翻译: 约翰
真不敢相信我们找到了这个平行宇宙里的地球 Geez, I can't believe we found a version of earth
有摸蛋人的电影系列 with a "Ball fondlers" Movie franchise.
校对: 约翰
我不敢相信的是这个平行世界pg-13的标准 I can't believe the things this reality considers pg-13.
后期: Jevic
- 真让人嫉妒 - 不用嫉妒 Morty - Yeah. I-I'm pretty jealous. - Don't be, Morty.
每条平行时间线都有好有坏 There's pros and cons to every alternate timeline.
至于这一个嘛 Fun facts about this one --
压制: 39°1
这里有巨型读心蜘蛛 it's got giant, telepathic spiders,
十一次911 11 9/11s,
还有整个多宇宙最好的冰激凌 and the best ice cream in the multiverse!
不是吧 Shut up!
咱去吃冰激凌啦 We're gonna go get some ice cream, mother[bleep]
靠 Oh, great.
怎么了Rick Oh, boy. W-what's wrong, Rick?
是量子化油器还是什么 Is it the quantum carburetor or something?
"量子化油器" 天 Morty "Quantum carburetor"? Jesus, Morty.
你以为你随便 You can't just add a s--
加一科幻名词在一个车零件前边 就真能说出什么来么 Sci-Fi word to a car word and hope it means something.
看来是微宇宙电池出问题了 Huh, looks like something's wrong with the microverse battery.
我们得去里面 We're gonna have to go inside.
什么里面 Um, go inside what?
电池里面 Morty 我们马上回来 Summer The battery, Morty. Be right back, summer.
待着别动 别动按钮 Stay put, don't touch any buttons,
有什么奇怪的念头 不要理会 尤其是有"蜘蛛感"的 and ignore all random thoughts that feel...Spidery.
你不能就把我留在这儿 Wait! You can't leave me here!
没事的 You'll be fine.
飞船 保证Summer的安全 Ship, keep Summer safe.
保证Summer的安全 Keep summer safe.
呵 真棒 Ugh. Wonderful.
不好意思 Hey, excuse me. Hello.
怎么 你以为你有多比我了不起 What, you think you're better than me?!
没人比我了不起 Nobody's better than me!
保证Summer的安全 Keep summer safe.
怎么搞的 Hey, man, what the hell?!
他是我女儿的儿科医生 That was my daughter's pediatrician!
停下 不要杀他 No, stop! Don't kill him!
收到 Confirmed.
我的腿没有知觉了 Oh, God. I can't feel my legs.
救命 Help! Help!!
Summer很安全 Summer is safe.
我一点都不觉得安全 I don't feel safe.
收到 Confirmed.
不 No.
救命啊 救命啊 Oh, God, help me. Help me!
救救我 你可以救我的 Help me, please! You can help me!
瑞克与莫蒂
电波诚译
第二季 第六集
我们这是在哪儿 Oh, man. Where are we, Rick?
Morty 记不记得八秒之前 Morty, remember eight seconds ago
你说"什么里面" when, when you said, "Go inside what?"
然后我说"电池" And I said, "The battery"?
然后我们来了这儿 我也没说什么 And then we showed up here, and I wasn't like,
"哇 好吃惊哟" "Whoa, this is unexpected.
"完全没想到是这样呢" This is not what I was expecting, Morty.
- "多么不可思议呀" - 行了行了 - What a perplexing mystery this is." - All right, all right.
我们在电池里面 我懂了 We're inside the battery. I get it.
- 你不用一直嘲讽我了 - 这不对啊 - You don't have to bust my balls. - Huh, this isn't right.
这根管道应该要 This pipe's supposed to be sending
20太瓦的燃料送进引擎里才对 20 terawatts of juice up to the engine, Morty.
结果反而是零 Instead we've got...Zero?
这些人现在在干嘛 Now what are these people doing?
啊 什么人 W-w-w-whoa, people?
看来得亲自动手修引擎了 It's time for some hands-on engine repair.
Morty 抓牢站稳 All right, Morty, hold on to something. Whoa!
我靠 Holy crap!
我还以为我们在你的车电池里 I thought we were inside your car battery, Rick.
这简直就是一整个星球啊 T-t-this is like a whole p-planet or something.
谢啦 Morty 我对这东西还是很自豪的 Thanks, Morty. I'm pretty proud of this bad boy.
你看 Check it out.
我把一块空间上嵌合的虚空 I put a spatially tessellated void
放入了一修改过的时间场 inside a modified temporal field
直到一颗星球发展出智慧生命 until a planet developed intelligent life.
我为他们引入了神奇的电能 I then introduced that life to the wonders of electricity,
他们现在整个星球都在发电 which they now generate on a global scale.
其中一部分用来给我的引擎供电 And, you know, some of it goes to power my engine
还有给我的手机充电什么的 and charge my phone and stuff.
你让一整个星球就在这儿给你供电 You have a whole planet sitting around making your power for you?
这是奴隶制 That's slavery.
这叫社会 他们在为彼此工作 It's society. They work for each other, Morty.
互相付钱 在这儿买房子 They pay each other. They buy houses.
结婚生子 They get married and make children
孩子在他们老了以后代替他们继续发电 that replace them when they get too old to make power.
那也不过是多了几个步骤的奴隶制 That just sounds like slavery with extra steps.
哦啦啦 某人在大学肯定要有艳福咯 Ooh-LA-LA, someone's gonna get laid in college.
看来 我们又有一次来访啦 It appears we are being revisited
来者 被称作Rick的外星人 曾经给予我们的世界 by the alien known as Rick, who once gave our world
谷波盒的科技 the gift of gooble box technology,
只要不停踩上去 就会产生电 which, when stomped on, generates electricity,
为我们的居家和工作提供能源 powering our homes and businesses,
提高我们的生活质量 同时安全地 improving our daily lives, while safely removing
将危险的废能量移到一座特别的废料处理火山 the dangerous waste power to a special disposal volcano.
但Rick为何回来了 But why has Rick returned?
他听到重大新消息又会说些什么 And what will he say when he hears the big news?
我们拭目以待 Let's find out.
你得告诉这些人他们在电池里 You need to tell these people they're in a battery, Rick.
这太糟了 他们请人办了酒宴 It's messed up. There's caterers down there.
他们还弄了火锅 Th-th-they're setting up chafing dishes.
别激动行吗 Morty Would you relax, Morty?
我们没有做什么不诚实的事情 There's nothing dishonest about what we're doing.
把这些天线戴上 Now slap on these antennae.
- 得让这些人觉得我们是外星人 - 啥 为什么啊 - These people need to think we're aliens. - What? Why?
看来你真是对修车一窍不通 Sh-- obviously you really know nothing about car repair.
等活动梯放下去 Wait for the ramp, Morty.
他们很爱慢速活动梯 They love the slow ramp.
他们可性奋了 看着这梯子 Really gets their dicks hard when they see this ramp
慢慢伸下去 just slowly extending down.
你们好呀 Greetings!
Morty 对他们比中指 Morty, you got to flip them off.
我跟他们说这是"星际和平"的意思 I told them it means "Peace among worlds."
不觉得很好笑吗 How hilarious is that?
我们来啦 Coming through.
俩货真价实的外星人 Two real aliens walking through here.
Rick 我们的外星朋友 Rick, our alien friend.
嘿 总统阁下 我发现 Uh, Mr. President, um, couldn't help but notice
你们没有再发电了 that you were having problems generating power.
没错 我们进化了 That's correct. We've evolved.
我们最优秀的科学家 Zeep Xanflorp Our most brilliant scientist, Zeep Xanflorp,
发展出一种能源 has developed a source of energy
淘汰了谷波盒 that makes gooble boxes obsolete.
我很想见识一下呢 I would love to see it.
- [哔] - 你刚跟我说什么 - [bleep] you. - What did you say to me?!
"[哔]"啊 "[bleep] you."
你跟我说的啊 是"非常感谢"的意思 Y-you told me it means "Much obliged."
哦 对 给我口 Oh. Right. Uh, b-blow me.
不不不 给我口 No, no, no. Blow me.
Zeep 从天外来了一位访客 Zeep, you have an honored guest from beyond the stars.
我说的是十二个量子稳定器 不是十一 I said 12 quantum stabilizers, not 11.
赶快弄好 不然要你好看 Fix it or it's your ass.
Chris 我忙着呢 Chris, I'm in the middle of something.
Zeep 这就是那位外星人Rick Zeep, this is Rick -- the alien.
外星人Rick Rick the alien.
外星人Rick Rick the alien...
真的 你要给我玩这招儿 Really? You're gonna pull that move?
你们整个文明都是我引导的 I guided your entire civilization.
你们有个节日就叫瑞恩节 Your people have a holiday named ricksgiving.
小孩子在学校里要学关于我的事情 They teach kids about me in school.
我辍学了 I dropped out of school.
学校不是聪明人待的地方 It's not a place for smart people.
哎哟喂 Ohhhh, snap!
听我说 你这个傲慢的小 Listen to me, you arrogant little --
Rick想要看看你的新能源 R-Rick was hoping to see your new energy source.
我想他能从你这儿学到很多 Zeep I think he could learn a lot from you, Zeep.
好吧 Fine.
对一般人来说这很难理解 It's hard for people to grasp,
但这容器里是一个无限的宇宙 but inside that container is an infinite Universe
里面有一颗星球能够制造 with a planet capable of generating
大量的能量 massive amounts of power.
我称之为"迷你宇宙" I call it a miniverse.
好傻的名字 Dumb name.
- 你说什么 - 没什么 - Excuse me? - Nothing.
我的意思是 光这样我们也很难理解 I mean, it's hard for us to comprehend all this.
有没有可能 我们走一趟 Would it be possible for us to get some kind of tour
到你的迷你宇宙里面看看呢 of your miniverse from the inside?
你以为这是[哔]巧克力工厂啊 我哪来的时间 This isn't a [bleep] chocolate factory. I don't have time.
你不是说时间在迷你宇宙里 Didn't you say time goes more slowly in the miniverse
相较于真实世界更慢吗 relative to the real world?
没错Chris 真是多谢你提醒哦 Yes, Chris. Thanks for reminding me of that.
好棒的总统啊 那我们走吧 Great president. All right, let's go.
抓牢 Hold on to something.
我把一块无界的真空放进了时间场里 I put an unbounded vacuum inside a temporal field
直到发展出一个新世界 until a world developed.
我给这个世界的人 I then introduced the people of this world
带来了奇妙的电力 用一种我称之为 to the wonders of electricity in the form of a device
斧波柄的装置 I call a flooble crank.
他们不知道的是 What they don't know is
每只曲柄百分之八十的能量都从 that 80% of every crank's energy output gets channeled
迷你世界里被导出 为我们所用 out of the miniverse to be used by us.
再也不用什么谷波盒了 No more gooble boxes.
我没有冒犯的意思 Zeep I got to tell you, Zeep, with no disrespect,
但我真的觉得你这样的行为很不道德 I really think what you're doing here is unethical.
- 这样不好 - 啥 - It's not cool. - What?!
你让这一整个星球的人都受到奴役 Y-y-you got the people on this world slaving away
来为你们发电 making your power.
在我看来这就是奴隶制 I mean, that's what I call slavery.
不不不 他们是在给彼此工作 No, no, no, they work for each other
来换取钱 然后他们 in exchange for money, which they then --
那也不过是多了些步骤的奴隶制罢了 well, that just sounds like slavery with extra steps.
哎巴带 某人在大学里肯定有艳福咯 Eek barba dirkle, somebody's gonna get laid in college.
Rick 能和你说句话吗 Rick, a word?
刚才是在搞什么 What the hell was that?
我懂"哎巴带" I know. "Eek barba dirkle"?
真是"哦啦啦"的[哔]说法 That's a pretty [bleep] up "Ooh-LA-LA."
你跟这人说他的迷你宇宙 No, what are you doing telling this guy
是不道德的 算是什么 that his miniverse is unethical?
你难道没发觉到虚伪吗 D-do you not see the hypocrisy here?
哎 你说的真对 Holy crap. You're right, Morty.
虚伪 Hypocrisy.
这个星球的某个地方 Somewhere on this planet, there's got to be
肯定有个自大的科学家 an arrogant scientist
马上就要完成微宇宙技术了 prick on the verge of microverse technology,
然后完全淘汰Zeep的斧波柄 which would threaten to make Zeep's flooble cranks obsolete,
迫使Zeep承认微宇宙是不好的 forcing Zeep to say microverses are bad,
到时候他就会明白他是怎样的一个伪君子 at which point he'll realize what a hypocrite he's being,
他的族人就会回去踩他们的谷波盒 his people will go back to stomping on their gooble boxes,
咱们就能去冰激凌街啦 and you and I will be on ice cream street, baby!
吃[哔]的冰激凌 Eating that mother[bleep] ice cream!
舔啊舔啊全舔掉 Slurping, slurping, slurping it up.
你这表情什么意思 Wh-wh-why are you making that face?
我[哔] Holy [bleep]
是我 我让 It's me. I've convinced
这个星球上的人一位我是一名旅行者 the people of this planet that I'm a traveler
从另一个世界而来 from another world.
你不觉得这样有点太过了吗 You don't think that's overdoing it a little?
要达到同样的效果 I mean, you could achieve the same effect
只需要一对 算了 with a pair of -- never mind.
我不该说三道四老挑刺 You know what? I shouldn't be so critical.
我是个外星人 I'm an alien.
我们准备要降落了 Places, please. We're about to land.
太快了 Too fast.
执法单位正在向此处汇集 Law enforcement converging on location.
保证Summer的安全 Keep Summer safe.
不不不 不要伤害任何人 No! No, no! Don't hurt anybody!
收到自定义防御协议 Confirm custom defense protocol --
确保Summer的安全 禁止物理暴力 keep summer safe -- no physical force.
- 没错 - 正在处理 - Yes. - Processing.
举起双手 从车里出来 Come out of the vehicle with your hands in the air!
扫描进攻者 Scanning assailants.
侦测到心理选项 Psychological option detected.
警官之子溺亡 牵动全城
7岁男孩泳池溺毙
妊娠中 Gestating.
"妊娠" "Gestating"?
举起双手走出来 Come out with your hands up,
不要逼我们开火 or we will be forced to open fire!
- 来了 - 有一个装置 - 是炸弹 炸弹 - Incoming! - We got a device! - Bomb! Bomb!
爸 Daddy?
我的天 Oh, my God.
- Hunter - 爸爸 - H-hunter? - Daddy?
搞什么 What the hell?
天啊 停火 退后 Jesus Christ, cease fire! Stay back!
Hunter H-h-hunter?
- 爸爸 - Hunter - Daddy. - Hunter!
我的天啊 Hunter Oh, my dear, sweet God, Hunter.
我的孩子 Oh, my boy. My boy.
对不起 都是我的错 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It was all my fault.
- 对不起 - 爸 别来管这辆车 - I'm sorry. - Daddy, leave the car alone.
什么 W-w-w-what?
别管这车 Leave the car alone.
Hunter 不要 Hunter? Don't --
我的天 oh, my God.
别走 Hunter 不要 Stay here, Hunter! No!
不要 Hunter God, no! Hunter!
你们都有所爱之人 All of you have loved ones.
都能被带回 也能被带走 All can be returned. All can be taken away.
请远离这辆车 Please step away from the vehicle.
确保Summer的安全 Keep summer safe.
如果你们继续撸这些斧波柄 And if you continue to turn your flooble cranks,
我会给你们带来其他伟大的外星科技 I will bring you other great alien advancements.
- 我问你件事情 - 嗯 - Hey, uh, let me ask you something. - Yes?
你们的科学家有没有在研究什么新东西 Any of your, uh, scientists working on anything new?
都在啊 他们就是干这个的 All of them. That's their job.
是是是 我是说 能源方面的 Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I mean, like, energy-wise.
有没有人研究 比如说 盒子里的小型宇宙 Anyone working on, say, a little Universe in a box?
你怎么知道的 这是顶级机密 How do you know about that? It's top secret.
记住 一日一撸远不足 So remember -- a crank a day is not nearly enough.
撸吧 Crank it.
我跟他们说这话是"星际和平"的意思 I told them this means "Peace among worlds."
不觉得很好笑吗 How hilarious is that?
很好笑 Zeep Re-really funny, Zeep.
嘿 Zeep 你的伪世界的伪总统 Hey, Zeep, the fake president of your fake world
要给你看些伪重要的东西 has something fake important to show you.
现在还不算什么 但是一旦 It's not much now, but once I learn
我学会加速时间场 to accelerate the temporal field,
我就能和任何有心智 在进化的生命互动 I'll be able to interact with any sentient life
并且给他们带来 that evolves and introduce them
神奇的电能 用这种基于拉动的设备 to the wonders of electricity via a pulley-based device
我称为卜波拽 I call a blooble yank.
但他们不知道的是 But what they won't know is --
你会带走他们大部分的电力 you'll be taking most of their energy.
对对对 我懂 Yeah, yeah, yeah. I get it.
有好戏看了 It's showtime.
你明白这会让斧波柄被淘汰的吧 You do realize this will make the flooble crank obsolete?
这样是不对的 Kyle 你这样做是不对的 This is wrong, Kyle. What you're doing is wrong.
你这样明明就 这是奴隶制 You're basically -- This is slavery.
这是在制造一整个星球的奴隶 You're talking about creating a planet of slaves.
我就说嘛 Zeep Told you, Zeep.
怎么会是奴隶呢 Oh, they won't be slaves.
他们会为彼此工作 付给彼此薪水 They'll work for each other and pay each other money.
那不过是多了些步骤的 奴隶 制 That just sounds like slavery with ex...Tra...Steps.
- 干嘛 - 等等 - What? - Wait a minute.
你是不是创造了我的宇宙 我的宇宙是一个迷你宇宙吧 Did you create my Universe? Is my Universe a miniverse?
微宇宙 Microverse!
藐宇宙 Uh, teenyverse.
你这个混蛋 Ugh! You bastard!
非常感谢 Much obliged.
- 这是怎么了 - 这样比较健康 相信我 - What the hell is happening? - This is healthy. Trust me.
你不过是我的电池 你这[哔] You're my battery, mother[bleep]
不过是电池而已 That's all you are.
我创造了你 你的微宇宙烂透了 I made you. Your microverse sucks!
你所谓的迷你宇宙占了一养龙虾的缸子的大小 And your miniverse is the size of a lobster tank!
烂死了 It's whack!
他们不是真的外星人吧 Are they not really aliens?
不 他们就是俩疯疯癫癫的 Nah, they're just a couple of crazy,
奇怪的科学家 wacky scientists, you know?
所以说 他造出了一个宇宙 So he made a Universe,
然后那人是从那个宇宙来的 and that guy is from that Universe.
- 你是我的电池 - 那个人也造了一个宇宙 - You're my battery! - And that guy made a Universe.
也就是我出生在其中的宇宙 And that's the Universe where I was born.
我父亲去世的宇宙 Where my father died.
我没来得及参加他的葬礼 Where I couldn't make time for his funeral
因为我专注于创造我的宇宙 because I was working on my Universe.
是我创造了你 I made you!
科学 这玩意儿 Science, huh? Ain't it a thing.
有一次 Rick 偶然用 You know, one time, Rick sh-- accidentally shot
他的激光手枪打穿了我的手 his laser pistol right through my hand.
科学就像个老太太 You know, I mean, like, old-lady science, you know?
她可真 She's a real --
得牢牢抓住 you got to hang on tight, you know?
因为她 她挣动起来可狠了 Because she -- she'll -- she bucks pretty hard.
天啊 不要 Ooh, boy, what -- oh, my God, no!
- 呵呵 藐宇宙 - 呵呵 藐宇宙 - Teenyverse. - Teenyverse.
快啊 快啊 Come on, come on, come on.
翼手龙 Pterodactyl!
混蛋 Asshole!
等我离开这个藐宇宙 When I get out of this teenyverse,
我要把它连你一下砸碎 I'm gonna smash it to pieces with you in it.
等我离开这个藐宇宙 Yeah, well, when I get out of this teenyverse,
我还要离开它外面的迷你宇宙 I'm gonna get out of the surrounding miniverse
然后是外面的微宇宙 and then the microverse around that, and guess what?
别把事情闹得更僵了Rick Don't make things worse, Rick!
他不会毁掉你们的宇宙的 Uh, he's not gonna destroy your Universe.
我们需要它来发动车子 You know, we -- we need it to start our car.
你就用我的宇宙干这个 That's what you used my universe for?
拿来开车 To run your car?
没错 别太受宠若惊了 Yeah, but don't flatter yourself.
AAA(标准干电池)总是有的 傻[哔] There's always AAA, you [bleep] [bleep] sucker!
他在干嘛 他在造什么 What's he doing? What's he crafting?
我也会造东西 I can craft stuff, too, pal!
像我造了你们的世界一样 Just like I crafted your reality!
你这个造东西的傻 You crafty son of a --
是我造出来的人 I crafted the guy
创造了你现在所在的星球 that created the planet you're standing on!
是我造出来的恒星 Yeah, and I made the stars
产生了你妈卵巢里的碳元素 that became the carbon in your mother's ovaries!
又不是我要求要被生出来的 I didn't ask to be born!
够了 我走了 All right, that's it! I'm out.
我要去荒野里 I-I'm gonna go into the wilderness,
我要去那些树林人中间过新的生活 and I'm gonna make a new life for myself among the tree people.
- 也不可能比现在差劲了 - 是哦 Morty - I-it can't be worse than this. - Sure. Okay, Morty.
在日落之前回来 否则树林人会把你吃了的 Just be back before sundown or the tree people will eat you.
只是传说而已 That's a myth!
你为什么要编这种传说 W-w-why are you trying to start a myth?
这个星球的文明还在史前阶段 It's a prehistoric planet, Morty.
总有人要给他们带来点文化 Someone has to bring a little culture.
总不能是某些 And I-I-it certainly can't be someone
其文明给我的刹车灯供电的人吧 whose entire culture powers my brake lights!
上上上 Go, go, go!
我的天啊 Oh, my God. Oh, God.
我们现在怎么办 What are we gonna do now?
我不能摧毁这支军队 I am unable to destroy this army.
说明白一些 其实我完全可以 To clarify, I am quite able to destroy this army,
- 但你不允许 - 没错 - but you will not permit it. - Correct.
你也不允许我使用情感对策 You also refuse to authorize emotional countermeasures.
你要说什么融化掉的幽灵宝宝的话 If you're talking about the melting ghost babies,
没错 别再来了 yes, please, no more of that.
收到 Confirmed.
我现在正在建立一种安保措施 I am currently constructing a security measure
是符合你的规范的 in compliance with your parameters.
但我想说你让我很难办 But I do want to say you are not making this easy.
你知道你挺混蛋的是吧 You know you're kind of a dick, right?
我的功能是确保Summer的安全 My function is to keep summer safe,
不是让Summer 怎么说 事事都如意 not keep Summer being, like, totally stoked
情绪啊 各方面 什么的 about, like, the general vibe and stuff.
你就这样 你说话就这个样 That's you. That's how you talk.
嘿 那是我的鹿 Hey, that's my deer!
我只喜欢你的上帝也和你一样混球 I hope your God is as big a dick as you.
我的上帝是压根儿不存在的最大的混球 My God's the biggest dick that's never existed.
你以为我为什么会在这儿 Why do you think I'm even here?
你在这儿 You're here
是因为你创造了比你更聪明的人 because you created someone smarter than you.
我还以为我们两个 Oh, I thought we were both
都在这儿是因为我造出了一个满是白痴的宇宙 here because I created a Universe of idiots.
妈的 Morty Holy shit. Morty?
我好几个月没见你了 I haven't seen you in months.
你是树林人的领导 You're leading the tree people?
也算是有点进步了 Huh. That's a step up.
我们没有领导者 We have no leaders.
我们只遵从树林的意志 We follow only the will of the forest.
真是基 Gaaaaay.
确实很基 That is pretty gay.
你俩管自己叫天才 You two call yourselves geniuses,
但你们这段时间什么也没有学到 but you have spent this time learning nothing.
跟我来森林里 Come with me into the forest.
我要教你们些东西 There is something I wish to teach you.
这是灵树Ku'ala This is Ku'ala, the spirit tree.
数代人以来 它引导着 For generations, it has guided the --
你得把我们弄出去 you have to get us the [bleep] out of here.
这就是些落后的野人 These people are backwards savages.
他们把第三个出生的婴儿吃掉 They eat every third baby
因为他们觉得这样水果会长得更大 because they think it makes fruit grow bigger.
所有人都很恶心 而且他们身上永远一股尿味儿 Everyone's gross, and they all smell like piss all the time.
我想念家里人 我想念我的笔记本电脑 I m-- I m-- I miss my family. I miss my laptop.
我前几天对着一块有曲线的浮木手淫 I masturbated to an extra-curvy piece of driftwood the other day!
我不管要付出什么代价 Look, I-I don't care what it takes.
你俩把你俩的破事儿放一边 You two are putting aside your bullshit,
一起想办法把我们弄回去 and you're working together to get us back home.
不行啊 Morty 做不到 No can do, Morty. I just can't.
我不明白我怎么能 I just don't see how I can --
你们是聪明人 你们会弄明白的 You're smart. You'll figure it out.
你有十秒钟 You have 10 seconds
从飞船里出来 to get out of the ship!
十 九 10, 9...
好吧 还不坏 All right, not bad.
我猜你对原始重接没有什么意见 I guess you're an okay proto recombinator.
我见过更严重的离子细胞双氧化 I've certainly seen worse ionic cell dioxination.
要是成功了 我请喝酒 If this works, drinks are on me.
要是你请的话 If drinks are on you, you're gonna need
你就得在那塔上申请第二份贷款了 a second mortgage on that tower.
我是个酒鬼 I'm an alcoholic.
我是吸鸦片的 Opium addict.
好了好了 够了 All right, okay, okay, okay, wrap it up.
你们真是烂透了 你们的神只是谎言 You guys are the [bleep] worst! Your gods are a lie!
[哔]你们的 去[哔]的大自然 去[哔]的树 [bleep] you, [bleep] nature, and [bleep]trees!
- 太好了 成功了 - 好 - Yes! You did it! - Yes!
酒怎么说 Hey, uh, how about that drink?
没问题 让我回船里拿我的钱包 Sure, I just need to go grab my wallet from inside my ship.
哦 你的钱包在船里啊 Oh, is your wallet in your ship?
传送器也在那儿呢 That's where the transporter is, too,
我们不一起去吗 so why don't we come with?
不用呀 我一秒就回 It's cool. I'll be back in a sec.
你知道微宇宙里一秒能有多久吧 You know how long a second can take in a microverse?
快跑Morty Run, Morty!
这混蛋宁愿 That asshole's willing to
牺牲掉他在意的一切也要打败我 risk everything he cares about just to defeat me!
他已经疯了 He's psychotic!
- Morty跳我背上来 - 干嘛 - Morty, hop on my back. - Why?
走着 Sanchez 滑雪鞋 Go, go. Sanchez ski shoes.
八 ...Eight...
别动 Hold still.
嘿 你们好呀 我刚做好了一顿大餐 Oh, hey, guys. I just finished cooking us a feast.
啊 妈的 Aaaah! Holy --
- 你这怪物 - 旅途不太愉快啊 - you monster! - Whoa. Bad tour.
七 ...seven...
嘿 你得登记离开 Hey, you got to sign out.
你做的一切都没有意义 你的存在是个谎言 Nothing you do matters! Your existence is a lie!
如果这是真的 那 If that were really true, then...
- 我来找Ron Mendleson - 三楼 - I'm here to see Ron Mendleson. - Third floor.
你愿意去吃个饭吗 和 Would you like to go to dinner with --
不 uh, no.
你可能是创造了这个宇宙 但我生活在这里 You may have created this Universe, Rick, but I live in it.
怎么办Rick 我们完了 What are we gonna do, Rick? We're so screwed.
他会到船上 He's gonna get to the ship and
毁掉微宇宙 杀了我们 smash the microverse, and then he's gonna kill us!
- 快Morty 变成车 - 啥 - Quick, Morty, you've got to turn into a car. - What?!
很早以前 我给你植入了一块皮下芯片 A long time ago, I implanted you with a subdermal chip
能够唤起休眠在你血管系统里的纳米机器人 that could call upon dormant nanobots in your bloodstream
重构你的身体构造 把你变成一辆车 to restructure your anatomy and turn you into a car.
- 天啊 - 集中 Morty - Oh, my God! - Concentrate, Morty.
集中精神 变成一辆车 Morty Concentrate and turn into a car, Morty.
算了没事 这儿有出租 进来 没事了 Never mind. Here's a taxi. Get in. It's fine.
六 ...six...
- 嘿 Zeep - 嗯 - Hey, Zeep. - Huh?
瑞恩节快乐 贱人 Happy ricksgiving, biiiiiitch.
成功了 Morty We did it, Morty.
我们赶紧出去毁掉这个宇宙 Now let's get out of here and destroy this whole Universe.
你说什么 Excuse me?
五 ...five --
长官 sir?
- 天啦 - 长官 - Holy hell. - Sir!
不要开火 Hold you fire!
怎么回事 What's going on?
我促成了一份和平协定 I have brokered a peace agreement
让政府和巨型蜘蛛达成了和解 between the giant spiders and the government.
多亏了这神秘宇宙车精湛的外交技巧 Thanks to the skilled diplomacy of this mysterious space car,
从今日起 人类与蜘蛛 from this day forward, human- and spiderkind will live
将和平共处 side by side in peace.
我们不再轰炸它们 它们也不再 We will stop bombing them, and they will no longer use
利用心灵感应让我们走进网里 their telepathic abilities to make us wander into webs
等会儿吃掉 for later consumption.
取而代之的是 我们将共同努力 Instead, we will work together to make this world
让这个世界对所有生命来说都更美好 无论你有几条腿 a better place for all, no matter how many legs.
那这太空车怎么办 What do we do about the space car?
别管它 Leave it alone.
它又干了什么呢 I mean, what did it really do, anyways?
杀了一个人 弄瘫了他 Kill a guy and paralyze his buddy?
和与蜘蛛的和平比起来不算什么 Not a bad trade for spider peace.
好吧 撤军 All right, that's it. Move out!
我们解开了多么纠结的网
我真爱这只蜘蛛 I love this spider!
Summer 很安全 Summer is safe.
行 我懂了 All right, I get it.
Rick Rick!
别这样 Don't do it.
你离开了学校 但你还是要学点东西 You quit school, but you still got some learning to do.
下课 Class dismissed.
- 你还好吧 - 好呀 - You all right? - Uh-huh!
你在干嘛 Rick What are you doing, Rick?
这电池已经彻底没法用了 I'm pretty sure the battery's dead.
你以为呢 Morty Oh, you think so, huh, Morty?
瞧着 Well, let's see.
啊 怎么 我不懂 Hey, wait -- huh? I don't get it.
你当然不懂 但是Zeep懂 Of course you don't. But Zeep did.
他知道我一旦回到车里 He knew that once I got back to my car,
两件事中有一件会发生 one of two things was gonna happen --
我要么扔掉一块坏掉的电池 I was gonna have to toss a broken battery,
或者电池不会坏掉 or the battery wouldn't be broken.
星际和平 Rick Peace among worlds, Rick.
天啊 Jesus.
嗯哼 听着宝贝发动的声音 Yeah. Listen to that baby purr.
你说得对 Morty 我们 You were right, Morty -- we
真的只需要对他们说实话就好了 really just needed to be honest with those guys.
咱们走 All right, here we go.
谢谢啦 Thank y-o-o-ou.
看 Morty 就为了这个呀 See, Morty? This is what it's all about.
干了这么多 就为这个 This is why we do what we do.
恶 搞什么 Ew! What the hell?
天啊 我的冰激凌里有苍蝇 Jesus! There's flies in my ice cream.
总统裁定 Presidential decree --
所有的冰激凌 给所有的生灵 all ice cream is now for all beings,
无论有多少条腿 no matter how many legs.
- 你[哔]干了什么 Summer - 是你的船干的 - What the [bleep] did you do, Summer?! - It was your ship!
- 你的破船干的 - 别怪我的船 - Your stupid ship did it! - Don't blame my ship!
- 它融掉了一个小孩子 - 我的船什么也不会做 - It melted a child! - My ship doesn't do anything...
- 它自己把它杀掉的 - 除非你让它干什么事情 - It killed it itself! - ...Unless it's told to do something!
- 我们差点就死了 - 我不想听 Summer - We almost died! - I don't want to hear it, summer!
你胸前挂的这两坨 Your boobs are all hanging about,
就因为你的胸我们的冰激凌都毁了 and you ruined ice cream with your boobs out.
想都不要想否认 And don't even try to deny it, either.