本字幕第一版由Community-137制作 同时发布于SubHD和GitHub 参与的成员有
Rick 我们成功了 我们拿到了 Rick, we did it! We -- We got it!
[翻译] Ng yjz fuga 热心粉丝 季叽馥疾己 走吃元 [校对] fuga se9fault
快点 Morty 进来 Hurry up, Morty. Get in!
- Chachi - 别管Chachi了 Morty Chachi! Fuck Chachi, Morty.
- 你拿到了吗 - 是他帮我越狱的 Did you get it? He helped me escape prison.
转载请务必保留字幕信息 Community-137不对任何利用本字幕生成的视频负责
我问你有没有拿到终极魔方 Did you get the Ultimate Cube?
行吧 是紫色的 Oh, it's purple.
你说过它是紫色的 Y-You said it was purple.
我们的定位不同于专业字幕组 志在号召RM爱好者贡献个人力量 不断完善译文
我是说我的那个是紫的 I said mine was.
我不知道都是紫的 I didn't know they all were.
现在知道了 感谢Chichi And now we do, thanks to Chichi.
如果在观看中遇到任何错误翻译 诚邀您前往GitHub参与改错 该项目的地址是
是Chachi Chachi.
所以 呃 什什什么时候能给我 So, uh, w-w-when do I get it?
https://github.com/fjn308/Rick-and-Morty-Chinese-Subtitles 非常 非常 非常 期待您的参与
给你啥 一个拥抱吗 Get what, a hug?
等我们找到有园艺橡胶管的星球再说吧 Let's find a planet with a garden hose first.
要龙啊 龙啊 A dragon. A dragon.
是你让我翘课去帮你打机器人的 You asked me to cut class and fight robots with you.
我说 “不” I said, "No."
你说 “几百万条生命就在此一战了” You said, "Millions of lives depend on it."
我说 “给我龙我就干” I said, "I'll do it for a dragon."
你说 “啥都行” You said, "Whatever."
我要我的龙 I want my dragon.
Morty 你知道什么人才喜欢龙吗 You know who's into dragons, Morty?
拒绝承认自己信基督的书呆子们 Nerds that refuse to admit they're Christian.
- 我要龙 - 给你双火箭鞋怎么样 I want my dragon. Let me give you rocket shoes.
金刚狼的爪子呢 Let me give you Wolverine claws.
要不来一顶他妈的火箭帽吧 Let me give you a fucking rocket hat.
记得和火箭鞋配套使用 Just be sure to use it with the rocket shoes,
不然你的头会被甩掉 or it'll rip your head off.
我要我的龙 我要我的龙 I want my dragon! I want my dragon!
我要我的龙 I want my dragon!
哦 操 Oh, crap.
完犊子了 Crap.
爸 你还好吗 Dad, are you okay?
你的飞船在马耳他坠毁了 Your ship crashed in Malta.
我没事儿 I'm okay.
谢天谢地 Oh, thank God.
爸 你是不答应Morty要给他条龙 Dad, did you promise Morty a dragon?
次奥奥奥 Fuuuuuuu--
把血滴在这儿 还有这儿 Bleed here and here.
我才不掺和 I'm not co-bleeding.
基于以下条约所述之协定 Under authority of our treaty
“在人类世界与龙的王国之间” 'twixt the realms of dragon and man...
哦天 我还是头一回参加同志婚礼 Oh, my God, it's my first gay wedding.
Summer Summer!
在此 我将这条高贵的龙与他的驾驭者 ...I hereby bind this noble serpent and rider
进行灵魂绑定 at the soul.
这本书上写了和龙有关的咒语以及其他知识 Here's your tome of dragon spells and lore.
上面有你需要的一切 That'll have everything you need.
和你的龙好好玩儿吧 Enjoy your dragon.
听着 龙 这个房子里有如下规则 Okay, dragon, here's the house rules.
吾名茅彻 My name is Balthromaw,
天之破坏者 山之戮徒 breaker of sky, slayer of mountain.
第一条 自己铲屎 Rule one -- You are now scooper of your own poops,
不然我会像拆掉黑光海报一样对待你 or I will take you down like the black-light poster you are.
其他没了 就这一条 I don't got any more rules. That's it.
你应该不想在照片里被圈出来吧 I'm guessing you'd rather not be tagged in this.
好吧 我上钩了 Okay, I'll bite.
那只会说话的猫是什么情况 What's with the talking cat?
是龙 你个二货 It's a dragon, dip knob.
我知道屋外的是龙 I know that's a dragon.
我说的是我房间里的说话猫 I'm talking about the talking cat in my bedroom.
Jerry 为什么我在给Morty一条会说话的龙的同时 又给你一只会说话的猫呢 Jerry, why would I give Morty a talking dragon and you a talking cat at the same time?
那岂不是撞车了 Those concepts bump.
如果你和猫对话了 这事儿确实不正常 If you're talking to a cat, it's an abnormal event
但与我无关 就像你去冥王星 unrelated to me like when you went to Pluto
或者干我女儿 or fucked my daughter.
好吧 也没必要这么乱咬人 Okay, there's really no need to get savage.
所以呢 So?
他说你能说话跟他没啥关系 Eh, he says he has nothing to do with your talking.
- 跟你说过喽 - 所以你为什么会说话呢 Told you. So then why are you talking?
- 这有什么要紧的呢 - 难道不要紧吗 Why should that matter? Why should it not matter?
我怎么能分清是不是我出幻觉了 Rick说这事儿不正常 How do I know I'm not hallucinating? Rick said this is an abnormal event.
你总是需要Rick来告诉你发生什么了吗 Do you always need Rick to tell you what's going on?
也许你该停止发问了 Maybe it's time you stopped asking questions
然后开始去找点儿乐子 and started having fun.
哇哦 行吧 Wow, okay.
- 那 你想要什么呢 - 我想要你带我去机场 So, what do you want? I want you to take us to the airport
然后买两张去佛罗里达的头等舱机票 and get us two first-class tickets to Florida.
为什 我 我可以的 Why, I -- I can do that.
这也太酷了吧 Oh, this is so cool!
恭候您的下个命令 I await your next command.
别别别 没有谁命令谁 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Nobody is commanding anybody.
我更喜欢你我平等相处 共同翱翔天际 那 那你现在想做什么呢 I love soaring through the sky with you as equals. W-What do you want to do?
我想回我的龙窝 趴在我的私家收藏上 I want to enter my lair and sleep upon my hoard
一觉睡到人类灭绝 until the Age of Man expires.
好吧 Okay.
要不咱们取个折中 Split the diff?
你睡20分钟起来 然后咱们继续上天 20-minute nap and soar through the sky?
悉听尊便 As you command.
好嘞 一会儿见 Okay, see you soon.
这 这还是挺有意思的 T-This is fun.
对 可不是嘛 Yeah, right.
这是啥剧来着 《识股寻凶》么 What's this show called, "Ass"?
对 和《识骨寻踪》差不多 区别在于这剧破的是屁股谜案 Yeah, it's like "Bones," but they solve ass crimes.
这个屁股是条线索 This ass is a clue.
这一对儿后来会搞上吗 Are these two gonna hook up?
不会 脑残粉才这样想 No, and only the lame fans want that.
轮不到你教我怎么追剧 Don't tell me how to enjoy things.
- 和她在一起吧 Ass - 人家叫Brenner Go to her ass. That's Brenner.
和Brenner在一起吧 Ass Go to Brenner Ass.
蜜月期结束了吗 Honeymoon over already?
你到底想表达什么 What's that supposed to mean?
你就承认吧Morty 龙太没劲了 Admit it, Morty. Dragons suck.
为什么不是你承认自己是个操蛋的臭老头 Why don't you admit you don't anyone else to be happy
不希望别人过得爽呢 because you're a sad old fart?
我有点好奇是怎么操到蛋的 How do you saddle a fart?
我操 快看 Holy shit. Look!
- 我爱你 Ass - 我也爱你 Brenner -I love you, Ass. -I love you, Brenner.
- 不是吧 - 嘘 No. Shh.
《Morty驯龙记》这出戏肯定是没得再唱了 And that's the end of the "Morty Gets a Dragon" episode.
你是准备大杀四方吗 Are you gonna slay it?
首先 小妞 哥的气场一向是大杀四方 First off, I always slay it, queen.
- 其次 你说得对 - 要我暂停《识股寻凶》吗 Secondly, yes. Should I pause "Ass"?
算了吧 他们已经在一起了 后面没啥意思了 Nah, it's kind of boring now that they're together.
嗨 屌毛 Hey, fuckface.
你他妈能小声点吗 翻个身也行啊 Will you shut the fuck up or at least roll over?
不要啊 烧得我好疼呀 Oh, no, it burns.
我的天呐 这些火啊什么的也太可怕了吧 Oh, my God. Oh, the fire of -- of it all.
要是我能想起来 Ah, if only I had prepared better
龙唯一广为人知的特点 for this terrifying battle by remembering
我就能更好地为这场恶战做准备了 the only thing dragons are known for.
小心点儿别灼伤了肠胃哦 Careful you don't get heartburn.
我用了好多C4炸药来做那个机器人呢 I made that android with a lot of C4.
啊 抱歉 改用你的文法 Oh, I'm sorry. I imbued it with
遥制火药既充于内 （里面装了遥控炸药） a remote-controlled explode-y potion.
你征服了我 You have bested me.
现在起我为你效劳 I am at your service.
能与汝至于所同 乐甚 （很高兴和你达成一致） Good to be on the same parchment.
现在 在我告诉我外孙你跟一架低飞的747私奔了之前 赶紧收拾好你的 Now, I'm gonna tell my grandson you ran off with a low-flying 747 while you pack up your --
等等 这是 你为什么会有 Wait, is this -- Why do you have an original
1989年原版的Ecto Cooler果汁包装盒 Ecto Cooler juice box from 1989?
吾尽藏汝辈觊觎之物 I hoard that which your kind covets.
- 20刀卖不 - 想得美 Give you 20 bucks for it. Nice try.
你这到底还囤了些什么鬼 What the hell else are you hoarding down here?
发财咯 这是《魔幻小战士》系列棒棒糖吗 Cha-ching. "Small Soldiers" Spin Pops?
- 别把它给拆了 - 你当我白痴吗 Don't open that. I'm not an idiot.
你怎么会有未来小子的同名黑胶唱片 Hey, why do you have Future's self-titled album on vinyl?
再仔细看清楚点 Look closer.
我擦 有他的亲笔签名诶 Oh, shit. He signed it.
再仔细点儿 Closer.
他还是用摇头丸和扑热息痛签的吗 He signed it in molly and Percocet?
我可以一整晚都在这浪了 I could spend all night down here.
你要整点火山灰吗 Do you indulge in volcanic fumes?
这能让我嗨起来吗 Is it gonna fuck up my brain?
- 并不能 - 那我也要 No. I'll do it anyway.
这机票还不便宜呢 Hoo, those were not cheap tickets,
但也都无所谓了哈 but, um, I'm down to clown.
呃 还是想问 为为为什么你会说话呢 Uh, w-w-w-why can you talk again, uh?
这不重要 Jerry It's not important, Jerry.
好吧 那为什么要去佛罗里达 Okay, but why Florida?
因为那的人不问问题 Because they don't ask questions.
他们打排球 他们开派对 他们还能乐在其中 They play volleyball, they party, and they have fun.
好吧好吧 Right, right.
你也可以的 Jerry You can do this, Jerry.
我也可以 I can do this.
Jerry 打完这个 Hey, Jerry, after this game,
去我的游艇上转转吧 把你的猫也带上 come to my yacht and bring your cat.
听你的 Jipe You got it, Jipe.
我得承认 你说得对 I got to admit, you were right.
我还得跟你说点事儿 Jerry I've got to tell you something, Jerry.
这是我一生中最快乐的时光 This is the happiest I've ever been in my entire life.
好恶心 谁在这拉屎了 Oh, gross! Who shit in the sand?
有人在这沙子里拉了小小的一坨 Someone took a small shit in the sand
然后随便蹬两脚就当埋起来了 and buried it with, like, two little kicks
搞得像个地雷似的 and just left it here like a land mine.
这图的是什么 到底是谁干的 Why and who?
他拉的 It was him.
救命 Help!
*哟* ♪ Yo ♪
*扑热息痛 耶 摇头丸 扑热息痛 扑热息痛* ♪ Percocets, yeah, molly, Percocets, Percocets ♪
*戴上面具 妈的摘下* ♪ Mask on. Fuck it, mask off ♪
*毒气已散 不要瞌睡* ♪ Gas gone, Never nod off ♪
Morty在召唤我 I'm being summoned by Morty.
啊 是啊 他正发消息跟我说 Yeah. He's, uh, texting me.
那你准备怎么回 Hmm. How are you responding?
我不太想回 Ugh, I tend not to,
或者就发个比较常用的表情包 or maybe I'll send, like, a popular animated GIF
- 用来回啥都能说得通的那种 - 聪明 that could be interpreted in almost any way. Brilliant.
吾召唤汝 I summon thee.
吾召唤汝 茅彻 I summon thee, Balthromaw.
这他妈是啥 What the hell?
泰勒·斯威夫特手怼空气 Taylor Swift pumping her hands in the air?
- 这是啥意思 - 就是你很菜的意思 What does it mean when --It means you're lame.
*哟* ♪ Yo ♪
*扑热息痛 耶 摇头丸 扑热息痛 扑热息痛* ♪ Percocets, yeah, molly, Percocets, Percocets ♪
*戴上面具 妈的摘下* ♪ Mask on. Fuck it, mask off ♪
*毒气已散 不要瞌睡* ♪ Gas gone, Never nod off ♪
老话是怎么讲的来着 What's the saying?
“兽人为活下去而工作 矮人为了工作而活着” "Orcs work to live. Dwarves live to work."
真有病 So dumb.
要是也能有句老话是说我的 我他妈能上天 If there's ever a saying about me, I'll fly into the fucking Sun.
在我们龙看来 你好小哦 Rick Oh, you're small for a dragon, Rick.
呃 小小的我睡在大大的高贵的屎上 Well, I sleep on an extra big pile of awesome shit.
然后就一定会有说你的老话了 Then there will be sayings about you.
你也会被比你小的物种抓住 Your lessers will hunt you down,
他们要么驯服你 要么杀死你 and you will be owned or slain.
这就是大家管这叫濒危物种的原因 老哥 That's why they call it a dying breed, brother.
噢 天哪 Oh, God, ugh.
我的灵魂 My soul. Oh!
好棒 我是 Oh, yeah. I'm --
我是一条龙 I'm -- I'm a dragon.
我爽起来了 Oh! Ugh, I'm bonding.
我也好爽 I'm bonding too.
这他妈什么鬼 What the fuck?
Morty 听我解释 Morty, I can explain.
够了 Stop!
你俩为什么还不停下来 Why are you still doing it?
怎么现在反倒更爽了 Why does it feel better now?
最好别是因为我们被你看着 你站住了哪都别去 I hope it's not because you're watching but don't go anywhere.
你们怎么找到我俩的 How did you find us?
我们循着硫磺味和各种臭味一路找来的 We followed the smell of sulfur and skankery.
- 啊 老哥 啊 - 操你们妈 Oh, man, ugh. Fuck this.
把这不算数的傻逼灵魂绑定契约还给你 You can take this stupid fake soul-bond contract,
然后你们就可以 and you can -- Mm! Ah!
不退不换 No refunds.
你的龙和我姥爷灵魂相绑了 Your dragon soul-bonded with my grandpa.
啊 我去 非常抱歉 Oh, my! I am so sorry.
这是严重的违约行为 That is a total violation.
对 用你说 Yeah, no shit.
这种逼事儿 我立刻就给你处理好 I'll take care of this at once.
你这骚龙 You slut dragon!
你他妈的是怎么回事 What the fuck? You slut.
- 冷静点儿 兄弟 - 骚龙 Chill out, dude. Slut!
- 呃 其实 - 骚龙 Okay, that's --You slut!
- 也犯不着 - 骚龙 Y-You don't have to --Slut!
真他妈丢脸 Shame on you!
丢脸 你这骚龙 大骚逼 Shame, you slut! You slutty, slutty slut!
为啥我他妈的感觉也像在挨你的鞭子 Ow! Why the fuck does it feel like you're whipping me?
因为你的灵魂绑上了这条又脏 Because your soul got tangled in a dirty.... Ah!
又骚 ...slutty... Ow!
又贱的灵魂 ...slut soul! Ow!
跟我回去 Let's go! Ow! Ow!
滚去传送门 你个骚龙 Get to that portal, you slut.
姥爷 快干点啥 不然我可要发推了 Grandpa, do something, or I will tweet,
人设一崩 集体取关 and you will be canceled.
屑巫师甘豆夫 放轻松 把龙还给孩子 Hey, Dandruff the Great, lighten up and give the kid his dragon.
谁在发号施令 By whose command?
你连魔法都不会 You have no magic.
是啊我知道 但我有更实在的力量 Yeah, I know. I have actual power.
不 在这儿不算数 Not here, you don't.
真正的力量得像这样 True power looks like this --
石头怪 stone monster.
- 尝尝被它爆菊 - 哦 你说完了吗 Stick that up your ass. Oh, you're done?
我还以为这岩石怪物是要引见某位物理学家 I thought the rock monster was here to introduce a physicist.
脊髓 呃 释放吗啡 Spinal cord, uh, activate morphine.
我可能要完球了 Oh, I might be fucked.
闪电桥 Lightning bridge!
好了 他撤了 听着 Okay, he's gone. Listen up.
这山上应该还有其他动物 There's probably animals in these hills.
如果你放过我 我可以把你的裆部变成盐碱地给它们舔 If you spare me, I can make your crotch a salt lick.
谢谢你 Morty Thank you, Morty.
你应该能在这个垃圾世界里谋到高位 Figures you'd be higher status in Lame World.
别犯神经了 巢穴破坏者 Get your shit together, Lair Wrecker.
咱们得把茅彻救出来 We need to rescue Balthromaw.
Morty 这个故事的主旨是手足情深重过巨龙 Morty, the moral of this story is bros before dragons.
你明白我的意思吧 You know what I'm talking about?
懂 但你俩灵魂相绑 他死了你也会死 Yeah, if he dies while you're soul bonded, you die too.
Morty 故事的主旨其实是兄弟协力救龙 Morty, the moral of this story is bros rescue dragons.
茅彻 你与多位驾驭者灵魂相绑 Balthromaw, by soul bonding with multiple riders,
违背了龙与人类的契约 you have violated the treaty between dragon and mankind.
龙君判你被吊着脖子 直到吊死 The Dragonarchy sentences you to hang by the neck until dead.
数到三就执行 On the count of three.
一龙君 One Dragonarchy,
二龙君 two Dragonarchy,
二点五 我只是想确定 2 1/2 -- I just wanted to make sure --
三 three!
Rick姥爷 你怎么了 Grandpa Rick, what's wrong?
我的天 巫师肯定是把茅彻给吊起来了 Oh, God. The wizard must have hung Balthromaw!
啊 行吧 咱们能回家了吗 Well, fuck it. Can we go back then?
呃 不 不 要吊死一条龙 W-Well, no, no. It takes, like, 78 years
需要78年的时间 就是说 to hang a dragon to death, so...
啊我去 那也太烦人了 Aw, man. It's so annoying.
你有没有过 比如说 试着吞下一颗巨大的维生素片 You ever, like, try to swallow a really big vitamin
一口水也不喝 with no water? Ugh!
你懂的 就好像 You know, like
真的 就像 特别大的那种 知道吗 really, like, big one, you know,
感觉还挺硌着喉咙的 and it kind of gets, ugh, stuck in your throat?
这这也太烦人了吧 行吧 It's -- It's annoying. All right.
Morty 去启动这个泥巴机器 Morty, go ahead and activate this golem.
真够傻逼的 就这么着吧 Fucking dumb. All right.
谁想被注入点儿 呃 怎么说呢 不合常理的力量吗 Who wants to be infused with, like, uh, unreasonable power?
那我能变成性感弓箭手吗 Oh, can I be, like, a sexy arrow-shooty lady?
当然 啥都行 没啥规矩 我不在意 Yeah, whatever. There's no rules. I don't care.
Morty 你要超能力吗 Morty, you want superpowers?
不用了 我有我的书在 No, thanks. I'm fine. I've got my book.
行吧 那就祝你平安吧 All right. Good luck with that.
咱们走 Let's go.
我靠 这简直就像 God, it's like --
你们有没有被一大口橙汁呛住 Have you ever had too much orange juice,
或者是被蛋黄之类的 or, like, you know how egg yolk
噎住的经历 kind of, like, gets in your throat?
当然 我们懂 Yeah, we get it.
快点 Come on and hurry.
我们还要救茅彻呢 W-We got to free Balthromaw.
我来 Upsulu --I got this.
Morty 那本书帮了你什么忙 Morty, how's that book working out for you,
你个傻逼 you fucking d-d-dumbass?
还真别说 让你们给说中了 Huh. You know what? You're right.
我觉得我能适应这些魔法玩意儿 I could get used to this magic stuff.
茅彻在那儿 There's Balthromaw.
来看这个 看我表演 Check this shit out. Watch this.
对 对 瞄都别瞄 Oh, yeah, yeah. Don't even look.
不要浪费时间瞄准 Don't even bother looking.
让魔法来制导 Just fucking let magic guide your arrow.
Summer 你他妈干啥呢 Summer, what the hell are you doing?
- 严肃点儿啊 - 闭嘴 Morty Take this seriously. Shut the fuck up, Morty.
别说得好像魔法跟能力还有思想有关 Stop trying to pretend like magic involves skill or thought.
Summer 让箭看起来就像从你屁眼儿里射出的一样 Summer, make it look like it's coming out of your butthole.
对对对 Yeah, yeah.
操 我的眼睛啊 Oh, fuck, my fucking eye, oh!
在中世纪 “烦死我了”要怎么说来着 What in the Medieval equivalent of tarnation --
老天啊 Jesus Christ!
Summer 你这个大傻逼 Summer, you fucking idiot!
十二足之力 Power of 12 feet.
操 疼死我了 Uh, ow, fuck!
我收回我说的话 I take it all back!
我讨厌魔法 I fucking hate magic!
骚贱臭贼 Slut thief!
你这个骚贱的贼 You're a slut thief!
有趣的船 有趣的人 Pretty fun boat, fun people.
很好 没人问我为什么能说话 That's great, not being asked why I can talk.
我会说话 但“管它为什么”才是我想要的 I'm a talking cat, but "Who cares why?" is my point.
很高兴和你不为了什么理由说话 Well, nice talking to you for no reason.
Jorge 那个确实棒 Jorge, that was a good one,
但你知道花生酱滴水兽是什么吗 but do you know what a peanut butter gargoyle is?
不知道 那是个啥 Nah, what's that?
老哥 就是你带着妞儿 Dude, it's when you take the chick,
- 让她的脚抵着教堂 - 抱歉打扰 各位 put her feet on a cathedral --Sorry to interrupt, guys.
我就是想确认一下 你们说的都是性爱体位吗 Just want to clarify, are these real sex positions?
因为如果真的是 Because if they are,
那这些姿势为什么能让男性爽起来呢 how are they gratifying to the male at all?
如果都是瞎编的 And if the goal is to make something up,
那为什么不编一些 更有趣的呢 why not make up something...funnier?
我是不是问太多问题了 I'm asking too many questions, aren't I?
真讽刺 How ironic.
从佛罗里达滚远点 你这钻牛角尖儿的猫 Get out of Florida, you overthinking cat.
为什么你不北上去佐治亚慢慢想 Why don't you go overthink shit up north in Georgia?
惹人嫌的猫 Hate that cat.
你有钱打车吗 You got any money for a cab?
为什么开口提问了 Why ask questions?
说好的乐在其中呢 Why not just have fun?
我活该 I deserve that.
注意听好 大龙城居民们 Attention, citizens of Draygon,
一条骚龙逃走了 a slut dragon has escaped.
谁敢包庇 谁就骚贱 Anyone caught harboring it is also a slut.
- 这就是规矩 - 我的眼睛啊 That's how it goes. Ow, my eye.
我好心疼你能感同身受 It pains me that you can feel my pain.
那你为什么不自舔 Yeah, how about you suck your dick,
正好也当给我舔屌了 which is also somehow my dick?
为什么出轨的情侣不能有个快乐的结局啊 Aw, why can't couples that start out cheating ever end up happy?
也许我能在书中找到巫师用来开启传送门的咒语 然后咱们就能回家 M-Maybe I can find that wizard's portal spell in here and g-get us home.
为什么不找找有没有咒语 How about finding the spell that unbinds me
可以让我和你的逼龙解绑 from your fucking dragon?
没有咒语能做到 No spells can do that.
只有巫师能解除 Only the wizard can unbind soul bonds.
你他妈是谁啊 Uh, who the fuck are you?
你还问我 你算老几 骚货 Who are we? Who the fuck are you, bitch?
Debrah 行了 我们是骚龙 Debrah, stop. We are the slut dragons.
我们住在这淫穴 我们在这里交媾 We live in these slut caves where we fuck,
吸屌 舔菊 同时我们真诚地希望你们离开 suck, and eat butt, and we kindly ask that you leave.
如果巫师知道了我们在这 他会把我们关起来 If the wizard knows we are here, he will imprison us.
说得对 我们就爱在这儿 Yeah! We like it down here
因为可以操到毛绒绒的猛犸象 快滚吧 'cause we can fuck woolly mammoths. Get out!
- 滚开 Michael - 闭嘴 Michael Get the fuck out of here, Michael! Shut up, Michael!
只有你操那玩意儿 You're the only one that fucks that thing.
快滚吧 Get the fuck out of here.
好吧 至少我不玩屎 Well, at least I'm not into shit play.
- 滚你大爷的 - 别吵了 -Fuck you! -Hey, wait!
都别吵吵啦 Everybody stop, stop!
听着 这都是我造成的 Listen, this is all my fault.
起因是我想驾驭茅彻 才搞得这么乱套 I started all this when I tried to control Balthromaw,
这样太操蛋了 and that was fucked up.
没有谁该驾驭谁 Nobody should control anyone,
尤其不该驾驭上边那货 especially that guy up there.
还有 你们爱舔菊就舔吧 随意 And, um, you can eat butt if you want, I guess.
- 我 - 我替你说吧 Morty I, uh --I got this, Morty.
行啦 竖起耳朵挺好 各位骚龙 Okay, listen up, slut dragons!
你们难道就不想去骚浪贱吗 Wouldn't you rather be sluts up there,
宁可蜗居烂屌洞穴也不坐享爽逼世界 have a fuck world instead of a fuck cave?
脑子有泡吗 What's wrong with you?
这个马尾辫男子说得有理 This man with a ponytail makes a valid point.
骚浪贱是龙的本性 上面那些龙也都一样 All dragons are sluts deep down, even the ones up above,
但要获得自由就必须杀死巫师 but we would have to kill the wizard to be free.
他的力量太过强大 He is too powerful.
有一种可以杀死巫师的办法 There is a way to kill the wizard.
哟呵 这是哪个神秘角色 Whoa. Who's this mysterious character?
幻影杰克 你已经在你的 Shadow Jacker, you haven't come out
自慰专用洞里呆了上亿年了 of your masturbation cave in eons.
我也该从那个安乐茧里 出来走走了 It's high time I emerge from my cum cocoon.
老这么一边偷听你们制造的噪音一边自慰 I grow tired of eavesdropping and masturbating
真是累死个龙 to the sounds you all make.
我的天啊 可别说了 Jesus Christ. All right.
就不能保持点儿神秘感吗 C-Could use a little more mystery.
嚯 才看清那个大玩意儿 Oh, oh, just now seeing the staff.
我们一直凑不够能对抗巫师的骚货 We've never had enough sluts to defeat the wizard.
现在刚好来了四个新鲜柔软的骚货 正出现在家门口 终于能有个机会了 Now, with the four fresh, wet sluts that just landed on our doorstep, we finally have a chance.
所以杀死巫师就能让灵魂解绑是吗 So killing the wizard will break my soul bond.
没错 这样能解决所有问题 Yes, it solves all of our problems.
我们要来一场十骚魂交 We must begin a 10-slut soul orgy...
等等等一下 你说啥 Wait, wait, what?
来组成一只全骚骚凤巨龙 骚货们 ...and become the all-slut slut phoenix dragon, Slut.
等下啊 慢点 慢点 Wait, wait, wait, wait. Hold on. Hold on.
书里肯定有还有别的内容 There's got to be something else in here.
肯定还有别的办法 等我找一下啊 There's got to be another way. Just give me a second.
好多内容我还没看过呢 I haven't read all this yet.
就不要和你们爸妈说起这档子事了吧 Maybe don't tell your parents we did this?
求放过啊 Oh, oh, no. Oh -- Wait, please, no!
冰咒 冰咒 Ice spell! Ice spell!
天呐 Oh, God!
冰咒让火更持久了 That just made it last longer.
烧得更慢了啊 Ah, it burns longer!
本来能死痛快点儿啊 Ah, I could have died fast!
谢谢你们 陌生人 Thank you, strangers.
这上边如今是你们的世界了 赋权快乐 Well, it's your world now. Have fun with empowerment.
貌似大家都挺享受的是吧 It seems to make everyone that gets it really happy.
走了 各位 我要用这个开一扇传送门 All right, guys. I'll use this to open a portal.
通往地球的传送门 开 Uh, open a portal to Earth.
赶紧他妈的撤吧 Let's get the hell out of here fast.
我的天 瞅瞅这啥破玩意 God, look at this piece of shit.
怎么还有符文 谁会在传送门上写符文 Why is there writing on it? Who writes on a portal?
早知道就要金刚狼爪子了吧 Morty Should've taken me up on those Wolverine claws instead, Morty.
等会 龙怎么也跟来了 Wait, why did the dragon come?
我寻思咱们是不是还能一起玩耍 I was thinking we could hang out?
啊 是哈 嚯 老天 Oh, yeah. Whoa, Jesus.
你们老爸一直在给我发消息 Your dad's been texting me this whole time?
他和一只猫在机场 Uh, he's at an airport with a cat.
好吧 这就比较 哇哦 Okay, that -- that sounds -- Wow.
这样吧 我最好还是去接他 You know, I better check on him.
闹出了个季终集一样的好戏 懂吗 Big season finale right there, you know?
我最好 这就走 Better, uh -- Better go right now.
还有我告诉过你别要龙 Morty Also, I told you not to get a dragon, Morty.
都他妈怪你 傻屌 最差劲的冒险 This is your fault. Fuck you, worst adventure ever.
最差劲的冒险 Worst adventure ever.
我觉得你也该上自己的路了 茅彻 Yeah, uh, I guess you better be on your way too, Balthromaw.
我一直在寻思着 Well, I've been thinking.
你在龙穴里说的那番话让我很有共鸣 What you said back there in the cave really resonated with me.
我们是不是可以重新来过 Maybe we could try again?
实话实说 发觉世间万物究其内核 都会回到性 这让我恶心坏了 Look, to be honest, I'm kind of grossed out with the sexual nature of how everything unfolded.
真没想到龙还有这么强的性欲 I didn't know how sexual dragons were.
我顶多是想来一次类似《龙与地下城》的冒险 懂吗 I kind of just wanted to do some D&D stuff, you know?
并和自己的姐姐 姥爷 And have a soul orgy with your sister and grandpa
还有遇到的所有龙来一发魂交 对吗 and every dragon we could find, yeah?
才没有 你就不能快点走吗 No, look, can you please just go?
我我我非常想洗个澡 I-I-I really want to shower.
那就趁我还没走 体验一把快速魂勃 Maybe a quick soul bone before I go.
不不不用了 I-I-I-I'm good.
我只想一个人静静 I think I just need to be alone
卸下这些心理负担 and sort of un-- unpack all this.
那你姥爷呢 What about your grandpa?
他会想来一发吗 我可以等他 Would he want to? I can wait.
不会的 你还是走吧 No, I think you better go.
我想赶紧把澡洗了 I-I'm gonna take that shower.
如果你是为了体验温热液体在身上流动 If it's just warm liquid you want trickled over your body,
- 没准我可以 - 不用 听着 I could maybe -- No, no, look.
我只是为了让自己干净 I just want to be clean!
今天的经历让让让我觉得自己脏死了 I-I-I feel dirty after everything that's happened.
那就来个快速手冲好了 How about a quick hand bond?
- 我可喜欢了 - 给自己留个台阶下吧 我我我可关门了啊 I like doing it. You're embarrassing yourself. I-I-I'm closing the door.
玩弄灵魂的垃圾 Fucking soul teasers.
这车挺酷 我喜欢找乐子 This is a cool car. I like having fun.
就是这样 一直开 That's what I'm talking about. Keep it moving.
别问我为什么能说话 Don't ask why I can talk.
当然 当然 For sure. For sure.
咱们要去哪儿 Where are we going?
得往量子水箱里加一点儿纳米水了 Quantum radiator might need some nanowater.
我 我们可以舒展下双腿 We -- We can stretch our legs.
所以 你为什么能说话 So, uh, why can you talk?
这是什么 What is this?
我要你定住别动来做个规整的思维扫描 I need you in one spot for a clean mind scan.
思维扫描 听着 是你想太多了 Mind scan? Look, you're overthinking it.
有一只会说话的猫出现 意义就在于让你学会找乐子 The point of a talking cat is to have fun.
我发现你在暗示我不能问你问题 I find the insinuation that I can't ask questions
还从这种居高临下中找到了乐子 andhave fun condescending.
- 你感受到居高临下了吗 Jerry - 确实 Y-You find it condescending, Jerry? Yes.
- 好吧 我来自外太空 满意了吗 - 不 All right. I'm from outer space. Happy? No.
你看就是这样 没有一个答案会让人满意的 Exactly, because no answer would be satisfying.
因为你在说谎 Because it's a lie.
咱们来看看真相 Let's see the truth.
这里面是 What in the...
狗娘养的 Oh, son of a bitch.
- Jerry 别 - 我想看 Jerry, don't. I want to see.
不 你不想 No, you do not.
不 不 不 不 不 不 不 不 不 不 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
事到如今 也许 At least now maybe --
快给老子滚啊 Get the hell out of here!
但我没地方可去了啊 But I've got nowhere to go.
- 快滚 - 快滚 Get out! Get out!
滚啊 Get out!
我居然让他在放了我父母照片的房间里待着 He was in my home where I keep photos of my parents.
Jerry 我有个装置 Jerry, I have a device.
能让咱们忘了这些 I-It can make us forget.
不 我认为我们不该忘 No, I don't think we should forget,
这个不该忘 not this.
总得有个人来记着 Someone has to remember.
会有的 Someone will.
咱们的飞船坠毁了吗 Did we crash?
那只猫哪儿去了呢 Where's the cat?
他啊 呃 跑了 He, uh, ran away.
- 你给他做思维扫描了吗 - 做了 Did you scan his brain? Yeah.
你弄清楚他为什么会说话了吗 Did you find out why he can talk?
他是外太空来的 He's from outer space.
外太空吗 Outer space?
那只小 That little --
是哦 可真他妈操脑啊 Of course, total mind fuck.
看 这不就是传说中的拽梗吗 Now, that's what I call draggin'.
- 什么 - 拽个梗而已 What? It's a joke.
拽梗就是你们龙 龙拽着个什么玩意儿 You're a dragon draggin' your stuff.
我懂 I understand.
那请问 你过得怎么样啊 So, how you doing?
我对你们人类累觉不爱 I grow weary of you humans.
50块钱呢 你对50块钱也累觉不爱吗 How about 50 bucks? You weary of 50 bucks?
我正想背着老婆偷腥 I'm trying to cheat on my wife.
想找点魔幻的 奇妙的 I'm looking for a little magic, a little fantasy.
你一定帮得上忙 我们互相帮助吧 怎么样 You could use some help. Let's help each other, huh?
50块哦 50 bucks.
- 骚货 - 棒 Slut! Nice.
你能说人话是有原因的吗 Is there a reason you can speak?
是的 而且我对此感到羞耻 Yeah, and I'm ashamed of it.
那就不提它了 Then speak of it no more.
你想吃点东西吗 也许还想稍微来一炮 Do you wish to eat, maybe bond a little?
好啊 我可以来一炮的 Yeah, I could bond.
你去佛罗里达要飞多久来着 How long does it take you to fly to Florida?
看懂了么 Did you get any of that?