翻译: 晓小枫
校对: 约翰
后期: Jevic
高尔夫变简单了 Hey, golf is easy now!
压制: 39°1
哦不 现在又变难了 变难了 Aah! Golf is hard again! Golf is hard again!
这里的景象跟你那边一样 The view from here is the same as yours, Jim.
地球上空出现一个巨大的脑袋 A giant head has entered earth's gravity,
引发了我们认为至少八年内不可能发生的 triggering climate change and natural disasters
世界尽"头"?!
气候变化和生态灾难 we thought were impossible for at least another eight years.
别扯到政治上去 Terry Let's not make this political, Terry.
这颗巨头表明来意了吗 Do we know what this giant head wants?
让我看看你们的能耐 Show me what you got.
Jim 你听见 说"让我看看你的能耐" Jim, you heard the... Said "Show me what you got."
让我看看你的能耐 Show me what you got.
我想知道你有什么本事 I want to see what you got.
该出发了Morty Oh, boy. Time to go, Morty.
去哪 Uh, where?
五角大楼 The Pentagon.
不是那个五角大楼 I mean, not the Pentagon.
是在地球的那个比较菜的 The lame one here on earth.
瑞克与莫蒂
电波诚译
第二季 第五集
那就是上帝吗 Is it God?
如果是的话 那我可不可以不上学了 If it's God, do we get out of school?
那不是上帝 Summer It's not God, Summer.
只要她愿意 她完全可以认为是上帝呀 亲爱的 She's allowed to think it's God if she wants, honey.
- 闭嘴 - 好 - Shut up, Jerry. - Okay.
老爸 你知道什么 Dad, what do you know about this?
我们俩正要去调查 Morty and I are going to look into it.
你们先等着 You guys hold tight.
挺恐怖吧 这诡异的玩意 Scary stuff, huh? Pretty freaky.
我是Morty的数学老师 Hi. I'm Morty's math teacher.
我也是街道小组的成员 I'm also part of the street team inviting folks
我们邀请大家去市区的教堂一起祈祷 to the church downtown so we can pray together.
祈祷有什么用 How is praying going to help?
女士 天气都被那个大脑袋控制了 Ma'am, a giant head in the sky is controlling the weather.
你难道想玩西洋跳棋吗 现实一点 Did you want to play checkers? Let's be rational!
我们教堂见 I'll see you at God's house!
诸位 一个一个来 Simon你说 Gentlemen, gentlemen! One at a time! Simon?
SETI NORAD以及地球上所有的广播电台 SETI, NORAD, and every broadcaster on the planet
都正在尝试向这个生物展示人类的种种 are attempting to show this being what humanity's got--
弦理论 世界历史 人类基因组 String theory, world history, the human genome--
你们有没有试过启动核按钮 Have you tried sending it launch codes?
总统阁下 美国的能耐 Mr. President, what America's got
就在那七万个兆吨级核弹里 is 70,000 megatons of kaboom-boom,
我建议把核弹扔到那大头的屁股里让他见识一下 and I say we show it right up this floating head's ass.
不行 你得让我先说完 No, you need to let me talk!
都闭嘴 Shut up!
站住 不许动 Hold it! Don't move!
别过来 我的手表能把人变成蛇 Stay back! This watch turns people into snakes!
退下 都退下 Stand down! Everybody, stand down!
我是这里的负责人 我没有武器 I'm the leader of these people, and I'm unarmed.
别再把谁变成蛇了 There's no need for any more snake-makery.
我叫Rick Sanchez My name is Rick Sanchez.
这是我的孙子Morty This here is my grandson, Morty.
- 你好 - 你好 - Hi, Morty. - Hey.
老夫游历太空 见识博大 I've seen enough of the galaxy to know what we've got here
这个巨头是西格纳斯第五星域的克鲁星人 is a cromulon from the signus five expanse.
不用上什么核弹 也不用讲什么数学 So you can forget about nukes, and you can forget about math.
我们不给他表演 This head won't go away
一首金曲的话 until Earth shows them it's got...
他是不会走的 A hit song.
唱歌 我们不可能 A hit song? We can't possibly--
- 古典音乐吗 - 不是 - You mean like Vivaldi? - No, Frasier.
上口的原创新歌现场表演 A live performance of a newly written, catchy original song.
克鲁星人摄取低等生命形式的才艺 The cromulon feed on the talent and showmanship
得以生存 of less-evolved life-forms.
好的 谢谢你Sanchez先生 All right, all right. Thank you, Mr. Sanchez.
计划有变 各位 Change of plan, people.
把Pharrell和Randy Newman和Billy Corgan和The Dream找来 Get me Pharrell, Randy Newman, Billy Corgan, and The-Dream.
你们没听说过The Dream吗 The-Dream?
他写了和两首歌 He wrote "Umbrella" And "Single Ladies"?
没听过吗 You people haven't heard of The-Dream?
你们得用51军区的声波测试设备 You're gonna want to put them on that giant speaker system
上面的扬声器才行 at your Sonic testing facility at Area 51.
你怎么知道51军区的 How do you know about that?
你自己想想 Nathan 他都能把人变成蛇 For God's sake, Nathan, the man turns people into snakes.
还不会用谷歌地图吗 He can use Google Maps.
阁下 Pharrell Newman Corgan还有那个Dream的人 Sir, Pharrell, Newman, Corgan, and that Dream guy--
- 他们都死了 - 什么 - They're all dead. - What?
怎么可能 难不成我叫谁谁就死吗 How is that possible? Do people just die when I name them?
在颁格莱美奖 阁下 The Grammys, sir.
巨头引发了一场地震 所有的音乐人 There was an earthquake and... all the musicians,
那些有名气的 都死了 all the famous ones... they're gone.
天呐 Dear God.
等等 阁下 Hold on, sir. Just a minute.
Ice T活下来了 Ice-T survived.
他正乘战斗机来这里 预计两小时后到达 He's inbound on an F-15, E.T.A. Two hours.
祝你好运 总统阁下 Good luck, Mr. President.
地球的磁场要翻转了 Sir, the magnetic poles are about to reverse.
两小时后地球可能就不存在了 In two hours, there may not be an Earth to save.
Sanchez 你玩音乐吗 Sanchez? Are you a musician?
稍有涉猎 I dabble, Mr. President.
带他们坐直升机去51军区 Get this man and his grandson on a black hawk to Area 51.
大家冷静 保持镇定 People! Everyone! Remain calm!
每一次信仰的危机都是一次重聚更多信仰的机会 Every crisis of faith is an opportunity for more faith.
上帝给你发了一手11 不要摊牌(指Blackjack 即二十一点) When God deals you an 11, you don't fold!
要双倍下注 You double down!
在软手16点的时候 一定要拿牌(A可以算作1或10 软手即算10) And always hit on a soft 16.
说你呢 犹太佬 That means you, Jews.
恕我冒犯 牧师 但是刚才我看外面的情况 I beg your pardon, pastor, but the last I looked outside,
看上去你手上的牌挺差的 it seems to be you that's been dealt the weak hand.
犹太人最高 Jews rule!
没人回应吗 好吧这教堂真行 Nobody? Okay, tough church.
大家好 我是阴道校长 Hi. Principal Vagina--
这是真名 可能是斯堪的纳维亚那边的 The name's real, possibly Scandinavian.
我要站出来发表以下言论 I'm just gonna come out and make this pitch--
旧神已死 The old Gods are dead.
[哔]以前的宗教 [bleep] all previous existing religions.
天空中的巨头才是真神 向他致敬 All hail the one true God--The giant head in the sky.
- 上帝的子民们 - 啦啦啦你闭嘴 - Children of God! - Ah-ta-ta-ta!
我理解你的心情 Bob Bob, Bob, I get it.
但是除非这十字架能胜过那巨头 But unless this can beat that,
你最近又为我做了什么呢 what have you done for me lately?
你们不介意的话 我要到外面的人行道上 So, if you'll all excuse me, I'm going out onto the sidewalk,
朝天跪拜 许以我永恒的灵魂 I'm dropping to my knees, and pledging my eternal soul
给那个真正在控制[哔]天气的东西 to the thing that literally controls the [bleep] weather.
别挡道 Out of my way.
好吧 Okay.
如果诸位已经回复些理智 If sanity's been restored to this assembly,
我想说一下修理新风琴的费用 I'd like to talk about the cost of repairing our new organ.
Sally 请拿出募捐盘 Sally, the plate, please.
我最喜欢这部分了 Oh! This is my favorite part!
- 你真的玩音乐吗Rick - 谁不会玩一点音乐呢 - Rick, are you really a musician? - Who's not a musician, Morty?
- 我啊 - 你那态度也难成气候 - Me! - Yeah, not with that attitude.
到空降区了 我是降落指挥官 We're in the drop zone! I'm the jumpmaster!
我叫Jamey 结尾是ey My name's Jamey, with an e-y!
上啊 要跳了 Go, go, go!
但歌我们还没准备好呢 B-but--But we don't have a song!
空中的巨头 请原谅我们做过的一切 Giant head in the sky, please forgive all that we've done.
原谅我们的排放量越来越大 We're sorry for our increased levels of emissions
种族歧视 当然还有我一直无视 and our racism and, of course, the Amber Alerts
手机上的安珀警报(儿童绑架警戒资讯系统) I keep ignoring on my phone.
哇 Whoa!
好了Morty 我们来 来把这事搞定 All right, Morty. Let's get-- let's do it.
你在那个键盘上按个钮 Why don't you, uh, find a button on one of those keyboards
给我起个节奏 and lay down some kind of beat?
我觉得咱们还是避免更大的损失 Rick, I think we need to cut our losses.
带上家人用传送枪赶紧跑吧 W-we get our family and portal out of here!
放松的人才能写出好的音乐 Morty, good music comes from people who are relaxed.
快按个按钮 Morty 给我来个节奏 Just hit a button, Morty! Give me a beat!
好 好吧 Oh, man. Okay. All right, um...
*哦耶* *Oh, yeah*
*你得渴爽嗨起来* *You gotta get schwifty.*
*在这你要渴爽嗨* *You gotta get schwifty in here.*
*现在就要变渴爽嗨 哦哦* *It's time to get schwifty, Uh-oh.*
"渴爽嗨"是什么玩意 Get "Schwifty"? What the hell is that?
是我们这颗星球最大的努力 It's our world's best effort. That's what.
*裤子裤衩脱脱下 地板上面拉粑粑* *Take off your pants and your panties. Shit on the floor*
*现在快要渴爽嗨* *Time to get schwifty in here.*
*我是Bulldops先生* *I'm Mr. Bulldops.*
"Bulldops先生"又是哪来的 "Mr. Bulldops"?
别追究这个了Nathan 管用就成 Don't analyze it, Nathan. It's working!
*地板上面拉粑粑* *Take a shit on the floor*
*现在快要渴爽嗨* *Time to get schwifty in here.*
第三级捐赠者可以获得无限制家庭通行证 and third-level donors get our all-access family pass.
你们听 风暴停止了 Listen! The storm is stopping!
*快脱掉裤子* *Hey, take your pants off*
*今天定要渴爽嗨* *It's schwifty time today.*
请对我们仁慈 我们只是微不足道 Please be kind to us, for we are but tiny things
完全依附于你的存在 with entire bodies, stuck to your ground.
我喜欢你的才华 干得好 I like what you got! Good job!
- 耶 - 太棒了 - Yeah! - Whoo!
我们做到了 We did it!
真是新鲜 他竟然说对了 What do you know? He was right!
- Vagina校长万岁 - 我接受你的膜拜 - Hooray Principal Vagina! - Yeah, I'll take it.
先别急 我们理智一些 Now, hold on a second! Let's be rational about this.
不不 我只是说 No, I'm-- I'm just saying,
我们还不能确定这两者存在因果关系 we don't know there's a cause-effect relationship...
我的天呐 Oh, my God!
- 这是什么情况 - 我的天 - What is going on now?! - Whoa! Whoa!
到底怎么回事 What the hell happened?
总统阁下 你得看看这个 Mr. President, you're gonna want to see this.
这个星球刚刚被传送了 I think planet Earth has just been transported.
巨头离开了 但是把他的孩子送来了 The head has left and sent its children.
我靠 Holy crap!
尊贵的巨头们 我们为刚才的言论道歉 Oh, dear giant head, we apologize for that discussion.
这种事不会有第二次了 It will never happen again.
尊贵的巨头们 Oh, dear--Oh, dear giant head...
阁下 我们收到了一个乱码信号 Sir, we started picking up on a garbled signal.
正在破译中 We're decrypting it now.
我们让他们展现自己的能耐 他们都照做了 We asked them to show us what they got, and they did.
现在我们看看谁最好 Now we'll see which of them has got the most.
24小时 5颗行星 5首歌 24 hours, 5 planets, 5 songs.
最终只能剩下一个 But in the end, there can only be one...
行星好音乐 Planet music!
所有参与者均非自愿 All participation is involuntary.
不合格而输掉的星球会被等离子射线瓦解 Disqualified and losing planets are disintegrated by plasma ray.
这时候说这个好像不太好 Uh, it's probably a bad time to mention it,
但是在轨道上的宇航员肯定是死光了 but any astronauts you guys had in orbit are definitely dead.
欢迎回到行星好音乐 Welcome back to "Planet Music"!
首先 来自Parblesnop星的 First up, let's hear the latest song
最新歌曲 The Greeby Bobes from planet Parblesnops', The Greeby Bobes!
给我看看你们的本事 Show me what you got!
等等 停下 Hold it, hold it. Stop.
音乐不在于竞争或是囚禁 Music isn't about competition or captivity.
爱音乐即是爱自由 If you love music, you love freedom.
请让这些星球重返自由 Let these worlds be free! Please!
不合格 Disqualified.
每季都有一这样的 There's one every season.
下一个星球 Arboles Mentirosos Moving on to planet Arboles Mentirosos.
Arboles Mentirosos人 快给我们看看 Arbolian Mentirososians, show us what you got!
来 二 三 四 A 2, 3, 4!
Rick Morty Ice-T 时间表提前了 Rick, Morty, Ice-T, the timetable's moved up.
地球六小时之后上场 Earth's on in six hours.
还嫌我们的压力不够大吗 Like we're not already under enough pressure?!
Morty 他也是照例行事而已 淡定点 Geez, Morty, the guy's just doing his job. Take it easy.
你们俩能别这么淡定吗 Rick, Ice-T, could you guys take it less easy?!
我们要用六小时来写出一首歌 We've got six hours to come up with a song!
灵感都是即刻诞生的 Morty Genius happens in the moment, Morty.
至少见见我们家里人吧 Well, can we at least go get our family?
把他们带上 You know, so we can take them--
如果输了 至少把他们一起带走 With u-- With us if we lose?
别为失败做打算 That's planning for failure, Morty.
比庸常的打算还要愚蠢 Even dumber than regular planning.
蛋蛋哟 Balls.
停下 Morty 听我说 Morty, Morty, stop. Listen.
这玩意儿没多少电了 There's only so much charge left in this thing.
如果我们传送回家再回来 If we portal home from here and back,
就没有足够的电量离开这颗星球了 we're not gonna have enough charge left to get off world.
- 明白吗 - 什么 - Get it? - What?!
知道不 Yeah. You see?
我这是不让你知道某些残酷的现实 I try to shelter you from certain realities, Morty,
如果我放任你把我也搞紧张 because if I let you make me nervous,
我们就渴爽嗨不起来了 then we can't get schwifty.
说得还挺像回事儿的 这话就是你瞎编的 Stop saying it like it's a thing! You made it up!
Morty呀 不能不能请你舔舔我的 Hey, Morty, could you lick my...
蛋蛋哟 蛋蛋哟 Balls, balls...
Rick 停下 不好笑 Rick, cut it out! It's not funny, Rick!
真是够了 这些家伙也只不过是单曲神话而已 I've seen enough. These guys are one-hit wonders.
那你打算怎么办呢 将军 And what's your plan, general?
我们还可以选择核弹 We still have the nuclear option.
听我的 我们可以朝天上 On my word, we can launch a missile
所有的脑袋来一发核弹 at every one of those heads in the sky.
我们的星球被困在了现场选秀里面 Our planet's held captive on a live game show,
你的办法就是朝观众射导弹 and your solution is to shoot the audience?
要是我们熬过了这关 你大可以继续相信核弹 You can put your faith in nukes if we get through this, general.
但在此之前我会选择相信Rick与Morty Until then, I'll put mine in Rick and Morty.
"渴嗨爽"是即兴佳作 "Get Schwifty" Was a jam.
您好 没错 Hello? Yes, sir, yeah.
谢谢您 Eh, thank you, sir. Thank you.
他说他对我们做的一切感到骄傲 He says he's proud of what we're doing
并且希望我们庆祝一次升天节 and hopes we have a great ascension festival!
- 升天节快乐 - 升天节快乐 - Happy ascension! - Happy ascension!
我们赶紧打包走人吧 We should pack up and leave town now.
我觉得咱们社区在努力应对恐惧挺好的呀 I think it's inspiring that our community is coping with fear
还是用过节 吃自制冰激凌的办法 in a way that involves a festival and homemade ice cream.
要是你不是这么个福音无神论 If you'd stop being such an Evangelical atheist,
说不定你现在都开心死了 you might start enjoying yourself.
看看你 Whoa! Look at you!
你都戴帽子什么的啦 You're wearing the hat and everything!
还有你们的 Here's yours!
妈 今晚可不可以让我来做饭 Mom, do you mind if I cook dinner tonight?
可以呀 慢着 啥 Yeah, sure. Wait. What?
我爱你们 你们赐予我生命 I love you guys. You gave me life.
而且众头的旨意 And it's the will of the many heads
是孩子都必须尊敬父母 that all children honor their parents.
做晚饭听着很好啊 Dinner sounds nice.
不好意思 史密斯先生 太太 Pardon, Mr. And Mrs. Smith.
Summer 升天节你来吗 Summer, are you coming to the ascension?
父亲 我们可以去升天节吗 Father, can we please go to the ascension?
当然 我们去升天节吧 Sure! Let's go to the ascension.
升天节到底是什么 Wh-wh-what is it?
我们在此将被厌弃者送上天空 We hereby send these unwantables skyward
使他们或将被众头吸入 that they might be inhaled by the many heads,
小偷
哥特人
电影院里 说话的人
再被喷嚏送回来 新生为婴儿 成为更好的人 later to be sneezed back to us as better babies.
朝着头 升去吧 Headward, free now to rise.
小偷
哥特人
朝着头 升去吧 Headward, free now to rise.
电影院里 说话的人
升去那些巨头吧 Oh, yes! Yes! Rise to the giant head!
你们可以获得自由 You are free to be free!
橡胶扫帚从车库里走过来 And squeegee comes up from the garage, right?
但他一只手上是龙虾 But he's got a lobster in one hand,
另外一只手里是电影票 然后说"准备好啦" the movie tickets in the other, he's like, "I'm ready!"
你要拿着龙虾去看钢铁侠3啊 You gonna take a lobster to see "Iron Man 3"?
Ice-T Ice-T!
靠 Ah, damn.
原味的Fig Newton饼吃完了 We're out of original-flavor fig Newtons.
反正我也该走了 I should get going anyway.
等着 别啊 Wait, wait, wait! C-come on.
等下啊 等下 H-hold on a second. Hold on.
- 啥 - 我靠 - What?! - Damn.
你都没说你还带着传送门枪啥的 You didn't tell me you [bleep] around with portals and shit.
够了 That's it!
哇哦 Morty 给我 Whoa, whoa, Morty! Give me that.
你骗人 你骗我说没电了 You lied! You lied about the charge!
你只是懒而已 You were just being lazy!
回来 坐下 Get back! Sit down!
Morty 放下 Morty, just put it down.
你不明白你在做什么 You don't know what you're doing.
我要去找妈和爸 I'm going to go find mom and dad!
别 No!
[哔]的 Oh [bleep]!
[哔]的 Oh [bleep].
[哔]的 Oh [bleep] .
然后Ehtan弹吉他 我们 And then Ethan played guitar, and we learned
一遍唱一遍学习了巨头的七深思 the seven contemplations of the head by singing them.
真的很开心 It was really fun.
赞美巨头 Praise be the head!
赞美 Praise be the... Yeah.
大家好 我是阴道牧师长 Hi, folks. Head Priest Vagina.
感谢大家种土豆 Thanks for farming all those potatoes.
现在是晚上六点 家长们 6 P.M., so if you're a parent,
可以享受子女们的爱了 you're now entitled to adoration from your children.
我去准备晚饭 I'm going to start dinner!
我也不知道说什么好 Summer现在表现得真好 I don't know what to say. Summer is doing really well here.
她的土豆课全都得了A She's aced every test in potato class,
看看土豆现在是多么重要呀 and look how important potatoes have become.
没有怀孕 没嗑药 也没过了宵禁才回家 She's not getting pregnant or doing drugs or missing curfew.
帮帮我 只要努力你能够到我的 Please help me. You can reach me if you try.
帮帮我 Please help me!
只要Summer好 这些都不关我们的事 That's not our business as long as Summer is thriving.
吃玉米卷啦 Taco time!
希望能让你们开心 如巨头所愿 I hope it pleases you as the head desires.
真好 Summer That's wonderful, Summer.
我们为你感到骄傲 We're so proud of you.
但你真的不用每天都做晚饭的 But obviously you don't have to make dinner every night.
我必须要 笨蛋 Of course I do, silly!
天啊 爸 对不起我管你叫笨蛋了 Oh, my God, daddy! I'm sorry I called you silly!
真的对不起 I'm so sorry!
天上的巨头 颅形的创造者 Heavenly heads and cranial creator,
原谅我忤逆我的父母和社群 forgive my transgressions against family and community.
愿工作使我完整 一如我将它们规整 May my chores complete me as I complete them.
- Morty - 鸟人 - Morty. - Birdperson?
你似乎要死了 You appear to be dying.
我会尽力不让你死去 但我不敢保证 I will make efforts to prevent this but can promise nothing.
你怎么看 ice 是不是有点太过了 Wh-what do you think, ice? Probably a little overdeveloped.
太过了 太简单 Shit, overdeveloped, underdeveloped--
烂歌就是烂 没区别 A bad song's a bad song.
那是不是 或许 Well, do you think, maybe--
你能帮我一下呢 Could you give me some help with it, or...?
算了吧 Aw, hell no, man.
你干你的 我可经受不起 You do your thing, but I can't afford to
拿我的名声给你的陪葬 get my pride wrapped up in your shame.
懂吗 You know what I'm saying?
Ice 不是我要这么消极啊 Ice, I don't want to be a negative Nelly or anything,
但是如果Morty不带着传送枪回来 but if Morty doesn't come back with my portal gun
然后我唱砸了 and I eat it out there,
你也有麻烦的 it's, uh, you know, kind of your problem, too.
切 我一点都不担心地球被炸掉的事 Pfft! I ain't worried about no earth blowing up, man.
啊 为什么 What? Why not?
因为这 Yo, this is why.
我[哔] 你能变成冰 What the [bleep] you can turn into ice?
我的故事始于时间之初 My story begins at the dawn of time
在遥远的字母表之域 in the faraway realm of alphabetrium.
所有的存在都是字母表上的一个字母 There, every being is a letter of the alphabet.
但我被亲人冻结 放逐 作为惩罚 But I was frozen and exiled to the cosmos by my elders
因为我什么都不在乎 as punishment for not caring enough about anything.
地球只不过是我停歇的一小站 Earth is just one of my many stops
我一生的旅程不会有终点 on a lifelong journey with no destination.
你最好搞清楚 地球炸了 我一点都不在乎 So you better believe I don't care if it blows up,
我只是一块漂流于宇宙的冰 because I'll just be ice floating through space,
像一颗彗星 like a comet.
听我说 ice 你不能 Take it from me, ice, you can't just
漂流宇宙 什么都不在乎 float around space not caring about stuff forever.
切 看着 Pfft. Man, watch me.
好运 Rick Good luck, Rick.
好吧 事态失控了 Okay, things are getting out of hand.
我要确保Rick有他需要的一切 好渴爽嗨起来 I better make sure Rick has everything he needs to get schwifty.
真是够了 Oh, for God's sakes. That's enough.
你在干什么Nathan What the hell are you doing, Nathan?!
我可是[哔]的美国总统 I'm the goddamn president of the United [bleep] States!
我要把核弹设置成 I'm setting the nuclear option to launch
地球表演开场一分钟后发射 one minute into earth's performance.
至于你 总统 And you, Mr. President...
希望你喜欢被一枪砸脸上 I hope you like being hit in the face with a gun.
等等 为 为什 Wait, wait, wait. Why-- why--
我应该能读取Rick的传送枪的历史记录 I believe I can access the history of Rick's gun
帮你们团聚 and help you get back to him.
你能把我送到我的家人那里吗 But can you help me get to my family?
就是我家 You know, at-- at my house?
你想用Rick的传送枪弃他而去吗 Is your intention to abandon Rick using his own portal gun?
在鸟的文化里 这很混球的 In bird culture, this is considered a dick move.
Rick的所有作为都很混球 All of Rick's moves are dick moves!
我 我吃的是什么东西 What-- What am I eating?
这 这是鸟食吗 Wh-what is this, bird-- birdseed?
乱七八糟的碎渣 从我毯子里弄出来的 It is random debris. I found it in my carpet.
我不知道人类吃什么 I don't know what humans eat.
- 你知道我"吃"什么 - 别恶心人 Tammy - You know what this human eats. - Don't be gross, Tammy.
鸟[哔] Bird [bleep].
真恶心 Tammy, gross.
鸟人 你总是为Rick出头 Birdperson, you always stick up for Rick,
但是他只在乎他自己 but he doesn't care about anyone but himself.
而且做事从不考虑后果 He doesn't think about the consequences of anything he does.
所以他才有 And as a result, he has the power
拯救或者毁灭世界的能力 to save or destroy entire worlds.
你我也是因他而相识 And he is the reason you and I know each other...
也是因为他 我现在才活着 And the reason I'm alive at all.
那是怎么回事 那个婴儿是谁 What's that? Who's that baby?
Morty 假使你设法把家人从地球救走 Morty, suppose you could retrieve your family from Earth
但要抛弃Rick but had to abandon Rick.
我可以为你的家人提供住所 I could give your loved ones shelter on birdworld,
甚至工作 比如在农场养虫子 even jobs, possibly as worm ranchers.
你难道不会时常仰望星空 How often do you think you might look up at the stars
试想当初如果选择相信Rick and wonder what might have been
这一切又是何等情形吗 had you just put your faith in Rick?
以上是胖墩鼓手带来的 That was Chunkytunk with
"满蠢蠢 空饕坞" "Full Ming Mong, Empty Gorbdork."
接下来是地球 Up next, planet Earth!
该我们了 Oh, God! We're up?!
Jerry Beth 你们家完美诠释了 Jerry and Beth, your family is a golden example
巨头教要展示给世界看的东西 of what headism has to offer the world.
- 世界吗 - 巨头教现在正流行 - The world? - Headism is a hit.
我们打算走向全世界 并且想让Jerry We're taking it worldwide, and we'd like Jerry to be
出任教堂的广告宣传部长 our church's head of advertising.
你说真的吗 You would?
Beth 我们想越级提拔你为医药部负责人 Beth, we'd like to promote you from horse surgeon
不走什么从医马到医人再往上的路子了 straight past human surgeon to head of medicine.
那是我的梦想啊 我的梦想 That's my dream! That's my dream.
感谢各位 这太突然了 Thank you. This is all so overwhelming.
但是 But, uh...
- 我们不能接受 - 绝对不行 - We can't. - Absolutely not.
你说什么 I'm sorry?
十六年来我们一直期望女儿能尊重我们 We've been waiting 16 years for our daughter to respect us,
但是关键在于 那得是我们的女儿 but the key is, it has to be our daughter,
而不是她现在这幅样子 not this person she's become.
我们还是想试试在没有位高权重的新工作的情况下抚养她 We'll take our chances raising her without fancy new jobs,
不受这个建立在土豆上的宗教的影响 outside of a potato-based religion.
算了 And you know what?
我不想再假装我们是因为有了孩子 I-I'm sick of pretending that we're together
才走到一起的 because of the kids in the first place.
我娶你是因为你即是我的至爱 I married you because you're the love of my life.
和你在一起真是幸运 我从未对你说过这些 And I'm lucky to have you, and I never tell you that!
经历过此事 我们家庭会更加融洽无间 You know, we will come out of this stronger as a family.
求求你别这样 别这样 Please don't do this! Please don't do this!
- Summer - 你听我说 - Summer! - Summer, listen carefully.
我偷了一个回形针 藏在嘴里的 I stole a paper clip, and I have it in my cheek,
但我不知道该怎么弄 现在好疼啊 but I don't know what to do with it, and it hurts.
不会有事的 你们回来的时候就会变成宝宝了 You're going to be okay. You will come back as babies.
我就是个宝宝 现在就是 I am a baby! I'm a baby now!
有人吗 Hello?
有人在吗 Is anybody here?
总统阁下 Mr. President!
这里是蓝鸟 This is bluebird!
代号T9A Code Tango Niner Alpha!
取消发射 取消 喂 Abort launch! Abort! Hello?
他把我屏蔽掉了 He's blocked me out.
阁下 我得去帮Rick渴嗨爽起来 Sir, I need to get to the stage and help Rick get schwifty!
再渴嗨爽也没用 Morty It won't matter how schwifty you get, Morty.
将军把核弹设定在 The general's got nukes
地球的歌演奏到一半时发射 set to launch halfway through earth's song!
那你会开黑鹰直升机吗 Oh, my God! Uh, c-can you fly a black hawk?
甜甜圈的洞能放下教皇的[哔]吗 Can the pope's [bleep] fit through a doughnut?
呃 不好说 Uh, I'm... Not sure.
我也是这个意思 Exactly.
让我看看你的能耐 Show me what you got!
呃 Uh...
一只青蛙一张嘴 两只眼睛四条腿 Lapoo lapoo lapoo dops, napoo napoo napoo nots
朝着头 升去吧 Headward, free now to rise.
你们看巨头们 Hey, look at the heads!
他们好像生气了 Looks like the heads are getting angry!
我真的不会开这玩意 Morty I'm really bad at this, Morty!
上面按钮太多了 There are way too many buttons in this thing!
总统阁下 如果说我今天学到了一件事 Mr. President, if I've learned one thing today
那就是有时管不了[哔]的那么多 it's that sometimes you have to not give a [bleep]!
扑通一声跳下水 Napoo napoo nots.
你们要求还真高 Ugh. Tough crowd.
我确信 I'm sure that has--
他们的愤怒和此事无关 That has nothing to do with this.
巨头们不高兴了 The heads are displeased!
Summer Summer!
呃 Um...
Morty Morty!
万岁 Hooray!
好耶 你看 Hooray! Look!
万岁 Hooray!
巨头们喜欢这样 The heads love this!
我们不杀他们一家的时候巨头才高兴 They love it when we don't kill the Smith family!
停下 No! Stop that!
你没资格解读巨头的意志 You're not allowed to interpret the will of the heads!
取消核打击 我是总统 Call off the nuclear strike! This is the president!
取消核弹发射 Stop the nuclear missile launch!
快点发射 Just launch the missiles!
你玩完了 Boo! Not cool!
我是唯一一个和巨头交流的人 I'm the only one that speaks to the heads!
不合格 Disqualified!
巨头觉得他不合格 抓住他 The heads disqualified Vagina! Get him!
不合格 Disqualified!
Ice-T Ice-T?!
对 就是我 Ice-T That's right. It's me-- Ice-T.
我现在在乎了 是你让我在意的 I care now. You made me care more.
恕我直言 With all due respect,
我想听听他们两个要表演什么 I'd like to hear what Rick and Morty have to play.
怎么样 Rick What do you say, Rick?
我们开搞 I say, let's do it!
万岁 Hooray!
耶 Yeah.
好 All right.
- 哦耶 - 嗯哼 - Oh, yeah - Uh-huh.
好戏开始 Here we go.
- 哦耶 - 和我一起唱 - Oh, yeah. - Sing it with me.
- 低下你的头 翘臀屁股柔 - 哦耶 - Head bent over, raised up posterior. - Oh, yeah
低下你的头 耶 翘臀屁股柔 Head bent over, Yeah, raised up posterior.
和我一起唱 Sing it with me now!
天呐 Oh, my go--
低下你的头 Head bent over, Yeah.
翘臀屁股柔 Raised up posterior. All right!
- 低下你的头 - 哦耶 - Head bent over. - Oh, yeah!
翘臀屁股柔 Raised up posterior!
988季"行星好音乐"之后 After 988 seasons of "Planet Music",
克鲁星的评委们决定最终冠军由地球夺得 the cromulons have decided to declare earth the final winner
为我们的音乐真人秀落下帷幕 and bring our musical reality show to a conclusion.
再见 Goodbye.
- 真棒 - 我们做到了 - Yeah! - We did it! Yes!
我们可以出专辑了 Let's get a music album now!
他刚才是说"音乐真人秀"吗 Did he just say "Musical reality show"?
好像我们一直在把一些毫无关联的事物 Yeah, it's possible that we may have been correlating
联系在一起 some things that weren't actually related at all.
救命啊 Help!
我们得把他弄下来 We should go get him.
如果我需要帮忙的话 希望还能麻烦你们 I hope I can call on you and Rick again if I need you, Morty.
没问题 而且我 Sure thing. And I--
我想跟你拍个自拍 I was kind of hoping that I could get a selfie with you?
这个嘛 今天的事你要是和别人提到 Actually, if you try to tell anyone what happened here,
我们只会否认 或者做更过分的事 we'll deny it and probably worse.
明白了 Understood.
死死死吧 D-I-I-I-I-ie!
不要不要啊 Oh, no, no, no!
他为什么没变成蛇 Why didn't he turn into a snake?
商业机密 总统阁下 Trade secret, Mr. President.
粒子射线装在表上 装蛇的容器绑在腿上 Particle beam in a wristwatch, snake holster on the leg.
我爱死你了 I love this man!
镁J 氢F Magnesium-J, Hydrogen-F...
父亲 Father.
你在地球上的无私事迹 Word of your selfless acts on the Earth planet
已经在星系中广为传播 have traveled across the galaxy.
我已经变了 I have changed.
我已经准备好和字母域的同胞们重逢了 I am ready to rejoin my brethren on alphabetrium.
很好 Very well.
现在终止对你的放逐 Your exile ends today.
欢迎回家 Water-T Welcome home, Water-T.
数字族人进攻了 The numbericons! They're attacking!
准备战斗 Battle stations!
啊 Aah!
父亲 Father!
我爱你 孩子 I love you, son.
我不该把你变成冰的 I should have never turned you to ice.
Water-T 你要去哪里 Water-T, where are you going?!
数字族人太多了 There's too many of them!
那就该做做减法了 Then I better crunch the numbers.
今夏
水T：
数字人崛起