飞船已经完全修好了 The ship is totally repaired!
我们终于可以离开这个粪坑星球 We can finally leave this shithole planet
找一个好让噗噗什洛普化的星球了 and find a good one that Pupa can terraform.
然后我们就能用存在低温运输箱中的种子 Then we can grow more Shlorpians
培育出更多的什洛普星人 from the seeds we have stored in the cryopods.
告辞了 地球垃圾们 好好享受融化的冰冠吧 So long, Earth suckers. Enjoy the melting ice caps.
我希望燃烧引擎是值得的 I hope the combustion engine was worth it.
再见 富氧环境 再见 小狗狗 Goodbye, oxygen-rich atmosphere. Goodbye, puppies.
再见 魔力红 Goodbye, Maroon 5!
乐队名
我很高兴我们终于要去 I'm glad we're finally going
一个不存在类似"放屁后要说抱歉" to a planet that doesn't have stupid rules,
这样愚蠢规则的星球了 like saying "Excuse me" After you fart.
你应该在放屁前就要说抱歉 You're supposed to say it before you fart.
这他妈糟透了 This fucking sucks!
如果我是领队的话 If I was team leader,
我们就会在哈利波特世界喝黄油啤酒到烂醉 we'd be getting butter-drunk at Harry P-Land
然后去配备上魔杖 and loading up on wands.
真可惜 你不是领队 所有人 系好安全带 Well, tough titties, you're not. Everyone, strap in.
我准备启动发射了 I'm going to activate the launch.
杰茜 那 那他妈是什么玩意 Jesse! What-- what the hell is that?
是橄榄夹心的MM豆 M&Ms with the olives inside.
-吃上去既油又酸 -把它们给我 - They're oily and sour. - Give me that!
每盎司的重量都很重要 Every ounce of weight matters!
像这么小的玩意就可能会让我们偏离航线 Something this small could set us off course
直接飞向太阳 and straight into the sun.
现在我们重回平衡了 We're back to equilibrium.
现在发射 Launching now.
成功了 等下 It's working! Wait.
我是极客小队的迈克尔 Geek Squad, Michael speaking.
我是外星人科尔沃 我想说 去你妈的 迈克尔 This is Korvo the alien. I'm calling to say fuck you, Michael.
我的联想你已经修了好几个星期了 You've been working on my Lenovo for too many weeks now,
你可以把它塞到你肛门里了 迈克尔 and you can just shove it up your ass, Michael.
法官说你不可以再打来了 The Judge said you're weren't supposed to call here anymore.
去你妈的 去你妈全队 Fuck you and fuck your whole squad,
我上过你妈 and I fucked your mom.
不 No! Hey!
不 不 别 别 别 No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
不对 平衡被打破了 No, the balance was off.
某人口袋里是不小心装了一分钱 Did someone accidentally have a penny in their pocket
还是隐形眼镜或是一根羽毛 or a contact lens or a feather?
我可能在飞船上藏了点东西 I might have hidden some stuff on the ship.
重量超过一克了吗 Did it weigh more than a gram?
什么玩意 这么多包沙袋和保龄球 What the hell? Bags of sand, bowling balls,
还有刚果弹球机和够用一辈子的魔术彩蛋 Congo pinball machine, a lifetime supply of Silly Putty eggs?
你还要带上全季度的光盘版和刻录带版的《美国警察》 You needed to bring the entire series run of Cops on DVD and VHS!
我又不知道旅店会有什么样的播放器 I didn't know what kind of player the hotel would have.
根本就没有旅店 特里 There is no hotel! Terry,
你这个白痴 那 那就是个空星球 you idiot! It's-- it's a empty planet.
这会让我们倒退到一年前 This puts us right back to where we were a year ago.
我的天呐 有什么大不了的 你这个屎球 Oh my God, make a bigger deal about it, ya poopy!
太好了 我们还是被困在了地球上 Yay! We're still trapped on Earth!
抱歉 Excuse me.
什洛普星曾是个完美的乌托邦 Planet Shlorp was a perfect utopia.
直到被小行星撞上 Until the asteroid hit.
一百个成人以及他们的复制人分到了一只噗噗 One hundred adults and their replicants were issued a Pupa
逃往了太空 and escaped into, uh, the space,
在杳无人迹的世界里寻找新家 searching for new homes on uninhabited worlds.
我们坠落在地球上 We crashed on Earth,
困在了一个已经人口过密的星球 stranding us on an already overpopulated planet.
是的 我一直在说这个 That's right, I've been talking this whole time.
抱着噗噗的人是我 我叫科尔沃 I'm the one holding the Pupa. My name's Korvo.
这是我的节目 This is-- this is my show.
我的噗噗掉了 你看到我了吗 I just dropped the Pupa. Do you see me?
这太荒唐了 This is ridiculous.
我讨厌地球 这是个糟糕的家园 I hate Earth. It's a horrible home.
人类笨死了 他们一直都很口渴 People are stupid. They're always thirsty.
但是他们并不会喝他们自己的尿 我不明白 But they don't drink their own piss, I don't get it.
喝你们自己的尿不就行了 Just drink your own piss.
外星也难民 第二季 第一集
真棒 他们把《继承之战》麦片做成各式各样的 Oh yeah, they're making Succession cereal with all the shapes:
罗曼 罗根 还有紫色希夫 Romans, Logans, and Purple Shivs!
均为剧中人物
自动驾驶系统完全坏掉了 The autopilot's completely destroyed.
我们得要重建整个驾驶系统 We're going to have to re-pilot the whole thing.
为什么痛苦检测仪会在冰箱里 What is the distress detector doing in the freezer?
因为它一直不停哔哔响 要把我逼疯了 Oh, it wouldn't stop beeping. It was driving me nuts.
它只有在收到什洛普星人的求救信号时才会哔哔响 It only beeps when it receives a Shlorpian distress call!
这意味着在这个象限的某处 That means there's aliens from the home world
有来自家乡的外星人 somewhere in this quadrant!
这东西哔哔多久了 How long has this been beeping?
一年了 或许 一年半了 A year? Or a year and a half, maybe?
该死 特里 好吧 过来 我们得去帮他们 Damn it, Terry! All right, come on, we have to help them!
他们可能在伽玛象限内 They're probably on an M-class planet
某处的一个M级星球 somewhere in the Gamma sector.
什么情况 他们就在地球上 What the hell, they're on Earth!
看来外星难民们要去一趟伦敦了 Looks like the Solar Opposites are going to London!
真不敢相信我们可以使用浮空平台 I can't believe we get to use the hover platform.
我以为这只能用一次 I thought that was a one-time thing.
外星难民们正在飞往伦敦 The Solar Opposites are hovering to London!
你能别再说了吗 那到底是什么意思 Would you stop saying that. W-what does that even mean?
我觉得我们可以被称为"外星难民" Well, I just think we should be called "The Solar Opposites."
不 那太蠢了 No, that's stupid.
等下 雅姆莱克和噗噗去哪了 Wait, where's Yumyulack and the Pupa?
该死 为什么我们在这事上还是这么垃圾 Damn it! How are we still so bad at this?
看管噗噗是你工作的全部内容了 特里 Watching the Pupa is your whole job, Terry.
别担心 我肯定雅姆莱克会把噗噗保护得很安全 Don't worry, I'm sure Yumyulack's keeping him real safe.
能有什么事呢 What could go wrong?
只要他不让噗噗又去看《机械战警》就好 I guess as long as he doesn't let the Pupa watch Robocop again,
那就 没事的 it'll-- it'll be fine.
你必须得跟我走 不论死活 Dead or alive, you're coming with me!
吸我的奶子去吧 机械战警 Suck my shitty tits, Robocop!
杰登 艾登 布雷登 你们还是像去年一样酷 Jaeden, Aaden, Braden. Still as cool as last year, I see.
没错 但是我们的内部政策有所改变 We are, but our internal politics have shifted.
今年 杰登是我们的头 我被降级了 This year, Jaeden is our leader. I was demoted.
我家大人们都不在城里 You know, my adults are out of town.
如果你们想来我家玩 我们可以喝个烂醉 If you guys want to hang at my place, we could drink too much
也许会影响到我们能活过六十五岁的可能 and maybe hurt our chances of living past 65.
一个女巫说过我二十五岁的时候会死 所以我加入 A witch said I'm gonna die at 25 anyway, so I guess I'm down.
安静 你的头要说话了 Silence. Your alpha speaks.
雅姆莱克 举办一场外宿派对挺酷的 Yumyulack, it'd be cool to throw a sleepover party.
我下令所有的酷小孩都来参加 I decree that all cool kids will attend.
但是我以为你讨厌我 But I thought you hated me?
欺负你是艾登纪元的一项政策 Dunking on you was a policy of the Aaden era.
从那以后 我们都参加了基督教夏令营 Since then, we all went to Christian summer camp
并意识到有包容心很酷 and realized it's cool to be inclusive.
那是克里斯汀·史莱特的排球夏令营 It was Christian Slater's volleyball camp.
这将是今年最酷的派对 This'll be the coolest party of the year!
外星难民们到达伦敦 The Solar Opposites have made it to London!
好了 闭嘴 跟紧我 All right, shut up, follow me.
所以现在他叫我们"外星难民"吗 Oh, so now he's calling us "The Solar Opposites"?
我等不及要见到这些新外星人了 Oh, I cannot wait to meet these new aliens.
你说他们有没有在学习氢阳离子水平 Do you think they've been studying hydron levels
或者平流层微粒 or stratospheric particulates?
两个都好酷 好难选 但愿他们都学了 Wow, both sound so cool, it's hard to pick. Hopefully both?
老天 那简直太棒了 Oh my god, that would be amazing.
奇怪了 That's odd.
不知为什么 他们似乎住在下水道里 Apparently, they live in the sewer for some reason.
我去 看看这艘飞船 真不错 Damn, look at that ship. It's... nice.
有人吗 是否有人遇险 Hello? Is anyone here in distress?
你们在干什么 给我进来 What are you doing? Get in here!
我们在追踪一个求救信号 Uh, we were following a distress call?
你的境遇看起来不太危险啊 Doesn't seem like you're in that much distress.
我是卡布洛尼斯 这艘飞船的队长 I am Kabronius, team leader of this ship.
这是泽尔沃德 我的副队长 This is Zelvod, my co-team leader,
以及我们的复制人 缇沃和德玛斯科隆 and our replicants Tivo and Damasculon.
你们疯了吗 你们的面具呢 Are you crazy? Where are your masks?
我不知道我们需要面具 I didn't know we needed masks.
我已经呼吸了一年多的空气了 I've been breathing air for over a year!
不 No,
面具是用来躲过塔拉人的 the face masks are so you can hide from the Terrans!
地球
我们戴着面具走在塔拉人中 We use these to walk amongst the Terrans
他们就不会把我们抓去解剖了 so they don't capture and dissect us.
在我们住的美国小镇 我们不戴面具 Where we live in America, we don't wear masks.
我们几乎一直都很引人注目 We're noticeable almost all of the time.
是呀 我们的飞船从屋顶探出来 Yeah, our ship sticks out of the top of our house,
有一次 我们把冰冻岩浆弄得全镇都是 and one time we covered the whole town in ice lava.
所以 塔拉人认得我们 So, they know us.
但是 你懂的 我们 B-b-but, you know, we
我们也有很多时间都在躲避... we also spend a lot of time hiding from Terrans
-塔拉人 -我们才没有 - as well. - No, we don't.
你们不怕政府绑架你们吗 Aren't you scared that the government will kidnap you?
怕 一直很怕 我们得非常小心塔拉人 Yes, all the time, we have to be very careful around Terrans.
他们才是"外星人" 我说得没错吧 They're the aliens, a-a-am I right?
我从来没这么想过 他们的确是 I never thought of it like that. They really are.
我们能带他们看看中子阵列吗 Oh, oh, can we show them the neutron array?
-求你了 -好吧 好吧 - Please? - Okay, okay.
很不错 我们的中子阵列真的很不错 It is very nice. We have a very nice neutron array.
谁称其为"塔拉"啊 Who calls it "Terra"?
这些呆子跟科尔沃一路 Yeah, these dorks are real Korvos.
当然了 任何精彩的飞船游览都会以 And of course, the end of any good ship tour,
参观哈瓦索弯月发射器结尾 the havacord meniscus.
这是双边发射的吗 Is this dual sided?
是的 这哥们很内行 It is! This guy knows his stuff.
我多希望能有个弯月双边发射器 Ugh, I wish I had a dual meniscus,
我们的只能从左边发射 ours only emits from the left.
好棒哦 朋友们 Ah, so great. Hey, guys.
你们想去吃咖喱鸡看城堡吗 Do you wanna go eat tikka masala and see some castles?
或者 去戈登·拉姆齐的餐厅 Maybe, uh, Ramsay some Gordons?
我们去见见皮帕吧 没人懂她 Ooh yes! Let's go meet Pippa. Nobody gets her.
不 不 不 我们夜里蹑手蹑脚地 Oh, no, no, no. We survive by creeping out at night
在垃圾堆里翻找食物才生存下来 to find food in dumpsters.
要是被人类发现了 If we get spotted,
我们就用记忆枪消除他们的记忆 we erase people's minds with a memory zapper.
最终 我们或许会渗入政府机关 Eventually, we might infiltrate the government
尝试给一些人类洗脑 and try brainwashing some people.
那你就能在政府机关工作了呢 Wow, then you could go work in the government.
这艘飞船比我们的好太多了 This ship is so much nicer than ours,
更别提我们房子里乱七八糟的玩具和杂志 not to mention our house is cluttered with toys and magazines.
我们的飞船里只容许留什洛普星上的东西 Oh, we only allow Shlorpian items to stay on the ship,
这让我们想起家乡 it reminds us of home.
-听见没 特里 -"听见没 特里" - You hear that, Terry? - "You hear that Terry?"
闭嘴 小婊砸 Shut up, bitch.
我们刚才正要开始每小时的祷告 一起吗 We were about to start our hourly prayers. Care to join?
我们只在复活节做祷告 Eh, we only pray on Easter
或者在我们觉得自己快死了的时候 or when we think we're about to die.
就算到了那时候 我们也不太走心 And even then, we don't really mean it.
我要朗诵前三百篇诗歌 I call dibs on the first three hundred psalms!
不公平 No fair!
知道我们在这个危险的世界 It is so good to know
不是孤军奋战 真是太好了 that we aren't alone in this dangerous world.
以后你们要是需要一个什洛普星的住所 Look, if you ever need a Shlorpian place to stay,
我们的舱口随时敞开 our hatch is open.
我们有无数房间和吃不完的鳗鱼垃圾 We have tons of room and all the eel trash you can eat.
谢谢 请允许我说... Thank you. And may I just say--
我们能走了吗 Ugh, can we please go already?
抱歉 我只是想谢谢你们... Sorry. I just wanted to thank you for being--
科尔沃 我无聊死了 Korvo, I'm bored!
拜拜 玩得开心 Bye! Have fun!
看来外星难民们要去美国了 Looks like the Solar Opposites are going to America!
-下次我们坐飞机 -不 我喜欢浮空平台 - Next time we're flying! - No! I like the platform!
你能相信那些英国外星怪胎每小时都祷告吗 Can you believe those weirdo British aliens pray every hour?
下次我们就无视求救信号吧 Next time, let's just ignore the distress signal.
一群渣渣外星人 "人家要躲过塔拉人" Bunch of Jar Jar dinks. Meesa gonna hide from Terrans!
那些什洛普星人是我们应该有的样子 Those Shlorpians were exactly the way we are supposed to be.
半夜溜出去翻垃圾堆找吃的 Sneaking out at night to dumpster dive for trash food?
"人家要吃垃圾" Meesa gonna eat trash!
他们低级 我们高级 他们低级 They're basic. We're extra, they're basic.
他们才不是 They were not!
我是真的很震惊他们居然没有飞碟 I'm honestly surprised they didn't have a flying saucer.
他们像一群孤废 孤独废柴 They were like a bunch of ALFs: Alone Loser Fucks.
他们尊重我们家乡的优良传统 They honor the proud traditions of the home world
从今以后 我们也当如此 and from now on, so do we.
今晚我们都要围着黑曜石蜡烛冥想 We're all meditating around the obsidian candle tonight
一家人整整齐齐 as a family.
-得了吧 拉倒 -拉倒 - Yeah, right, pass. - Hard pass.
这很重要 这是我们的根 我们的传统 This is important! It's who we are! It's our heritage.
你已经和我们一样接地气了 You've gone just as native as we have.
你跟我们一样喜欢必胜客芝心匹萨 Yeah, you like Pizza Hut stuffed crust as much as we do.
你甚至还买了健身房会员 但从没去过 You even bought a gym membership and you never went.
你就像个假外星人 You're sort of like a fake alien, you know.
你们俩才是假外星人 You two are fake aliens!
你要干什么 Ugh, what are you doing?
我要搬去老伦敦城 I'm moving to ye olde London town
跟懂得欣赏我的外星人一起生活 to live with the aliens that appreciate me!
那家伙速度真快 对吗 That guy really turns on a dime, doesn't he?
他很难管理 He's tough to manage.
我们很高兴你决定加入我们的任务 科尔沃 We're so happy you've decided to be a part of our mission, Korvo.
你看起来像是和我们从同一个扎布射出来的什洛普星人 You seem like a Shlorpian lasered from the same zarb as us.
能加入一个保护我们文化 Oh, it's nice to be around a team that's preserved our culture
以及让我们文化得以被保护的团队合作感觉真好 and keeps our culture preserved, you know.
把这艘飞船当做 Just think of this ship
家乡的慰藉物 as a comforting piece of the home world.
现在我们去绕着格雷钠走 Now let's circle around the grangnar
用绳子鞭打自己 and hit ourselves with ropes.
听上去很棒 That sounds wonderful.
痛并快乐着 Oh, it hurts so good.
你确定... Are you sure-
你的老队友不介意你... Your old teammates are okay with you-
加入我们 Joining us?
我感觉 Something tells me-
他们已经后悔对我态度糟糕了 They're already regretting being dicks to me.
我再也不要脱掉我的波·达默龙睡衣 I'm never taking off my Poe Dameron jammies ever again!
如今科尔沃死了 Hey, oh, what are you going to do now
我是说走了 你要怎么办 that Korvo's dead, I mean gone?
我领养了一只费神费力的老狗 I adopted a high-maintenance elderly dog!
我们会花很多时间给它清理耳朵 We're going to have to spend a lot of time cleaning out her ears,
给它屁股涂乳液 挤压肛门 putting lotion in her butt, squeezing the anals,
这是我梦寐以求的责任 all the responsibility I've been begging for!
你想玩黄金机吗 You wanna play with the gold machine?
科尔沃会讨厌的 我们去玩吧 Korvo would hate that, let's do it!
科尔沃会很生气我在这么多黄金里翻滚的 Korvo would be so mad that I'm rolling in all this gold!
我刚取消了我的家庭套餐计划 I just canceled the family cell plan and
换成了极速移动 switched us over to Boost Mobile!
附赠了Crackle Plus服务 It comes with Crackle Plus!
他们有亚当·桑德勒朋友的所有电影 但是没有他的 They got all of Adam Sandler's friends' movies but none of his.
搞什么 你们不是在伦敦吗 What the hell? I thought you guys were in London.
科尔沃离家出走了 我领养了一只巴塞特猎犬 Korvo left the family, and I got a basset hound.
我不在乎 I don't give a shit!
很多酷小孩 A bunch of cool kids are
这周末要过来过夜 coming over for a sleepover this weekend,
你们能淡定点吗 so can you please just be chill?
也许他们会想来一次黄金大战 Hey, maybe they'll want to have a gold fight!
别给我丢脸 不准散发黄金 Guys, don't embarrass me! No giving out gold!
这太棒了 我们能吃一周的垃圾了 This is amazing! We're gonna be eating trash for a week!
我没看到任何塔拉士兵 I didn't see any Terran soldiers,
我们应该是避开了侦查 I think we avoided detection.
一个想法 也许他们没有在猎捕你们 Uh-uh-uh, just a thought, but maybe they aren't hunting you?
才怪 你这像是喜欢人类才会说的话 Yeah, right, that sounds like human lover talk.
科尔沃 要不在我们开始前 Hey, Korvo, why don't you
给我们背诵下神圣数字 recite the holy number before we dig in?
我的荣幸 Oh, it's an honor!
8 7 5 Eight, seven, five.
0 0然后是 4 Z-zero... uh... it's zero and then... f-four?
不对 3 抱歉 No, three. I'm sorry,
我好久没说过神圣数字了 I-I haven't said the holy number for a while.
你在家不说吗 What, you don't say it at home?
当然要 只是 让我想想 Of course I do, it's just-L-let me think.
8 7 4 Eight, seven, four--
不对 5 7 No, five, seven--
-你听上去像是幼儿 -4 4 4 4 - You sound like a sproutling! - "Fuh-fuh-fuh four?"
这是串不重复的数字 It's a non-repeating number.
你真的被同化了 Oh, you really have gone native.
不 我是这个团队里的特里吗 不 这不可能 Oh no. Am I the "Terry" Of this team? No, that's impossible.
你是在像电视剧主角一样自言自语吗 Are you narrating to yourself like you're the star of a TV show?
天 我真的成了特里了 Oh god, I am the Terry!
杰茜 我们的钱放哪了 Jesse! Where do we keep money?
我们因为买番茄酱有一堆外卖账单 We have a huge Postmates bill from ordering all those ketchup packets.
不能用黄金机吗 Can't we just use the gold machine?
你怎么了 中毒了吗 Whoa, whoa, what's, what's with you, are you poisoned?
那狗好费神 我完全没睡 Ugh, the dog is so high maintenance, I didn't sleep at all.
不 Noooo!
它觉得我是玩具 It thinks I'm a toy.
可我不是 But I'm not.
我只是看着像 I just look like one!
这东西成了黄金了 Aw, man, the whole thing just turned to gold!
我现在要怎么制造黄金 How am I supposed to make gold now?
破玩意 Stupid piece of crap.
我是Postmates的安德鲁 Hey! This is Andrew from Postmates!
外卖公司
你欠我五万块 You owe me fifty thousand dollars!
他们什么时候开始对收费这么严的 When did they get so intense about billing?
现在很难搞副业 Turns out it's actually pretty hard to get your side hustle on.
没有科尔沃 Ugh, without Korvo here to
帮我们修黄金机或者抗争我们的债主 fix our gold machine or fight our creditors,
我可能必须得找个工作 I guess I gotta find a job.
顾客进来 挑选他们的饼干 The customer comes in, they pick their cookie,
挑选奶油酱 你称重 然后收钱 they pick their ookie, you weigh it, then you charge 'em.
我什么时候能拿到钱 Yeah, when do I get paid?
月底 但是在关门前你可以吃免费的奶油酱 End of the month, but, but you get free ookie after closing
因为如果不用的话就会变硬 'cause it gets crusty if we don't use it.
别拿饼干 你们得付钱 Hey, stop limping the biscuits! You have to pay for that!
卡布洛尼斯 我能跟你谈谈吗 K-Kabronius, c-can I talk to you for a second?
当然 科尔沃 怎么了 Well, of course, Korvo, what's up?
我想要这个团队承认我是一个专注的什洛普星人 I-I-I want this team to accept me as a dedicated Shlorpian.
有什么我可以干的活吗 需要飞船维修工吗 Is there any role I can fill? D-d-do you need a ship repair guy?
我们需要一个噗噗专家 What we need is a Pupa specialist.
你的噗噗呢 我可以试试 我能做到 Oh. Where's your Pupa? I-I-I could try that. I-I could do that.
我们没有 We don't have one.
它怎么了 W-what happened to it?
我们从一开始就没有 We never had one to begin with.
我们在它们被完全设计出来前就走了 We left before they were fully designed.
富人干什么都不用等 Rich people don't wait for anything.
你们逃离家园的时候没有被分配噗噗吗 You weren't assigned a Pupa when you escaped the home world?
是的 我们跟你们程序不太一样 No, it went a little differently for us.
什洛普星曾是个完美的乌托邦 Planet Shlorp was a perfect utopia.
一些什洛普星人是劳力 生来干活被奴役 Some Shlorpians were workers, bred for duty and servitude.
什么 是吗 What? We were?
另一些则是隐秘的统治阶级 Others were an unseen ruling class
全是有钱悠闲的瘾君子 of wealthy leisure addicts.
我们这些有钱富外星人们早在小行星撞击一个月前 Us rich aliens were given a heads-up about the asteroid
就知道了这个消息 about a month before it hit.
我们先买好了昂贵的飞船 提前很早就跑了 We bought expensive ships and left way, way, way in advance.
我们降落到了一个已经人口稠密的星球 We landed on an already populated planet
等着噗噗组来改造星球 and have been waiting for one of the Pupa crews to terraform it
以便我们能重新过上富人的生活 so we can get back to being rich.
我从来没听说过富有又不用工作的什洛普星人 I've never heard of rich, non-working Shlorpians.
所以效果才那么好 That's why it worked so great.
既然你们没有噗噗 要噗噗专家干什么 If you don't have a Pupa, then why do you need a specialist?
我们需要一只噗噗 We need a Pupa.
特里被地球同化了 他不会是个好的监护者 Terry's clearly gone native, he can't be a good guardian.
噗噗能跟真正的什洛普星人一起改造新的星球 I mean, wouldn't the Pupa be happier with true Shlorpians,
它也会更开心的 terraforming a fresh planet?
听起来确实是这样 It does sound better.
我们希望你去救出你们的噗噗 We want you to rescue your Pupa,
把它带回来 这样我们就能迎接新生活了 bring it to us, so we can have a new life.
新的什洛普生活 A new Shlorpian life.
我同意 首先我们要给飞船做个噗噗防护 I-I'll do it. First, we must Pupa-proof the ship.
它喜欢用自己的肿块捅插座 He likes to stick his nub in sockets.
所有蓝色的东西它都吃 He will eat anything that's blue.
我讨厌在奶油酱饼干店上班 Man, I hate working at Ookie Cookie.
在那上班实在是有失身分 It is way more demeaning than the name implies.
这件波·达默龙睡衣都快臭了 And these Poe Dameron jammies are starting to stink.
我觉得这只巴塞特猎犬讨厌我 I think the basset hound hates me.
它逼着我戴这个项圈 It makes me wear this collar
还总是把我埋到后院里 and keeps burying me in the backyard.
我知道了 That's it!
如果我们穿着和行为都模仿科尔沃的话 Okay, look. If we dress and act like Korvo,
也许我们就能照顾好自己了 maybe we'll be better at taking care of ourselves.
就是说我们要修理飞船然后抱怨个不停吗 So we have to repair the ship and complain a lot?
你刚才为什么说 "我知道了" Why did you say "That's it"?
我想到什么的时候都会说这句话 Oh, it's just always what I say when I think of something.
来干活吧 Let's get to work.
科尔沃这时候会说什么 Okay, what would Korvo say?
特里 别傻不拉几地嘬麦片了 "Terry! Stop sucking on cereal and having fun!"
不可能 你又不是我爹 照我说的去做 'No way, you're not my dad." "Do what I fuckin' say!"
-我回自己房间去了 -我讨厌这么做 - "I'll be in my room!" - I hate this.
没错 这句很像科尔沃会说的话 There you go, now you're sounding like Korvo.
我的酷朋友们都迟到三个小时了 All my cool friends are three hours late.
我好像给错他们地址了 I think I gave them the wrong address!
我要带上探酷器去找到他们 I'm taking the Yeet Detector and going out to find them.
特里本来就不喜欢照顾噗噗 Terry hates dealing with the Pupa anyway.
他也会很高兴的 He's going to be so happy.
特里 电话拨通中
特里 为什么我得用极速视频跟你联络 Terry? W-why did I have to BoostTime you?
你是转成了极速移动吗 Did you sign up with Boost Mobile?
是 这是你离开之后我们犯的众多错误之一 Yes, it's just one of many mistakes we've made since you left!
科尔沃 我们搞砸了 我们需要你 也很想你 Korvo, we messed up. We really need you and miss you,
我担心我就要被一条狗吃掉了 and I'm afraid I'm going to get eaten by a dog.
哪来的狗 我说过家里不让养狗的 What dog? I-I told you no dogs in the house
除非我摸索出怎么让它彻底服从我 until I figure out how to make them see me as the alpha!
你们都穿着礼服吗 Are you guys wearing ceremonial garb?
求求你回来吧 你之前说的都是对的 Please come home. You were right. You were right!
我们会好好表现的 科尔沃 我们想你 We'll be better, Korvo! We miss you!
你们真的想我吗 You really miss me?
如果我真的回去了 你们不会 And if I came home, you wouldn't shame me
因为我不知道神圣的不重复数字而取笑我 for not knowing the sacred non-repeating number?
不会 你说的那是什么东西 No. What the fuck are you talking about?
不会笑话你 我们需要你 No, we need your help.
没有你我们就是垃圾 We're pieces of shit without you!
你们能承认错误 恳求我帮助 Wow. Admitting you're wrong, begging me to help,
说自己是垃圾 calling yourselves pieces of shit,
这就是我一直以来想要的 this is what I've always wanted!
我马上回去 保持悲催的状态 I'll be home soon, stay miserable!
杰登 你们搞错派对的地方了 Jaeden! You guys are accidentally partying at the wrong house!
天 他找到我们了 Aw, man. He found us.
没人想跟一个蓝外星人搞过夜派对 Nobody wants to go to a sleepover with an ugly blue alien
闻起来就像屌 that smells like a penis.
我骗你去你家派对 I told you to have that sleepover
只是为了让你不来参加我们的派对而已 so you wouldn't find out about our party.
但是 你说过我也很酷的 But... you said I was cool.
并不是 你烂爆了 Oh, you're not, you suck.
我还要在你伤口上撒盐 And to add some injury to insult,
去你妈的 你个小蓝贱货 fuck you, you little blue bitch!
科尔沃 准备好把噗噗搞过来了吗 Korvo! Ready to scoop up the Pupa?
我改主意了 不能把噗噗给你们 I've changed my mind, you can't have the Pupa.
但是 特里不是个脑残吗 But, uh, isn't Terry an idiot?
没错 但他是我的组员 我会对他们负责 Yes, but he's a part of my team. And it's my job to lead them.
那我们的计划怎么办 What about the plan?
你们什么时候才能改造地球 When will you terraform so
好让我们接着过回不为人知的富有生活 we can get back to living our secret rich lives?
你们只能保持现状 You'll just have to keep doing what you're doing
等着噗噗自己像我们一样进化了 and wait for the Pupa to evolve just like us.
卡布洛尼斯 你干什么 K-Kabronius! What the hell!
放我出去 Let me out of here!
不 你的噗噗归我们了 No! That Pupa belongs to us!
-你够重的啊 -去你妈的 - Ow, you're heavy. - Fuck you.
不准动我的噗噗 你们这帮富有的傻叉 Don't you touch my Pupa, you rich fucks!
放我出去 Let me out of here!
噗噗跟真正的什洛普星人在一队才会更幸福 The Pupa will be happier in a team of real Shlorpians.
去你的 泽尔沃德 你就是垃圾 你听到了吗 Fuck you, Zelvod! You're a piece of shit! You hear me?
你们都去死吧 你们这群孤废 Fuck all of you! You're a bunch of hacky ALFs!
靠 等等 神圣数字 Damn it! Wait, the sacred number.
8 5 9 4 2 Eight, five, nine, four, two--
检测到噗噗 坐标锁定 Pupa detected, coordinates locked.
5 2 靠 6 Five, two, damn it, six!
我原来一直都知道这数字 Ha! I knew that stupid number the whole time!
现在谁是傻子啊 Who's an idiot now?
操 857942 Fuck! Eight, five, seven, nine, four, two--
外星人从下水道里爬出来 Alien climbing up out of the sewer, huh?
真是活久见 What a time to be alive!
-欢迎来到英国 -怎么去摩天轮 - Welcome to the UK. - Which way to the Ferris wheel?
步行的话会很久 亲爱的 我开车送你去 Take you forever on foot, love. Come on, I'll give you a ride.
我以为他会把它当大轮子一样开出去 I thought he was going to roll it like a big wheel,
看来缺乏创意 所以我才做了警察 but I guess that lack of creativity is why I'm just a cop.
把你们的噗噗给我们 Give us your Pupa!
为什么 Okay, why?
谈判不会有任何进展 致命武力 Talking is getting us nowhere. Lethal force!
去你妈的 你休想得到我们的噗噗 Fuck you, you're never gonna get our Pupa.
启动自动防御 Activate auto defenses!
听我命令 释放科幻地狱 On my count, unleash sci-fi hell!
3 2 1 Three, two, one--
西德尼—— 再给我们一百万 这样我们就能 超预算制作一个 超厉害的动作片 ——麦克·M 请叫Hulu
制片人 Sydney Ryan
天啊 我去 这是我参加过的最疯狂的战争 Jesus, shit. That was the craziest battle I've ever been in.
一次性就拍成了 And all in one unbroken take?
那一定花了一百万 That must have cost a million dollars!
把噗噗给我们 我们就停止射击 Give us the Pupa and we'll stop shooting at you.
咱们炸了他然后夺走噗噗 Let's just blast him and take the Pupa.
住手 噗噗可以给你们 Stop, stop! You can have the Pupa,
但我们得告诉你们要怎么照顾它 but we need to tell you how to take care of it.
它要是死了 你们就无法变得有钱懒惰了 If it dies, you won't get to be rich and lazy.
行 你有30秒时间 All right, fine! You have 30 seconds!
科尔沃 噗噗就像是我们的孩子 Korvo! The Pupa's like our baby.
你不能送走它 You can't give him away.
闭嘴 我是团队领袖 Shut up. I'm team leader.
这些人从没见过噗噗 And these guys have never seen a Pupa before.
所以呢 So?
以防万一这招不成功 In case this doesn't work,
拿着这把枪 躲到被子下面去 go hide under the covers with this gun.
这是噗噗 这是全部的噗噗 Here's the Pupa. Tha-tha-that's the whole Pupa, right there.
等等 Wait.
它比我想象中还可爱 It's even cuter than I imagined!
很荣幸认识你 高贵的噗噗 It's an honor to meet you, oh noble Pupa.
噗噗每天需要遛四次 The Pupa needs to be walked four times a day.
别忘了 不然它会在你不想它尿尿的地方尿 Don't forget, or she'll pee where you don't want her to.
确保用湿巾给它擦屁股 Make sure to wipe its tushy with a wet wipe.
你得给它煮新鲜鸡肉和大米 You have to boil fresh chicken and rice for her.
-慢点 -新鲜的 不然它会得荨麻疹 - Uh-huh, slow down. - Fresh, or she gets hives.
还有 很抱歉 但它的耳朵问题有点多 Also, I'm so sorry, but her ears are a mess!
慢点 慢点 Slow down. Slow down.
连噗噗的基本照料知识都不知道 Wow, way to not know the basics of Pupa care.
我们要怎么让它进化和地球化 So how do we make it evolve and terraform?
如果没有地球化 If it's not terraforming,
就说明你没有让它足够快乐 that just means you aren't making it happy enough.
我们会致力于满足这个生物 We will dedicate our entire lives to pleasing this creature.
好的 祝你们好运 它每次吠的时候 Okay, good luck! Oh, and every time it barks,
你得打自己的脸 you have to punch yourself in the face.
他说得没错 He's right, that's true.
有东西从它的臭洞里掉出来了 Oh. Something just fell out of its stinking hole.
那肯定就意味着它准备好开始地球化了 That must mean it's ready to start terraforming!
-你怎么了 -酷孩子们把我扔进了一棵树 - What happened to you? - The cool kids threw me in a tree,
所以我要用我的卫星杀了他们 so I'm going to kill them with my satellite.
你不是用那玩意 I thought you used that thing
找在屋顶上晒日光浴的女士吗 to look for ladies sun-tanning on their roofs.
现在我要用它来熔化霸凌 Yeah, well, now I'm going to use it to melt bullies.
你是谁 Uh, who are you?
我是达里尔 我是来参加过夜派对的 I'm Daryl. Here for the sleepover.
-是吗 -你们还在举行吗 - Wha-- You are? - Yeah, y'all still doing that?
-没别的人来 -很好 我反正都讨厌人 - Nobody else showed up. - Oh good, I hate people anyway.
我也是 So do I!
你想看看我缩小过的成年人吗 Hey, you wanna see the wall full of adults I've shrunk?
好啊 Sure.
就像是个蚂蚁农场 Oh, so it's like an ant farm, huh?
我知道 这很幼稚 Yeah, I know, it's dumb.
不不 我喜欢 No, no, no, I like it.
你想玩手机游戏 然后说人坏话吗 Hey, you wanna play games on our phones and talk shit about people?
好啊 巴不得呢 Yes, a billion times, yes.
今天真够疯狂的 That was a crazy day.
知道吗 Hey, you know what.
我很高兴一切都回归正常了 I-I'm just glad everything is back to normal.
我们都学到了一课 We all learned a lesson.
感觉很好 内心感觉很好 Feels good. Feels good in here
下面感觉也很好 and feels good down here.
我今天学到的 The lesson I learned today
就是要开始更加严格 is to start doubling down on being strict
比以往更投入我们的任务 and being even more dedicated to the mission than ever before.
科尔沃 不 Korvo, no!
要 这样我就不会再觉得 Yes! That way I'll never feel like some other alien
别的外星人比我更传统了 is more orthodox than me ever again!
那我要更加肤浅和垃圾 Well, then I'm going to double down on being shallow and trashy
以此抵消你 just to cancel you out.
不 别这么做 No, don't do that!
我随心所欲 孩子 我是小特里 I do what I want, son! I'm li'l Terry.
我是团队领袖 这是命令 I'm team leader, that's an order!
我不在乎 我不在乎 I don't care. I don't care. I don't care.
-操你妈 特里 -我听不见 - Fuck you, Terry! - I can't hear you.
天 那是噗噗的枪吗 Oh Jesus, was that the Pupa's gun?
不不不不不 No... no, no, no, no, no, no!
我去 Holy shit.
噗噗杀了一个机械战警 The Pupa killed a Robocop!
我真为你骄傲 Oh, I am so proud of you!