
WHO'S OUT THERE?
OH, WHY, HELLO, NEIGHBOR.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING,
BUT SHE'S STARTING TO CALM DOWN.
[MOANING]
[GASPS]
YES. PAINTING IS AN EXCELLENT IDEA.
[SCREAMING]
I SHOULD HAVE DONE THIS YEARS AGO.
COURAGE, YOU'VE MADE THIS HOUSE BEAUTIFUL.
SHE'S THE HAPPIEST I'VE EVER SEEN HER.
LISTEN.
[PLEASED MOANS]
AAAH!
AND DON'T COME BACK!
SHH, EUSTACE. I THINK THE NOISE IS STOPPING.
HEH?
OOH!
COME IN, NEIGHBORS. COME IN.
OH, MY.
WELCOME TO MY HUMBLE ABODE.
I MUST SAY THAT YOUR HOME
IS ONE OF THE MOST BEAUTIFUL I'VE EVER SEEN.
GOT MORE SARDINES?
AMAZING WHAT A LITTLE TENDER LOVING CARE
CAN DO FOR YOU.
IT'S SUCH A FRIENDLY PLACE NOW.
UH-HUH.
[CREAKING, BANGING]
WHAT'S ALL THAT RACKET?
Muriel: OH, MY. HOUSES. EVERYWHERE.
[DOORBELL CHIMES]
NEIGHBORS!
HELLO, NEIGHBOR.
I'M THE MAYOR.
IS THAT YOUR FARMHOUSE?
YES, IT IS.
SORRY, WE'RE NOT ZONED FOR FARMHOUSES.
MOVE IT, OR I'LL HAVE THE BOYS KNOCK IT DOWN!
OH, I'M GOING TO MISS YOU, GERHARDT.
BUT I WANT YOU TO BE MY NEIGHBOR.
TRUE NEIGHBORS CAN'T BE SEPARATED BY MILES.
YES, THAT'S RIGHT.
THANK YOU, TRUE NEIGHBOR, FOR EVERYTHING.
[PLEASED MOAN]
[LICK]
[GIGGLING]
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY THE TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP AND U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE --www.ncicap.org--
Eustace: STUPID DOG!