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总之 我就是这么从太空监狱里逃出来的 Anyway, that’s how I escaped from space prison!
啊 瘆人的地方 Oh! Scary place.
[翻译] 两周年的酷茄 胡子君 小思儿想吃四川蘸酱 屠龙少女
哇 Rick 真是好一段故事啊 Wow, Rick! That’s -- That’s one -- one heck of a story.
真希望我当时能在场目睹这一切 I sure do wish I could’ve been there to see it happen.
[校对] 约翰 [后期] 向该剧组低头的八圈 紫染 [压制/总监] 怪查理
别扯淡了 Oh, come on.
谁会想看一个疯子科学家用自制黑科技武器 Who wants to watch a mad scientist use handmade sci-fi tools
撂倒精兵外星守卫的场面啊 to take out highly trained alien guards
不如一家人在肖尼斯餐厅其乐融融 when we can sit here and be a family at Shoney’s?
爸爸 你能回来真是太好了 不管我们这是在哪儿 Dad, it’s great to have you back, no matter where we are.
但是你难道不想回家吗 But wouldn’t you like to go home?
宝贝儿 要说感情上 肖尼斯就是我的家 Emotionally speaking, honey, Shoney’s is my home.
好吧 但是你刚刚从监狱出来 Yeah, but you just got out of prison.
这儿也不比那儿好得了多少 I mean, how much of a step up from that is --
Jerry 从卡座站起来 脱掉全身衣服 Jerry, get out of the booth, take all your clothes off,
对折自己十二次 and fold yourself 12 times.
听你的 You got it.
只能对折六次是吧 Six folds, huh?
你们就把我关在一台9000系列析脑仪里吗 W-What, have you guys got me in a Series 9000?
你们这些贱胚虫子觉得我配不上你们最好的设备吗 You cheap insect tucks didn’t think I was worth your best equipment?
我都跟那些管钱的说了 [Chuckles] Man, I told the money bugs.
我说 "你们都知道他是谁 对吧 I said, “You know who this guy is, right?
若是想要我从银河里最聪明的哺乳动物那儿套情报 You want me to get intel out of the smartest mammal
你们最好给我配台先进的析脑仪" in the galaxy, you’d better give me a decent brainalyzer.”
你是不是也点几个煎饼 Well, you might as well order some pancakes,
我反正是不急离开我脑里现在这个场景 because I don’t see the need to leave this part of my brain.
怎么不急呢 Oh, I think you do.
毕竟要么是你放松你的小脑 Eventually, you’re either gonna relax your cerebellum...
- 放松我的肖尼斯 - 要么9000把你的脑子融掉 - Shoney’s. - or the Series 9000 is going to turn it into mush.
够放松了吗 -[ Farts] -Relaxed enough? [Chuckles]
我欣赏你 Rick -l admire you, Rick. -[ Farts]
当我 -When I -- -[ Farts I
Rick 听我说 -Rick, here’s -- -[ Farts]
进展怎么样 What’s going on?
尚不明朗 他好像臆想出了某种屁股 It’s hard to tell.He may have manifested some sort of butt.
他还有这本事 He can do that?
他可是宇宙里最聪明的人 He is the smartest man in the universe.
我跟你们讲 银河联邦接管地球 I tell you, the Galactic Federation taking over Earth --
就是我们家遇到过最好的事 best thing that’s ever happened to this family.
这个星期我刚被提拔了第六次 I just got my sixth promotion this week,
而我都还不知道上班是干嘛 and I still don’t know what I do.
谁在乎你被提拔得多高啊 Who cares how high they promote you?
给所有人发的工资都是药丸 Everyone just gets paid in pills.
等你自己靠不知道干什么挣钱了 Well, when you’re not sure what you do for a living,
你想干什么都随你 you can make your own rules.
Summer 对你爸爸尊敬点儿 Summer, show your father some respect.
他挣的可是六"味"数的收入呢 He’s pulling down a six-chewable-figure income.
待会儿我来收拾 大家的药丸味道怎么样 -[ Glass shatters] -I’ll get that in a moment.How are everyone’s pills?
噢 Morty 你都没怎么吃你的药丸啊 Oh, Morty, you’ve hardly touched your pills.
午餐药丸吃的有点儿多 而且我 I kind of had big pills for lunch, and I...
再也不想吃药丸了 wasn’t gonna eat any more pills.
我谢你啊 Conroy Thank you, Conroy.
你会宠坏我们的 Conroy You spoil us, Conroy.
这要是外公绝对忍不了 Grandpa Rick wouldn’t put up with this!
别提他的名字 他抛弃了我们 STop saying his name. He abandoned us.
原来是Willem Dafoe! Willem Dafoe!
我 我今早想不起名字的就是这个人 T-That’s the guy I couldn’t think of this morning.
别重蹈我的覆辙 Summer Don’t make my mistake, Summer.
别神化弃你而去的人 Don’t deify the people that leave you.
你的下场就是个马外科医生 活在外星人统治的世界 You’ll end up a horse surgeon in a world controlled by aliens
而外星药物会让马儿们 永葆健康 whose medicine keeps horses... healthy forever.
现在马比王八命还长 Horses live longer than tortoises now!
你想要沦落于此吗 Is that what you want for yourself?
也许我要的只是在我大叫着跑掉的时候你还会在乎 Maybe I just want you to care if I run away yelling!
谁要来些药丸布蕾 Who saved room for pill brülée?
我能理解你为什么选了这间家庭餐厅 I can see why you chose this family-friendly restaurant
来显现你的小脑 to represent your cerebellum.
给人安全感 又舒适温馨 很有肖尼斯的感觉 So safe, so comfortable, so Shoney’s.
但是承认吧 Rick 一直待在这儿你会疯掉的 But admit it, Rick -- You’re going crazy cooped up in here.
我们去别的记忆里头逛逛吧 Let’s go visit some memories.
哦 想看特定的哪一个吗 Oh, any particular ones?
你想看我第一次勃起吗 You want to see my first boner
还是要直接去看 or should we go straight to the moment
我发现次元穿越方法的那一刻 I discovered interdimensional travel?
你那下垂的两根在抽呢 Ooh. Your little flappy doodles are twitching.
这是性奋了 Does that mean you’re aroused,
还是你收到信号 有同伴找到了一串葡萄 or did you just get a signal that one of your buddies found a grape?
是兴奋 It’s arousal.
是的 我很乐意去看看 Yes, I’d like very much to visit the memory
你发明传送门枪的那段记忆 of you inventing your portal gun.
你给我的山芋很烫手啊 -Yeah. Well, tough titties. -[ Rumbling, glass breaking ]
有比神经崩溃更烫手的山芋吗 Rick There’s no tougher titty than a psychotic break, Rick.
好吧 那就要看是什么先崩溃了 我 还是 山芋 Well, that depends on who breaks first -- me or the titty.
这是某个你记忆里特别的人吗 Someone special you remember?
你对她的记忆就放在这儿吗 Is that your memory of her out there --
排在911惊魂未定和最爱的体育糗事之间 between where you were on 9/11 and your favorite sports blooper?
如果我们呆在这儿 你会死的 同所有的记忆一起死去 If we stay here, you’ll die, along with all your memories.
如果你带我去我想去的地方 If you take me where I want to go,
她也会在那儿 对吗 she’ll be there, too, won’t she?
我发明传送门枪的那天就是我失去她的那天 The day I invented the portal gun is the day I lost her.
听起来不错啊 Oh, that sounds cool.
我能弄到我想要的 你也能道个别 I can get what I want and you can say goodbye.
好吧 但是我来开车 [Sighs] Fine, but I’m driving.
作为剥去我们自由的借口 .as an excuse to strip away our freedom.
你这是 你这是在干嘛 Huh? What are you -- What are you doing?
外公肯定有秘密实验室 对吧 Grandpa Rick must have some secret lab, right?
藏着镭射枪 喷气背包 还有太空坦克 With, like, laser guns and jets packs and a space tank!
然后我们可以去劫他出狱 And we can go break him out of prison!
你看这些死苍蝇 Look at these dead flies!
说不定按照一定的顺序排列 Maybe if we arrange them in a certain order,
就会放一段全息图 或者打开一扇暗门 it plays a hologram or it opens a secret door.
Summer 你吓着我了 Summer, you’re freaking me out!
我知道世界变了样 也知道你想念Rick了 I know things have changed a lot, and I know you miss Rick,
但是把他弄回来也不会有所好转 but getting him back wouldn’t make things better.
而且 我们过得也不算糟糕 And, you know, we’re not doing so bad.
过得糟糕透了 Morty We’re miserable, Morty!
不仅强制宵禁 按他们奇怪的历法算起来我有47岁 There’s a mandatory curfew, their weird calendar made me 47,
埃菲尔铁塔被变成了武器 and they weapon ized the Eiffel Tower!
我觉得35岁挺好 我 我现在都可以租车了 I like being 35. I-I can rent a car now.
因为你就是个烂人 Because you suck!
外公被捕之后你就一言不发 You’ve been keeping your lip zipped about it since Grandpa got arrested,
甩掉了他你其实爽得不行 but the fact is,you’re freaking stoked to bail on him.
是他甩掉了所有人 He bails on everybody!
他甩掉了当时还是个小孩的妈妈 He bailed on Mom when she was a kid!
他甩掉了小小星球 He -- He bailed on tiny planet!
如果我以前没说清楚 Summer And in case I never made this clear to you, Summer,
他也甩掉了你 he bailed on you.
他把你撇在一个被他毁了的世界里自生自灭 He left you to rot in a world that he ruined
因为他不在乎 because he doesn’t care!
因为他不在乎任何人 Summer Because nobody’s special to him, Summer,
连他自己也不在乎 not even himself.
所以你要是真想找回你的外公 拿把铁锹 So if you really want your grandpa back, grab a shovel.
不会让你失望的那个外公 就埋在你家后院里 The one that won’t let you down is buried in your backyard!
你说对了 You’re right!
什么 不是 我才没说对 What?! No! I’m not right!
说气话激你而已 I-I was using ghoulish overkill!
都是气话 Summer Ghoulish overkill, Summer!
天呐 天呐 Oh, God! Oh, God!
我们这是去哪儿 Where are we going?
去所有一切开始的那天 也是终结的那天 To the day it all began and ended.
所有事情转折的那一刻 The moment that changed everything.
欢迎来到麦当劳 请问您想点些什么 MAN: Welcome to McDonald’s. Can I take your order?
我要十块麦乐鸡 多给点川香酱 Yeah, I’d like to get a 10-piece McNugget and, uh, a bunch of the Szechuan sauce.
能给多少酱就给多少酱 Like, as much as you’re allowed to give me.
在1998年 麦当劳给迪士尼电影<花木兰>做宣传 In 1998, they had this promotion for the Disney film “Mulan,”
当时他们 当时他们 where they -- where they --
他们给麦乐鸡配制了一种新的蘸酱 they created a new sauce for the McNuggets
叫做川香酱 超级好吃 called Szechuan sauce, and it’s delicious!
后来他们就取消了 现在都没了 And then they got rid of it, and now it’s gone.
只有在记忆里能让我们尝到了 The only place we’re gonna be able to try it is in my memory.
Rick 你做这件事的同时你的大脑在融化 Rick, you’re doing this bit while your brain is melting.
好吧 好的 好的 Okay. All right, all right.
- 那个是 - 我 Is that...Me.
我以前穿蓝色裤子 I used to wear blue pants.
你什么时候实现跨次元旅行的 When’d you make the leap to interdimensional travel?
我没有 是我做的 I didn’t. I did.
哦 哦 哦 这不是我们嘛 Well, well, well. If it isn’t us.
你知道发明传送技术最糟糕的一点是什么吗 You know the worst part about inventing teleportation?
突然间 你能够穿梭于整个银河 Suddenly you’re able to travel the whole galaxy,
然后你发现的第一件事情就是 and the first thing you learn is
你是最后一个发明了传输技术的人 you’re the last guy to invent teleportation.
幸运的是 你将发明一件更加厉害的东西 Fortunately, you’re about to invent something much more powerful.
什么 What?
Summer 这事儿没必要让别人知道 Summer, nobody has to know about that.
我们可以把它放回去 然后假装从来没看见过 We could put it right back and pretend we never saw it,
就像我们也没见过老爸的塑料假人大腿一样 like we did with Dad’s mannequin leg.
好吧 你留在这儿 我自己去救外公 Fine. Stay here. I’ll rescue Grandpa myself.
- 你要怎么做 - 我还不知道 -How are you gonna do that?! -l don’t know yet.
船到桥头自然直 外公不就是这样吗 I’ll make it up as I go. That’s what Grandpa Rick does.
英雄不就是这样吗 That’s what heroes do.
你 你想要看Rick是什么样的英雄吗 You want to see what a hero Rick is?
我 我带你去个地方 Summer I-Ill bring you somewhere, Summer!
- 嗯 - 我的天呐 孩子们 -Urn... -My goodness, children.
放下那个非法科技 [Sternly] Relinquish the illegal technology
交给最近的联邦议员 to the nearest Federation representative.
然后我们来玩"胡言乱语"猜谜游戏 [Normal voice ] And then we’ll all play Balderdash.
哦 我的天呐 [Grunts] Oh, my goodness!Oh! Oh! My goo-
哦 我的天呀 Oh, my God.
我有一件一模一样的上衣 I have that exact same Top.
这是哪里 What is this place?
还有这个<饥饿游戏>版的Summer是怎么回事 And what’s with “Hunger Games” Summer?
这是我的姐姐 这里原来是我的家 That’s my sister. This used to be my home.
想想看 任何事情你都能做到 Imagine doing anything you want,
跳到一个你从未到过的时间线 then hopping to a timeline where you never did it.
去任何地点 任何时间 没人能拦住你 Imagine going anywhere, anytime, with nobody able to sTop you.
听起来挺孤单的 Sounds lonely.
孤单 老兄 你有你自己 Lonely?Dude, you have yourself --
无数个你自己 your infinite selves.
一场永不散场的聚会 It’s a nonsTop party
所有的来宾都是我们唯一喜欢的那个人 where all the guests are the only person we like.
你认为做地球上最聪明的人是一件很酷的事情 You think it’s cool being the smartest man on Earth,
但是一旦我们给你这项技术 but once we give you this technology,
你就变成每个可构想的世界里最聪明的人了 you become the smartest thing in every conceivable universe --
无限的Rick 一个神 the Infinite Rick, a god.
算了吧 Enh, pass.
什么 老兄 Rick们不会就这样算了的 Excuse me? Bro, Ricks don’t pass on this.
你认为你是谁 Who do you think you are?
—个不一样的Rick 我猜 A different kind of Rick, I guess.
好吧 我们来看看这能持续多久 Well, we’ll see how long that lasts.
我听到了挺科幻的声音 I heard sci-fi noises.
你有了进展吗 Did you make a breakthrough?
有点吧 Sort of.
我仔细地看了看自己 I just took a long look at myself,
我想科学这条路或许走不通 and I don’t think this science thing is gonna pay off.
好吧 为什么不带上Beth 然后一起出去吃冰淇淋呢 Well, why don’t I get Beth and we’ll go out for ice cream?
Dianne 那是在这间车库里面 That, Diane, is the last great idea
会诞生的最后一个好主意了 that will ever be had in this garage.
这柯南伯格怪烤得挺好的 Good roasted Cronenberg, I assume.
妈妈 你看起来 很野性 Mom, you’re looking...feral.
不敢相信Rick居然做了这种事情 I can’t believe Rick did this.
Rick的冒险里的这一部分 These are the parts of Rick’s adventures
就是你见不到的 他抛下不管的那部分 you don’t get to see -- the parts he leaves behind.
好吧 谢谢款待 All right. IVs been great, guys.
我就是来跑一趟 实地展示下"我就跟你说吧" Urn, I really only wanted to sTop by here for a quick “I told you so.”
- 所以 嗯 - 在找这个吗 -So, uh... -Looking for this?
你拿着这个要干嘛 What are you doing with that?!
它有Rick的臭味 It stinks of Rick.
不 为什么 为什么你要这么做 [ Grunts] -No! Why?!Why would you do that?!
你 你 你们这些人有什么毛病 W-What is the matter with you people?!
你们这帮野蛮人 原始的野蛮傻逼 You’re a bunch of back savages --backwood savage morons!
你永远不能离开 她不能留下 You can never leave. She cannot remain.
她有Rick的臭味 She stinks of Rick.
别开枪 别开枪 Hold your fire! Hold your fire!
我是Morty C-137 I’m Morty 0-137.
我们探测到一个被毁坏的传输枪 你的Rick哪去了 We detected a compromised portal gun.Where is your Rick?
- 他被捕了 - Summer -He’s in prison. - Summer.
他被银河联邦抓住了 He got captured by the Federation,
我们打算去救他 and we were going to rescue him.
真是令人烦恼 我们不能让大本营的秘密 Very troubling.We can’t risk Citadel secrets
犯险落入银河联邦的手中 falling into the Federation’s hands.
我们马上派Rick海豹突击队 We’ll dispatch S.E.A.L. Team Ricks immediately
闯入关押C-137的监狱 to break into the prison holding 0-137...
- 超帅 - 然后刺杀他 Boo-yah....and assassinate him.
超衰 Boo-nah?
来吧 姑娘们 冰淇淋要化掉了 -[ Horn honks] -Come on, girls!The ice cream’s gonna melt!
不 N o-o-o-o-o-o-o!
哇哦 这酱真他妈好吃 Wow. This sauce is tucking amazing.
是为了宣传一部电影是吗 You said it was promoting a movie?
把3移项 再加2 Carry the 3, add a 2.
成了 他妈的成了 I got it.I tucking got it!
哇哦 就 就是这个吗 传送枪 Whoa. I-Is that it -- the portal gun?
是的 就是那三行公式 Yeah.That’s the three lines of math
分隔了我的人生 that separates my life as a man
一边是生活中的人 一边是无知无觉的鬼魂 from my life as an unfeeling ghost.
棒棒的 Awesome possum.
控制中心 你们拿到这个了吗 Mission Control, you getting this?
天呐 是的 是的 我们拿到了 是的 Holy shit, yes!Yes! We got it!
谢谢 Rick 我会试着记住关掉析脑仪的 Yeah! All right! Thanks, Rick.I’ll try to remember to shut off the brainalyzer.
其实 我想它会自动关闭的 Actually, I think it shuts off automatically
等你的大脑液化以后 once your brain is liquid.
我不知道 也不在乎 Don’t know, don’t care.
让我出去 Pull me out.
嗨 让我出去 你们能听到吗 Hey, pull me out. Can you hear me?
- 不 他们不能 - 为什么不能 - Nope, they cannot.-Why not?
因为你刚刚上传的代码 Because the code you uploaded
实际上并不是我的传送门枪公式 wasn’t actually my portal-gun formula.
它是一个能让我完全控制析脑仪的病毒 It was a virus giving me full control over the brainalyzer.
你在说什么 这是一段记忆 What are you talking about? This is a memory.
你 你不能更改记忆中的细节 Y-You can’t alter details of a memory.
是的 但是你可以改变任何东西 True, but you can alter anything you want
在一个完全伪造的原创故事里 about a totally fabricated origin story.
这是一个圈套 计划中止 我还在他的肖尼斯餐馆里 It's a trap! Abort! I’m still in his Shoney’s!
重复一遍 我们从来没有离开他的肖尼斯餐馆 Repeat -- We never left his Shoney’s!
计划完成 小伙子们 让我出去 Mission accomplished, boys. Pull me out.
收到 Roger that.
好了 在我的大脑的剩余部分中尽情享受吧 Have fun in what’s left of my brain.
我将转去你的大脑中 I’m gonna transfer to yours.
哦 没有足够空间容纳我的聪明才智 Oh, there’s not enough room for all my genius,
所以我给你留着我对柳条家具的恐惧 so I’m leaving you with my fear of wicker furniture,
对吹奏喇叭的渴望 my desire to play the trumpet,
买顶帽子的暂定计划 my tentative plans to purchase a hat,
还有六年的喜剧即兴表演研讨班 and six years of improv workshops.
喜剧成三(喜剧创作的准则) -Comedy comes in threes.
这是一个圈套 计划中止 我们从来没有离开他的 It's a trap!Abort! We never left his -- -[ Farts]
不 No!
照以前一样 Another day, another dollar.
我是伟大的昆虫生物 不然呢 Am I a great insect creature or what?!
祝贺你 特工 Congratulations, Agent.
你会因此大受赞扬的 You’ll be highly commended for this.
时刻等待着获许拥有成就感 Always wait for permission to [burps]feel accomplishment .
- 我的座右铭 - 我还有一件事想不通 -- That’s my motto.- One thing still perplexes me --
为什么Rick Sanchez会来自首 Why would Rick Sanchez turn himself in?
这个嘛 我只是个蠢虫子 但是Rick有可能早就知道 Well, I’m just a dumb-ass bug, but it’s possible Rick knew
他会被用这个装置审问 he’d be interrogated at this facility,
而这个装置不仅有我们最想要的信息 where we not only keep our most wanted,
还保存着我们最敏感的数据 but our most sensitive data.
这里任何拥有九级授权的人就可以 Anyone here with level-9 access could [burps]
说不准 瓦解一个政府 I don’t know. Collapse the government.
我要去拉屎 I’m just gonna go take a dump.
介意我用一下九级的洗手间吗 Is it cool if I use the Ievel-9 bathrooms?
九级核心授权密码是多少来着 W-What’s the Ievel-9 master access code again?
哦 简单 8 3 Oh, that’s easy -- 8-3 --
耶 Oh, yeah!
这里是Rick海豹突击队 S.E.A.L. Team Ricks in the house!
你好 Rick Hi, Rick.
再见 Rick Bye, Rick.
D-99 你还好吗 D-99, y-you okay?
真扫兴 我还没来得及试用下虫屌呢 I’m bummed I didn’t get to give that insect dick a test drive.
等等 等等 等等 等等 我们是受Rick委员会指示 Wait, wait, wait, wait! T-The Council of Ricks sent us.
我们手里有你的Morty和Summer We have your Morty and Summer.
他们作为俘虏关押在大本营 They’re prisoners on the Citadel.
很好 -Great. -[ Grunts]
6755号房间发生安保事故 -Security breach in room 6755. -[ Alarm blaring ]
这下好了 不但我的计划被搞砸了 Lovely.
关于即兴表演的记忆也全没了 Not only is my plan screwed up, I also forgot how to improvise.
所有安保人员立即前往 -All security people approach. -[ Grunts]
安保事故 Security breach.
这是一座全是外公的城市吗 A city of Grandpas?
这是Rick的大本营 It's the Citadel of Ricks.
所有来自不同时空的不同Rick All the different Ricks from all the different realities
一起聚在这里躲避政府 got together to hide here from the government.
但是如果政府每个Rick都痛恨政府 But if every Rick hates the government,
为什么他们还会恨我们的外公 why would they hate Grandpa?
因为Rick最痛恨的是他们自己 Because Ricks hate themselves the most.
而我们的Rick最是他自己 And our Rick is the most... himself.
已经不是了 小屁孩 Not anymore, homey.
Rick海豹突击队把他的一字眉 S.E.A.L. Team Ricks turned his unibrow
分成了两根眉毛 用子弹分的 into two brows -- with a bullet.
你们的Rick死了 你们的Rick死了 Your Rick’s dead! Your Rick’s dead!
长官 Rick D-99 正单独返回 Sir, Rick D-99 is returning from the mission alone.
很显然 Rick海豹突击队损失惨重 Apparently, S.E.A.L. Team Ricks suffered heavy casualties.
让他进来 Bring him in.
他说他只愿意与一名更高级别的Rick通话 He says he’ll only talk to a Rick with higher clearance.
真矫情 把那玩意儿给我 La-d i-da. Give me that.
D-99 我是大本营自卫队的总司令 D-99, this is the commander in chief of the Citadel’s militia.
够好了 Go-- [Burps] Good enough.
他是个间谍 炸了他 我要去拉屎 He’s a spy. Blow him up. I’m gonna go take a shit.
操作一支未注册的传送枪 Operating an unregistered portal gun,
将一名Summer转变为激进分子 radicalizing a Summer,
并且与一个叛徒Rick合谋 conspiring with a traitorous Rick.
对此你如何辩护 How do you plead?
这怎么算得上是个公平的审判啊 How is this a fair trial?
我们的辩护律师是个Morty 0-Our lawyer is a Morty!
这不公平 你们没有权利 他也不是个律师 It’s not fair, you have no rights, and he’s not a lawyer.
我们让他待在这里是因为他很逗 We just keep him here because he’s fun.
瞧他那傻样 Look at him go. [ Laughs]
哈哈 耶 [ Laughs I Yeah!
如果你与你的Rick断绝关系我们就从宽办案 We’ll be lenient if you renounce your Rick.
你怎么说 Summer What say you, Summer?
滚你丫的 I say fuck you!
外公是我的英雄 My grandpa was my hero.
你们杀了他是因为你们都嫉妒他 You killed him because you were jealous of him.
这点从发型就明显看得出 That’s pretty obvious from the haircuts.
所以你们把我怎么样都行 但是要放我弟弟走 So do what you want to me, but let my brother go.
他已经跟Rick断绝关系了 He already renounced Rick.
Morty Morty?
什么 -[ Whispers indistinctly] -What?
不 我才不要看你的游戏币收藏 N-No, I don’t want to see your pog collection.
我没有与Rick断绝关系 我从来都没有 I don’t renounce Rick, and I never have.
我只是想保护我的姐姐 I was just trying to protect my sister.
我想让你有正常的生活 I wanted you to have a normal life.
这是每次Rick出现时你就无法拥有的生活 That’s something you can’t have when Rick shows up.
所有真实的都变得虚假 所有正确的都变成错误 Everything real turns fake. Everything right is wrong.
你只知道你一无所知而他无所不知 All you know is that you know nothing and he knows everything.
他虽然不是坏蛋 Summer And, well -- well, he’s not a villain, Summer,
但是他也不应该成为你的英雄 but he shouldn’t be your hero.
他更像是个魔鬼或者是个一塌糊涂的上帝 He’s more like a demon or a super fucked-up god.
别他妈这么深情地缅怀他 Let’s not suck the ghost of his dick too hard.
他是个恐怖分子 现在他死了 He was a terrorist, and now he’s dead.
是吗 你以为我的Rick死了 其实他还活着 Oh, yeah? If you think my Rick’s dead, he’s alive!
你们要是觉得你们安全了 就等着他给你好看吧 And if you think you’re safe, he’s coming for you!
嘿 喔 喔 你来这里干什么 Hey! Whoa, whoa! What are you doing in here?
这个区域只需要几个按钮和表盘 This area is for teleporting the entire Citadel
就可以把整个大本营传送到别处 to somewhere else using only buttons and dials.
那一开始设计成这样 Yeah? Well, it’s a bad idea
就很不明智了对不对 to have it designed that way then, isn’t it?
这他妈是怎么搞的 -[ Screaming] -What the tuck?
我们被传送到了银河联邦监狱 We just teleported into a Galactic tederal prison!
我要去拉屎 -I’m gonna go take a shit. -[ Alarm blaring ]
法庭内请保持秩序 Order in the court!
喔 这是怎么回事 我的天哪 Whoa! What the hell?!Oh, my God!
等等 等等 等等 等等 不 不 不 Wait, wait, wait, wait! No, no, no!
喔 Whoa!
大本营被传送到了联邦的地盘 The Citadel has been teleported to [burps] Federation space.
完蛋了 这一定是C-137干的 It’s doomed. This has to be C-137, you guys.
- 我们该怎么办 - 他要找我们算账了 -What are we gonna do?! -You know he’s coming for us.
行了 都冷静 我们可以把他的Summer当做人质 All right! Calm down! We have his Summer as a hostage.
很显然 我抓住她了 Obviously, I get her.
你们用"瑞克 激光 剪刀"决定谁抓住Morty You guys play Rick, Laser, Scissors for the Morty.
你这是出的什么 W-What the hell is that?
报复 Payback.
外公 Grandpa Rick!
- 还用说吗 - 你还活着 -Duh. -You’re alive!
- Rick - Morty 拿着这个 待会儿用得上 -Rick! -Morty, take this.You’re gonna need it later.
等等 等等 喔 Hold on. Hold on. Whoa!
够了 Rick COUNCIL MEMBER: That’s enough, Rick.
你这是想干什么 What -- What’s this supposed to accomplish?
我们的外孙多得用不完 We have infinite grandkids.
你这好比是想在凯撒宫酒店里花掉迪士尼代币 You’re trying to use Disney bucks at a Caesars Palace here.
他在唬你 他很爱我的 [Gasps ] That’s a bluff. He’s bluffing, sir. He loves me.
你不按套路出牌 不理性又感情用事 You’re a rogue Rick -- irrational, passionate.
你爱你的外孙 你来这儿就是要救他们 You love your grandkids. You came to rescue them.
我是来杀你的 哥们 I came to kill you, bro.
这都不是我原装的Summer That’s not even my original Summer.
妈呀 他不是在唬人 Oh, my God. He’s not bluffing. He’s not bluffing!
- Rick - 干嘛不直接射穿她 -R-Rick? -Why not shoot through her?
20码的距离 9口径脉冲手枪 Twenty yards, nine-gauge plasma pistol.
我的第一枪会液化她的内脏 但只能打伤你 My first shot would liquify her insides and injure you,
第二枪后坐力会增加 second shot adds recoil.
如果我等你枪毙她 我的风险就会降到最低 The risk to me is minimized if I wait for you to shoot her,
我就希望你这么做 which I’m encouraging you to do.
- 搞什么啊 - 或者放了她 -What the fuck?! -Or let her go,
这样我就可以让你死得痛快些 which I will reward with a quicker death.
因为你爱她 Because you love her!
这样你才能让我给你最利索的一枪 Because it’s incentive for you to give me my cleanest shot,
死得不那么痛苦 which will be your least painful death.
但如果你想要死得慢些 我也很有兴趣陪你玩 But if you want to die slower than that, I’m super into it.
你想这么做的话你只需要杀了那个女孩 All you got to do to get that started is kill the girl.
- 我恨你 - 我才不在乎 亲爱的 -I hate you! -Not an issue, sweetie.
够了 把枪放下 Rick That’s enough! Drop the gun, Rick!
Morty 我知道你太蠢了 不懂我在干嘛 Morty, I know you’re too stupid to get this,
但是你现在真他妈是在捣乱 but you’re really fucking this up right now.
我不能让你害死我姐姐 把枪放下 I’m not letting you let my sister die!Drop the gun!
我才没想让她死 你这傻逼 I wasn’t gonna let her die, you fucking moron!
- 哈 - 噢 -Ha! -Aww.
关键是让他以为我打算这么做 The point is he thought I was going to.
顺便说一句 我确实被你骗到了 I totally did, by the way.
你真傻逼 Morty You’re a fucking moron, Morty.
Morty 你这智障 Morty, you fucking idiot!
你真他妈的是个智障 Morty You’re a serious fucking idiot, Morty!
你这等于是害死了我们所有人 You basically killed us all!
- 你太烂了 - 你傻得和一袋沙子没啥区别 -You’re the worst! -You’re dumb as a bag of sand!
看现在到底是谁傻 Who’s stupid now, bitch?!
Morty 他才刚回到我们身边 Morty! We just got him back!
干得漂亮啊 Morty [Laughs I That was amazing, Morty.
我的天啊 你可真棒 Oh, my God. Wow.
好吧 现在我们来做个了结 Okay. Let’s wrap this --
干得好 Morty 我们走吧 孩子们 Good job, Morty. Let’s go, kids.
啥 刚才是怎么回事 What?! What happened?
不过是我的老把戏罢了 Oldest Rick trick in the book.
"枪是假的 僵持时朝我开枪" “Fake gun. Shoot me in standoff.”
- 太机智啦 - 哈 没错 —Brilliant! -Ha! Yeah.
幸好我看见字条了 G-Good thing I saw that note.
我们就不能直接传送回家吗 Couldn’t we just portal home?
等我收拾好我搞出来的烂摊子再说 Not until I finish what I started.
这就是不用密码就能获得九级权限的办法 And that is how you get Ievel-9 access without a password.
别动 Freeze!
大家请看 月度最佳员工 Employee of the month, ladies and gentlemen.
所以你到底要用九级权限做什么 So what are you doing with level-9 access anyways?
- 毁掉银河联邦啊 - 棒极了 - 哇 太酷了 - Destroying the [burps] Galactic government.-Awesome! -Whoa! Cool!
你是要让他们用核武器自相残杀吗 Are you going to set all their nukes to target each other?
啊 还可以重新设定他们军队的传送门 Ooh, or -- or reprogram their military portals
来毁掉他们所有的太空舰队 to disintegrate their entire space fleet?
好主意 孩子们 快要为你们骄傲了 Good pitches, kids. I’m almost proud.
不过你们看仔细点 外公马上要摧毁一个帝国了 But watch closely as Grandpa Topples an empire
只要把这个1改成0 by changing a one...to a zero.
总统先生 咱们货币刚刚跌到一文不值了 Mr. President, the Blemflarck’s value just dropped to nothing.
什么意思 What do you mean?
我是说 银河联邦的唯一货币 I mean our single centralized Galactic currency
刚刚还一块钱值一块钱 现在一块钱的价值是零 just went from being worth one of itself to zero of itself.
冷静点 同志们 -Dear God, no. -Calm down, people.
启用银河联邦自卫队 颁布戒严令 Deploy the Galactic militia and declare martial law.
长官 遵命 Yes, sir.
不过 我们用什么付他们工资啊 Uh, what should I pay them with?
为国家效劳的荣耀就是他们的报酬 Their payment is the honor they’ll feel to serve their --
等等 我凭啥对他大喊大叫 谁付我钱啊 Wait. Who’s paying me to yell at this guy?
我能回答 如果给我钱的话 I can answer that -- for money.
我从没想到我还能看到这么一幕 I never thought I’d live to see this day.
同志们 同志们 别吵了 Gentlemen! Gentlemen!
其实还有个你们没想到的方法 There’s a solution here you’re not seeing.
- 把你的夹克给我 - 快把裤子扒下来给我 -Give me your jacket! -Give me those pants!
现在没有贫富之分了 Insectoid Employee: There's no rich people or poor people!
我想要更多夹克 I want more jackets!
得最多裤子者得天下 He who controls the pants controls the galaxy!
决不给虫子再次统治地表世界的机会 No longer will the insects have domain over surface world!
Jerry 到底发生什么了啊 Jerry, what the hell is happening?!
银河联邦垮台了 The Galactic government collapsed.
你还好吗 Are you okay?
听着 虽然说出来并不光彩 但是 Look.I’m not proud to share this, but the truth is,
我刚才一路爬回来的 这招真管用 I just kept crawling, and it kept working.
你没事就太好了 -[ Exhales deeply] -Oh, I’m glad you’re okay.
我们一直纵容你爸爸 是不是就要一直为此付出代价 Are we ever going to sTop paying for indulging your father?
我们已经失去了孩子 地球 和工作 Our children, our planet, our jobs.
现在我们还拥有什么呢 Is there anything left to lose?
只剩彼此了 而且我永远不会离开你的 Just each other, and I’ll never let you go.
对不起我做了这些事 And I’m so sorry I ever did this to us.
猜猜是谁把政府搞垮了 Guess who dismantled the government.
- 求求你别再离开我了 - 再也不会了 宝贝 -Please don’t leave me again. -l never will, baby.
我是对的 他是故意自首的 I was right! He turned himself in on purpose!
都在他的计划之中 It was all part of his plan!
Jerry 还有淡啤酒吗 Jerry, is there any light beer left?
你根本想不到你在监狱里会想念什么 It’s insane what you miss in prison.
好吧 没有 Urn, okay. No.
不 不 没有 很明确地告诉你 No, no, no. Foot-down tirne.
好吧 你是对的 有伏特加吗 No. You’re right. Where’s the vodka?
Beth你来选吧 有他没我 有我没他 Beth, it’s him or me!
看起来你们需要单独谈谈 Seems like you guys need some privacy.
我 我还是去车库吧 Ill, uh, I’ll be in the garage.
搞什么啊 Jerry What the fuck?! Not cool, Jerry!
车库是男人的城堡 A man’s garage is his castle.
Jerry会花一些时间回归单身了 Jerry’s going to spend some time.. .divorced.
噢 那太遗憾了 宝贝 Oh. Oh, I-I’m sorry to hear that, sweetie.
这个决定不是因为我吧 I hope I had nothing to do with that.
哦 天啊 爸爸 别想太多 和你没什么关系 Oh, God. Dad, that is not your burden to bear.
我感觉很内疚 把你想得这么坏 I feel terrible that I misjudged you.
这样对Jerry也好 This is gonna be good for Jerry.
- 对所有人都好 - 对所有人都好 -For everybody. -For everybody.
我最好去看看他 -[ Celiphone whooshes] -I better tend to Jerry
以免他改变主意 不想搬出去了 before he changes his mind and doesn’t move out.
就不打扰你们两个的小冒险了 I will leave you two to your adventures.
老天爷 Oh, my God.
Nancy说他们正在学校操场里对那些外星人用刑 Nancy says they’re drawing and quartering aliens in the school courtyard,
而且这算是爱国行为 and it technically counts as patriotism.
天啊 我的父母真的要离婚吗 Geez! Are my parents seriously gonna get divorced?
好吧 Rick 我要去 All right, Rick. I’m gonna go to my -- Gah!
哪也别去 Morty 你听见你妈妈说的了 Not so fast, Morty. You heard your mom.
我们还要去一起冒险呢 Morty 就你和我 We’ve got adventures to go on, Morty, just you and me.
有时带上你姐姐 或者你妈妈 And sometimes your sister and sometimes your mom,
但绝不带你爸爸 but never your dad.
你想知道原因吗 Morty 因为他惹恼我了 You want to know why, Morty? Because he crossed me.
等会儿 Rick 这有点黑暗 Okay. Take it easy, Rick. T-That's dark.
噢 还会更黑暗的 Morty Oh, it gets darker, Morty.
欢迎来到冒险中最黑暗的时刻 Welcome to the darkest year of our adventures.
- 第一个改变 你爸爸出局了 - 哦 天啊 - First thing that’s different ---no more Dad, Morty. -Oh, geez.
他威胁说要把我交给政府 He threatened to turn me in to the government,
所以我设计让他和政府都滚蛋了 so I made him and the government go away.
什么 Oh, fuck.
政府还有他现在都被我取代了 I’ve rep[burps]Iaced them both as the de facto patriarch
现在你家和这个宇宙都是我做主 of your family and your universe.
- 如果我不带着你和你姐姐回家 - 哦天 Your mom wouldn’t have accepted me
你妈妈就不会接受我 if I came home without you and your sister,
- 所以你现在知道我救你们的真正原因了 - 噢 so now you know the real reason I rescued you.
我刚刚掌控了整个家 Morty I just took over the family, Morty,
如果你向你妈妈或者你姐姐告密 and if you tell your mom or sister I said any of this,
我绝不承认 他们会相信我 因为我是英雄 Morty I’ll deny it, and they’ll take my side,because I’m a hero, Morty.
现在你不得不乖乖按我说的做了 Morty 永远 Now you’re gonna have to go and do whatever I say, Morty,Forever!
现在我要出去 再找点那个 And I'll -- I'll go out and I'll find some more of that
为了<花木兰>电影推出的川香酱了 Morty “Mulan” Szechuan teriyaki dipping sauce, Morty.
你在说什么啊 What are you talking about?
因为一切都是为了川香酱 Morty Because that’s --that’s what this is all about, Morty!
- 川香 - 那才是一切背后的动力 -Szechuan? -That’s my one-armed man!
我并不是为了给死去的妻女复仇 Morty I’m not driven by avenging my dead family, Morty!
这是假的 That was fake!
一切都是为了麦乐鸡的蘸酱 I-I’m driven by finding that McNugget sauce.
- 麦乐鸡 - 我要吃那个<花木兰>的麦乐鸡蘸酱 Morty I want that “Mulan” McNugget sauce, Morty!
- 这才是串起一切的主线 Morty - 你在胡说什么 -That’s my series arc, Morty! -What the hell?
如果这个要拍九季 我一定要找到这个麦乐鸡蘸酱 If it takes nine seasons, I want my McNugget dipping sauce --
- 川香酱 Morty - 你到底在胡言乱语些什么 -Szechuan sauce, Morty. -What are you talking about?
这个蘸酱会一路让我们走到最后 That’s what’s gonna take us
- Morty - 你在说什么啊 -all the way to the end, Morty. -What are you talking about?!
还有九季 Morty Nine more seasons, Morty.
还要九季 直到我找到川香酱 Nine more seasons until I get that dipping Szechuan sauce.
- 那是什么啊 - 也就是还要97年 Morty -What is that?! -For 97 more years, Morty!
你在说什么啊到底 What are you talking about?!
我说我要那个麦乐鸡的蘸酱 Morty I want that McNugget sauce, Morty!
准备好了吗 Is it ready?
是的 现在就可以让它上线 Yes. We can bring it online now.
来吧 Do it.
我是凤凰人 I am Phoenix Person.
凤凰人 这是我们决定好的名字吗 Phoenix Person? Is that what we settled on?
我还以为我们说好的是赛博鸟 I thought we all agreed on Cyber Bird.
你说你不在意他叫什么名字的 Y-You said you didn’t care what he was called
只要我们把他救回来就行 as long as we brought him back.
我是这么说的 但是凤凰人也太不像话了吧 Yeah, but Phoenix Person?
好吧 随他去吧 随便了 Fine. Fuck it. Who cares?
起飞 Ka-kaw!