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别放过任何一只 Morty Don’t let any of those things get away, Morty.
如果他们的DNA进入地球的食物链中 It their DNA gets into Earth’s food chain,
[翻译] pendz 阿黛拉 冠风 阿又又 番茄小饼 守望白塔 男蜜大尾尾 Vaporeon 胡子君
我们整个物种都可能绝育的 our entire species could be sterilized.
那为什么不杀了它们 Then why aren’t we killing them?
是哦 等我想让某个物种绝育的时候 Right, next time I need a species sterilized,
[校对] 豆 朽 [后期] 天灵没有盖 [压制/总监] 怪查理
谁能帮我干这活 你吗 who’s gonna do it for me, you?
哇 Rick -[ Humming] -Whoa! Rick!
那 那是守护信号灯吗 I-Is that the Vindibeacon?
守护者们召唤我们去集结了 We’re being called to assemble by the Vindicators!
这种字面意义上"冒险的召唤" 我拒绝 Morty I refuse to answer a literal call to adventure, Morty.
- 让它转到语音信箱吧 - Rick -Let it go to voicemail. -Rick,
只有在宇宙受到威胁时 守护者才会发出召唤 the Vindicators only call when the universe itself is at stake.
他们是抵挡邪恶的第一道防线 They’re the first line of defense against evil.
他们是无人守卫之人的守卫者 They’re the guardians of the unguarded!
他们是自己新闻稿的撰写人 Morty They’re the writers of their own press releases, Morty.
他们是一群戏精 事情闹大时 They’re a bunch of drama queens that spend an hour talking
他们花一个小时嘴炮 二十分钟乱跳 and 20 minutes jumping around while shit blows up.
他们只是昙花一现 They’re a phase.
我们搞过一次 那年夏天的大热点 现在就让它安然过气吧 We did one.It was the big event of that summer.Let it die.
我 Morty Smith 援引我的权利 I, Morty Smith, invoke my right
每十次Rick与Morty的冒险 自主选择一次 to choose one in every 10 Rick and Morty adventures.
- 我干他妈啊 - 读了哭去吧 -God fuckin’ damn it! -Read ‘em and weep.
好吧 但是别说我没警告你 Fine. But don’t say I didn’t warn you.
好耶 守护者指挥舰 信号已接收 Yes! Vindicator Command Ship -- beacon received.
守护者联盟II要来啦 呜呼 We’re doing Vindicators Twoooooo!
哎呀 -[ Squish! -Whoops.
呃 Morty 你大概需要冷冻些精子了 Uh, Morty, you might want to freeze some sperm.
守护者 SUPERNOVA: Vindicators,
灭世者回来了 Woridender is back,
而这次 他要终结的不止是各个世界 and this time he’s out to end more than worlds.
我们有理由相信他的要塞位于 We have reason to believe his stronghold is located on...
- 我的蛋上 - Rick -My balls. -Rick!
旱地星系 the Terraneous system.
一旦到达范围内 万蚁将扫描费洛蒙活动 Once in range, Million Ants will scan for pheromone activity,
引导我们找到他基地的位置 which should lead us to the location of the base.
哦 那是万蚁 Oh, that’s Million Ants.
我从这儿看不见蚂蚁 I can’t see the ants from over here.
我寻思那就是个 呃 屎人 I just assumed that was, uh, turd man,
蠕动的屎人 wiggly turd man.
-Rick, sTop! -SUPERNOVA: Rick,you have something to add to the briefing?
- Rick 别说啦 - Rick 这次会议你还有什么要补充的吗 -Rick, sTop! -SUPERNOVA: Rick,you have something to add to the briefing?
有啊 就一些人物设计上的意见 Uh, yeah, just a few more design notes.
嗯 这个家伙 这个 这 呃 Urn, this guy, the, uh -- the, uh...
我叫机械鳄 I am Crocubot.
对哦 机械鳄 [Laughs] Right, Crocubot.
所以 你一半是冷血无情的爬行动物 一半是 So, you’re half cold, unfeeling reptile, half...
同样冷血 also cold...
- 同样无情的机器 - 没错 -equally unfeeling machine. -Yes.
哇 所以你的起源故事是 Wow. So, your origin is what?
你你你掉进了装满冗余重复的大缸 Y-You fell into a vat of redundancy?
牛啊 [ Laughs] Got damn!
菜菜 我们在开会呢 Noob Noob, we’re having a briefing.
请容我继续说 Rick If I can continue, Rick.
我预计会遇到精密的安保设施 I anticipate sophisticated security measures.
相信这方面你能出力 I trust you can be of service there.
让我查查我的能力和弱点 Well, let me check my list of powers and weaknesses.
能力是能做任何事 但只在我想做的时候 Ability to do anything but only whenever I want.
嗯 听着像个适合我的活 Yeah, that sounds like a job for me.
我希望他有能力检查下他的态度 I wish he had the ability to check his attitude.
Alan Rails 女士们先生们 Alan Rails, ladies and gentlemen.
自从他的双亲在一次铁路事故中悲惨去世 After his parents’ tragic death in a railroad accident,
他学会了召唤幽灵列车 he gained the power to summon ghost trains.
也不全是坏事 It's not all bad, though.
至少他的父母不用看到成年的儿子整天挂着个哨子(火车汽笛) They were spared having to see their grown son wear a whistle.
太他妈逗了 Got damn!
谢谢你菜菜 这家伙听懂了 Thanks, Noob Noob. This guy gets it.
Vance Maximus 变节的恒星战士 Vance Maximus, Renegade Star Soldier.
对不起来晚了 之前在享受欢乐时光(酒吧饮料减价) Sorry I’m late. It was happy hour.
欢乐时光 -[ Laughter] -Happy hour.
我也因为喝酒迟到 Uh, I was also late because of my drinking
提到这点的时候 却没得到任何赞赏 and mentioned it to zero applause.
Rick Sanchez 恐怖修补者 Rick Sanchez. Tinkerer of Terror.
说起来真饶舌 Man, that’s hard to say.
这是 Morty 对吧 And...Morty, right?
- 哇 没错 - 我对孩子从来过目不忘 -Whoa, yeah! -I never forget a kid.
准备好了吗守护者们 让我们三发全中吧 What do you say, Vindicators? Let’s make this three for three.
- 哈哈 - 好 -Haha! -Yes!
他说"三发全中"吗 Did he say “three for three”?
他说他对孩子从来过目不忘吗 Did he say he never forgets a kid?
你说的是二发全中吧 Vance You mean two for two, right, Vance?
其实我们在去年夏天组织了第二次任务 Actually, we assembled a second time last summer
对抗末世毁灭者 to fight Doomnomitron.
所以这是守护者联盟III So this is...Vindicators Three?
守护者II没有邀请我们 And you guys did Vindicators Two.. .without us?
我感受到了 不安 缺爱 I sense.. .insecurity.
你确定不只是因为附近有野餐吗 Are you sure there’s not just a picnic nearby?
他算是找到观众了 I guess he found his crowd.
真的很没料哎大伙儿 Pretty toothless stuff, guys.
我希望你目前险冒得还算满意 Morty I hope you’re happy with the adventure so far, Morty.
这群人比上次的还无聊 These guys are even lamer than last time.
上次我们不在你忘了吗 We weren’t here last time, remember?
上次的守护者任务没有带我们 They did a whole Vindicators without us.
而且死了很多人 A bunch of them got killed, too.
武士刀姬 卡吕普索 绿魔神 They lost Lady Katana, Calypso, Diablo Verde --
可惜 刚才的队伍确实不那么多元了 Yikes. Yeah, things did feel less diverse in there.
这篇文章说我们没有被邀请的原因是 This article says the reason we weren’t involved was...
"性格不合" “personality conflicts.”
不要担心 他们很喜欢你 Morty Don’t worry, Morty. They love you.
超级英雄们都需要一个没见过世面的无名之辈 Superheroes need a wide-eyed unremarkable to tag along
全程跟着对他们做的事大惊小怪 and react to everything
好像他们有多了不起 like it’s mind-blowing.
我想 "性格不合"指的是 l...think the personality conflict might have been...
你 you?
天啊 [Spits] Jesus.
这得多带劲 How awesome is that?
他们宁愿牺牲三个有色人种英雄 I mean, they wanted to not need me so bad,
也不想要我加入 they murdered three innocent heroes of color
结果这次还是得叫我回来 and they still had to bring me back?
Rick 既然这是我的冒险 Rick, since it’s my adventure and all,
你能不能帮我个忙 could you do me a favor?
我来参加这个冒险本身就是在帮你忙 Morty Uh, the adventure is the favor, Morty.
我睡在这个床单上就是帮你忙 Me sleeping on these linens is the favor.
我们到底在守护个什么 舒适感 I mean, w-w-what -- what are we vindicating? Comfort?
Rick 这让我很郁闷 Rick, this really bums me out.
发现这些人不喜欢我们 太丢脸了 It-It’s embarrassing to find out these guys don’t like us.
为什么 Morty 比他们强得多的Gagoo怪 Why? Morty [burps] I defeat gagoos
我每周都要手刃好几个 more powerful than these guys every week.
对 但它们不是英雄 Yeah, but not heroes.
得了吧 他们只是叫自己英雄以此 Oh, please, they just call themselves heroes so they can --
我叫他们英雄 Rick 他们是我的英雄 我的 I’m calling them that, Rick! They’re my heroes. Mine!
萝卜青菜各有所爱 Huh, no accounting for taste.
我要去喝一杯 I’m gonna go get a drink.
早上好 守护者们 PA SYSTEM: Good morning, Vindicators.
飞船已抵达旱地星系 Ship has arrived at Terraneous system.
所有守护者请前往 简报室 All Vindicators report to the. . . briefing room.
那个 那个厅里面的 The -- The room from the, uh -- the --
不是那个 呃 会议室 Uh, it’s the d-it’s a different room than --than conference room.
抱歉 今天是我作为广播系统的第一天 I’m sorry, it’s my first day as a PA System.
新手日常紧张 First-day jitters. [Imitates radio crackle]
哦天呐 Oh, God.
早上好 看样子你外公度过了一个漫长的夜晚啊 Good morning. Looks like your grandpa had a long night.
机械鳄 要不你送Sanchez先生 Crocubot, why don’t you escort Mr. Sanchez
去个更舒服的地方吧 to a more comfortable spot
这样别人就能 开始清理他的排泄物了 so that someone can[Sighs] clean up his diarrhea.
哦 马上就要执行第一次任务了 我好紧张 Oooh, I’m nervous about my first mission!
实际上 菜菜 我们有一个新任务给你 Actually, Noob Noob, you have a new mission.
- 遵 要命 - 守护者们 准备着陆 - Got damn.- Vindicators, prepare for arrival.
Morty 我跟其他守护者今天早上聊了一下 Morty, the Vindicators and I had a chat this morning,
恐怕我们要做一点小小的改变了 and I’m afraid we need to make a little change.
我 我完全能理解 实在太抱歉了 [Sighs] I-I totally get it. I-I’m so sorry.
你的确应该说抱歉 You should be,
因为你成天穿着那件黄色T恤 running around in a yellow T-shirtlike
好像你不是我们的一员那样 太丢脸了 you’re not one of us.Disgraceful.
我 我不是个超级英雄啊 I-I-I’m not a superhero.
请坐 老大 Cop a squat, chief.
宇宙中的每个人都是英雄 Everyone in the universe is a hero.
你所要做的 就是辨明正义与邪恶 All you have to do is know the difference between good and bad
然后坚持正义 and root for good.
但Rick说正义与邪恶都是人造的概念 Rick says good and bad are artificial constructs.
嗯 我觉得 他可能需要这么想吧 Yeah, well, I get the feeling...he kind of needs that to be the case.
不一起来了吗 菜菜 Not coming, Noob Noob?
哦 不了 我在这还有事要做 [Grunts] Ohh! No, uh, I got stuff to do here.
警卫无人机来袭 VANCE: Security drones inbound.
众星之母 赐予我你的愤怒 [Echoing ] Star grant me your Mother, wrath.
全体上车 -All aboard! -[ Whistle blows]
- 机枪炮台 - 你没事吧 -Gun turret. -Are you all right?
没事的 我只损失了400只蚂蚁 Yes. I only lost 400 ants.
我的蚁后正在产下更多蚂蚁 My queen is laying more.
我已经再次恢复到 "万蚁"了 I am back to...one Million Ants.
谁把Sanchez叫醒吧 Someone wake up Sanchez.
哦 天呐 Ugh! Oh, Christ.
- Rick 你醒了 - 勉强算吧 -Rick. You’re up. -Barely.
有一个自动机枪炮台在向我们开火 We’re taking fire from an automated turret.
- 你能让它失灵吗 - 嗯嗯 -Can you bring it offline? -U h-huh.
- 天呐 现在好多了 - Rick -Uh, my God, that’s better. -SUPERNOVA: Rick!
嘿 如果我看不见我是没办法帮忙的 Hey, I can’t help if I can’t see.
其实我用幽灵列车也行的 I could’ve just used a ghost train.
是吗 真没想到 你原本可以用幽灵列车的啊 Really? You don’t say. You would’ve used a ghost train?
嘿 大家伙 这个幽灵列车男 Hey, everybody, the ghost train guy
本来可以用幽灵列车的呢 would have used a ghost train.
- 老兄 去你妈的 - 有咖啡吗 -Man, fuck you. -Is there coffee?
嘿 Morty 能帮个忙吗 Hey, Morty, can you be a pal?
外公把他的咖啡壶落在飞船上了 Grandpa left his coffee maker on the ship,
你见过的 那个法压壶 you know, the French press thing --
自己去拿吧 Get it yourself.
今天早上有点暴躁啊 是不是 Little extra [burps] snippy this morning, aren’t you?
咱们把注意力集中在任务上 行不行 Just focus on the mission, all right?
哦哦 对不起 你是对的 Oh, oh, oh, I’m sorry. Oh, you’re right.
好的 严肃认真 要特别严肃对待这个任务 对吧 Ohh, real serious. Gotta take it real serious, huh?
去他个蒸汽机车 他们全都死了 Son of a Steam Engine. They’re all dead.
为什么灭世者要这样对他自己的人 以及几个女人 Why would Worldender do this to his own men...-and several women? -
嗯 他是灭世者嘛 Well, he is the Worldender.
终结世界的家伙 这就是他做的事 The guy ends worlds. Kind of his thing.
- 哦 真是可怕 - 真要保持警惕 Ohh, real scared. Real fuckin’ on alert,
在这里要高度警戒 high alert over here.
当心 Watch out!
这他妈是什么 What the tuck?!
是灭世者 他怎么了 It’s Woridender! What happened to him?
我感应到他的生命力正在衰退 I sense his life force is fading.
万蚁 女士们先生们 RICK: Million Ants, ladies and gentlemen.
其能力和一双人类肉眼没差别的蚁群 The ant colony with the power of two human eyes.
好吧 短暂的任务 不错的任务 RICK: All right. Short mission. Good mission.
记得Alan想用幽灵列车的吗 Remember when Alan wanted to use a ghost train?
在守护者联盟IV的时候再见吧 Morty See you guys in Vindicators Four. Morty?
Rick 不管是谁做了这些都是比灭世者更大的威胁 Rick, whoever did this is an even bigger threat than Woridender.
我们不能现在离开 We can’t leave now.
他说得对 这事还远没有结束 He’s right. This is far from over.
好吧 你们好好玩 Well, have fun with that,
但是Morty和我得去见一个彗星女 一个单轨列车人 but Morty and I have to meet a Lady Comet, a Monorail Man,
俩屁眼儿和一完整的鳄鱼 一小时内就要见 Two Assholes, and a Full Alligator in like an hour.
妈的 Shit.
我感应到了 I sense the presence
一个更邪恶的存在 of a greater evil.
试音 检查 一 二 DRUNK RICK: Check, check. One, two.
好了 在录了吗 很好 Okay. Is it recording? Good.
你们好 守护者 Hello, Vindicators.
欢迎来到你们的审判日 宝贝 Welcome to your reckoning, baby!
这下坐实了 Weip, it’s official.
昨晚我喝得太多了 I had too much to drink last night.
你们在看这个吗 你们是守护者 If you guys are watching this,you’re, you know, the Vindicators.
- 所以 现在我们知道 - Rick 到底怎么回事 老兄 -So, now that we know... -Rick? What’s going on, buddy?
显然 我昨晚喝大了跑来这里 Obviously, I came here last night during a blackout.
"显然" “0bviously”?
你到这里打败了我们的宿敌 You came here and defeated our arch nemesis
全程醉得根本不记得做了这事 while so drunk, you don’t remember doing it?
你觉得这叫"显然" That’s something “obvious” to you?
听着 我是比你们更复杂了点 Look, I’m a Iit[burps] -- little more complex than you guys,
而且 无意冒犯 但我一直怀疑 and, no offense, but I’ve always suspected
你们花一年做的很多事 that a lot of what you do in a year
其实都能花几个小时就解决 could be knocked out in a couple of hours.
所以我就想 为什么不帮你们把你们的工作干了呢 So I thought why not just do your job for you
这样我们就能来玩一个有趣的小游戏了 so we can have a little fun game.
Rick 这 这是在玩"电锯惊魂"吗 Rick, is -- is this a “Saw” thing?
你真的要拿守护者玩电锯惊魂 Are you seriously Sawing the Vindicators?
Morty 我是一个酒鬼 不是一个杀人狂魔 Morty, I’m a drunk, not a hack.
如果你违反规则 输掉游戏或者试图离开 If you break the rules, lose the game, or try to leave,
你将会死 you will die.
就像在"电锯惊魂"里一样 Like in [burps] “Sawwww.”
我觉得我们已经看够了 Well, I-I-I think we’ve seen enough.
我来看看怎么关掉这个 Ill just figure out how to unplug this.
好了 我们开始吧 第一间房 Okay, here we go. Room number one.
银河系无人不知守护者们 The Vindicators are known throughout the galaxy,
但是他们了解他们自己吗 你了解你自己吗 but do they know yourselves -- do you know yourselves?
匹配你的 你的狗屁 你的 你的花招 Match your -- your shit, your -- your gimmicks,
和你的脸 就能解开 这是一道连线题 with your faces, and y-you get it.It’s a matching thing.
而且要在三分钟内完成 否则你们都会死 And do it in three minutes or you’ll [burps] all die.
去他的 我不会玩他的游戏 Screw this. I’m not playing his game.
我会为我们找到离开这里的路 I’m gonna find us a way out of here.
哇喔 哇喔 哇喔 等等 Vance Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on, Vance.
他说过了 你要是离开的话就会死 He said you’d die if you tried to leave.
说明这里有诱杀装置 That means there’s booby traps.
你怎么能表现得好像 那个人不是你一样 Why are you acting like that’s not you?
我"断片儿"了 你听不懂吗 What part of “blackout” don’t you understand?
你不是喝酒吗 I thought you drank.
喝酒应该是很拽酷 或者很性感的那种 Like cool drinking! Like sexy drinking,
而不是你这种 喝得像个发神经的拖车公园流氓 not this psycho, trailer-park shit!
拖车公园常常是地痞流氓和瘾君子的聚集地
Vance 冷静点 Vance, stay calm.
你现在是老大了是吧 就因为我们给了你件夹克 Oh, so you’re the leader now, because we gave you a jacket?
你是那个有学习障碍的小孩 拍宣传照才用得上 You’re the learning-disabled kid we do photo ops with.
- 好吧 - 我去 - 但是 - 好吧 -Okay, ouch, but -- -Okay, this --
这里让我浑身难受 我需要空间 this is triggering me. I need space.
我我要离开这里 I-I need space from this!
给我一个 -[ Grunts] -Give me one reason
不捏爆你的气管的理由 why I shouldn’t crush your windpipe.
因为我的表皮交织了纳米纤维防护网 Because my epidermis is laced with a nanofiber defense mesh.
而且 我说了 我不记得昨晚的事了 And because, like I said, I don’t remember last night.
都让你别他妈把这个老干尸请回来了 I told you not to invite this mummified motherfucker back.
Alan 我并不以我在这里所做的事为傲 Alan, I’m not proud of what’s happening here,
但如果你继续攻击我 but if you keep coming at me,
那辆幽灵火车上又要多一位乘客了 there’s gonna be another passenger on that ghost train.
大伙儿 我做出来了 Guys! I figured it out.
恭喜你 回答正确 Congrats! You did i[burps]t!
就是个梗 所有的描述词对你们每个人都适用 It was a bit. All of the descriptors apply to all of you.
醉酒Rick是想说 Drunk Rick’s point
你们彼此并没有多么特别或多么不同 is that none of you are very special or different.
这也是他一直的观点 That’s always his point.
我们赶紧通过这里 Let’s just get through this as quickly as possible.
然后再慢慢跟你们俩算账 Then we’ll deal with the two of you.
我们俩 看你做的好事 The two of us? I hope you’re proud of yourself.
的确是好事啊 我他妈的拯救了全宇宙 Uh, I kind of am. I saved the goddamn universe.
这不是问题所在 Rick That’s not the issue, Rick!
我要是没救下来 那不就是了吗 Ahh, it would’ve been if I hadn’t!
守护者说他们的工作 The Vindicators say their job
是与隐藏在各处的邪恶势力斗争 is to fight evil wherever it hides,
但他们没有做到 选出那个 but they don’t -- pick the location you’ll --
他们从来不提的地名 you’ll never hear them even mention,
因为与黑暗斗争 就是与自己斗争 because to fight darkness is to fight yourself
哦 我知道 多里安5号星球 Oh! I know this. Dorian 5!
机械鳄 别过去 Crocubot, don’t!
不可能是别的答案 There’s no other possible answer.
我的机械和爬虫类逻辑非常有把握 My mechanical and reptilian logic are certain of it.
哦 -[ Squish! -Oh!
看来他鳄的部分比机械的部分多 Huh! I’m seeing more croc than bot here.
该死 God damn it!
- 多里安5号星球上发生了什么 - 没什么 -Uh, what happened on Dorian 5? -Nothing!
没什么 我们灭杀了一整个星球 Nothing? We exterminated a planet.
等等 什么 W-Wait. Huh?
末世毁灭者当时藏在那里 他会变形 Doomnomitron was hiding there! He’s a shapeshifter.
毁灭多里安5号是杀死他唯一的方法 Destroying Dorian 5 was the only way to kill him.
同志们 大家都知道是什么了 Come on, guys, we’re all thinking it.
别 Don’t -- [Coughs]
别逼我说出来 Don’t make me say it.
好吧 又得我上 Oh, okay. This again.
其实 我可以帮你做一个装置 You know [burps] I could have made you a device
从轨道上探测出末世毁灭者的位置 小菜一碟 to detect Doomnomitron from orbit like [snaps fingers] that.
我是想要你回来的 是Alan不想 I’m not the one that didn’t want you back. Alan was.
如果你再敢把这些死人的帐 算在我的头上 If you lay those deaths at my doorstep one more time --
不准威胁她 Do not threaten her.
恭喜你 回答正确 -[ Ding! ] -Congrats, you did it.
"以色列"又是个什么鬼 What the hell is “Israel”?
就是个Rick喝大了后喜欢 I-It’s just something Rick starts talking about
念叨的东西 when he’s blackout drunk.
啥 什么意思 W-What? In w-- In w-w-what way?
我想说什么 Like, w-w-what's my point?
某种意义上你什么都没说 In a way that has no point.
你只会念叨一些军事预算和联合国的事情 You just babble about defense budgets and the United Nations
然后就不省人事了 and then you pass out.
说清楚了 我有时候 So, to be clear, I sometimes reference
会提及该话题在地缘政治上的复杂性 the geopolitical complexities of the Topic,
但这和反犹太可不是一回事 which is not the same as going to an anti-Semitic place.
这事和我根本没关系 I have no stake in this.
我也是 我只是说 恰恰相反 I don’t, either. I’m -- I’m just saying, if anything,
喝醉的那个我或许超级支持以色列 the drunk version of me is probably so supportive of Israel
他想要给它最好的 he wants what’s best for it and --
嘿 我可不管这种事 你自己操心去吧 Hey, man, I’m not touching this. You do you.
Aloha 在夏威夷的意思是哈喽和拜拜 Aloha.. .means hello and goodbye in Hawaii.
但是 aloha的意思 But, uh, aloha means --
和这间屋子没什么关系 has nothing to do with this room.
我真是喝高了 [Coughs] I’m so fuckin’ drunk.
好啦 是这样的 Ugh, okay. Here’s the deal.
我想歇会儿眼睛 I-I want to rest my eyes for a little bit.
我不会睡着 I’m -- I’m not going to sleep.
我只是需要休息一下眼睛 I just -- just need to rest my eyes,
所以这次简单点 so let’s make this one simple.
只需要 投几个三分球 Just. . . try to hit some three-pointers.
这样吧 你必须射中 五个三分球 Let’s say.. .you have to hit. . . five three-pointers
在 五分钟的时限之内 要么 我也不知道 in. . . five minutes. . . or -- I don’t know --
整个这个地方 整个星球都会 the whole place -- the whole planet will get blown up
被一个中微子炸弹炸上天 -with a n-neutrino bomb. -[ Beep]
而且你们要以此反省自己 And try to make it a-a lesson about yourselves,
比如 想想自己多么自私 like -- like how selfish you are --
之类的事情 are or something.
还有 夏威夷 And also Hawaii.
你们这些人去投篮 [Sighs] You guys hit the baskets.
我去拆那个借酒性装上的中微子炸弹 I’ll disarm the drunkenly improvised neutrino bomb.
有40%的可能这是个哑弹 There’s a 40% chance it’s a dud,
但你们还是应该离远点 but y-you should still stay back.
Morty 你拆过多少 Morty, how many of these --
太多了 Rick 太多了 Too many, Rick! Too many!
老天 我今天真被说教了不少次 Man, I am really getting high-roaded today.
三分球进了 -[ Ding ] -That’s a three-pointer.
- 好球 - 谢谢你 -Nice shot. -Thank you.
你们两个配合得很好 You two make quite a team.
我们都配合的很好 -[ Groans] -We all do.
我想是的 Yeah, I guess.
三分球进了 -[ Ding ] -That’s a three-pointer.
但是你们之间一直有种 无言的默契 But you guys have always had a -- an unspoken bond.
我是指 真的 不可言说 I mean really unspoken.
是那种 不要告诉我丈夫的那种 不可言说 Like, let’s-not-tell-my-husband unspoken.
我们现在不是夫妻了 Alan We aren’t married anymore, Alan.
没错 但你俩"滞留"在德尔菲6号星 Sure, but were we married
整整三天时 我们是夫妻吗 when you two were “stranded” on Delphi Six for three days?
因为我在你回来的时候感应到了异样 Because I sensed something was weird when you came back,
但我哪懂什么感应能力 but what do I know about sensitivity?
我只不过是一个幽灵列车员罢了 I’m just a phantom train conductor.
你才是日了我老婆的那堆虫子 You’re the pile of ordinary bugs that fucked my wife!
三分球进了 -[ Ding ] -That’s a three-pointer.
导线他妈在哪儿 Where the fuck is the lead wire?
你总是把它放到最奇怪的地方 You always put it in the weirdest place.
会不会在这儿呢 Urn, uh, over here maybe?
天呐 这个中微子炸弹质量可真差 Jesus Christ, what a shitty neutrino bomb.
要真能用这玩意毁掉什么东西也是奇迹了 It's a miracle I ever actually destroy anything.
噢 是吗 Oh, I don’t know.
你今天可毁了不少东西呢 You managed to destroy just about everything today.
坏人 好人 The villains, the heroes,
他们之间的界限 还有我的童年 the lines between them, my childhood.
谢谢了哈 Morty 我很感激 Thank you. I appreciate it, Morty.
我知道你含着守护者的鸡巴 I know you were sucking the Kool-Aid
尝到了不少甜头 out of the Vindicators’ dicks,
所以要承认我说的是对的 so the fact that I was right about them
对你来说肯定很难吧 must be pretty hard to admit.
没错 Rick 知道为什么吗 Yeah, it is. You know why, Rick?
因为当你犯浑的时候 Because when you’re an asshole,
不管你说得多有道理 it doesn’t matter how right you are.
没人会乐意让你得意的 Nobody wants to give you the satisfaction.
我知道 大家都希望自己喜欢的人是正确的 I know. Everyone wants people they like to be right.
所以受欢迎的人才他妈那么蠢 That’s why popular people are fucking dumb.
所以你那帮装模作样 人设差劲 And why your pretentious, poorly written,
预算成堆的朋友们 high-budget friends back there
才能吃到双层夹便三明治 can eat a double-decker shit sandwich.
成功拆除 Disarmed.
天呐 你嫉妒他们 Holy shit. You’re jealous.
对 这下你开心了吧 Yes! Is that what you want to hear?!
感觉爽吗 Did it feel good?
你是喜欢他的六百万条蠕动的腿 Did you like his six million wriggling legs
胜过喜欢我饱经悲剧 more than my tragedy-stricken,
- 半魂半肿的巨根吗 - 停下来 - half-ghost, half-tumescent penis?! - Guys, sTop!
你们只是在证明我的混蛋外公是对的 You’re just proving my asshole grandpa right!
你竟然以为这都是为了性 我们可是相爱过的 You wish this was about sex! We loved each other!
- 我们曾经有过孩子 - 啥 -We had a child together! -What?!
我和万蚁孕育出一个孩子 但胎死腹中 I conceived a child with Million Ants,and it died inside me
因为那里面除了一半的万蚁 还有一半的塌缩恒星 because it was half a million ants and half collapsing star!
而且 他确实比你强 And yes. He was better than you.
是吗 Yeah?
比你强一百万倍 One million times better.
全体上车 傻逼 All aboard, motherfucker!
停 [Echoing ] STop!
没想到会这样 Oof! Didn’t see that coming.
还说风凉话 Is that sarcasm?
等这一切结束后 我不会放过你的 I don’t want you slipping away when this is over.
这些人都是被你害死的 All of these deaths are on your hands.
好吧 可能有几个吧 Okay, come on, maybe a couple of them,
但这位列车员可不怪我 but definitely not the Train Guy.
全都是 -Oof! -All of them.
好吧 Okay.
祝贺 你成功了 -[ Dinging -Congrats. You did it.
现在我很清楚了 All right, by now, I’ve been pretty clear
守护者满嘴喷粪 that I think the Vindicators are [coughs] full of shit.
但你们确实有一样东西独一无二 But.. .you do have one thing that I’ll never have.
这也是对我来说唯一一个 And that thing is the only part of the Vindicators
有价值的东西 with any value to me.
如果你们知道是什么 把它放在平台上 If you know what it is, place it on the platform.
要是猜错了 这个星球就会爆炸 Guess wrong, and the pla-planet will explode.
也许整个太阳系都会毁灭 And probably the solar system,
因为我这次有他妈仔细检查过这上面的 ‘cause I kind of fuckin’ eyeballed the neutrino bombs
中微子炸弹 on this one.
他在耍什么花样 Morty 你是最了解醉酒Rick的 So what’s the trick? Morty, you’re the Drunk Rick expert.
我觉得 不管放什么上去 我们都会死 I think...no matter what we put on there, we die.
他说这是守护者让他看重的一点 He said it’s the part of the Vindicators he values.
这就意味着没有 That means nothing.
他想让我们活着的最后时刻 He wants our last moment alive
都用在弄清我们在他眼里一文不值 to be spent knowing how few fucks he gave.
老天 好吧 其他人的意见呢 Jesus! Okay, open to second opinions.
有可能 有可能是Morty It could -- It could be Morty.
- 啥 - 嘿 我不清楚 -What? -Hey, I don’t know.
我的意思是 当我喝醉的时候 I mean, look, when I get drunk,
我会变蠢 情绪化 毫无逻辑可言 I get stupid and emotional, and there’s no logic to it.
就像是 我很有可能喝太醉了 It’s, like, it’s possible I got so drunk
以至于我感觉守护者抢走了 Morty I felt like I was losing Morty to the Vindicators,
也许这就是我的表达方式 and maybe this is my way of saying, “Okay,
"好吧 你们可以带走他 只要你们明白他有多重要的话" you can have him, but only if you know how important he is.
"否则的话 我杀了你们" Otherwise, I’ll kill you.”
这真是一个 非常具体的猜想 That is a... really specific guess.
听着 我 因为这房间里只有我们 Look, I-I -- There’s nothing in the room but us.
我只是用逻辑稍作分析 I’m just using logic to connect some dots.
想不出更好的可能性了 It’s the best guess I’ve got.
但你这是在赌我们的命 But you’re betting our lives on it.
我来赌 我懂的 I’ll cover that bet. I get it.
Morty 我想你挂着一脸得意的笑 Well, Morty, I think you’re doing that smirky face
是因为你对当前有错误的理解 because you’re misinterpreting the moment.
我不是因为我对你有什么隐藏的爱而忸怩 I am not being coy about some hidden love for you.
我想说清楚 如果有人有更好的想法 I want to be really clear that if anyone has a better guess,
像是 如果我昨晚给了你个护身符 或者 like, if I gave you an amulet last night or --
呼 -Phew. -[ Both sigh ]
糟糕 Oh, shit.
对不起 我 并不擅长说再见 Sorry. I’m... not good at goodbyes,
而且 我醉了 所以 你知道的 我只是 and I’m drunk, so, you know, I just...
看起来我再也不会与你相见了 It looks like I’m never going to see you again.
我受不了英雄这种东西 I can’t really roll with the hero types.
而且 我不 他们也不想我出现 And I don’t -- They -- They don’t want me around.
但是我想让你知道 尽管有时候我没有表现出来 But I want you to know, even if I didn’t show it at the time,
我真的很感谢你陪在我身边 I really appreciated you sticking by me.
该死的 为什么我在流泪 这说不通 God damn it, why am I crying? It makes no sense.
你 你可能有些困惑 Ugh, you’re -- you’re probably confused
因为我们对对方所知甚少 because we barely knew each other,
但你真的有为了我犯险 but you really stuck your neck out
给我超棒的笑话撑场 [burps] when you gave me props for my awesome jokes
在那个简报室里 in the briefing room.
所有人都把他们的脑子搁屁眼里 Everybody else had their head so far up their ass.
甚至我自己的外孙都是 Even my own grandson is like,
"哇 守护者 他们好酷" “Oh, the Vindicators, they’re so cool.”
我是说 他是个白痴 他们就是这种人 I mean, he’s a moron. That’s their demographic.
但是你不一样 菜菜 But you’re different, Noob Noob.
这老逼 Motherfucker.
你他妈的很酷 你也很聪明 You’re fucking cool. And you’re smart.
我打赌我们可以哪天一起出去嗨 [Crying ] And I bet we could’ve hung out and shit.
我希望你能正式成为守护者的一员 And I hope you get to be a full-fledged Vindicator,
还有 就是 帮我个忙 and -- and do -- do me a favor.
不要 不要让他们知道我变得这么情绪化 Don’t -- Don’t let them know I-I got emotional.
但是你可以告诉他们一件事 But you can tell them one thing.
告诉他们我说了 Tell them i said-Oh,
卧槽 我屎拉身上了 晚点说 fuck. Okay. I just shit myself Okay, later.
- 什 兄弟 Morty 发生什么了 - 闭嘴 -W-- Dude, Morty, what happened? -Shut up.
我感到这意味着我们不会死了 I sense this means we are not dying.
不是我们所有人 Not all of us.
甜心 -[ Both choking ] -Sweetheart.
就让你的咪咪豆下手吧 我的蹭蹭 Just let Titty Bean do this, Snuzzles.
这是为了大家好 IVs for the greater good.
- 大家好 - 咪咪豆 -Greater good? -Titty Bean?
就像你说过的 Morty It's like you said, Morty.
- 不存在什么对与错 - 从没说过这种话 -There’s no right or wrong. -Never said that.
正是银河系给予守护者的信念 It’s the galaxy’s faith in the Vindicators
确保了星系的安全 that keeps the galaxy secure.
真对 一下就感觉安全了 Yeah, I feel safer already.
那可不 这下活儿干的好不好该问谁啊 No doubt. Who do we make the check out to?
我得说 边被掐死 I will say we are getting some good licks in
- 我们嘴炮还是打得响亮 - 是吧 -while choking to death -- -Right?
咪咪豆 听我说 Titty Bean. Listen to me.
在你走近我之前 When you came to me,
我只是个勉强有知觉的蚁群聚落 I was merely a sentient colony of ants.
是你的信仰 你对正义的追求 It was your beliefs, your pursuit of justice
教会了我成为一个真正的人 that taught me to be a man.
一切何时变得这么复杂的 When did it get so complicated?
谁知道呢 不过我们可以让它重归单纯 Who knows? But we can make it simple again.
你总是这么浪漫 You were always the romantic.
所以你也不能留下 Which is why you can’t leave, either.
我很抱歉 亲爱的 I’m sorry, my love.
卧槽 她居然背叛了蹭蹭 Damn! She double-crossed Snuzzles!
安静 我要好好享受 Silence! I’m going to enjoy this.
让我们衷心感谢Rick Sanchez ANNOUNCER: Let’s give a huge thanks to Rick Sanchez
感谢他除掉了灭世者 举办了这样一个酷炫的派对 for killing Worldender, putting this awesome party together,
而且请来了最火辣的天才之一 and for booking one of the hottest talents out there --
- Logic - 噢 耶 -Logic! -LOGIC: Aw, yeah.
- 瞧瞧这阵势 - 要开始了哦 -Look at that. -LOGIC: It’s going down.
天哪 我肯定策划了一整个派对 Geez, I must have planned a whole party.
- *这里是Logic 大家好* - 还请了一大堆人 -LOGIC: It’s Logic, y’aII. -Invited a bunch of people.
- 还不错 酒鬼Rick 还不错 - *向我的兄弟Rick致敬* - Not bad, Drunk Rick, not bad.- Shout out to my boy, Rick.
*准备好了吗* Are you ready?
*吭哧吭哧火车人* There’s a choo-choo train man,
*他转动着悲剧* he’s rolling down tragedy
*人人皆知超新星反抗重力* Everybody knowing Supernova fights gravity.
- Rick 超新星要逃跑了 - 呃 谁在乎啊 -Rick, Supernova’s getting away. -Eh, who cares?
可是 她刚刚想要杀我们啊 But...she was trying to kill us.
Morty 每周都有20个人想杀我 Morty, 20 people try to kill me every week.
我最后跟其中一半的人嗨起来了 I end up getting high with half of them.
你看那边 机头也来了 I mean, check it out. Gearhead’s here.
嗯 那玩意儿估计会射穿我 Hmm. Well, that’s gonna shoot through me.
Morty 你穿了件守护者的外套耶 Morty, you’re wearing a Vindicator jacket.
你现在是小超级英雄了吗 Are you a little superhero now?
宇宙里的所有人都是英雄 妈 Everyone in the universe is a hero, Mom.
所以我们根本不需要这些外套 Which is why we don’t need jackets.
我很确定我们也不需要守护者 And I’m pretty sure we don’t need Vindicators.
你不要我要 Don’t mind if I do.
嘿 各位 瞧瞧谁当上了守护者呀 Hey, everybody! Look who’s a Vindicator!
- 天哪 Rick外公这一看就是宿醉脸 - 闭嘴 Summer - Man, Grandpa Rick must have gotten shitfaced. - Shut up, Summer.
*忘不了那个似乎永远没机会的人* Can’t forget about the one who never seems to get a chance
*菜菜* Noob Noob!
*婊子们熙熙攘攘都是为了* All the bitches come around for
*菜菜* Noob Noob!
*他大屌的访问量胜过* His dick gets more visits than
*油管* YouTube
菜菜是他妈的什么人啊 Who the tuck is Noob Noob?
*菜菜* Noob Noob!
*大家都是 大家都是* LOGIC: Say, everybody, everybody is
*哟 Logic又来了 大家好* Yo, it’s Logic once again, y’ all.
*别忘了我的名字* Don’t forget the name.
*确保你们安全到家* Make sure you get home safe.
*还有 天哪 我们都得为Rick鼓掌* And, man, we gotta all give it up for Rick,
*因为 这个老混蛋多棒* ‘cause, I mean, what kind of motherfucker
*喝得不省人事的时候* just sets up a whole festival like this
*给我们安排了这样一整场的狂欢* when he’s completely loaded, man?
*所有说过关于Vance的事 都不是真的* And all that stuff I said about Vance, that’s not real.
*Vance那个人 那个人最逊* Vance, fuck that guy. That guy sucks dick.
*喔* Whoo!
*耶* Yeah!
*哟* Yo...
*我能领工钱了吗 喔* D-Did I get paid yet? Whoo!
我简直不敢相信我们在跟一个守护者吃冰机凌 I can’t believe we’re getting Gear Cream with a Vindicator.
你们是在上齿轮大学还是齿轮 So, you girls in Gear college or Gear --
外星人恐怖袭击 -[ Explosion] -Alien terror attack!
好吧 听起来是我的任务 Okay. Sounds like a job for.. .me.
我最好改换我的秘密身份 I better go get into my alter ego.
- 真酷 - 是啊 -[ Gasps] So cool. -I know.
等一下 什么秘密身份 Wait, what alter ego?
他已经穿着外套了啊 He was already wearing the jacket.
要学会何时拿起何时 Gotta know when to hold ‘em and --
啊 Aaaaah!