干得漂亮 伙计们 Good job, guys!
总而言之 这是个很成功的《大开眼戒》式 All in all, I'd say it was a pretty successful Eyes Wide Shut
欢迎来到《大开眼戒》 性爱派对
性爱派对暨联合国儿童基金会募捐活动 sex party slash fundraiser for UNICEF.
时空穿越口设置得很妙 The time traveling glory hole was a great touch.
脏兰迪还在干呢 是吧 老兄 Dirty Randy's still going at it, aren't ya, bud?
我的大屌不慎导致了肯尼迪被暗杀 My dong inadvertently caused the assassination of JFK!
那不是《摩登家庭》里面一个辅线故事吗 Wasn't that a B-story on Modern Family?
那个派对超烂 没人想牺牲拉古 That party sucked. No one wanted to sacrifice Ragu.
看它那惊恐的小眼神 No way the petting zoo's gonna take him back
宠物乐园不可能要它了 with that haunted look in his eyes.
终于成功了 I finally did it!
我完美地给这条海鲈鱼拆了骨 I perfectly deboned this brrranzino.
我试了147次但是...等等 大伙儿呢 It took me 147 tries but-- Wait, wh-where is everyone?
派对结束了 老哥 你处理鱼花了太久 Party's over, man. You took too long with the fish.
跟你说了 点个汉堡厅外卖就好了 I told you, just order Burger Lounge.
参加群交派对的人都该吃汉堡厅 Everyone at an orgy expects to be eating Burger Lounge.
"汉堡厅:吃得干净 操得下流" Burger Lounge: Eat Clean, Fuck Dirty.
我就自己享用 I guess I'll just enjoy
这条完美拆骨了的海鲈鱼好了 this perfectly deboned European Sea Bass by myself.
我们要救他吗 Should we save him?
用什洛普星手法好了 Yeah, I guess give him the Shlorplich maneuver.
郑重声明 我只是在假装窒息 Just for the record, I was just pretending to choke.
糟糕 噗噗变蓝了 Ah crap, the Pupa's blue.
-那意味着什么 -你才是噗噗专家 - Uh, what does that mean? - You're the Pupa specialist!
是哦...所以那意味着什么 Right... and what does that mean?
阿伊莎 调取噗噗变色情报 Aisha, access the Pupa's informational color swatches.
好了 宝蓝色说明噗噗得了犬窝咳 Okay, royal blue means the Pupa has kennel cough,
矢车菊蓝说明我们中有人 cornflower blue means one of us
做了关于另一个人的春梦 just had a sex dream about the other one,
海军蓝说明它的Hulu会员要到期了 navy blue means his Hulu plan is expiring,
蒂芙尼蓝说明我们会得到一个免费的Xbox robin's egg blue means we get a free Xbox,
海蓝色说明我们都会在午夜死亡 Pacific blue means we all die at midnight!
离拿到Xbox的颜色就差一点点 We were so close to gettin' that Xbox!
什洛普星曾是个完美的乌托邦 Planet Shlorp was a perfect utopia
直到被小行星撞上 until the asteroid hit.
一百个成人以及他们的复制人分到了一只噗噗 One hundred adults and their replicants were issued a Pupa
逃往了太空 and escaped into, uh, the space,
在杳无人迹的世界里寻找新家 searching for new homes on uninhabited worlds.
我们坠落在地球上 We crashed on Earth,
困在了一个已经人口过密的星球 stranding us on an already overpopulated planet.
是的 一直是我在说话 That's right, I've been talking this whole time.
抱着噗噗的人是我 我叫科尔沃 I'm the one holding the Pupa. My name's Korvo.
这是我的节目 This is, this is my show.
我的噗噗掉了 你看到我了吗 I just dropped the Pupa. Do you see me?
这太荒唐了 This is ridiculous.
我讨厌地球 这是个糟糕的家园 I hate Earth. It's a horrible home.
人类太蠢了 People are stupid.
他们喜欢让机器为他们代劳 They love having robots do their jobs,
但是却没有建立一个通用的酬劳系统 but they don't create a system of universal income
这样他们就能拿机器的工钱 so they can have money after the robots take their jobs.
这不科学 It makes no sense!
外星也难民 第二季 第八集[季终]
好了 我给你解释一下 Okay, let me break it down for you.
解释一下 解释一下... Oh yeah, baby, break it down, break it down--
给我闭嘴 特里 Shut the fuck up, Terry!
自从噗噗变蓝后 Since the Pupa's turned blue,
它就在持续释放一种蛋白尘埃 he's been emitting a protein dust
这种尘埃会引发我们体内一种自然机制 that triggers a natural mechanism in our bodies
让我们在12小时内身亡 that kills us in 12 hours.
好危险 现在大家认真听了 Ooh, stakes! People are listening now!
我们死后 噗噗会吃掉我们 After we die, the Pupa will eat us,
然后进化 把这个垃圾星球 then evolve and terraform this shit stain of a planet
转化成我们母星的样子 into the image of our home world.
不错 说明我们离完成任务进了一步 Hey, alright! That means we're closer to completing the mission.
我们好棒棒 We are so good at this!
我打赌我死以后 会在学校超有人气 I bet when I die, I'll be so popular at school.
去年珍妮·斯嘉拉托斯当选了返校舞会女王 Last year, Jeannie Scarlatos got crowned homecoming queen
因为有只驼鹿在她心口踹了一脚 after a moose kicked her in the heart.
我从来没死过 Ooh, I've never died before!
但我看了上百遍《老板度假去》 But I have seen Weekend at Bernie's like a hundred times,
我保证死亡会很搞笑 so I guarantee it's gonna be hilarious.
知道吗 死亡对我们来说很棒 You know, dying is gonna be great for all of us.
我们把家当都收拾一下 在前院烧掉吧 Let's gather all our stuff and burn it on the front lawn.
我才不想任何人类在我死后经手我的东西 I don't want any humans touching my shit while I'm dead.
然后我们可以给自己挖好坟 And then we can dig the pits we die in.
我要从基思那儿把我的铁锹拿回来 Ooh, I gotta get my shovel back from Keith.
快点吧 噗噗看起来饿了 Better hurry, Pupa's looking hungry.
基思 不管你现在在干什么蠢事 停下 Keith, whatever dumb shit you're doing right now, stop.
科尔沃 老兄 看我新做的 Korvo! Hey, buddy, check out my new business:
基思牌果汁卷软糖 "Fruit By Keith By The Foot."
我在自己做果味小吃 I'm making my own fruit snacks.
我没空看你的邻里滑稽戏 I don't have time for your crazy neighbor antics.
把铁锹还给我 Give me back my shovel.
好的 你准备挖个坑什么的吗 Oh okay. You digging a hole or something?
你要一定想知道 我12个钟头后要死了 If you must know, I'm gonna be dying in about 12 hours,
我要给自己挖个坟 and I need to dig my death hole.
老天 科尔沃 我很遗憾 你生病了吗 Oh my God. Korvo, I'm so sorry. Are you sick?
没有 是个复杂的外星人事情 No, it's complicated alien shit.
我才不会坐在这里跟个白痴解释 I'm not gonna sit here and explain it to a moron.
我得说 我很佩服你的精神 Well, I gotta say, I'm impressed with your attitude.
我要是知道自己今天要死了 我会抓狂的 If I knew I was going to die today, I'd be freaking out.
什么 为什么 What? Why?
我是说 你懂的 死亡就是终点了 I mean, you know, death is so final.
我会觉得 There's so much I'd feel like
我死前还有好多事要做 I need to do in my life before I die.
你说"死亡就是终点"是什么意思 What do you mean "Death is final"?
大伙儿 Oh, oh, guys.
我们烧完家当之后 给地球撒点盐吧 Um, after we burn our stuff, let's salt the Earth, you know,
-驱邪求平安什么的 -大伙儿 停手 - like, just for safety. - Guys! Guys, stop!
关于死后会怎么样 我们被骗了 We were lied to about what happens when you die!
这意味着我们实际上会得到Xbox吗 Does this mean we actually get that Xbox?
我第一个 我要玩乐高月光游戏 I call first dibs, I wanna play the Moonlight LEGO game!
不 你们知道"人只活一次"是什么意思吗 No! Do know what YOLO means?
不就是白人版本的FUBU品牌吗 Isn't it like the white version of FUBU?
不 基思刚才告诉我 如果你死了 No! Keith just told me that when you die,
一切到此为止 你不能够再做什么了 that's it, you don't get to do anything after!
你就不再存在了 Y-you cease to exist!
什么 不不不不 What? No, no, no, no.
我看了很多动画 死亡不是什么大事 Look, I watch a lot of cartoons, and death is not a big deal.
显然那些动画都不准确 Apparently, those cartoons aren't accurate!
长久以来 我们都应该充实自己 This whole time, we were supposed to be living fulfilling lives!
他还在自己做果丹皮 He's also making his own fruit leather,
我嘲笑了他 直到我尝了尝 and I made fun of it until I tried some,
真的很好吃 and it's actually really good.
但我们11个小时后就要死了 But we're dying in 11 hours.
我们怎么能够用消化一个麦旋风的时间 Well, how are we supposed to live full lives
来活出丰富多彩的一生 in the same amount of time it takes to digest a McFlurry?
或许我们已经充实了自己 Hey! Maybe we're already fulfilled.
我发的一条推被波兹·马龙赞了 One of my tweets did get a like from Post Malone.
他是个大忙人 He's pretty busy.
老天 你说得对 Oh my God, you're right!
或许我们已经充实了自己 去飞船 Maybe we are fulfilled. To the ship!
字典上说 满足感就是 The dictionary defines fulfillment as
"完全发展个人特点后的 "Being satisfied or happy
满足感或幸福感" as a result of fully developing one's character."
好吧 没错 那...那听起来像是我们 Okay, yeah, tha-- I mean, that sounds like us.
我们做到了 我觉得 We've done that, I think.
阿伊莎 调出充实度量表 Ayeesh, pull up the fulfillment meters.
十分充实 八分充实 一般充实 三分充实 不充实
妈的 看看 我们根本没有充实 Fuck ass, look at that! We're hardly fulfilled at all!
阿伊莎 我们离死亡还有多久 Aisha, how much time do we have until death?
11小时43分23秒 Eleven hours, 43 minutes, and 23 seconds.
-糟糕 -完蛋了 - Cripes! - Aw, fuckers!
好吧 冷静 我们还有时间来充实自己 Okay, calm down. We still have time to get fulfilled.
时间很紧 没空浪费 It's gonna be tight, so no time to waste.
每个人都写下所有 Everyone needs to write down
让自己觉得充实满足的事请 all the things that will make you fulfilled.
你们有一个小时 开始 You have one hour. Go!
我们为什么要浪费一整个小时写点子 Ugh, why did we waste a whole hour writing these ideas?
我五分钟就写完了 然后剩下的时间都在 I did mine in, like, five minutes then Googled up-kilt pictures
用谷歌搜索苏格兰裙底的照片 the rest of the time.
苏格兰裙底下有不少大屌 There's some big ol' dongs in that.
妈耶 有好多这种 "学瘸子走路" Geez, there's a lot of these. "Learn how to crip walk."
"拍一部复仇黄片" "Shoot an avenge porn."
"和"房产兄弟"打一架" "Fight the Property Brothers."
粉色的是我写的 Yay! The pink ones are mine!
瘸子步不会让充实度上升 Crip walk dancing isn't gonna move the needle.
我们要选充实度最高 We have to do the one that makes us the most fulfilled
又耗时最短的那件事做 in the least amount of time.
获得青少年选择奖 Win a Teen Choice Award?
那是赢得AGOT大满贯的最后一步 It's the last step to winning an AGOT.
成人影视奖 格莱美 Adult Video News, Grammy,
奥斯卡和青少年选择奖 Oscar, and Teen Choice.
AGOT大满贯其中一项没有用 Part of an AGOT won't do it.
你需要完整的大满贯 You need the whole AGOT.
-终结全球变暖 -我写的 - End global warming? - That's mine.
我也不知道 感觉像是人们挂在嘴边的事 I don't know, it felt like something people talk about, right?
太简单了 Too easy.
用我们的终结全球变暖射线就好了 We could just do that with our End Global Warming Ray.
抓住并杀掉神偷卡门 Hunt down and kill Carmen Sandiego.
棒极了 这是我写的 Hell yeah, this one's mine.
混蛋神偷卡门 总是用她四处旅行谋生 Fuck Carmen Sandiego, always rubbing it in our face
来侮辱我们 that she gets to travel for a living!
帮助一群底层社会孩子们赢得体育冠军 "Help a rag-tag group of kids win a sports championship."
-就是它了 -什么 - Hey, that's it! - What?
关我们什么事 这听起来好蠢 Why would we care about that? It sounds stupid.
这不蠢 这是我的点子 Hey, that's not stupid, that's my idea!
没错 我们不在乎这事 Yes, we don't care about it.
但如果我们做完之后开始在乎了 But if we do care about it after we finish,
那我们就被充实了 then we'll be fulfilled
就像《野鸭变凤凰》里的戈登·孟买一样 just like Gordon Bombay in The Mighty Ducks!
说了这个点子不蠢 雅姆莱克 Told you it wasn't stupid, Yumyulack!
它非常蠢 杰茜 Oh, it was totally stupid, Jesse.
但后来我想到了一个让它变酷的办法 But then I figured out a way to make it cool.
来吧 没时间浪费了 Come on, no time to waste.
老天 你们这些贱人又回来了 Goddamn, you motherfuckers are back again?
我们需要你找到最近的体育锦标赛 We need you to find us the nearest championship game.
好吧 虽然现在是淡季但是让我找找 Okay, it's kinda out of season but let me see.
巴西 里约热内卢
最近的是一个水球比赛 The closest option is a water polo championship
在里约热内卢 你们都有泳衣吧 in Rio De Janeiro. Y'all got swimming suits?
水球不就是湿透的曲棍球 必须有用 Ugh, water polo is just wet hockey. It'll have to do.
外星难民们要去巴西充实人生了 The Solar Opposites are going to Brazil to get fulfilled!
别拍了 我们没时间拍漂亮的远景镜头 Stop that! We don't have time for any cool establishing shots!
路上花了太久了 Ah, that took way too long!
快 找到底层小孩然后开工 Come on, let's find the rag-taggers and get on with this.
老天爷 本姑娘喜欢 Holy guacamole, mama like.
老天 这些汉子没一个看起来底层人民 Goddammit, none of these guys are rag-taggy at all.
他们整天在游泳 当然看起来像希腊雕塑 They swim all day, of course they look like Greek fucking Gods.
谁在乎 Who cares?
随便挑一个队伍 我用底层射线射一下 Just pick a team and I'll zap 'em with the Rag Tag Ray.
有哮喘并来自南美三线国家吗 太好了 Asthmatic and from a C-list South American country? Boom.
他们现在被打上了底层的标签 Now they're tagged to the rag.
-你漏了一个 -不 我没有 - You missed one. - No, I didn't.
我只是想为我父亲赢得比赛 I just want to win for my dad.
他的心脏上生了腚癌 He has butt cancer in his heart.
好吧 伙计们 我知道你们超级底层且很背运 Okay, guys, I know you're super rag-tag and down on your luck
但假如你们听从我们的指导并团队协作 but if you listen to our coaching and work as a team,
我们就一定能赢 we can go all the way!
而且我们得尽快赢 Plus we have to do this as fast as possible.
我只是想让我爸感到骄傲 I just want to make my dad proud.
他因为吸烟 心脏上生了腚癌 He got his heart butt cancer from smoking.
我们知道了 We get it.
1 俄罗斯 2 巴西 3 克罗地亚 4 黑山 5 日本 7 希腊 8 匈牙利 9 巴拉圭
决赛 俄罗斯 VS 巴拉圭
巴拉圭获胜
我爱你 患腚癌的爸爸 I love you, butt cancer dad!
谢谢你让我们成为了冠军 Thank you for making us champions.
但你能把我变回年轻的时候吗 But can you turn me back to young.
我曾经非常性感 嗓音迷人 I was so hot and had a beautiful voice
女人无数 and got tons of pussy.
不行 我们得回去看看我们有多充实 No, we have to get back and see how fulfilled we are.
快 快点 看看计量表 我们达成了吗 Hurry, hurry! Check the meters. Are-are-are we fulfilled?
我觉得相当满足 I feel pretty dang satisfied!
该死 数字几乎没动 Oh shit! They've hardly moved at all.
充满 大部分 部分 少量 无
不 那应该有用的 No! That should've worked.
我们在那个愚蠢的水球上浪费了太多时间 We wasted so much time on that stupid water polo thing.
天啊 噗噗看起来好饥饿 Jesus Christ, the Pupa looks so hungry.
我不能这样死 I can't go down like this!
知道吗 你们都在拖累我 You know what? You're all holding me back!
去你们的 伙计们 我要靠自己充实 Fuck you, guys, I'm getting fulfilled by myself!
-好吧 我要走了 去你的 -放开我 - Okay, I'm gonna go. Fuck you! - Give me a slip.
去你的废物们 Fuck you losers!
帮一位老太太过马路 Help an old lady across the street.
科尔沃的点子怎么都是帮助老太太的 Why are all of Korvo's ideas about doing stuff to old ladies?
你好 老奶奶 站住 Hey, Granny! Stop!
-你弄疼我了 -不 我没有 这是在帮你 - You're hurting me! - No, I'm not, this is helping!
我需要去街对面的公交站 I need to go to the bus on the other side of the street.
没时间 我正在充实自己 No time! I'm getting fulfilled!
-什么鬼 -去死吧 - What the fuck! - Eat shit!
教人识字 愚蠢的杰茜 Teach someone to read. Ugh, stupid Jesse.
我为什么就不能做些很酷的事呢 Why can't I do something awesome,
比如看看我的嘴里能塞多少颗葡萄 like see how many grapes I can fit in my mouth?
你的宝宝现在会识字了 不用谢 Now your baby can read. You're welcome!
什么 为什么 What? Why?
现在你会识字了 我要变充实了 Now you can read. Getting fulfilled!
我本来就会识字 我是位著名的小说家 I could already read, I'm a famous novelist.
你的帽子现在会识字了 Now your hat can read!
住手 你在做什么 Stop that! What are you doing?
-你的车现在会识字了 -救命 - Your car can read! - Help!
这个外星人正在教育我的东西 This alien is educating my things!
不许动 你这个肮脏的外星人 Stop right there, you dirty alien!
天啊 我会识字了吗 Oh God, I can read?
如果我有同情心了怎么办 What if I gain empathy?
如果我学会了那些让我不得不重新评价 What if I learn things that force me to re-evaluate
我强硬派保守观点的东西怎么办 my hardline conservative opinions?
我的天啊 Oh my God!
我时间不多 所以我必须同时学会 I don't have a lot of time, so I have to learn how to skydive
跳伞和受洗 and get baptized at the same time.
我有联邦航空局 上帝和救世主的认证 I'm certified by the FAA and our Lord and Savior--
天啊 Jesus Christ!
把你的头浸到圣水里 Dunk your head in the holy water!
科尔沃 我现在为你受洗 Korvo, I now baptize you
以圣父 圣子和圣灵的名 in the name of the Father, Son, and the--
该死 我把盆掉了 Oh shit, I dropped the bowl!
该死 该死 真该死 Fuck, fuck, fuck!
看来上帝站在我们这边 Oh, looks like God was on our side!
尽管祂的方式很神秘 Although his ways are mysterious.
你在做什么 小姑娘 What are you doing, little girl?
我在解救这些鲸鱼 你个蠢货 I'm freein' the Willys, ya dumb cracker!
享受自由的快乐吧 鲸鱼们 Have fun being free, Willys!
好吧 杰克·史莱特 你已经被亲过了 Alright, Jake Slater, you have been kissed.
声明一下 Just to be clear,
这或许本会让杰茜更充实 而不是我 this probably would have fulfilled Jesse more than me.
我之前从未像这样被人吻过 I've never been kissed like that before.
你愿意和我去舞会吗 Will you go to prom with me?
这取决于你穿什么 Depends on what you're wearing!
-你来这里干什么 -你好 弗朗基女士 - What the fuck are you doing here? - Hello, Ms. Frankie.
雅姆莱克想对你说 "去你妈的 两次 Yumyulack wanted to tell you "To go fuck yourself twice,
你这个过气的臭狗尿" you has-been bag of stinky dog piss."
很伤人 但继续说 Hurtful but continue.
特里想要 And Terry wanted to--
不会吧 Oh, hells no.
写了什么 What is it?
我看着你呢 I'm watching you!
但我在跳舞而你们没有 But I'm dancing like you're not!
不要 Don't--
该死 弗朗基 我赶时间 Dammit, Frankie, I'm on the clock.
等等 萨曼莎 别上那架飞机 我爱你 Wait, Samantha! Don't get on that plane. I love you.
什么 我吗 我根本不认识你 What? Me? I don't know you!
我爱你胜过一切 I love you more than anything I've ever--
天啊 真的好有成就感 Man, that was some good fulfilling!
我好充实 我要开始欢呼了 I'm so fulfull, I'm gonna yack.
我们先不要开始 Let's not start tuggin'
猛拽对方并不存在的小弟弟 each other's nonexistent dicks quite yet.
我们不知道这是否有效 We don't know if it worked.
我有一种预感我已经完全充实了 Oh, I have a feeling I'm completely fulfilled.
我可不是白白给一个女人六个半小时的高潮 I didn't give a woman six and a half orgasms for nothing.
阿伊莎 调出我们的充实程度指标 Aisha, pull up our fulfillment meters
准备好大吃一惊吧 and prepare to be impressed.
十分充实 八分充实 一般充实 三分充实 不充实
八分充实 什么玩意 Mostly? What the fuck?
什么 我不明白 我们完成了纸条上的所有事 What? I don't understand, we did all our slips!
我的每日一词来了 Ooh, my word of the day!
今天的词是 拖沓的 Today's word is dilatory,
意思是以低于正常的速度移动或是行进 meaning moving or proceeding at less than normal speed.
我来造个句 I'll use it in a sentence:
我一直都很拖沓 I am dilatory all the time
因为我有点懒而且非常蠢 because I'm kinda lazy and fuckin' stupid.
完全充实!!
上帝啊 我完全充实了 我做到了 我感觉太棒了 Oh my God, I'm fulfilled! I did it! I feel amazing!
我过了充实的一生 而你们没有 I YOLO'd and you didn't!
你们是没有充实一生的失败者 You're Yo-Losers!
对了 对了 那个按键在哪 Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Where's that button?
滚吧你 你 还有你 Fuck you! Fuck you! And fuck you!
闭嘴 特里 你这个垃圾 Shut up, Terry! You suck.
没错 闭嘴 Yeah, shut up!
我就不 你们几个没有充实生活的傻逼 Make me, you unfulfilled motherfuckers!
天呐 他还真是摔得稀碎 Ah geez, he really splatted.
跌落的地方也没多高 It wasn't even that much of a fall.
大伙 是我的错 Hey, that's my "B" Guys.
别舔特里的血了 你这个肉酱 拿出点尊重来 Stop licking Terry's blood, you Ragu! Show some respect!
等一下 特里死了之后 Wait a minute. When Terry died,
他的充实数值似乎转移到了我身上 it looks like his fulfillment points transferred over to me.
现在 我快要完全充实了 I'm almost fulfilled now.
我的天呐 我想我们这是 Holy shit, I guess we're in a
一个类似《挑战者》那样 最终只能有一个人的情况 "There-can-only-be-one" Highlander-type situation.
等下 我以为那个电影是关于一个火辣的护士 Wait, I thought that show was about a hot nurse
回到过去 搞得她筋疲力尽 who goes back in time to get her ass eaten out?
不 那是《古战场传奇》 No, that's Outlander.
《挑战者》的意思是 我们中间的一个人杀掉另两个 Highlander means if one of us kills the other two,
我们就可以在死之前达到完全充实 we'd be totally fulfilled before we die.
好吧 这说得通 Okay. That tracks.
但是我们不会互相杀害的 对吧 But we would never kill each other, right?
我是说 我 我们是一家人 I mean, w-we're a family.
-是的 我们都是这么想的 -是的 一家人 - Yeah. That's, that's what we all think. - Sure. A family.
我要去屋子的另一个地方祭奠特里了 I'm gonna go mourn Terry in another part of the house.
我要去做点 外星难民的事 I'm gonna go do, uh, some Solar Opposites stuff.
我要去烂番茄写一篇关于 And I am going to go write a Rotten Tomatoes user review
《雷神2 黑暗世界》的影评 of Thor: The Dark World.
这样大家就可以知道我对那部雷神影片的看法了 So people can know my thoughts on that particular Thor movie.
我们不会准备互相残杀真是太好了 It's so great that we're not preparing to kill each other.
美人 准备好大闹一场了吗 Hey, beautiful. You ready to fuck shit up?
操 为什么我把它设计成只有倒车的时候才能转弯 Dammit. Why did I design this to only turn when you go backwards?
完美 Perfect.
阿伊莎 我需要那瓶魔力药水 Aisha, I need that magic potion.
我们存在纳尼亚的那瓶 The one we keep in Narnia?
我们承诺过不会再回去的 We promised we would never go back.
不 是犹太巫师教我做的那瓶 快点 No, the secret magic potion that Jewish wizard taught me! Hurry!
赞美你 我的真主 Baruch Atah Adonai
伊克斯帕利路玛斯 勒维奥萨 Expellilumus Leviosa...
应该是 Expelliarmus 缴械咒 Wingardium Leviosa 悬浮咒
不公平 你有辆坦克 No fair, you have a tank!
是啊 我要炸烂你 Yeah, and I'm gonna blast you
然后好好发展我的人物角色 and develop the shit out of my character!
那可能在我创造出超多的魔力我之前还能有效 Maybe that would have worked before I made my magic me's!
出来吧 孩子们 Come on out, boys!
不公平 That's not fair!
杰茜 你干了什么 你难道不也要杀了我们吗 Jesse, what did you do? Aren't you trying to kill us too?
天呐 不 我永远都不会对我的家人那么做 Oh gosh, no. I would never do that to my family.
典型的杰茜行为 太蠢了 Typical Jesse. So stupid.
吓你一跳 我把整个房子布置的像《小鬼当家》一样 Psych! I Home Alone'd the whole house!
欢迎来到地狱 小伙子们 Welcome to Hell, boys!
死吧 怪异的小科尔沃们 Die, you creepy little Korvos!
哈哈 看你怎么弄掉你身上那么多的羽毛 Ha! Try getting all those feathers off of you!
我要杀了那个小孩 I'm gonna kill that kid!
出来吧 正常大小的科尔沃 Come out here, normal-sized Korvo!
-是时候让我了结你了 -还不是时候 - It's time for me to finish you! - Not quite yet!
来见见食人魔科尔沃 Meet ogre Korvo.
而我称呼他为 食人沃 Or as I like to call him, Orgo.
上帝啊 雅姆莱克死了 Oh my God, Yumyulack is dead!
我的另一个脚趾母亲家的哥哥 My brother from another toe mother!
没错 我杀了他 下一个到你了 Yeah, I killed him, and you're next.
等一下 我们在干什么 这感觉不对 Wait a minute. W-what are we doing? This feels wrong.
我们真的应该互相残杀 Should we really be killing each other
就是为了得到那点分数吗 just to get these stupid points?
我也在想同样的事情 I was just thinking the same thing!
我们应该把最后的十二个小时花在互相陪伴上 We should have spent these last 12 hours with each other,
享受家人们的陪伴 enjoying the company of family.
对不起 杰茜 你说得对 I'm sorry, Jesse. Y-you're right.
科尔沃 我好害怕 Korvo, I'm scared.
死会痛吗 Is, is dying gonna hurt?
不 我 我想死是很平静的 就像是睡着了 No, I, I think it'll be peaceful, li-li-like falling asleep.
我很开心 至少我们会一起死 Well, I'm glad that at least we'll die together.
也许花时间和你爱的人在一起 You know what? Maybe spending time with people you love
才是生命的意义 is what gives your life meaning.
而不是什么遗愿清单 或是让历史老师高潮的太狠 Not some bucket list or making a history teacher cum so hard
以至于她左半边身子失去知觉 she loses feeling in her left side?
科尔沃 你说得太好了 Korvo, that's beautiful.
快过来抱一下 你这个大笨蛋 Come here, ya big lug.
不 科尔沃 No, Korvo!
我的最后一个陷阱 我把它忘得一干二净 My last booby trap, I forgot all about it!
对不起 不 I'm so sorry! No!
等下 Wait!
我完全充实了 I'm fulfilled!
这感觉太棒了 It feels amazing!
我完全充实了 操蛋玩意们 I'm fulfilled, mother scratchers!
但是我只剩下一分钟了 But I only have a minute left.
我必须得把这事做好 I gotta do this right.
科尔沃说过 一切都是为了家庭 Korvo said it's all about family.
是时候让整件事完圆满结束 It's time to bring this baby full circle.
再见 噗噗 Goodbye, Pupa.
记得不要吃我们吃得太快 不然你会肚肚痛的 Remember not to eat us too fast or you'll get a tummy ache.
我躺好了 Any moment now.
也许那台老钟走得有点快了 Maybe that old clock was just a little fast.
天呐 Ah cripes,
我是不是莫名其妙得杀了我全家 我讨厌... did I kill our family for no reason? I hate when--
我 Holy sh--
快看 噗噗吃我们的果实 Look at that Pupa eating our fruit.
也许你可以留一点果实做成果酱 小胖墩 Maybe save some and make a jam, you little fatty!
好吧 下一步呢 Alright, so w-what next?
一旦噗噗吃完了果实 Is the Pupa gonna terraform the world
它就会把地球什洛普化了吗 once he's done eating the fruit?
-你才是噗噗专家 -对对对 - You're the Pupa specialist! - Right, right, right, right.
不 我是帮剩下那些 No, I-I-I meant like for everyone else
不知道噗噗是干什么的人问的 who doesn't know what the Pupa does.
老天 特里 不 Jesus, Terry. No.
这事之后 还有好多步骤才能完成进化 There's like a bunch more steps in his evolution after this.
这才是第八步 还是第九步 我不知道 This is just step eight. Or-or nine. I don't know.
快看它爬来爬去的 你这个饥饿的小噗噗 Oh, look at him go. You were a hungry little Pupa, weren't you?
噗噗 到我这来 狠狠吸干我身上的汁液 Pupa, get over here and suck the sap off my trunk!
你们现在都变成了树吗 Whoa, you're all trees now?
当然了 我们死了之后又以树的形式复活了 Of course we are. We-we died and came back as trees.
为什么你听上去这么惊讶 Why do you sound surprised?
因为这他妈太疯狂了 'Cause it's fuckin' crazy.
人死了之后 就会变成腐烂的糊状物 When humans die, we just turn into rotten mush.
我们不会复活变成树 We don't come back as trees.
好吧 聪明蛋 那这么多树是从哪里来的 Okay, smartass, but then where did all the trees come from?
到处都是 I mean, they're everywhere.
我不知道 那些就是树 I don't know, those are just trees.
你是说 人类的死亡是遵守完全不同的规则 You're telling me human death operates by different rules
我们不需要先充实一生 然后再死去 and we didn't have to get fulfilled before we died?
我猜是不用 I guess not.
因为你的胡言乱语 我们把家都毁了 基思 We destroyed our house because of your bullshit, Keith!
我怎么会知道 How was I supposed to know?
去你妈的 基思 你这个垃圾 Fuck you, Keith! You suck!
你那个基思牌果汁卷卷糖 And your Fruit by Keith by the Foot
尝起来像是基思牌屁汁卷卷屎 tastes like Poop by Keith from the Butt!
因为你 我浪费掉了我隐藏起来的酷炫坦克 I wasted my cool-ass hidden tank because of you!
上帝啊 冷静 我以为你要死了 Jesus Christ, calm down! I thought you were dying!
你这个垃圾臭屎 去你妈的 You're a piece of shit, Keith! Fuck you!
-住手 -死吧 - Stop! - Die, die!
我们长出脚之后 就会来杀了你 When we grow our legs back, we're gonna kill you!
-没错 基思 -我只是想要帮助你们 - Yeah, Keith! - I was just trying to help!
你最好快点搬走 基思 你最好把你的身份改了 You better move, Keith! You better change your identity!
我们会用余生 We're going to spend the rest of our lives
追杀你的 hunting your stupid ass down!
完全充实!!
原来一起憎恶基思 Wow, it turns out hatin' on Keith together
是最终让他们完全充实的办法 was what finally fulfilled them all.
-我感觉太充实了 -我也是 - Ah , I feel so fulfilled! - Me too!
这感觉太棒了 Aw, this is amazing.
我们一开始就应该折磨基思就好了 We should've just been tormenting Keith all along.
一家人一起如此充实真的太好了 It's so nice to be fulfilled as a family.
我已经能看到我的脚逐渐成型了 I can already see my feet starting to form,
你最好收拾快点 你这个小婊子 so you better pack up, you little bitch!
你不知道我们要演上多少季 基思 You don't know how many seasons we're gonna have, Keith!
我们是外星人 我们可以变成树再重生 We're aliens. We can grow into trees and come back
一季又一季 season after season!
我要把你眼睛挖出来 I'm gonna cut your eyes out!
没错 我要踹爆你的鸡儿 Yeah, I'm gonna kick you in the dick!
大伙 总而言之 You know guys, all in all,
今天这样结束挺令人满意的 this was a pretty satisfying end to our day.
没错 这也算是我们一整年的结局了 Yeah, that's actually kind of the end to our whole year.
多棒的一年 我们今年做了好多事 Man, what a run. We did a lot this year.
等下 这就真的结束了 Wait, that's really the end?
我们跑来跑去 担心着死掉 就这样结束了 We ran around worrying about death, that's how we go out?
是啊 你还想要什么 Yeah, I mean, what else do you want?
那种毫无创意的假日特别集吗 Some fuckin' hacky holiday special?
我永远永远都不会 I would never, ever, in a million years
做些又垃圾又为了吸金的 do something as lame and cash-grabby
《外星也难民》节日特别集 as a Solar Opposites holiday special.
是的 《外星也难民》相当正直 Yeah, the Solar Opposites have integrity.
没错 我们很正直 That's right. We have integrity!
我们永远都不会为任何事牺牲我们的正直 And we would never sacrifice that for anything--
等下 等下 Hold on, hold on.
我收到了Hulu的短信 I'm getting a text from Hulu.
上面写了什么 科尔沃 What does it say, Korvo?
是关于我们的正直吗 Is it about our integrity?
算是吧 我操 Sort of. Goddammit.
和外星也难民一起 庆祝Hulu日吧
这是真的 我们同意做这事了