我需要更多转推 不然霍利斯特就不会要我 I need more retweets or I'll never get hired at Hollister.
你的简历第一条就要写上你的影响力 Your Klout goes at the top of your rezzie, brah.
你有看到我今天发了什么吗 "加菲猫做爱" Did you see what I posted today? "Garfield fucks!"
但只有三个人转发 But I only got three fucking retwats.
你得给我找一批机器人水军 You gotta spot me for a bot army--
我知道你会说什么 I know what you're gonna say.
你不该再缩小人了 That you shouldn't be shrinking people down anymore?
他活该 He deserved it.
嗯 没错 他就是个傻子 Yeah, he did. He was a real yutz.
等等 你对墙的事没意见了吗 Wait, you aren't all freaked out about the Wall stuff anymore?
监督你就像是第二份工作 Eh, policing you is like a whole second job.
今年 我要专注于让我开心的事 This year, I'm focusing on what makes me happy.
我要考取我的房产经纪人执照 I'm getting my realtor's license.
你确定之后你不会抱怨吗 You're sure you're not gonna be on my ass about this later?
我只是不敢相信你还在缩小人 I just can't believe you're still shrinking people down.
-累不累啊 -我不觉得 - It's tired. - Not to me.
这是我最爱的一部分 It's my favorite part of our whole thing.
他们在里面打仗 They had an awesome little war in there.
-我要继续做下去 -随便了 - Ah, I'm gonna keep doing it. - Whatevs.
什洛普星曾是个完美的乌托邦 Planet Shlorp was a perfect utopia.
直到被小行星撞上 Until the asteroid hit.
一百个成人以及他们的复制人分到了一只噗噗 One hundred adults and their replicants were issued a Pupa
逃往了太空 and escaped into, uh, the space,
在杳无人迹的世界里寻找新家 searching for new homes on uninhabited worlds.
我们坠落在地球上 困在了一个已经人口过密的星球 We crashed on Earth, stranding us on an already overpopulated planet.
是的 一直是我在说话 That's right, I've been talking this whole time.
抱着噗噗的人是我 我叫科尔沃 I'm the one holding the Pupa. My name's Korvo.
这是我的节目 我的噗噗掉了 你看到我了吗 This is-this is my show. I just dropped the Pupa. Do you see me?
这太荒唐了 This is ridiculous.
我讨厌地球 这是个糟糕的家园 I hate Earth. It's a horrible home.
人类笨死了 People are stupid.
有的动物是宠物 但他们吃动物 Some animals are pets, but they-they eat animals,
他们不吃的动物 就被训练打篮球 and other animals they don't eat, they train them to play basketball.
就像飞狗巴迪 like Air Bud Dog.
为什么不能什么动物都吃 How come you can't just eat any animal.
外星也难民 第二季 第二集
特里 过来 你的薯条因为熵在丢失热量 Terry, get down here. Your fries are losing heat due to entropy.
你可以把那些薯条扔了 Man, you can throw those fries up a butt.
-我不需要 -你衬衣怎么不扎进去 - I don't need 'em. - What's with the untucked shirt?
你觉得你比我们高端吗 You think you're fancier than us?
是啊 所以我才要去参加一场华丽的晚宴 Yeah, man. That's why I'm going to a fabulous dinner party.
-怎么没人问我 -什么 我没被邀请 - Why wasn't I asked? - What? I didn't get invited.
也许是因为你们讨厌人 派对和出门 Uh, maybe because you guys hate people, parties, and going outside,
而且你们都没有带纽扣的衬衣 plus you don't even have button-down shirts.
还是希望有人邀请 Still nice to be asked.
你和我好久没出去玩过了 You and I haven't had a night out in a long time.
上次还是我们去露天剧场的星际传奇2歌唱聚会 Not since we went to that Chronicles of Riddick singalong at the Bowl.
什么鬼 你也要去 What the hell, you're going too?
我要去见一些有钱的老头 I'm going to meet some rich old guys
让他们离开他们老婆 去搞点"黑镜"那种情节 and get them to leave their wives for some hot Black Mirror action.
但我费了好大力才从Hulu烤野猪宴定到的这些 But I slaved away ordering all this from Hulu Luau.
你想要浪费掉一整只烤猪和这些喷火魔杖吗 You wanna waste a whole roasted pig and these fire wands?
抱歉 我和噗噗今晚要表演 Sorry. Me and the Pupa are performing tonight.
我们是音乐组合 We are a musical dyad.
作为团队领袖 我应该参与所有事 As team leader, I should be included in all things,
所以我要求邀请我们所有人去参加这次晚宴 which I why I demand that we all be invited to this dinnering party.
不行 这么晚了我不能再加个伴 更别说两个了 No! I-I can't add a plus one so late in the day, let alone a plus two.
那我就激活地球消灭仪 Then I will activate the Earth Eraser,
让我们都化成尘埃 and we can all get turned into dust.
一切物质都会成为微粒 All matter will be atomized
-5 4 3 -好 老天 - in five, four, three... - Okay. Jesus fucking Christ,
-我把你们加进名单了 -两秒半 - I added you to the RSVP. - two and a half...
-两秒 -你让我不能自由行事 - two-- - You've sufficiently cramped my style.
很好 我们要在一小时后出发 Good. We shall leave in an hour.
我得在我衣服下所有地方 I need to apply darker blue makeup
抹点深蓝色化妆品 to... everywhere under my robe.
我们得扔掉地球消灭仪 Man, we gotta throw out that Earth Eraser.
有种试试 贱人 Try and die, bitch.
我的衬衣看着还行吗 露出来的够多了吗 D-d-does my shirt look okay? Is-is-is it untucked enough?
嗯 淡定 Yeah, man. Relax.
不过记住 在里面别做自己 But remember, don't be yourself in there.
这些人想要你玩得开心 These people want you to have a good time.
闭嘴 我知道 Shut up! I know that.
闻闻我的皮诺 Smell my peen!
他们在布鲁克林的 They grow the grapes in Brooklyn
蒙台梭利幼儿园里面种葡萄 in the middle of a Montessori preschool.
嗯 闻起来像红酒 Uh, yes, smells like, uh, wine.
恭喜你们采购到瓶子 Uh, uh, congratulations on your procurement of-of the bottle.
红酒 谁会叫绿点皮诺"红酒" Wine? Who calls a Greenpoint Pinot "wine"?
他说笑的 Oh, man, ah, he's just kidding.
科尔沃绝不会这么做 Korvo would never do that.
这是来自布鲁克林的 布鲁克林 It's from Brooklyn. Brooklyn!
-布鲁克林 -布鲁克林 - Brooklyn? - Brooklyn!
从没去过布鲁克林 但我曾在 Never been to Brooklyn, but I-I-I once chased
木星的卫星上追逐过一个机械人 a mechanoid around Jupiter's moons.
真奇葩 没人在乎 What a weird thing to say. Nobody cares about that.
我们在说布鲁克林 We're talking about Brooklyn.
是你要求来的 You're the one who demanded to come.
你能好歹努力社交点吗 Could you at least try to be social?
我在努力了 I am trying.
布鲁克林 布鲁克林 Brooklyn! Brooklyn!
你好 我叫米娅 欢迎来到墙国 Hi there. I'm Mia. Welcome to the Wall.
你好 我叫米娅 Hola, me llamo Mia.
欢迎来到墙国 Bienvenidos a la Pared.
-我说英语的 -好极了 - Um, I speak English. - Oh, goody!
我是墙国迎宾者 喝点新鲜的柠檬水吗 I'm the Wall Greeter. Fresh lemonade?
-这里什么情况 -没事的 - What is going on here? - Shh! It's okay.
我知道这看起来难以接受 I know it seems overwhelming,
但你一点都不用害怕 but you have nothing to be afraid of.
一个外星小男孩把你缩小后 An alien boy shrank you down
把你放到了他卧室墙里藏着的玻璃容器内 and put you in a terrarium he keeps hidden in his bedroom wall.
-什么鬼 -我们的世界曾经是个很糟糕的地方 - What the fuck! - Our world used to be a terrible place,
满是暴力与饥饿 full of violence and starvation.
墙内被划分为不同层级 皆由一个残酷的独裁者控制 The Wall was divided into levels, all run by a cruel dictator
公爵 The Duke.
然后蒂姆 一个英勇无畏的战士领导着抵抗军 But then, Tim, a brilliant, fearless warrior led a resistance
奋起反抗公爵的统治 that rose up against The Duke.
那是血腥残酷的一战 They fought a bloody war.
那晚我们失去了许多挚友 We lost many friends that evening.
但也涌现了一大批英雄 But we also gained heroes.
我们需要感谢许多人的牺牲 We have many to thank for their sacrifices,
但没有人的牺牲能重于雪莉 but none more than Cherie,
她在斩杀公爵的过程中献出了生命 who lost her life slaying The Duke.
很快 我们就会举办第一届雪莉日来纪念她 We're going to celebrate her with the first annual Cherie Day soon.
到时会有盛宴与游行 而且每个人都能舔一口 There's a feast and a parade, and everyone gets one lick
我们巨大的方糖块 of our giant sugar cube.
你们在这儿有一整个世界吗 You people have a whole world in here?
没错 你也会有的 Yes. And you will too.
要把这想成是开始新生活的一次机会 Look at this as a chance for a brand-new life.
你一直梦想的工作是什么 What have you always dreamed of doing?
我想我一直都渴望设计服装 Um, I guess I've always wanted to design clothes.
天哪 我从来没有把它大声说出来过 Oh, my god, I've never said that out loud before.
完美 那我来给你下第一份订单吧 Perfect! Let me put in your first order.
我需要为雪莉日准备一条裙子 I need a dress for Cherie Day.
我大概有一个半软糖高 I'm about a jellybean and a half tall.
-唐娜·兰利 -特里 过来 - Donna Langley! - Hey, Terry, come here.
我们在玩内行人才懂的好莱坞管理层名人竞猜游戏 We're playing inside baseball Hollywood executive Celebrity.
太简单了 Too easy.
大卫·内文斯 得了吧 加大难度好吗 David Nevins. Come on. Let's take the bumpers off.【】
-雅姆莱克 轮到你了 -来吧 - Yumyulack, you're up. - And go.
我不知道这他妈是谁 I don't know who the fuck this is.
跳过 下一个 Pass and go to the next one.
好 这个人的名字听起来像个恶魔 Okay, uh, this person's name sounds like a demon.
他们重新在DVD上刻电视剧了吗 Did they reinvent TV on DVD?
你没听说过道格·赫尔佐格吗 You didn't know Doug Herzog?
蝙蝠侠 Batman
听着 我们得到了许多掌声 Look, we got a lot of applause out there,
但那全是无偿的 but it was 100 percent gratuitous.
我不想对我们俩中的薄弱一环指指点点 I don't wanna point fingers at the weak link here,
但你的水平实在是差远了 but you were way off.
争气一点 小噗噗 Get your shit together, Pupes!
我们他妈怎么会知道黛比·莉布林这个人 How the fuck were we supposed to know Debbie Liebling?
不如来玩点我们母星的名人竞猜怎么样 How about we play Celebrities from the home world, huh?
我先来一个 发明了加热粘液的什洛普人 Here's one. This Shlorpian invented heated goo?
-泽尔加 -好极了 我们得一分 - Uh, uh-- Zelgar. - Yes! Point for us.
这场派对两秒钟前开始变得逊爆了 Uh, this party just got real lame about two seconds ago.
没错 我觉得就是从克雷格开始解释 Yeah, I think it was when Craig started to
大卫·西蒙·南瓜的梗那一刻开始的 explain the David S. Pumpkins sketch.
汤姆·汉克斯在周六夜 现场的短剧中人物
科尔沃 你们还是离开这儿比较好 Korvo, man, uh, how about you guys just go on and get out of here.
你们有点毁了这里的气氛 You're, uh, kinda ruining the vibe.
你确定是我们毁了气氛 We're ruining the vibe?
你没听到杰米想要模仿火车的声音吗 Did you not hear Jamie try to do his impression of a train?
听好了 你赶快给他道歉 Look, you apologize to him right now!
你们都滚去地狱里闻黑皮诺葡萄酒吧 You can all go smell peen in hell!
你怎么敢这么说话 How dare you!
好的黑皮诺葡萄可不能在那种温度下生长 A good peen would never survive in that heat anyway.
欢迎来到墙国 Hey, welcome to the Wall.
我是史蒂夫 营养学家 I'm Steve, the nutritionist.
这里是你今日份的农产品 Here's your produce for the day.
新鲜的蓝莓和圣女果 Fresh blueberries and cherry tomatoes.
这些棒极了 Wow, these are gorgeous.
这些是我自己用谷物棒上拔出来的种子种的 Well, I grew them myself from seeds we pulled out of a KIND bar.
慢慢享用 Enjoy.
你好 浩克 这是你的营养品 Heya, Halk. Here are you "nutes."
史蒂夫 这些看起来棒极了 Wow, Steve. These look great.
-你真是个园艺高手 -得了吧 - You've really got a green thumb. - Oh, come on.
跟你这样的战争英雄比起来我可不算什么 I'm nothing compared to a war hero like you.
我不喜欢沉湎于那些日子 Oh, well, I don't like to dwell on those days.
我永远不会忘记你从那些彩虹糖下面 Well, I'll never forget how many people
救出了多少人 you pulled out from under those Nerds.
好多我的朋友要不是因为你 So many of my friends who could have died that day
本会在那天死去 are around because of you.
我给你带了些特别的东西 I brought you something special.
史蒂夫用那些谷物棒里的种子真是种出了些好东西 Aw, Steve is really growing the hell out of those KIND bar seeds.
这 This...
这真是墙国内最好的东西了 This is the best thing in the Wall.
那个草莓是这里最好的东西 That strawberry is the best thing in here?
没错 找不到更好的了 Yep. Nothing better.
你的生活中没有比浆果更好的东西吗 Nothing in your life is better than a berry?
我想不出什么别的 Mm. I can't think of anything.
太遗憾了 因为我本来可是想给你这个 Such a shame, 'cause I was gonna give you this.
浩克 Oh, Halk!
我准备了一整段我想如何与世界上最好的女人 I had this whole speech about how I wanna spend the rest of my tiny life
共度余生的演讲 with the woman with the biggest heart.
我愿意 我愿意 我愿意 Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!
不过我确实挺爱那个草莓的 Although I do love that strawberry.
我讨厌晚宴 I hate dinner parties.
就不能是个大家都觉得我古怪的 Why couldn't that have just been a regular party
常规派对吗 where people think I'm eccentric?
咱们回家把飞船上的DNA熔化器拿来 Let's go home and get that DNA melter from the ship
把他们都熔化成鲜肉布丁 and melt them all into flesh pudding.
不 他们只会再办场晚宴 No, they'll just throw another dinner party
笑话我们用的熔化器不产自布鲁克林 and make fun of us for using a melter that isn't from Brooklyn.
我希望我们能把所有的晚宴都消灭 I wish we could melt all dinner parties
这样就完事儿了 and just be done with it.
司机 带我们去见 Oh, driver, take us to
这个国家最穷最坏的参议员 the poorest, crookedest senator in the country.
如果你能在早上把我们送到那 There's an extra billion dollars in it for you
多给你10亿美元 if you get us there by morning.
明白 小兄弟 You got it, bub.
知道吗 这里曾是我们出租车的天下 You know, we cabbies used to run this city,
-但然后优步... -安静开车给你20亿 but then Uber - Two billion if we go in silence.
你看 优步的问题是他们不在乎自己的司机 See, the thing about Uber is that they don't care about their drivers.
-该死 -他们给司机的钱不够 - Damn it. - And they don't pay 'em enough.
他们得工作5次 They have to work five times...
华盛顿特区
晚宴 工作
法案
晚宴警官
什么 What the--
《真实新闻报》 宣布晚宴非法 鹰嘴豆泥销量暴跌
不 Nooooo!
既然晚宴是违法的 Now that dinner parties are against the law,
我们又是唯一能执法之人 we are the only people that can enforce it.
只有我们再次 要兴奋起来 Right here. Us. So get excited. Get pumped.
我们是精英中的精英 We're the best of the best.
我们要寻找聚会 花哨的摆设 乔迁喜宴 We're looking for get-togethers, white elephants, housewarmings.
如果不是狂欢派对 可能就是犯罪 If it's not a rager, it could be a crime.
看到喝酒水的就拷起来 兄弟们 Drinks and apps? Cuff 'em, boys.
迷你胡萝卜 判3到5年 Infant carrots, that will get you three to five.
再蘸点酱 那就是无期徒刑 Add a dip? You're looking at life.
出发吧 Let's ride.
他们只是在喝酒 似乎合法 They're just having a drink. Seems legit.
看来我们可以离开了 Looks like we can move on.
等下 主人刚从烤箱里拿出一份千层面 Wait! The host just pulled a lasagna from the oven.
冲 冲 冲 Move! Move! Move!
证据
登报纸用 笑一笑 Smile for the papers.
《真实新闻报》 晚宴遭严打 可卡因销量却飙升
《真实新闻报》 谋杀推理派对在宾客发现凶手之前遭搜查
购买数量可疑的羊奶酪后 犯罪分子遭追踪
看看这些网 我要用来捉人 Check out these nets I got to catch people.
这个大到足以抓两个正常体型的罪犯 This one's big enough to nab two regular-sized perps
或五个素食主义者 or five vegans.
你知道我刚在报纸上看到什么吗 Do you know what I just read in this spinning newspaper?
家庭马戏团还在进行 怎么可能呢 Family Circus is still going. How is that possible?
那些孩子都应该死 All of those kids should be dead.
不 你们两个真是混蛋 No. That you two are being dicks!
不 特里 我们在做我们的工作 No, Terry, we're doing our jobs.
我告诉过你不要来参加晚宴 I-I told you not to come to the dinner party.
你非要我带你去 You made me bring you.
现在我们只是在维护法律 And now we're just upholding the law.
很快我们就能滥用武力 And soon we'll get to use excessive force.
不 我们没有 别那样 No, we don't. Stop that.
特里 我建议你远离晚宴 Terry, I recommend you steer clear of dinner parties,
为了你自己好 for your own good.
你吓不到我 You don't intimidate me.
我绝不会考虑停止参加晚宴 I ain't never gonna even think about stop dinner partying.
说话当心 特里 我或许是你的队长 Careful, Terry. I might be your team leader,
但当我戴着这个警徽的时候 but when I'm wearing this badge,
你就是在跟法律说话 you're talking to the law.
好 那我想你还是舔我屁股吧 Okay. Well, then I guess you better suck my butt,
混蛋警官 Officer Asshole!
这贱人到底是谁啊 Who the hell is this slut?
你在背着我表演我们的节目 You're performing our routine behind my back.
派对资讯 外星人和小女孩 在非法派对上的精彩音乐表演
你好 杰茜 Hi, Jesse.
你知道吗 你就用我们无聊的老套路吧 You know what, you can have our boring old routine.
我在靠自己成为明星 I'm going to be a star without you.
再见 杰茜 Bye, Jesse.
小瓢虫 我们在干什么呢 Lady B, what are we doing?
在公园里我们不需要用牵引绳 We don't need a leash in the park.
我给你取了 Oh. Here.
小傻瓜 You silly.
这些是素食肉吗 Is any of this Impossible meat?
不可能
我现在只吃素食肉 I only eat Impossible Foods now.
-不 这些食物全都可能 -真恶心 - No, all this food is extremely possible. - Gross.
我们把这瓶普罗赛克酒 Oh, hey, we're just gonna donate this bottle of prosecco
还有霹雳舞板捐给好市多超市 好吗 and breakdancing board to... to Costco, okay?
就这些 That's all.
我闻到了晚宴的味道 I smell a dinner party.
我们行动 Let's ride.
现在行动 Now!
晚宴警察 放下你的奶酪刀 Dinner Party Police! Drop your cheese knives.
有什么问题吗 警官 Is there a problem, officers?
这里没办晚宴 There's no dinner parties happening here.
这家运动酒吧只卖酒 偶尔买类鸦片 This sports bar is just selling alcohol with the occasional opioid.
抱歉 Uh, sorry.
情报有误 Bad intel.
我们安全了 We're clear.
倒立 轻弹 一圈又一圈 Handstand. Flip. Round and round.
然后这样 侧滑 再这样 And doing it... Slide... And doing it.
在居民宅里开运动酒吧 A whole sports bar in a residential house?
他们不可能拿到许可证的 They can never get a permit for that.
我们被高科技骗了 高科技是我们的专长 We've been duped by sci-fi. And sci-fi is our area.
特里的专长是了解各地区所有的家庭主妇 Terry's area is knowing all the housewives of various regions.
是时候使用过度武力了 Time to use excessive force?
不 我们只能用高科技打败高科技 No. We're just gonna have to fight sci-fi with sci-fi.
那就是使用过度武力 That uses excessive force!
别再这么说了 Stop saying that!
给你个警徽你就觉得自己是正义化身了 Wow! Give a man a badge and it really goes right to his head.
这俩电子先知能在电子邀请函发出前 These E-cogs can sense when an E-vite is going out
就探测到它 before it's even sent.
他们的大脑连着互联网 Their brains are attached to the internet,
我还用了亚马逊的算法用来预测 and I used the same algorithm Amazon uses
你什么时候会购买东西 to know when you're gonna purchase something.
侦测到晚宴 Dinner party detected.
发现得太早了 主人还在纠结 It's in such an early stage that the host is still deciding
用什么可爱的背景图 between cute background images.
跳舞的热狗 Dancing hot dogs?
据我所知 这他妈就是个晚宴 That's dinner party bullshit, if I've ever heard it.
我们能在里面装猎枪子弹吗 Oh, oh, can we put shotgun shells in these?
我说了不行 拿枪只是为了戏剧性效果 I said no! They're just for dramatic effect,
但是刚被你毁了 我们只能再来一次 which you just ruined, so we have to do it again.
可恶 Goddammit!
这些邀请函是用来干嘛的 What the hell are those invitations for?
我哪知道 老兄 问问你的电子先知吧 I don't know, man. Why don't you ask your E-cogs?
还是说他们只能探测到电子邀请函 Or do they only work on E-vites?
我一直对你比较宽容 因为我是你的领导 I've been going easy on you because I'm your mission leader.
别逼我收拾你 Don't make me come down on you.
那你加油咯 警官 Do your worst... Officer.
准许使用过度武力 Permission to use excessive force!
终于 Oh, finally.
那是啥 What the is that?
不好意思 嗓子里有个消音虫 Sorry, Bleep Bug in my throat.
我用高科技有机材料培育了两只纳帕犬 I grew these Napadoodles using techno-organic material.
它们能从数英里外 They can sense cheese plates
就闻到芝士和反人类牌游戏的气味 and Cards Against Humanity from miles away.
而且 他们有超过敏性基因 Plus, they're hypoallergenic.
是你逼我的 You've forced my hand.
释放你的邪恶之作 Release your unholy creations.
你们想出去遛吗 出去遛遛不 You wanna go for a walk, yeah? You want walkies?
乖孩子 乖孩子 Good girls, good girls.
苹果酱芝士杯 Brie cups with apple butter?
是布鲁克林产的食材吗 Are these from Brooklyn?
我们把人变成红酒 We're turning people into wine?
我觉得这有点过头了 I-I-I think we've gone too far.
没错 这就是过度武力 Exactly. It's excessive force.
他们爱红酒 看他们在酒瓶上多开心 These people love wine. Look how happy they are on the labels.
-有新的电子邀请函 -等等 - A new E-vite. - Wait!
不 特里和杰茜回了邮件说可能参加 Oh, no, Terry and Jesse just replied as maybes on this.
电子邀请函 可能参加 可能参加
我们不能把他们变红酒 他们是自己人 W-we can't let them get bottled. They're our crew.
雅姆莱克 我命令你撤回纳帕犬 Yumyulack, I-I-I order you to call off the doodles.
我没法撤回它们 I can't call them off.
一旦纳帕犬闻到派对的味儿 那就结束了 Once a Napadoodle senses party prep, it's over.
我的老天 My gray god!
谢谢你能来 浩克 我们需要你的帮助 Thanks for coming, Halk. We really need your help.
这种事已经很久没发生过了 These kind of things don't happen in here anymore.
大战以后就没有过了 Not since... the war.
史蒂文 Oh, Steve.
我不确定我能帮上忙 I'm not sure I can help.
我不太了解他 他在农牧层工作 I didn't know him that well. He worked on the farming level.
我们需要你的专业知识 We need your expertise.
只有你才有能力 You're the only one qualified enough
协助我们调查谋杀案 to help us with a murder investigation.
拜托 你是战斗英雄 你吃得消这种事 Come on, you're a war hero. You've got the stomach for this.
而且你曾是《识骨寻踪》的执行编审 Plus, you were an Executive Story Editor on Bones.
顺便一问 那是啥 What is that, by the way?
执行编审 就是个编剧的等级 An ESE? It's just a level of writer.
那部剧会用我纯粹是 Look, I only got hired on that show
因为我写了一集《法律与秩序》的脚本 because I wrote a Law and Order spec,
不是因为我真的是个侦探 not because I'm an actual detective.
你在借鉴真实的犯罪报道的时候 I-I'm sure you picked things up
总归学到了点东西吧 when you ripped stories from the headlines.
我们推测 一只蟋蟀进到了墙国 We have a theory. Big ol' cricket got into the Wall
然后杀死了可怜的史蒂文 and killed poor Steve.
你们觉得这是一只蟋蟀干的 You think a cricket did this?
那些混蛋抖抖腿就能创作音乐 Those bastards make music with their legs.
谁知道它们还会干什么 Who knows what else they're capable of.
如果你们觉得是蟋蟀干的 那还要我来干嘛 If you think it's a cricket, why do you need me?
因为蒂姆指名要你 Because Tim asked for you specifically.
你是个战斗英雄 You're a war hero.
你来宣布这样的事 听起来会好一些 The announcement will sound better coming from you.
抱歉了 伙计们 I'm sorry, guys,
我也有自己的生活 but I have a life of my own.
祝你们顺利找到蟋蟀 Good luck finding that cricket.
-喂 -特里 听我说 - Yello! - Terry, listen to me!
雅姆莱克培育出一种把罪犯变红酒的纳帕犬 Yumyulack created huge Napadoodles that turn criminals into wine.
不要去参加那个晚宴 Do not go into that dinner party.
犯法的事我想--都不敢想 Oh, I would never dreeeeeam of breaking the law.
你完全可以录下这段对话 And you can totally record this conversation.
不 特里 这不是钓鱼执法 该死 No, T-Terry, this is not a trick. Oh, damn it!
大伙儿 猜猜看 You guys! Guess what?
我把这房子伪装成一家睿侠电器店的样子 I sci-fi disguised this house to look like a Radio Shack
这样就没人会进来了 so no one will ever go in it.
快跑 Run!
我没关车载电台 I left NPR on in the truck.
它们一定是被吸引过去了 Th-th-they must have been drawn to it.
我口袋里还有迷你胡萝卜 And I have baby carrots in my pocket.
你他妈在干嘛 扔掉它们 What the shit are you doing? Get rid of them.
拖不了它们多久了 That's not gonna hold them long.
快 拿辆用鸟做的滑板车 Quick, grab the scooter made from birds.
人类的电池真太差了 Ugh, human battery power is so weak.
他们怎么还没发现如何利用爱的力量 Why haven't they discovered how to harness the power of love yet?
不是吧 全食食品店 No. Hole Foods?
这里就像个巨型晚宴 This is like a mega dinner party.
我们周围的人全在试吃有机食品 We're surrounded by people eating organic samples
并向彼此推荐着播客 and recommending podcasts to each other.
你听过慢烧电台吗 Ooh, have you heard Slow Burn.
我没听了 等等 住手 I gave up on it. Wait, stop it!
我们必须掩盖晚宴的味道 We have to mask the dinner party scent.
快点 Come on!
蛋糕的味道会迷惑纳帕犬 让它们认为 The smell of cake will confuse the doodles into thinking
我在一个生日聚会上 that I'm at a birthday gathering,
严格来说生日聚会不算晚宴 which is technically not a dinner party.
我在用孤独的单身人士食品掩盖我的味道 And-and I'm disguising my scent with lonely single person food.
说起孤独的单身人士 我之前撒谎了 Speaking of lonely single people, I-I lied earlier.
你觉得《生死时速2:海上惊情》 You think Speed 2: Cruise Control
比《生死时速》好看 is better than Speed.
我取缔晚宴的唯一原因是因为 Only reason I outlawed dinner parties is because
你一直丢下我一个人 you were leaving me alone all the time.
那雅姆莱克呢 他可以陪着你的 What about Yumyulack? He could have kept you company.
他是位缉毒侦探而且咀嚼声音太大 He's a narc, and he chews too loud.
没错 他太差劲了 Oh, yeah, no, he sucks.
事实上 我不讨厌晚宴 The truth is, I don't hate dinner parties.
我讨厌不能和你一起吃晚饭 笨笨 I hate not having dinner with you, dummy.
我们曾经会社交 曾经生活充实 We used to socialize, we used to have a life.
-我们到底怎么了 -出现了星联电视 伙计 - What happened to us? - Streamium TV happened, man.
我们不再外出 因为电影明星来找我们了 We stopped going out because the movie stars came to us.
你说得对 我们那50英寸的公寓 You're right. The siren call of Josh Hartnett
对乔什·哈奈特的魅力无法抗拒 on our 50-inch flatty is impossible to resist.
对不起 科尔沃 I'm sorry, Korvo.
我之前忙于取悦那些晚宴上的人 I was so busy impressing those dinner partiers
几乎没意识到我没抽空和你聚聚 that I barely knew I didn't make time to party with you.
特里 我们一吻泯恩仇吧 Terry, I say we seal our apologies with a kiss.
很好 Nice.
*祝你生日快乐* * Happy birthday to you *
你玩过《苹果派对》游戏吗 Have you ever played Apples to Apples?
杰茜 小噗噗 我以为你们不说话了 Jesse, Pupes, I thought you weren't speaking.
听着 一旦人开始喝醉 Listen, when people start getting smushed into wine
很快就会忘了艺术上的分歧 you forget your artistic differences real quick.
而且他不要脸的新搭档已经被纳帕犬吞了 Plus his new slut partner was devoured by a Napadoodle.
我们快飞去华盛顿 撤销这条法律 Let's hover this board to DC and overturn that law.
我也要去 我就在你们后面 I'm coming, too, right behind you.
该死的 Aw, goddammit!
别放手 Don't let go.
别放手 加油 Don't let go. Come on!
亲爱的 亲爱的 醒醒 你又做那个噩梦了 Baby. Baby, wake up. You're having that dream again, okay.
亲爱的 看着我 看着我 Honey, look at me. Look at me.
你救了很多人 You saved so many.
但不是所有人 But not everyone.
你那时已经尽力了 You did as much as you could.
那我现在尽力了吗 Am I doing as much as I can now?
我知道那些沃德人想拉你入伙 I know those Walldermen want you to get involved,
但那不再是你的生活了 but that's not your life anymore.
你现在是时候待在家里 和我在一起 Now is your time to be at home... with me.
如果你不能安全地 What kind of home is this
在蘑菇公园散步 这算什么家园 if you aren't safe enough to walk in the mushroom park.
我必须帮助他们调查 I gotta help them with this investigation.
但那些噩梦 你确定这是个好主意吗 But the nightmares. Are you sure it's a good idea?
我会安全的 我会确保这里所有人都安全 I'll be safe. And I'll make sure everyone here is safe.
也许就是只蟋蟀呢 And, hey, it's probably just a cricket.
晚宴 红酒谋杀案
《真实新闻报》 晚宴再次合法 低过敏性纳帕犬培养失控
好吧 好吧 蓝色皮肤 Okay, okay! Blue skin,
总在唠叨她的复制品怎样在 always rambling about how her replicants walked
植入芯片仅七分钟后就能行走的 after only seven minutes of being planted.
你在说扎穆隆 Oh, you're talking about Zamulon.
她认为她的复制品都很棒 尽管它们并不是 She thinks her replicants are all that, even though they ain't.
时间到 And time.
没错 我喜欢这个游戏 All right! I love this game.
好吧 我想我已集齐了周围所有人 Okay. Think I got everyone in the neighborhood.
你打算拿这些"人化酒"做什么 What are you doing with that people wine?
你以为我要做什么 What do you think I'm doing with it?
-冻起来做存酒吗 -什么 - Freezing it to make wine cubes? - What?
我要把他们变回人形 I'm returning them back into their human forms.
你怎么改主意了 Why the change of heart.
没有法律就没有罪犯 No law, no criminals.
我只喜欢抓坏人 因为我是个赏金猎人 I only like capturing bad people because I'm a bounty hunter.
赏金猎人得有奖金 Bounty hunters gotta bounty, you know.
我不知道这些"人化酒"还可以还原 I had no idea that this people-wine situation could be reversed.
知道的话 我们早就这样做了 Had I known, we would have done this a lot sooner.
-没错 -早做了 - Oh, yeah. - So much sooner.
知道吗 我们该经常这样做 You know, we should do this more often.
这太有趣了 Oh, this was fun.
把那东西的链接发给我 Send me the link to that thing.
敲敲门 Knock, knock!
你好 喇叭裤 Hello, flare pants.
我会为你订制一条的 米娅 I will make some just for you, Mia.
好的 谢谢 Um, yes, please.
我其实是顺路来看迪克兰的 I'm actually poking my little beak in to check on Declan,
看看他是否喜欢这份新工作 see how he's liking the new gig.
-谁 -迪克兰 新来的家伙 - Who? - Declan! The new guy.
没什么迪克兰 There is no Declan.
这里没来过新人 No one new has reported here.
他一定是迷路了 He must have gotten lost.