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第13章：听天由命
Nicolas Bourbaki不建议也不对任何利用本字幕生成的视频负责
是乌鸦人 It's the crow man!
第五季至此季终 八集官译两集原创 各位下季见 祝大家生活快乐
[特别感谢] 每周在第一时间提供第一手HBO官方字幕的热心群友
先等一下 Give it a second.
他说不定是要投降 Maybe he's taking it out to surrender.
欢迎大家到我们的仓库协助改错：https://github.com/N-Bourbaki/Rick-and-Morty-Chinese-Subtitles
他不是英雄，快逃 He's anti-heroic. Run!
我不懂 I don't understand.
他只是一个人而已 He's only one man!
我还有一千只乌鸦的力量 With the power of a thousand crows.
祝你好运 Good luck.
乌鸦和猫头鹰一向是世仇 Crows and owls have always been at war,
但这跟你又有什么关系？ but why do you care?
有什么意义？ What's the point?
接招吧 Here's two.
-对，真酷 -莫蒂？ Ha-ha! Yeah. Cool. Morty?
你好 Uh, h-hey, man!
真高兴能见到你 Good to see you!
你好像还很着迷于 Y-You're, like, looking, like,
乌鸦 into crows...still.
两只乌鸦，这位是莫蒂 Oh, uh, two crows, you remember Morty.
莫蒂，这是两只乌鸦 Morty, two crows.
很高兴能见到你 It's good to see you,
但你没事先说 but if you'd given me more of a heads up --
我只是刚好来这附近，我不是… Well, I-I was just in the neighborhood.
因为乌鸦的战斗 I-It wasn't like --It's just that the battle for crows
永远不会停止 is kind of never-ending.
好 Huh. Right.
那就有点没意义了，对吧？ A little pointless, then, right?
我不是这个意思，太没礼貌了 That came out wrong, s-sounded judgy.
-乌鸦马… -好吧，它们… -Crowhorse. Crowhorse. -Okay.
它们好像 Crowhorse. Crowhorse. Looks like...
要带你去做什么事 looks like they're leading you to a thing.
保重，莫蒂 Take care, Morty.
你也是 You -- You too!
我过得很好 I-I'm doing good, by the way.
我爸本来想喝你放在冰箱的酸奶 Oh, my dad was gonna eat that yogurt you left in the fridge
但我跟他说… but I-I told him --
我乘着风前行
我们以黑色羽翼翱翔
我们将永远并肩作战
在天际
与你同行
《瑞克和两只乌鸦》
我在找 I'm looking for...
草稻人 Crow Scare.
稻草人？邪恶的稻草人？ The scarecrow? The evil scarecrow?
拜托，最先供出他的人就能保命 Come on. Whoever gives him up first lives.
好吧，那我就多杀一个混帐 Fine, I can kill an extra asshole.
这样运动量比较足够 Helps me get my steps in.
喵西法
-瑞克 -莫蒂？ Rick! Morty?
木头？ Wood?!
莫蒂，你怎么变得像40岁？ Uh, Morty, why are you now like 40?
因为已经过这么久了，瑞克 Th-That's how long it's been, Rick.
那我们就可以一起喝一杯了 Oh, uh, I guess we can have a drink together, then.
有没有兰姆酒可乐？ Do you have a rum and Coke?
你才20岁吗？ What are you, 20?
别说笑了 Oh, bless your heart.
时间过得真快，对吧？ Time be goin' by, don't she?
你没发现自己 That's your reaction to finding out
浪费了一辈子吗？ you wasted your entire life?
我觉得还好 I feel okay.
那我呢？ Well -- well, what about me?!
我得请你们先 Whoa. Excuse us, boys.
回避一下了 You don't wanna be here for this.
我以为只要给你一些空间 I thought if I gave you enough space,
你就会恢复正常 you'd outgrow this... phase.
这是你点的酒，做作鬼 Here's your drink, poser.
爸生病了，癌症晚期 Dad got sick, you know. Stage 4.
你一定会很开心 You would've loved it.
桑美成为了护士，可以算是护士 Summer's a nurse -- well, pretty much a nurse.
她嫁给了一个毒虫 She -- She married a junkie.
瑞克，快回家 Rick, come home,
我们还有点时间 while we still got a little time.
莫蒂，我们之前的关系很不健康 Morty, what we had wasn't healthy.
这就很健康吗？ And this is?
你跟乌鸦经历了无数场历险 Y-You've had a thousand adventures with these crows.
你什么时候才要杀死大魔王？ When are you gonna kill their big bad?
首先，这种悬念 First off, the "will they/kill they"
对它们来说很重要 is everything to my guys.
而且去你的别想破坏我的幸福 And second, fuck you for trying to undermine my happiness.
这可能是你最后一次见到我了 This may be the last time you ever lay eyes on me!
希望不是，莫蒂 I hope that's not true, Morty,
因为你状况很糟 because you look like s shit,
我不想记得这样的你 and this is not how I wanna remember you.
这两只乌鸦现在是我的了 Now that I have his two crows,
我总算能除掉乌鸦瑞克了 nothing will stop me from eliminating Crow Rick.
不要帮他说话 Don't defend him to me.
真不懂你们看上他哪一点 I don't even get what you see in him.
说得对 You're right.
我们应该好好享受在一起的时光 We should be enjoying the time we have together.
乌鸦瑞克 Crow Rick!
不要误会，我们… Oh, I-I know what this must look like, but --
看来我的死对头草稻人 It looks like my arch nemesis, Crow Scare,
和我的搭档正在规划一起历险 and my sidekicks planning adventures together.
你才不是受害者 You are hardly the victim here.
早在你出现之前 I was adventuring with these two crows
我就开始跟它们一起历险了 before you ever came along.
三支牙刷
我是你们的备胎？ What do you mean, "using me as a rebound?"
你们觉得我也把你们当备胎？ You feel like I was using you as a rebound, too?
靠，那就失去意义了 Well, shit, this lost all meaning.
还不算太糟 I guess it could have been worse.
至少历险只是 At least adventuring was just a metaphor
恋情的象征而已，所以这不算真正的分手 for romantic partnership, so it's not a real break-up.
不对 Speak for yourself.
我们也有亲密的肢体关系 We immensely enjoy each other's bodies.
什么？不 What?! Ugh! No!
他好像想看证据 Sounds like the man's asking for proof.
就让他看看吧，两位 Let's show him, fellas!
我没有要看证据 -I-I asked for zero proof! -Ahh!
坏鸟鸟 Zero proof!
我要给你自由意志 I'm giving you free will.
向乌鸦马屈服吧 Submit to Crow Horse!
-瑞克？ -我回来了，朋友 -Rick? -Wubba lubba dub dub! I'm back, pal!
莫蒂，是谁来了？ Morty, who's at the door?
等等，你不是已经惨死了吗？ Wait a minute. I thought you died gruesomely?
这是怎么回事？ W-what the hell's going on here?
其实… See, uh, the -- the thing is, uh...
你能把莫蒂变回14岁吗，爸？ Can you please make Morty 14 again, Dad?
这太荒谬了 This is ridiculous.
好，听着，我可能用了老化药水 Okay, look, I-I may have used an aging serum
稍微情绪勒索你了一下 to kind of emotionally blackmail you a little.
我猜到了，我完全能理解，莫蒂 I kind of figured, and I totally get it, Morty,
我受够那两只乌鸦了 I-I'm done with the two crows.
他们很黏人，我想跟你再试一次 Like, they were super clingy and I'm ready to make this work.
我们就按下重置按钮吧 Let's just hit the reset button.
不，亲爱的，不要重置，好吗？ Well, no, honey, not a reset, okay?
跟外公说，你值得他的尊重 Tell your grandpa that you're worthy of his respect
你希望他之后换个方式对待你 and you want to be treated differently from now on.
我不要 I refuse to do that.
我很想跟他复合 I-I'm desperate to get back together.
-跟他爸一样 -别担心 -Just like his old man. -Don't worry, honey.
莫蒂是变中年才会这样 That's just Morty's middle age talking.
等他还有更长的人生要过 He'll be less codependent once we get
就不会这么黏人了 more of his life in front of him again.
我希望他继续40岁 Uh, I'd like him to stay 40
这样他才能帮我朋友买摇头丸 so he can keep buying my friends molly.
我宁愿放弃投票 I'd rather throw my vote away
也不要支持有缺陷的系统 than use it to support a flawed system.
第一场历险能先把我变回来吗？ Can we make our first adventure fixing this?
-我一直在想草坪的事 -好吧 -I keep thinking about lawn care. -Okay, buddy.
谁卖这烂老化药水给你？ Who sold you this shitty aging serum?
-长什么样子？ -跟你一样 -What did he look like? -Just like you.
-我是在大本营买的 -太棒了 -I-I got it from the Citadel. -Hot damn.
快来点大本营的情节吧 Hittin' the ground running with a Citadel episode.
再见了，各位废物 See ya later, masturbators.
嗨，我是大本营的新吉祥物小和 Hi! I'm Citadel's new mascot, Andy,
因为这里有瑞克、和、莫蒂 because this place wouldn't be home without Ricks "Andy" Mortys.
真蠢 Dumb.
这里发生了什么事？ Ooh, what happened to this place?
这里现在有个莫蒂总统了 There's a Morty president now.
真可爱，这里重建得很好 Aw, that's cute. They rebuilt. They made it nicer.
这里变成格伦代尔了 They made it Glendale.
天啊，你脾气真暴躁 God damn, you are cantankerous.
我现在连拉屎都会痛 Even pooping hurts now.
是吗？这里会把你修好的 Yeah, well, this place is gonna fix you right up.
好，有个标准莫蒂 Okay, so, we've got a standard Morty
被老化到40岁了吗？ that's been aged to...40?
可以逆转吗？ Can you reverse it?
想成是骨头 Well, if you look at it like a bone,
我们可以把他的年龄 what we can do is break his age in two places,
断成三截，取出中间那段，再把头尾两段接起来 remove the middle, and graft its ends back together.
听起来好暴力 Th-that sounds really violent.
不是真正的骨头，莫蒂 It's not a literal bone, Morty.
好 Oh, okay.
但这过程也会 Ah, brace yourself, the process does also
弄断全身的骨头 break every bone in your body.
等等 Wait! Aah! Ooh! Ow!
-我喜欢蜡笔 -女生好恶 -I like crayons. -Girls are gross.
我好像变回原样了 I-I think I feel like myself again.
你看起来有点怪 Uh, you look a little weird.
全身都是粉红色，就像老鼠宝宝 Your skin's all pink like a baby mouse.
-这是正常的吗？ -应该是 -I-Is that normal? -Probably.
要存放或清除我们取出的26年 Uh, sign here for storage or disposal
请在这里签名 of the 26 years we removed.
什么？ Wait, what?
我不要花钱存放那26年 I ain't payin' to store 26 years.
那你们就得带走 Well, then you're taking it with you.
我快准备好抛弃原则了 I'm almost ready to sell out.
好吧，清除要多少钱？ Alright, what's disposal cost?
发生了不公义的事 -Oh! -S-something unfair's happening.
根本无法逃脱，无法逃脱 There's no escape. No escape!
我来帮你，这样不好看 Let me help you! This is not a good look.
-天啊 -他们对我开了枪 -Oh, boy. -Hey! They -- they shot me!
你对大本营体验造成很大的伤害 You are seriously hurting the Citadel experience.
-听我说 -把枪放下 -Listen to me! -Drop the gun!
我们都即将面临死亡 Death is coming for us all,
大本营是大规模杀伤… and the Citadel is a weapon of mass des--
你会被停职留薪 Woof. You're about to get suspended with pay.
走吧，莫蒂，这快变政治事件了 Come on, Morty, let's get outta here before this gets political.
我很有影响力吗？ Oh! Was I... influential?
对，你很有影响力 Yeah, y-you were influential.
你有七个博客 Y-You had like seven -- seven blogs.
赞 Tight. Oh.
太迟了 Ugh. Too late.
瑞克C-137 Rick C-137,
莫蒂总统邀请你跟他共进晚餐 President Morty requests you join him for dinner.
天啊，真的吗？ Whoa! S-Seriously?
我之前把这里摧毁了 You know I destroyed this place.
总统已经特赦你了，先生 You've been pardoned for that, sir.
瑞克，我们去跟莫蒂总统吃饭 Rick! Let's have dinner with the Morty President.
莫蒂，我们该进行小历险才对 Morty, the idea was to get back to simple adventures.
大本营都得按照正规剧情来 The Citadel runs on canon.
好吧，看来状况真的 Okay. I guess things really are just going right back
完全没变 to how they were.
好吧，我可以吃点东西 Fine. I could eat.
但他只要开始耍坏，我们就走人 But the second he reveals he's evil, we're gone.
这其实还蛮好吃的 I dunno. It tastes... pretty good.
好，你有中毒感再告诉我 Okay, let me know if you start feeling poisony.
很高兴能跟你合体 Good to have you back, buddy.
抱歉，我迟到了，有好多事要忙 Sorry I'm late. Never really ends around here.
你看 Look at this, Morty.
真的有莫蒂选上总统了 They really did make a you the president.
我每天都很讨厌选我的人 And I hate 'em every day for it.
天啊，瑞克C-137 But wow! Rick C-137.
你是需要特别排开行程见的贵宾 Now, that's a guy to move your schedule around for.
希望你不会再来把这里炸烂 Not -- Not here to blow the place up again, I hope.
除非你想把我留下来 Ha! Not unless you try to keep me here.
天啊，我想都不敢想 Ha-ha, geez. Wouldn't dream of it.
但你能来真是太好了 But it's amazing you dropped by
因为我本来想找你 because I was eventually gonna hunt you down.
他要耍坏了，来吧 There's the reveal. Let's dance.
-真是的 -瑞克，别这样 -Ha! Geez. -Rick, come on, man.
他都选上总统了，是瑞克和莫蒂选的 The guy got elected president by Ricks and Mortys.
-他人很好 -每个政客人都很好 -He's being really nice. -All politicians are nice.
他脾气还真暴躁，对吧？ He's a hot bag of peanuts, isn't he?
我们经历了很多事 We've been through a lot.
他不喜欢…连续剧情 A-And he does not like --Serialized drama.
好，只要走单集剧情就好 Right, no drama. Keep it episodic.
瑞克从不留恋过去 Ricks never look back.
这对传奇人物来说太可惜了 Waste of a legend in his case.
-你知道这里算是他建立的吗？ -等等，什么？ -You know he practically built this place? -Wait, what?
你现在经营得很好，对吧？ And now you're running it squeaky clean, right?
才会有畸形莫蒂 That's why you got deformed Mortys
从下水道冒出来 coming up through the sewer lines
说着关于希望和改变的事？ talking about hope and change?
-有道理 -回嘴回得好，瑞克 -Fair enough. -Good clapback, Rick.
这是怎么回事，总统？ What's the deal with that, Mister P?
我正在执行某项计划 I got a little project going on.
需要劳力 Required some hands-on labor.
告诉我该如何降低中心有限曲线 It would require less if you were willing
我就不需要 to tell me how one might
那么多人力了 bring down the Central Finite Curve.
好，我们该走了，莫蒂 Alright, time to go, Morty.
我想知道他在讲什么 I want to know what he's talking about.
对啊，你们都大老远来了 Yeah, you've come all this way.
再给我十秒，好吗？ Can you give me 10 more seconds?
那你现在只剩六秒了 Literally 10? Because now it would be 6.
没关系 Oh, I'm fine with that.
倒数二 Make it 2.
一… One.
你如果告诉我会很有帮助 Like I said, would have been a big help for you to tell me,
但我需要的情报应该都到手了 but I should have everything I need from you now.
我确认一下 Let me just make sure.
吃前菜的时间无法扫描整个大脑 You can't scan an entire brain over appetizers.
你大部分大脑的内容都在很久之前就扫描过了 Oh, most of yours got scanned a longtime ago.
你可能不记得了 You probably don't remember.
回去看第一季第九集，笨蛋 Check out season 1, episode 9, Rick Heads.
精益求精 Excel sior!
-邪恶瑞克 -我们教训了他 -Evil Rick. -We kicked his ass!
邪恶瑞克，我喜欢 "Evil Rick." I love it.
他是全宇宙最聪明的人 Smartest man in the universe,
又很自大，很好操控 with an ego so big you can just grab it like a joystick.
看起来很完整 Looks complete.
我还担心要杀光大本营里的瑞克 I was afraid I'd have to kill every Rick
才能得到我要的东西 on the Citadel to get what I needed.
王八蛋，我还帮你担保了 You asshole! I vouched for you!
他会来都是因为我说想来 He only came here because I asked him to.
对不起，瑞克 I'm sorry, Rick.
道歉跟给我一把螺丝刀 That apology and a screwdriver in my hand
我比较需要螺丝刀 would be worth a screwdriver.
我真讨厌你们这些没原则的莫蒂 You sellout Mortys kill me.
你们比你们崇拜的瑞克更讨人厌 I'd hate you more than the Ricks you worship
但这并没有意义 if there was any point.
你也是情不自禁 But you can't help it.
你天生就这样 You were bred for it.
你想看吗？ Wanna see?
你知道离群瑞克利用了莫蒂 You already know Rogue Ricks used Mortys
让大本营找不到他们 to hide themselves from the Citadel.
但你或许不知道这计谋太成功了 But you might not know it worked so well
大本营都变成了 that the Citadel became its own
莫蒂市场 Morty Market.
你也不知道他们为了提高供给量 And I'm sure you don't know how far they've gone
会做到什么地步 to help supply meet demand.
对，瑞克也可以到无限个宇宙去 Sure, Ricks could scour infinity
寻找自然产生的孙子 for naturally occurring grandsons.
但何必呢？ But why bother?
那样太麻烦了 So much work.
还得承认自己的需要 Such an admission of need.
我们的外公并没有无限个版本 There aren't infinite versions of our grandfather, Morty.
他只是同一个糟老头的无限副本 He's an infinite smear of one shitty old man.
他永远离不开我们 And he's attached to us infinitely
因为他很软弱，我们又善于原谅 through his weakness and our forgiveness.
所以我们才会跟他在一起 This is why we're with him.
所以我们才会活着 This is why we're alive.
搞什么？ What the fuck?
瑞克，快说这不是事实 Rick, say this isn't true.
-这不全是事实 -骗子 -It isn't the whole truth. -Liar!
-说来话长 -我现在很闲 -It's complicated! -I'm not busy.
好，莫蒂，我不是说过比起道歉 Okay, Morty, remember when I said all I need
我比较需要螺丝刀吗？ was your apology and a screwdriver in my hand?
我忘了我手里确实有把螺丝刀 Well, I forgot I literally have a screwdriver in my hand.
废话，我简直就是神探加杰特 I mean, duh-doy. I'm basically Inspector Gadget.
没关系，放他走吧 It's okay. He's free to go.
他是最瑞克的瑞克，我们再也不会见到他了 He's the Rickest Rick. We'll never see him again.
莫蒂，你来买老化药水时 Morty, when you came here for that serum,
有没有补过传送液？ did you refill this gun?
有 Yeah.
靠 Oh. Ooh! Holy shit!
能破解我的传送枪的只有一个人 I only know one man that ever hacked my portal gun,
就是邪恶的你 and it turned out it was evil you.
真棒，他全都搞懂了 Yay! He's all caught up.
等等，先住手… Wait. Hold it. Hold it.
-那是谁？ -大胃王该登场了，躲起来 -Who -- Who's that? -Time for Big Boy. Duck!
他很享受吗？ Does he like it?
这象征着资本主义，莫蒂 It's a metaphor for capitalism, Morty.
你觉得呢？ What do you think?
你是无法逃避过去的，瑞克 You can't outrun your past, Rick.
你以为我会突然卸除力场吗？ Did you think my force field would be down the second time?
我是在对你的言论表达不满 I was expressing disapproval of your dialogue.
你就尽管不满吧 Disapprove all you want.
到了今晚，言论品质就不重要了 Tonight, the quality of dialogue stops mattering.
到了今晚，我就能如愿 Tonight, I do that thing I want to do
降低曲线 with the curve thing.
谁都别离开，全都留下来… Nobody leave. Everybody stay.
谁都别离开，全都留下来 Nobody leave. Everybody stay.
在这种动荡时机 In uncertain times like these,
我有重要的话要说：＂去撞墙，干你娘＂ I think it's important for me to say, eat shit, fuck you.
每句话都是药厂花钱请我讲的 The drug companies paid for me to say every word.
我有很多钱 I have millions of dollars,
我不在乎你们… and I don't care if you live -- oh, God!
不，干，不 Oh, fuck! No! Aah!
我觉得处方药很棒 And I'd just like to say that prescription drugs are great,
你们应该马上去买 and you should buy them now.
怎么回事，瑞克？ What's happening, Rick?
他对大本营的传送液都动了手脚 He hacked the entire city's portal supply.
走吧，我们或许还有办法能离开 Come on, there still might be one way out of here --
从底下离开 out the bottom.
他想从你的大脑里找到什么？ What do you think he needed from your brain?
应该是大本营的维度驱动设计图 I assume schematics for the Citadel's dimensional drive.
他若想破坏曲线 If he's gonna use it to blow the curve,
我们最好快逃 we do notwant to be here.
中心有限曲线是什么？ What is the Central Finite Curve?
我们先活下来，我再开放提问 Q&A after our survival.
希望能从源头取得未污染传送液 Hopefully we can snag some untainted fluid at the source
然后离开这里 and get the fuck out of here.
可能没办法了 Or not.
我以为我的资本主义比喻很强了 Wow. I thought mycapitalism metaphor was on the nose.
你有帮忙建造大本营吗？ So did you help build the Citadel?
你是不是什么事都对我说谎？ Do you just lie to me about everything?
我们能先专心穿越地洞基地吗？ Can't we just sneak through the cave base?
我们重新开始了，莫蒂，我们要继续进行简单的历险 We turned a new leaf, Morty. We're back to simple adventures.
你要对我说实话才算重新开始 It's not a new leaf until you tell me everything.
莫蒂，我们真的没时间 Morty, we really don't have time for this.
-这里要爆炸了 -不，我不信任你 -The whole place is gonna blow. -No, I-I don't trust you.
你如果不直接回答我 I-I don't want to do this anymore
我就不想继续跟你探险了 if I'm not gonna get straight answers from you.
该死 God damn it!
这是我大脑的内容，莫蒂 Here's my fucking downloaded brain, Morty.
你想看精彩情节吗？ You want to jump the shark?
你想知道我愚蠢的可怜故事吗？ You want to know my stupid crybaby backstory?
那就随你便，不是现在 Knock yourself out. Not -- not now!
-做得好，莫蒂 -这样如何？ -Boo ya, Rick. -Nice one, Morty!
你太太死了？ Whoa. Dead wife?
对，大家现在可以闭嘴了 Yes, now everyone can shut up about it.
天啊，瑞克，我看过之后，心里好受多了 Wow, Rick, I feel a lot better having seen all that.
当然是这样啦 Of course that's the case.
在他们眼中，自己才是居于劣势 In their minds, they're the underdogs.
所以他们才能合理化这一切 And that's how they justify this.
莫蒂，我不能 Morty, I'm not responsible
为所有烂瑞克负责 for every fucked-up Rick out there.
每个瑞克都是这样说 They literally all say that.
他们都有一样的借口 They all have that excuse.
这是他们的本质 It's part of their system.
他们都不用负责任 None of them have to be responsible.
他们都是自己的受害者 They're all victims of themselves.
当天才好辛苦，你为什么不能直接死掉？ Oh, it's so hard to be a genius. Couldn't you just die?
你打算怎么做？ Well, what are you doing about it?
我什么都不做，我要走了 Jack shit. I'm leaving.
你知道中心有限曲线是什么吗？ Do you know what the Central Finite Curve is?
他们沿着无限建了一道墙 They built a wall around infinity.
他们把所有无限宇宙 They separated all the infinite universes
跟自己是最聪明的人的无限宇宙分开 from all the infinite universes where he's the smartest man in the universe.
每一版的我们都在 Every version of us has spent every version
为无限宝宝建造的无限摇篮里过了一辈子 of all of our lives in one infinite crib built around an infinite fucking baby.
我要离开 And I'm leaving it.
所以才会被视为邪恶 That's what makes me evil --
因为我受够他了 being sick of him.
你如果受够他，就会被视为邪恶 If you've ever been sick of him, you've been evil, too.
瑞克，你真的是为了我才离开乌鸦的吗？ Rick, did you really leave the crows for me?
还是你被他们甩了才回来？ Or did you come back because they dumped you?
这就对了，你也变成邪恶莫蒂了 There you go, kid. Now you're Evil Morty, too.
我们在曲线的这一边 Sooner or later we all are,
迟早都会变邪恶莫蒂 on this side of the curve.
别担心，莫蒂，我们还有 Don't worry, Morty. We still got a way out
他们没想到的离开方式——凤凰行动 they never thought of -- Operation Phoenix.
不就是求死吗？ Doesn't that still mean, like, death?
对，但糗的是他们 Sure, but the joke's on them,
我们发现了离开这星球的方式 'cause we just found a backdoor to getting off this rock.
改变路线 REROUTED. REROUTED.
改变路线… Rerouted. Rerouted. Rerouted.
他妈的老天爷啊 Oh, my fucking God!
快，莫蒂，我们得走了 Come on, Morty. We gotta go.
你可以跟我走 You can come if you want.
不想走就别怪我 Don't blame me if you don't.
在我看来，莫蒂 Ugh! From where I sit, Morty,
这是你最好的选择 that's the best deal on the table.
我其实没有计划 I-I don't have a real plan.
谢了，很高兴你无视了我的建议 Thanks, pal. I-I'm glad you ignored my advice.
这样也好，我骗了你 It's just as well. I lied.
第二个座位是马桶 That second seat's a toilet.
真是混蛋 Oh. Super dick move.
但你坦承说谎还蛮酷的 But weirdly kind of cool to admit it.
天啊，你们还真善于原谅 Geez, you guys really are bred for forgiveness.
走吧 Let's go.
欢迎莅临莫蒂堡
跟大本营道别吧，各位 Say goodbye to the Citadel, fellas.
加速器，需与搭档一同操作
邪恶莫蒂 Ooowee! Evil Morty.
好酷的计谋 That was quite a scheme.
我很好奇有没有邪恶的我 Makes me wonder if there's an evil me out there.
但仔细看看我的人生 But I guess sometimes I look at my life,
我可能根本就不需要邪恶的我 and I may not even need him, 'cause, well,
因为我自己就能把事情搞砸了 guess I've made a pretty big mess of things myself.
我没找回大学的工作 Never got my job at the university back.
记得吗？瑞克逼我练空手道 Remember that? Rick made me do karate.
蛮好笑的 It -- It was kinda funny.
但在那之后，一切就都走下坡了 But I guess things went downhill from there.
我也开始跟艾咪疏远 Started isolating myself from Amy.
我之前什么心事都会跟她说 Used to tell her everything I was feeling,
但我后来就不说了 but then I guess I stopped,
因为我希望她能爱她心目中的我 'cause I wanted her to love who she thought I was,
而不是我即将变成的那个样子 not who I felt myself becoming.
你有想过我们心爱的人如果看清我们真正的样子 Ever think about how horrified the people we love would be
他们会有多惊慌吗？ if they found out who we truly are?
所以我们每天越讲越多谎言 So we just dig ourselves deeper into our lies every day,
最后还是伤害了少数有勇气爱我们的人 ultimately hurting the only people brave enough to love us.
真希望我没这么做 Wish I didn't do that.
真希望我也有勇气爱他们 Wish I was brave enough to love them back.
我也不知道，或许你该试试看 I don't know. Maybe you should try it.
时间并没有我们想像中的那么多 We don't have as much time as we think.