WE INTERRUPT THIS PROGRAM TO BRING YOU...
COURAGE THE COWARDLY DOG SHOW,
STARRING COURAGE THE COWARDLY DOG.
ABANDONED AS A PUP,
HE WAS FOUND BY MURIEL WHO LIVES IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE
WITH HER HUSBAND EUSTACE BEGG.
YAH!
Announcer: BUT CREEPY STUFF HAPPENS IN NOWHERE.
IT'S UP TO COURAGE TO SAVE HIS NEW HOME.
[SCREAMING]
STUPID DOG! YOU MADE ME LOOK BAD.
UGGA BOOGA! AAAH!
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP
AND U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
Man: IS IT MY IMAGINATION, OR HAVE OUR PILES OF CASH GOTTEN SMALLER?
YES, SIR. MUCH SMALLER.
[MUTTERS]
WE MUST BE RUNNING OUT OF SUBJECTS
WITH BLOOD TYPE ABXYZ AGAIN.
ALL IN FAVOR OF FINDING NEW SUBJECTS,
OINK LIKE A BIG FAT PIG.
[ALL OINKING]
THAT'S IT, THEN. WE FIND NEW SUBJECTS.
HOHAUSER, START MAKING CALLS.
[RINGING]
DR. VINDALOO.
[WHISPERING ON PHONE]
I'M SORRY, BUT IT WOULD BE UNETHICAL
TO SHARE MY PATIENTS' PERSONAL INFORMATION WITH--
HOW MUCH?
THAT MUCH?
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO KNOW?
[WHISPERING]
AH, ABXYZ IS A VERY RARE BLOOD TYPE.
I DO HAVE ONE PATIENT WITH THAT BLOOD TYPE.
[CHICKEN CLUCKING]
[POUNDING ON DOOR]
MURIEL BEGG? BLOOD TYPE ABXYZ?
YES. CAN I HELP YOU?
GROWTH INDUSTRIES WOULD LIKE YOU TO PARTICIPATE
IN OUR, UH, RESEARCH FOR SCIENCE AND THINGS LIKE THAT.
[GROWLING]
GROWTH INDUSTRIES IS PREPARED TO OFFER YOU THIS MUCH MONEY.
WE'LL TAKE IT.
NOW, EUSTACE, DON'T BE GREEDY.
I'M SORRY, BUT I'VE GOT SEWING TO DO.
MM-HMM. GRRRR!
HOW ABOUT THIS MUCH?
AAH!
OOH! [SEETHING]
I'M SORRY,
BUT MY ANSWER IS NO.
HAVE IT YOUR WAY. WE'LL BE IN TOUCH.
[RINGING]
HELLO?
[WHISPERING ON PHONE]
WELL, OK. IF YOU INSIST.
THE HOSPITAL WANTS ME TO SPEND A FEW DAYS THERE
SO THEY CAN MAKE SURE MY SPLEEN IS HOOKED UP RIGHT.
YOUR SPLEEN IS HOOKED UP FINE.
NOW, WHAT ABOUT ME FOOD?
STILL, IT PAYS TO BE ON THE SAFE SIDE.
I WOULDN'T WANT MY SPLEEN TO GET TANGLED
OR WHATEVER IT IS SPLEENS DO.
OWOOOO!
STUPID DOG. [CAR SPEEDS AWAY]
IT'S PROBABLY YOUR FAULT HER SPLEEN IS TWISTED.
AND NOW I'VE GOT NOTHING TO EAT.
[JABBERING EXCITEDLY]
MURIEL BEGG?
NO, I CANNOT TELL YOU ANYTHING ABOUT HER.
IT WOULD BE UNETHICAL TO REVEAL MY PATIENT'S PERSONAL INFORMATION.
SO PLEASE DON'T CALL ME AGAIN
UNLESS THERE IS BIG BUCKS INVOLVED.
DID I SAY THAT OUT LOUD? HA HA!
I WAS CONFUSED BY MY SUBMARINE.
MURIEL'S IN TROUBLE.
AAH!
AAAH!
[DR. VINDALOO HUMMING]
UH-AAAH!
I LOVE MY SUBMARINE. IT'S SO PRETTY.
Eustace: HUH? "PROPERTY OF GROWTH INDUSTRIES?"
[YELPING]
WHY, THAT DOUBLE-CROSSING GROWTH INDUSTRIES.
THEY TOOK MURIEL AFTER SHE SAID NO.
WELL, I'M NOT PUTTING UP WITH THIS!
UH-UH.
IF THEY GOT MURIEL, THEY'RE GONNA PAY.
MM-HMM.
IN CASH. [CASH REGISTER DINGS]
LOTS OF CASH!
[TIRES SQUEAL]
AAAH!
MA, WHAT ARE YOU DOIN' HERE?
OH, HELLO, COURAGE.
GOOD TO SEE YA. YEAH.
HI, STUPID BOY.
AAARGH!
I GOT A NEW JOB RUNNING THIS PLACE.
DIDN'T I TELL YA?
I'M THE BIGWIG.
YOU NEVER TOLD ME THAT. YOU NEVER TELL ME ANYTHING.
YOU GOT MURIEL IN THERE?
MURIEL WHO?
ME WIFE!
NEVER HEARD OF HER. GOOD-BYE.
I THINK YOU GOT MURIEL IN THERE,
AND IF YOU DO, I WANT ME MONEY!
WELL, IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME,
I'LL SHOW YA.
COME ON, STUPID BOY.
Eustace: OUCH!
[MUZAK PLAYING]
Ma: THIS IS THE HAIR FOR HUNGER INSTITUTE,
WHERE WE TURN HAIR INTO FOOD TO FEED HUNGRY PEOPLE.
TEAM HAIR...
WHERE WE'RE DEVELOPING ALL SORTS OF HAIR SPORTS.
HAIR FOR HOUSING, WHERE PEOPLE GROW THEIR OWN HOMES.
OOH!
OK? SATISFIED?
OH, SURE, MA. I BELIEVE YA.
MAYBE MURIEL'S ALREADY GONE HOME.
SEE YA. STUPID BOY!
STUPID DOG.
HUH?
HAIR.
HAVE THESE COLLECTOR'S ITEM WIGS COURTESY OF GROWTH INDUSTRIES.
[LAUGHING]
NOW GET OUT OF HERE.
HEY...NOT BAD.
HEE HEE HEE HEE! AH, HA HA HA!
UGH!
[SNORING]
[GASPS]
[MOANING]
OH, OH OH OH.
UH...OHHH...
OHH...
AAAH!
Muriel: COURAGE! IS THAT YOU?
UH-RA RA! [BLATHERING]
COURAGE! OVER HERE!
[WHIMPERING]
[SCREAMING]
[RAZOR BUZZING]
OOH! OH, COURAGE.
SO GOOD TO SEE YA.
GET THE DOG!
[GASPS]
OH, NO!
[FIRE ALARM RINGS]
YOU STUPID DOG!
ARF!
[THROWING PUNCHES]
[BIRDS CHIRPING]
UH...DUH!
[CAR HORN BEEPS]
Muriel, muffled: COURAGE! COURAGE, IS THAT YOU?
Courage: HUH?
OH, MY.
Ma: YOU STUPID, SNOOPING DOG!
GET AWAY FROM THERE!
AAAH!
[MURIEL'S SCREAMS ARE MUFFLED]
NOW, COURAGE... COME TO MA LIKE A GOOD DOGGIE.
[POP GOES THE WEASEL PLAYING]
COURAGE.
I ONLY WANT TO PET YOU.
I HAVE A DOGGIE TREAT.
GET OUT OF THERE! THAT'S MY HAIR.
[COURAGE SHOUTS]
MY HAIR! MY HAIR IS GONE!
I'M UGLY...UGLY!
UGLY! [SOBBING]
[MUFFLED] COURAGE! ARE YOU STILL THERE?
MURIEL?
I'LL SAVE YOU.
[IMITATES BUGLE SOUNDING CHARGE]
[RAZOR BUZZING]
THANKS, COURAGE.
EVERYTHING WAS GETTIN' SO FUZZY.
[GASPS]
[SIREN WAILS]
WOOH!
OH, MY.
Man on bullhorn: THIS IS THE FIRE DEPARTMENT.
EVACUATE THE BUILDING!
UGLY.
UGLY! [SOBBING]
AH, COURAGE.
YOU'RE A CREAM RINSE, YOU ARE.
HUH?
[SLURPING]
HEE HEE HEE! HEE HEE HEE!
EUSTACE! WHAT HAPPENED TO YA?
MONEY!
HEE HEE HEE!
OH, HO HO! HA HA!
Dr. Vindaloo: MY SUBMARINE IS SO PRETTY.
Announcer: THIS LEGENDARY HAT WAS MADE OF SOLID GOLD
AND WAS KEPT BY A SECRET SOCIETY OF MONKS.
NO ONE HAS EVER SEEN THE HAT--
NO ONE EXCEPT A LEGENDARY EXPLORER
WHO MADE A MAP LEADING TO THE FORBIDDEN HAT OF GOLD.
BLAH BLAH BLAH.
BUT THE MAP AND THE HAT HAVE NEVER BEEN FOUND.
THAT EXPLORER WAS THIS MAN.
THAT'S ME BROTHER!
THAT'S HORACE!
[HAIR DRYER BLOWING]
DID YOU SAY SOMETHING, EUSTACE?
[LAUGHING]
HEY, HORACE,
DIDN'T YOU LEAVE ME A MAP?
[LAUGHING]
GET AWAY FROM ME.
[WHINING]
OH, MY.
[MUMBLING]
[LAUGHS]
I'M GETTING THAT GOLD HAT.
[LAUGHS]
AND I'M GOING TO BE RICH,
RICH, RICH, RICH.
BUT I AIN'T TELLING MURIEL OR THAT STUPID DOG.
TELL US WHAT, EUSTACE?
[GROWLS]
WE'RE GOING ON VACATION.
OH, HOW LOVELY.
YAY!
[JUNGLE SOUNDS]
EUSTACE, I'M BEGINNING TO THINK YOU'VE GONE DAFT.
THE HOTEL'S JUST AROUND THE CORNER.
OH!
THERE IT IS, OUR HOTEL.
WHY DO I GET THE FEELING THEY DON'T HAVE ROOM SERVICE?
Muriel: "WHOMEVER STEPS INSIDE THIS PLACE
"MUST VANITY AND GREED ERASE
FOR IF YOU'RE VAIN, WELL THAT'S NO GOOD"
[WHIMPERS]
"SIGNED, ALL OF US WHO WEAR A HOOD.
P.S.: WE WARNED YOU."
GOBBLEDYGOOK.
SOUNDS LIKE PEOPLE WHO LOVE THEMSELVES
AND THEIR MONEY MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE AREN'T WELCOME HERE.
BIG DEAL.
[YAWNS]
I'M GONNA BE RICH.
ME, ME, ME!
RICH, RICH, RICH!
I LOVE ME WHEN I'M RICH!
HEE HEE HEE!
[EUSTACE LAUGHING]
Muriel: NOT THAT I'M ACHING TO KNOW,
BUT WHAT'S IN THERE?
Eustace: IT'S THE, UH--
IT'S WHERE YOU CHECK IN.
Muriel: I'M BEGINNING TO THINK THIS ISN'T A 5-STAR RESORT.
WHAT'S--HUH?
BINGO!
[EUSTACE LAUGHING]
OH, MY.
IT'S BEAUTIFUL.
I'D SURE LOOK GOOD WEARING THAT HAT.
[LAUGHS]
[VOICES CHANTING "EUSTACE!"]
HEH HEH HEH!
OW!
CAN'T YOU READ?
"DO NOT TOUCH."
NOPE.
[LAUGHS]
[RUMBLING]
NOW SEE WHAT YOU WENT AND DONE, EUSTACE?
[ALL SCREAMING]
EH?
AAH!
[WHIMPERING]
[GASPING]
EEK!
YAY!
[SCREAMING]
[GASPING]
[SCREAMING]
OH, WHAT NAUGHTY PEOPLE YOU ARE.
YOU SHOULDN'T OUGHTA HAVE TOUCHED THE GOLDEN HAT.
DIDN'T READ OUR SIGN, DID YA?
TSK TSK TSK.
ARR!
THIS WILL GO A LOT BETTER FOR YOU
IF YOU TELL US WHERE YOU HID THE HAT.
YOU'RE BLUFFING, YA BUNCH OF HIPPIES.
[GIGGLING]
OK, YOU BETTER GIVE UP THE HAT,
OR ONE OF YOU IS GONNA BE SACRIFICED.
YOU HAVE ONE MINUTE TO THINK IT OVER.
THEY AIN'T SACRIFICING NO ONE,
LOUSY, STINKIN', LYIN' HIPPIES.
THEY SOUNDED PRETTY SERIOUS TO ME.
MM-HMM.
AH, THEY'RE JUST BLOWING SMOKE.
WHERE IS THAT HAT, ANYWAY?
HAT? WHAT HAT?
TIME'S UP.
EUSTACE!
FAKERS. HIPPIE FAKERS.
WE WARNED YOU.
EUSTACE, DO SOMETHING.
THEY'RE BLUFFING, I'M TELLING YOU.
BLUFFING HIPPIES.
[GRUNTING]
[HOWLING]
YOU SHOULD HAVE PAID ATTENTION TO THE POEM.
WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO, GET HIM MAD?
STUPID DOG.
STUPID HIPPIES.
[VOICE ECHOING] THE POEM, THE POEM, THE POEM.
Muriel, echoing: "WHOMEVER STEPS INSIDE THIS PLACE
MUST VANITY AND GREED ERASE."
SOUNDS LIKE PEOPLE WHO LOVE THEMSELVES
AND THEIR MONEY MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE AREN'T WELCOME HERE.
OH!
[GASPING]
[GROWLING]
[VOICES CHANTING]
[MAN HOWLING]
OH!
[CHANTING]
AAH!
OH!
OH, MY!
MURIEL, I'LL SAVE YOU.
[SPEAKING DOG]
THANKS, MR. MOUSE.
NO PROB.
AAH!
[GROANING]
All: OOH! AH!
THAT'S A FINE AND FANCY COAT YOU GOT THERE.
[DANCE MUSIC PLAYING]
NICE COAT.
THAT IS A COAT.
HMM. COULD USE SOME ALTERATIONS.
YOU THINK I'D LOOK GOOD IN THAT COAT?
OH, IT'S SLIMMING.
I'LL TAKE ONE.
WONDERFUL QUALITY.
DOES IT COME IN MAUVE?
OH, COURAGE!
SO GOOD TO SEE YA.
[MOANING]
WE WERE WARNED THAT VANITY WOULD BE OUR UNDOING.
BUT WHO CARES? DON'T I LOOK GORGEOUS?
WELL, COURAGE, IT GOES TO SHOW YOU,
IF SOMEONE TAKES THE TIME
TO ETCH A POEM ON A PLAQUE,
YOU'D BETTER TAKE IT SERIOUSLY...
ESPECIALLY IF IT RHYMES.
I JUST HOPE EUSTACE MADE IT OUT OK.
WHAT'S--HUH?
[LAUGHS]
OH!
[LAUGHS]
I LOVE ME WHEN I'M RICH.
OH.
STUPID HAT!
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP
AND U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL
CAPTIONING INSTITUTE
--www.ncicap.org--
Eustace: STUPID DOG!