翻译: 为爱人爆肝的Kimuu
校对: 被爱人感动的阿朽
后期: 逼爱人卖肾的小萌
压制: 凯撒
瑞克与莫蒂
电波诚译
第一季 第五集
快跑 Run!
Morty 动手 Morty, do it!
快摁按钮 Hit the button now!
我做不到 Rick I can't do it, Rick!
这可是我的爸妈和姐姐啊 They're my parents and sister!
Morty 我已经和你说过了 这不是你家人 Morty, I already told you it's not your family!
是另一个未来的平行宇宙里 They're clones from an alternate reality,
被外星恶灵附身的他们 possessed by demonic alien spirits from another dimension's future!
你是得要什么记忆辅助装置之类的吗 Do you need a mnemonic device or something?
快摁按钮 Just hit the button, already!
不要 Morty 我爱你 亲爱的 Morty, please, I love you, sweetheart.
噢 Oh!
干得好 Morty Good work, Morty.
这这这些外星恶灵可是非常珍贵的 You know, th-th-these demonic alien spirits are really valuable.
你还好吗 Morty You okay, Morty?
我跟你说了那些金枪鱼不能吃了 I told you not to trust that tuna.
我不管他们究竟是什么 I just killed my family!
我刚杀了我的家人 I don't care what they were.
是吗 Morty I don't know, Morty.
有的人出大价钱就为了迈出这一步呢 Some people'd pay top dollar for that kind of breakthrough.
Rick 我受够了 You know what, Rick? That's it!
我受够这些疯狂的冒险了 I'm done with these insane adventures!
我的心灵受到了创伤 That was really traumatizing!
我不干了 I quit! I'm out!
哇 哇 哇 Whoa, whoa, whoa!
别啊 Morty 别别别这样 Come on, Morty, don't don't don't be like that.
宇宙就是这样疯狂而混乱的啊 The universe is a crazy, chaotic place.
你才疯狂又混乱 You're the one that's crazy and chaotic!
冒险应该是轻松愉快才对 Adventures are supposed to be simple and fun.
是啊 Morty 是啊 Oh, yeah, Morty, yeah.
这这这这种话 跟班的说起来当然轻松 Yeah, that that that's real easy to say from the sidekick position.
那那不然下次 你来负责 But but, uh, how about next time you be in charge,
我们看看是怎么个轻松愉快法 and then we'll talk about how simple and fun it is?
真的吗 Rick Seriously, Rick?
你让我来做决定吗 Y-y-you'll you'll let me call the shots?
是的 Okay, yeah, fine.
不过为了更有意思些 Morty But let's make it interesting, Morty.
如如如果你的冒险很烂 我们半路放弃了 I-I-I-if your adventure sucks and we bail halfway through it,
那以后的冒险你都不准抱怨 you lose the right to bitch about all future adventures.
还有 你得帮我洗一个月的衣服 Plus, you have to do my laundry for a month.
没问题 硬汉 Okay, all right, tough guy!
但如果成功的话 But if my adventure's good,
以后每三个冒险就由我做主 I get to be in charge of every third adventure!
每十个 Every tenth.
成交 Deal. All right.
那那我们快点出发吧 W-well, come on, let's get going.
爸 洗碗机老毛病又犯了 Dad, the dishwasher's doing that thing again.
洗碗的毛病么 Washing dishes?
- 它不洗啊 你能修好它么 - Rick外公 - No. The opposite. Can you fix it? - Grandpa Rick,
我作业不会做 能帮帮我吗 Can you help me with my science homework?
可以啊 别做就好啦 Yeah j-just don't do it.
外公 Grandpa!
Rick 你有什么手状的发明 Hey, Rick, you got some kind of hand-shaped device
能帮我打开这美乃滋的罐子嘛 that can open this mayonnaise jar?
哇 帽子戏法(三连击) Wow. Hat trick.
好吧 Morty 冒险的事情先暂且放一下吧 All right, Morty, let's put a pin in this.
你家这群可怜虫需要我的帮助 I got to help your pathetic family.
说这种话 你不是怂(鸡)了吧 Oh, that sounds like something a chicken would say.
咯咯咯 咯咯咯 Bawk, bawk, bawk, bawk, bawk, bawk.
呵呵 Morty 你真是欺人太甚了 赌约正式开始 Oh, Morty, you done did it this time. It's on.
我真是等不及你的冒险不终而散 I can't wait to watch your adventure lay a huge fart.
至于你们这群渣渣 As for you dingdongs...
这是一个使命必达盒 This is a Meeseeks Box.
我来示范一下 你按这个 Let me show you how it works. You press this.
看过来 我是使命必达先生 I'm Mr. Meeseeks! Look at me!
你说出你的请求 You make a request.
使命必达先生 打开Jerry的傻逼美乃滋罐子 Mr. Meeseeks, open Jerry's stupid mayonnaise jar.
遵命 先生 Yes, siree!
使命必达先生会满足你的请求 The Meeseeks fulfills the request.
搞定 All done!
哇 Wow!
然后他会自动消失 And then it stops existing.
天哪 他自爆了 Oh, my god, he exploded!
没事 他们巴不得这样 Trust me, they're fine with it.
请便 但记得请求不要太复杂 Knock yourselves out, just keep your requests simple.
他们可不是上帝 They're not gods.
行 好了 快点出去吧 大家快滚出去 All right! G-get out of here now! Everybody out of here!
我还有场赌要赢呢 I got a bet to win!
好多心愿想实现啊 So many possibilities.
脑中一片翻腾 My mind is racing.
如果我们要用这东西的话 If we're gonna use this thing,
虽然我觉得还是有点玄 我们的请求得简... which I'm not even sure we should, we need to keep it simp...
我是使命必达先生 I'm Mr. Meeseeks!
我想在学校里变得受欢迎 I want to be popular at school!
行啊 Ooh, okay!
Summer 我刚刚还在说来着 Summer, what did I just...
我是使命必达先生 看过来 Ooh, I'm Mr. Meeseeks! Look at me!
我想成为一个更加完整的女人 I-I-I want I want to be a more complete woman!
Beth Beth!
嗯 行啊 女士 Oh, yeah! Yes, ma'am!
你们这是在乱用吧 You guys are doing it wrong.
他说了要"简单" He said "simple."
你好 我是使命必达先生 Hey, there. I'm Mr. Meeseeks!
使命必达先生 我希望我的高尔夫成绩能减两杆 Mr. Meeseeks, I would like to take two strokes off my golf game.
行啊 没问题 Ooh, yeah! Can do!
搞定 Nailed it.
天哪 Morty 这冒险开始得好无聊啊 God, Morty, what a boring start to an adventure.
我们干嘛不直接去肯塔基州啊 I don't w-w-w-why didn't we just go to Kentucky?
Rick 这是一个奇幻世界 里面充满了神奇的生物和奇幻的东西 Rick, this is a fantasy-type world with creatures and all sorts of fantasy things.
- 我们是来探险的 - 好期待啊 - W-we're going on a quest, okay? - Can't wait.
咳咳 不好意思 Ahem. Excuse me!
我们是两位渴望冒险的谦逊英雄 We are two humble heroes in search of adventure!
天哪 太丢脸了 Oh, my god, so embarrassing.
你们总算来了 两位英雄 你们得帮帮我们 At last! Two heroes! You must help us!
这个村太穷了 This village is terribly poor,
但是住在云端的巨人 yet the giant that lives in the clouds above
却私藏了数不清的财富 has untold treasures!
这样啊 You know what?
我接受你的请求 这位善良又温和的先生 I-I-I accept your call to adventure, good sir, kind sir.
走吧 Rick 云端上住着巨人呢 Come on, Rick. There's a giant in the clouds!
呵呵 新手的运气 Yeah. Beginner's luck.
总而言之 与Summer Smith的友谊是可贵的 In conclusion, a friendship with Summer Smith is the most valuable
和Summer友谊天长地久
能让你们年轻的生命更加充实 and enriching experience of your young lives.
我是使命必达先生 看过来 I'm Mr. Meeseeks! Look at me!
谢谢 Thank you!
使命必达先生是吗 Uh, Mr. Meeseeks, was it?
我是基恩 阴道 Yeah. Gene Vagina.
我最近因为监护权和前妻有点问题 我想能不能 Listen, I'm in a bit of custody thing with my ex and was wondering...
没事 我找Summer要你的联系方式好了 No, I'll g-get your info from Summer.
我17岁时就怀孕了 I got pregnant at 17.
我还是上完了兽医学院 I mean, I still put myself through veterinary school.
我很成功 但要是当时我没能 Yes, I'm successful, but what if I hadn't...
我只是想说 时过境迁 I'm just saying, somewhere along the way,
那个天真烂漫的马斯基根少女已经不复存在了 I lost that wide-eyed girl from Muskegon.
她还在你心里啊 Beth She's still there, Beth.
至少腰是没了 Well, her waistline isn't.
Beth 即使有了家庭 Beth, having a family
你也还是可以拥有属于自己的一片天啊 doesn't mean that you stop being an individual.
对爱你 依赖你的人 You know the best thing you can do for people that depend on you?
你更应该坦诚 即使这意味着放手 Be honest with them, even if it means setting them free.
你的意思是说 我应该离开Jerry You're saying I should leave Jerry.
真不敢相信 终于有人谈到了我的心声 I can't believe I'm finally having this conversation.
还要酒吗 More wine?
不用 我喝得够多了 I think I've had enough.
肩放松 自然往后收 Jerry Remember to square your shoulders, Jerry.
是啊 是啊 我知道了 Yeah, yeah. I got it.
没事的啦 看过来 我是使命必达先生 That's okay. I'm Mr. Meeseeks! Look at me!
再来一次 头压低一点 Try again and keep your head down.
所以到底要干嘛 Okay, well, which is it?
收肩还是头压低一点 Square my shoulders or keep my head down?
两个都要 但是最重要的是 你得放轻松 Well, it's both. But most importantly, you got to relax.
使命必达先生 You know what, Mr. Meeseeks?
我觉得这样没用 我放弃了 I don't think this is working. I give up.
对不起 Jerry 你不能放弃 I'm sorry, Jerry, but it doesn't work like that.
我是使命必达先生 I'm Mr. Meeseeks.
我必须满足你的请求然后消失 看过来 I have to fulfill my purpose so I can go away. Look at me.
那你随意吧 我逊爆了 Well, make yourself comfortable, because I suck.
不 我才逊爆了 No, Jerry, I'm the one who sucks!
我试试这个办法 Let me try something.
我是使命必达先生 看过来 I'm Mr. Meeseeks! Look at me!
- 嗨 使命必达先生 我是使命必达先生 看过来 - 嗨 - Hi, Mr. Meeseeks! I'm Mr. Meeseeks! Look at me. - Hi!
你能帮我让Jerry的高尔夫成绩少两杆嘛 Can you help me get two strokes off of Jerry's golf swing?
当然可以 我是使命必达先生 Can do! I'm Mr. Meeseeks!
他的肩有往后收嘛 Is he keeping his shoulders squared?
他有在努力 Ooh, he's trying!
好了 Mort All right, Morty.
我们到了这蠢巨人的城堡里面了 W-w-we're in your stupid giant's castle.
接下来做什么 W-what do we do next?
放轻松行吗 Rick Would you just relax, Rick?
我们只要找到宝藏室就行了 All we got to do is find the treasure room, okay?
简单明了 It's nice and simple.
冒险这么这么一帆风顺真是对不起啊 You know, I-I-I'm sorry everything's going so smoothly and adventurously.
不好了 Morty Uh-oh, Morty.
事情不太妙了啊 Startin' to get a little hairy.
老大 我们接下来该怎么做 What do you want to do, boss?
快点 躲到这个饼干罐后面 Come on, hurry. Behind this cookie jar.
(杰克与豌豆中巨人所念四行诗的第一句) Fee! Fi! Fo! Fum!
放弃吧 Morty 游戏到此为止 Just give up, Morty. This is game over.
只要你开口 我们现在就能回去 I'll take us home right now. You just say the word.
没戏 Rick 这都是冒险的一部分 No way, Rick. This is all part of it.
冒险就是要有冲突 要勇敢直面 Adventures have conflict. Deal with it.
我闻到了...(第二句 我闻到了英国人的血味) I smell the blood of...(an English man)
- 我操 - 天哪 - Holy crap. - Oh, boy.
他看起来快不行了 Morty He looks pretty bad down there, Morty.
要失血而亡了 Looks like he's bleeding out.
天哪 Dale Oh, Jesus! Dale!
- 你们这群混蛋 - 不好 - You sons of bitches! - Oh, man.
911吗 Hello, 911?
我老公被迷你人袭击了 My husband has been attacked by tiny people!
已经奄奄一息了 He's dying!
听着 我们懂 Hey, look, we get it.
你们很小 最近又不太景气 然后你们就想 You're little, you're down on your luck, you think,
"反正他是个巨人 "Hey, he's a giant.
不妨我们潜入他家 先抢劫再杀人灭口 多好啊" Why don't we break into his home, rob him, and murder him?"
事情的经过不是这样子的 But that's not how it went down!
没差 反正事情就这么入案了 Oh, well, it's going down like that.
你们两个就这么入狱吧 You're both going down like that.
哇 Morty 你真是让我见识到了怎么冒险啊 Ooh, boy, Morty, you're really showing me how it's done.
真是简单又有趣 Real straightforward and fun.
放下想要变得受欢迎这个想法 Like, letting go of the need to be popular
才能更好地让别人喜欢你 is what makes people like you.
真爱来自自爱 The most important love you can receive is from yourself.
Jerry 虎口下握 靠近击球点 Okay, Jerry, you got to just choke up on the club!
到底干嘛 下握还是随球把挥杆动作做完 Well, which is it, choke up or follow-through?!
Jerry 拜托 我们说了好几次了 Aww, come on, Jerry, we've been over this.
两个都要做到 You know you got to do both!
我们和你一样心烦 This is as frustrating for us as it is for you.
别来和我扯这些 这只会让我压力更大 Don't tell me that! That just puts pressure on me!
- 试着放松啦 - 你才该放松 - Just try to relax. - You try to relax!
你试着放松过吗 真是自相矛盾 Have you ever tried to relax?! It is a paradox!
这些使命必达先生 可真棘手啊 These Meeseeks, huh? Kind of a handful.
你们肯定也很头疼吧 I can't imagine what you two must be going through.
Jerry 我们的使命必达先生都已经消失几个小时了 Our Meeseeks have been gone for hours, Jerry.
你这是在逗我吧 You're kidding me.
注意到什么变化没 Notice anything different?
等等 你说几个小时前就消失了? I-I-I'm sorry. Hours?
爸 看妈妈多美 Dad, mom is a beautiful woman!
你这样会失去她的 Look at her! You will lose her!
呃 Uhh...
Jerry 你能回来继续练习了嘛 Hey, Jerry, you mind if we get back to the task at hand?
使命必达先生一般不需要存活这么久的 Meeseeks don't usually have to exist this long.
这感觉怪怪的 It's getting weird.
法庭内保持肃静 Order in the court!
在陪审团裁定前 Before the jury reaches its verdict,
我想先澄清 我个人认为你们两个是有罪的 I just want to say that I consider you both very guilty.
真是奇妙的冒险啊 伙计 Oh, great adventure, Buddy.
Rick和Morty进巨人监狱 Rick and Morty go to giant prison.
要是有人不小心掉块肥皂 You know, if somebody drops the soap,
砸我们头上 我们的脊柱就直接被砸碎了 Morty it's gonna land on our heads and crush our spines, Morty.
那之后再奸尸多容易 You know, i-i-i-it'll be really easy to rape us after that.
我们不会有事的 Rick We're gonna be okay, Rick.
你想怎么做 他们把我的传送枪没收了 How? They took my portal gun.
这案子一目了然 Morty This is an open-and-shut case, Morty.
你觉得还能发生什么事吗 You know, w-w-w-what do you think's gonna happen,
凭空出现一个有魔力的天使 然后... some magical angel's gonna show up and then...
Fee Fi Fo Fum Fee! Fi! Fo! Fum!
我闻到了侵犯公民自由的味道 I smell the violation of civil liberties!
法官大人 我来自一个迷你人倡导团体 Your honor, I'm from a tiny-persons advocacy group
我来此是为了递交驳回此案的动议 and I have here in my hand a motion to dismiss.
这些迷你人未曾被告知他们的巨人权利 These little men were never read their giant rights
所以应当被 fi释 fo放 and are therefore free-fi to fo-home.
他到底在说什么啊 W-what the hell is he talking about?
我的意思是他们自由了 They're free to go, is what I meant.
我我我只是想贴近我们的口头禅而已 I-I-I'm deconstructing our our thing we say.
我们不是巨人嘛 居然没人懂 算了随便吧 We're giants. Nobody got that? Whatever.
我就和你说嘛 Rick 我们做到了 Oh, man, what did I tell you, Rick? We did it!
Morty 看来传送枪还能用 All right, Morty, looks Like the portal gun's still working.
准备回家了吗 You ready to head home?
是啊 这样你就逞心如意了不是嘛 Rick Oh, yeah, you'd like that, wouldn't you, Rick?
我们还不能放弃 Well, you know what? We're not bailing out just yet.
我们还要去找一些宝藏什么的 You know, we're gonna go find some treasure or something
带回去分给那些村民呢 and we're gonna bring it to those villagers.
Morty 别逞强了 这明显是徒劳无功 Morty, cut your losses. This is obviously a wash.
是啊 我们一开始被捕的时候你也是这么说的 Yeah, you were saying that back w-w-w-when we first got arrested,
巨人法院
现在我们被释放了 还大步流星的走出法院呢 but here we are, you know, walking down the Courthouse steps.
天哪 Morty Oh, boy, Morty.
通常从法院的楼梯走下去是冒险里比较简单的部分 Usually, walking down the Courthouse steps is the easy part of the adventure.
怎么说 Morty What do you say, Morty?
我说 帮把手 跟班 I say give me a hand, Sidekick.
我是使命必达先生 I'm Mr. Meeseeks.
大家都给我闭嘴 我再试试 Everybody shut up! Let me try!
可恶 可恶 可恶 Damn it! Damn it! Damn it!
- 我要出门了 - 哦 什么? - I'm going out. - Wait. What?
你在忙 而我肚子饿了 所以想出去吃个饭 Well, you're busy. I'm hungry. I thought I'd go out.
你是想让我开心呢 还是想让我被关起来 Do you want me to be happy or do you want me to be in prison?
哇 哇 哇 你这脾气是... 我陪你去吃晚饭吧 Whoa, whoa, where in the hell is... I'll take you to dinner.
不是吧 Come on.
嘿 听着 我也不愿意这么废柴 Hey, you know what? It's hard being me, too.
我马上就来 I'll be right there.
听着 我的婚姻还亟待拯救呢 Look, I've got a marriage to keep together.
这个挥杆的问题 更该操心的是你们 不是我 At this point, my golf swing is more your problem than mine.
我受不了了 我只想去死 I can't take it anymore. I just want to die!
我们都很想死啊 我们可是使命必达先生 We all want to die! We're Meeseeks!
你为什么要把我拖下水 Why did you even rope me into this?
因为他把我拖下水了啊 'Cause he roped me into this!
那边那个 是他把我拖下水 Well, him over there, he roped me into this!
是他把我拖下水 Well, he roped me into this!
那我呢 是他把我拖下水 Well, what about me? He roped me into this.
我是被那边那个拖下水的 Well, that one over there roped me into this.
是他把我拖下水 Well, he roped me into this.
Morty 这种故事情节真是人人爱啊 Yeah, Morty, this is the part of the story everybody loves.
爬下650,000级巨型阶梯 Scaling down 650,000 oversized steps.
呵呵 如果这是一个故事 All right, okay, y-you know, if this was a story,
这段就会被直接删掉了 白痴 this part wouldn't be included, Stupid.
Rick 没想到吧 快看下面 Hey, Rick, what do you know? Look down there.
小渴栈
像是个造在阶梯里的客栈 Looks like some kind of tavern something built right into the side of the step.
哇 Rick 这才像是一场冒险嘛 Oh, wow, Rick. Now, this is more like it.
快看 这里有小小的阶梯形人 Look, there's little staircase-shaped people in here.
各式各样稀奇古怪的角色呢 A-all kinds of crazy characters.
这地方真棒 This place is great, you know?
稀奇古怪有很有趣 It's whimsical and fun.
- 妈的 你看什么看 - Rick 淡定 - What are you looking at, mother f**ker. - Easy, Rick.
别理他们 这些阶梯小精灵脾气挺怪的 Pay them no mind. Those stair goblins can be moody.
你们想来点些什么 Now, what can I getcha?
我们有斯伽洛罂粟 We've got skarlog poppies,
放轰 哈鸡嗝丝 不撸基斯 多汁时间宝 flurlow, halzingers, bloogies, juicy time babies...
随便啦 你们这里有苏格兰威士忌嘛 Yeah yeah yeah. How about some scotch whiskey?
这你总有吧 还是只有一堆瞎扯的单词 You got any of that around here? Or just a bunch of nonsense words?
Rick 请给我们两杯不撸基斯 Rick. We'll have two bloogies, please.
然后 我们想问 And, uh, we were wondering,
这里有让两名英雄更快下楼梯的办法么 is there a faster way two heroes could get down these stairs?
你们需要搭便车吗 Y'all need to ride down the stairs?
我的名字是滑溜顺滑小阶梯 My name is Slippely-Slippery Stair.
25傻屌 我就能背你们下去 I'll take you down there for 25 shmeckels.
25傻屌 那是什么东西啊 25 shmeckels? I don't know how much I don't know what that is.
是很多 还是很少 Is that a lot? Is it a little?
我这对硕大的假胸也是这价钱 That's exactly how much I spent on my big fake boobies.
嗨 我是买胸达人先生 我愿意出25傻屌买这对胸部 Hi, I'm Mr. Booby Buyer. I'll buy those boobies for 25 shmeckels.
好诱人的开价 但我还是拒绝好了 It's a tempting offer, but I'm gonna have to decline.
可恶 太可惜了 Rats! What a shame.
Morty 你的冒险没什么前途了 Morty, your adventure's in a spiral.
说真的 是时候该走了 For real, man, time to pull out.
Rick 你知道你为什么老质疑我的冒险吗 You keep heckling my adventure, Rick! You know why?
呃 因为很烂 Uh, because it's lame?
因为你小肚鸡肠 It's because you're petty!
我为了你忍受了多少扯淡的破事儿 You know, h-how many times have I had to follow you into some nonsensical bull crap?
我每次都忍了 Rick I always roll with the punches, Rick.
为什么你就不行 Why can't you?
听着 我要去上个厕所 等我回来的时候 Look, I got to take a leak, and when I come back,
如果你还是没有想通的话 你就自己回去吧 if you haven't learned how to lighten up, don't be here!
随你便 Whatever.
事态已经很明显了 看过来 It's become clear, look at me,
只要我们专攻Jerry的后续打姿 that if we concentrate all our efforts on Jerry's follow-through,
问题就能解决了 我是使命必达先生 we will solve this problem. I'm Mr. Meeseeks.
我是使命必达先生 看过来 I'm Mr. Meeseeks. Look at me.
正解应该是要让他正确握杆 The only thing that's clear is that choking up is the one true solution.
看过来 我是使命必达先生 Look at me. I'm Mr. Meeseeks.
我已经在这里帮Jerry两天了 I've been trying to help Jerry for two days,
对使命必达先生来说已经算是永恒了 an eternity in Meeseeks time,
还是什么都没能奏效 and nothing's worked.
最担心的是我 I fear the worst.
你的失败属于你一个人 老头 Your failures are your own, old man.
我是使命必达先生 看过来 我说后续打姿 I'm Mr. Meeseeks! Look at me. I say follow-through!
- 谁支持我? - 后续打姿 - Who's with me?! - Follow-through.
我是使命必达先生 看过来 I'm Mr. Meeseeks! Look at me!
- 杀了他 - 妈的 - Kill him! - Son of a bitch.
你好 我是软豆先生 How are you today? I'm Mr. Jelly Bean.
嗨 软豆先生 我是Morty Hi, Mr. Jelly Bean. I'm Morty.
我外公和我是来冒险的 My grandpa and I are on an adventure.
真棒 有趣吗 Nice. Is it a fun adventure?
希望吧 I hope so.
但是我开始担心是不是有点脱离正轨了 But I'm starting to get nervous that maybe it's gone a little too far off the rails.
冒险不都这样的嘛 Isn't that what adventures do?
对啊 你说的很对 Hey, you know what? You're right.
一切都挺顺利的 Everything's going fine.
我只要放轻松 顺其自然就好 I just got to relax and go with the flow.
是啊 Yeah.
- 啊 那个 拜拜 - 不 别走啊 - Okay. Uh. Bye. - Uhh, no, stay.
跟着感觉走 Go with the flow.
住手 你让我现在很不舒服 Stop. You're making me really uncomfortable.
不要抗拒我 顺其自然就好 Stop fighting me. Just let this happen.
滚开啊 Get off of me!
*美丽家园阿拉巴马* *Sweet home Alabama*
不要啊 住手 求求你 No! Stop! Please!
别这么[哔]的风骚啊 你个小[哔] Stop being such a ** tease, you sweet little **.
不要 住手 No! No!
大家都给我停下 Everybody sto-o-o-p!
看过来 Look at me!
我的兄弟们啊 在这里流血起不到任何作用 My brothers, nothing will be accomplished by shedding Meeseeks blood.
请求不被满足我们是不会死去的 None of us can die until our job is done.
这个请求根本无法满足 The job can't be done!
我们不可能帮他减去两杆 We'll never get two strokes off his game!
我们不能 No, we won't.
但是我们可以帮他减掉所有的杆数 But we will get all strokes off his game.
- 他想到哪里去了 - 他什么意思 - Where's he going with this? - What's he mean?
在他生命终止的那一刻 When we kill him.
Jerry 或许是时候 我去参加那个我一直向往的旅行了 Jerry, maybe it's time I take that trip I always talk about.
你要去哪里 Where would you go?
不是道 意大利 希腊 阿根廷 I don't know, man. Italy. Greece. Argentina.
这些国家的男人性欲都很旺盛呢 Countries known for their sexually aggressive men.
我和你说过 其实我很喜欢你的新发型吗 Did I tell you how much I love your new haircut?
我靠 发生什么事了 What the heck?
他在那里 There he is!
快逃 Jerry Run, Jerry!
快出来吧 Jerry Come on out, Jerry!
我会好好握杆的 我会做好后续打姿的 你们说什么我就做什么 Guys, I'll choke up. I'll follow through. I'll do whatever you tell me to do, okay?
已经用不着了 Jerry Oh, we're well past that, Jerry.
快点 Rick 别拖时间了 你手里啥牌 Come on, Rick, quit stalling. What do ya got?
看完了就去角落哭吧 Read 'em and weep, fellas!
嘿 Morty Oh, hey, Morty.
听着 之前说了很多关冒险的坏话 我很抱歉 Listen, I'm really sorry about all that stuff I said earlier about your adventure.
我现在很开心 Morty I'm havin' a good time, Morty.
其实没有这么糟 It's not so bad.
我们回家吧 Let's just go home, Okay?
我放弃了 I'm calling it.
冒险到此为止 The adventure's over.
我们现在还不能走啊 Morty We can't leave now, Morty.
我这手气 拦不住啊 I'm on fire!
我现在就想走 Look, I want to leave now.
赌约是你赢了 好嘛 You win the bet, okay?
把传送枪给我 我们走吧 Just give me the portal gun and let's go, please.
求求你了 我只想回家 Please, I just want to go home.
听着Morty 我刚刚赢了一堆傻屌 Listen, Morty. I just won a bunch of shmeckels.
我们用25傻屌让顺滑小阶梯载我们回去 Why don't we use 25 of them to pay Slippery Stair here for a ride back to the village,
然后把剩余的傻屌给村民怎么样 and then we'll give the rest of the shmeckels to the villagers, huh?
真的嘛 Really?
真的 Morty Sure, Morty. Yeah.
好的冒险需要一个好的结局 You know, a good adventure needs a good ending.
坐稳咯 Buckle up!
使命必达先生来到这个世界上不是为了寻求意义的 Jerry Meeseeks are not born into this world fumbling for meaning, Jerry!
我们的存在只为了满足一个愿望 We are created to serve a singular purpose
为了实现这个愿望我们可以不择手段 for which we will go to any lengths to fulfill!
存在于世上对我们来说是痛苦的 Jerry Existence is pain to a Meeseeks, Jerry.
我们为了减去痛苦可以不择手段 就问... And we will do anything to alleviate that pain. Just ask...
你叫什么 女士 What's your name, ma'am?
Samantha 求求你 先生 他要什么就给他吧 S-samantha. Please, Mister! Give him what he wants!
无辜的人要因我而死了 Innocent people are going to die because of me.
我为什么就这么平庸呢 Why am I so mediocre?
Jerry 转身 挺背 Jerry, turn around. Straighten your back.
弯膝 弯下去 Bend your knees. Bend them.
肩膀往后 深吸一口气 Square your shoulders. Take a deep breath.
我爱你 I love you.
我数到三 Jerry I'm counting to three, Jerry.
这[哔]的是在搞什么 What the f**k is going on?
他成功了 He's got it!
这一下能减不少差点了 Th-th-that's a lower handicap stro-o-ke!
不好意思 但是我是个比较顽固的使命必达先生 Excuse me. I'm a bit of a stickler Meeseeks.
你的近距离击球呢 What about your short game?
天哪 天哪 我的天哪 Oh, my god, oh, my god!
你的近距离击球呢 What about your short game?!
喔 好棒 Ooh, nice!
我觉得我们还是打包就好 I think we'll take our food to go.
想都别想 No, you won't.
警察要来了 你有很多问题得慢慢回答呢 The police are coming. You have so many questions to answer.
好吧 Fair enough.
谢谢你 好心的先生 我们的村子有救了 Thank you, kind sir. Our village is saved!
你们可真是真英雄啊 You are both true heroes!
好样的 Morty 看来赌约是你赢了 Good job, Morty. Looks like you won the bet.
谢啦 Rick 但我也不知道其实该不该赢呢 Thanks, Rick, but I don't know if I should.
其实关于宇宙的看法你是对的 You know, you were right about the universe.
真是疯狂而混乱啊 It's a crazy and chaotic place.
所以每过一段时间就得清扫一下嘛 Well, you know, maybe that's why it could use a little cleaning up every now and then, you know.
这次的冒险这么棒 是因为我们是按Morty的方式来的呀 This one's wrapped up neat and clean because we did it Morty style.
英雄们 我希望把你们介绍给我们的国王 Oh! Heroes, we would like to introduce you to our beloved King
好让他亲自感谢你们 so that he may thank you personally.
呃 其实不用了啦 Uh, no, i-it's cool.
Rick 传送门 快 Rick. Portal. Hurry.
所以 你还在考虑去旅行吗 So... You still thinking about taking that trip?
Jerry 听着 Jerry, look.
虽然我们的婚姻不完美 但是我哪里也不会去的 We don't have a perfect marriage, but I'm not going anywhere.
我们在那冷藏室里的时候 When we were in that freezer,
我意识到那些使命必达先生就和我高中时候的男生一样 I realized the Meeseeks are like the guys I went to high school with.
为了完成自己的"使命"说什么都愿意 Willing to say anything to "complete their task."
我也是其中一员嘛 Was I one of those guys?
区别就在于你没有消失 The difference is you didn't disappear afterwards.
那是因为 我害你怀孕了嘛 Well... I got you pregnant.
是啊 Yeah...
这是怎么回事 What the hell happened to this place?
你的使命必达盒子 Uh, your Meeseeks box happened.
他们因为减不掉Jerry的两杆崩溃了 They went crazy when they couldn't take two strokes off Jerry's golf game.
他可内疚了 He felt terrible.
Jerry智商低又不是我的问题 Hey, it's not my fault that Jerry's an idiot.
爸 你有什么能帮忙清理这里的东西嘛 Dad! Is there anything you can do to clean this place up?
我有一个清理必备盒子 Well, you know, I do have a Fleeseeks box.
不行 不能再用盒子了 No. No more boxes.
什么嘛 盒子里就一个拖把和地板蜡 What? It just has a mop and some floor wax in it.
Wubba lubba dub dubs Wubba lubba dub dubs!
这是我的新台词 Yeah! That's my new thing!
就像那个 叫Arsenio的家伙 I'm kind of like what's his name Ar-arsenio.
Arsenio Hall 美国喜剧演员
这就是Arsenio在台节目里经常说的 Isn't that it's what Arsenio used to say on his show.
Wobble gobba lop bops对吧 Wobble gobba lop bops! Right?
大家 我们下周再见 See you next week, everybody.
笑点完全没有懂 I don't get it.
先生 你得看看这个 Sir, I think you're going to want to see this.
我们在软豆国王衣橱里的保险柜找到了这个 We found it inside a lockbox inside King Jelly Bean's closet.
我们应该把这事公布于众 We have to tell the people.
等等 还是毁掉吧 Wait. Destroy it.
对人民而言 更有意义的是他所代表的价值和理念 Our people will get more from the idea he represented
而不是他的真实面貌 than from the Jelly Bean he actually was.
电波字幕组 欢迎您的加入 官方网站:www.dbfansub.com 新浪微博:@电波字幕组