特里 能把反雾化器给我吗 菲利普的那个 Terry, will you hand me the deatomizer? The Phillips one.
增压歧管未对准 The booster manifold is misaligned.
我做了这个测试 Man, hey, I took this quiz
想知道哪种摩托艇符合我的性格 to find out what Jet-Skis fit my personality
发现所有都符合 看看这个 and turns out, all of them do. Look at this.
-特里 救命 -抱歉 - Ah, Terry, help! - Oh, I'm sorry.
-我漂亮的身躯 -天 - Oh, my beautiful body. - Oh, God.
把我放进那东西里 特里 把我放进那个医疗器械里 Put me in the thing, Terry. Put me in the medical thing.
我不知道你在说什么 I don't-I don't know what you're talking about.
有红光的那个 The thing with the red light.
什么东西 什么东西 What thing, which thing, what thing?
-哪个 给我指一下 -就在那 - Which thing? Point to the thing. - Right there.
天 我要挂了 我唯一的遗憾 Oh, God, I'm slipping away. My one regret.
我没有阅读足够多的手册 让大家 I didn't read enough manuals. Tell everyone you know
花时间去看更多的手册 不然他们会后悔... to take the time to read more manuals or they'll regret--
看上去没那么糟 真的 That didn't seem too bad, honestly.
你好烦 我在这上面做危险工作 You are so annoying. I'm up there doing dangerous work.
你得小心 You have to be careful.
我已经说了看上去不太糟 I already said that it didn't seem too bad.
你还需要什么 What else do you need, man?
我们应该齐心协力生存下去的 We're supposed to be working together to survive,
-而你 你让情况变得更糟 -听着 呼吸 - and you, you just, you make it worse. - All right, look, breathe.
唯一重要的事就是我们今天搞到一艘摩托艇 The only thing that matters is today we're gettin' a Jet-Ski.
下午之前 我们就能飞行冲浪 By this afternoon, we're gonna be jumpin' the wake,
照亮立方体 腾空逾越 gleamin' the cube, dockin' the dog.
一只手拿着博洛尼亚三明治 Bologna sandwich in one hand,
另一只手拿着激浪 and a, and a Mountain Dew in the other.
我一直很期待照亮立方体的部分 Oh, I have been looking forward to the gleaming the cube part.
我照亮过很多东西 但从没照亮过立方体 I've gleamed many items before, but never a cube.
以后在太阳底下就会好玩多了 It's gonna be fun in the sun from now on.
你正需要摩托艇来放松 A Jet-Ski is exactly what you need to relax.
你说的是 我不能再这么紧张 You're right. I-I need to stop stressing out so much.
我冒出的疙瘩小人比卡姆迪前夜游行上的佐泰克斯还多 I'm gooblering more than Zortex at the Camoodian Eve parade.
鬼知道什么意思 Poof, whatever that means.
你的牛仔裤怎么在冰箱里 Why are your jeans in the freezer?
珍·加纳有个Instagram账号 Jen Garner had an Insta
内容全是像冷冻寿司一样清洁牛仔裤 all about cleaning your jeans like freezing sushi.
用蓝色冰块 我要怎么享用我给自己定的 How am I supposed to enjoy the one Diet Dr. Pepper
每天一瓶的健怡胡椒博士 I allow myself a day with blue fucking ice cubes?
小家伙 Um, hey, little fella.
滚吧 Get fucked!
-那是什么 -一只红色疙瘩小人 - What the hell was that? - A red goobler.
红色的会干什么 What, what do the red ones do?
不知道 I don't know.
什洛普星曾是个完美的乌托邦 Planet Shlorp was a perfect utopia.
直到被小行星撞上 Until the asteroid hit.
一百个成人以及他们的复制人分到了一只噗噗 One hundred adults and their replicants were issued a Pupa
逃往了太空 and escaped into, uh, the space,
在杳无人迹的世界里寻找新家 searching for new homes on uninhabited worlds.
我们坠落在地球上 We crashed on Earth,
困在了一个已经人口过密的星球 stranding us on an already overpopulated planet.
是的 我一直在说这个 That's right, I've been talking this whole time.
抱着噗噗的人是我 我叫科尔沃 I'm the one holding the Pupa. My name's Korvo.
这是我的节目 我的噗噗掉了 This is-this is my show. I just dropped the Pupa.
你看到我了吗 这太荒唐了 Do you see me? This, this is ridiculous.
我讨厌地球 这是个糟糕的家园 I hate Earth. It's a horrible home.
人们都笨死了 人人都自称喜欢老人 People are stupid. Everyone claims to like old people
但他们从不上他们 but they're not fucking them.
我经常和老人做爱 他们可爱我了 I fuck old people all the time. They love me.
外星也难民 第一季 第四集
午餐的时候 你想看看 Hey, at lunch, do you wanna see what happens
如果我们一次喝完所有苏打水会怎样吗 if we drink all the sodas at once?
我想这么做的兴趣为"零度" There's a Coke Zero chance I wanna do that.
我得专注于巴结酷小孩们 I have to focus on getting in with the cool kids.
他们的午餐桌上目前有个空位 There's an opening at their lunch table now.
-瑞奇·斯莫林靠铁肺维生 -瑞奇特别酷 - Ricky Smalling's in an iron lung. - Ricky was super cool.
他在和斯塔茜里的两个人交往 He was dating two of the Stacis.
每个斯塔茜都价值十个瑞贝卡 Each Staci is worth like ten Rebeccas.
你觉得你能填补那个权力真空 You think you can fill that power vacuum?
我的计划是溜进那个座位 什么都不做 My plan is to just slip into the seat, do nothing,
到最后 就会显得我的存在很正常 then eventually, it'll seem normal that I'm there.
Hulu就是这样立足的 It worked for Hulu.
但愿他们会邀请我参加库珀·巴恩的派对 Hopefully, they'll invite me to Cooper Barn's party
我将学到很多关于人性的东西 and I'll learn so much about humanity.
因为那是我这么做的唯一原因 Because that's the only reason I'm doing it.
你懂的 为了科学 You know, for science.
你别多嘴 别毁了我的好事 Keep your mouth shut. Don't ruin this for me.
如果你要巴结他们 Well, if you're getting in with them,
那我就要巴结斯塔茜 I'm getting in with the Stacis.
因为我怕她们 'Cause I'm afraid of them.
好了 我要解述了 Okay, so I'm paraphrasing here.
你知道我最爱你解述了 You know I love when you motherfucking paraphrase.
来吧 宝贝 Give it to me, baby.
大多数疙瘩小人是被动非言语的压力生物 Most gooblers are passive non-verbal stress creatures
唱歌跳舞漫步 who dance and sing and wander off
去看世界什么的 to go see the world or whatever they do.
红色疙瘩小人出现的几率为十万分之一 The red gooblers only appear every 100,000th goobler.
我就知道你冒出的疙瘩小人太多了 I knew you gooblered too much.
你为什么压力这么大 Why are you always so stressed?
为什么 为什么 快告诉我 Why, why, why? Come on, tell me, man.
-为什么 告诉我 -红色疙瘩小人很致命 - Why? Tell me. - Red gooblers are lethal.
他们活着只有一个目标 就是杀死宿主 Their sole goal in life is to kill the host
通过直接施行暴力或是给宿主施加压力 either by direct violence or by stressing them out so much
导致他们身体出现胎儿性休克 that their body goes into something called fetal shock.
也就是你大脑变成一个婴儿 然后你就死了 It's where your brain turns into a baby and then you die.
-那祝你好运了 婴儿大脑 -这都怪你 - Well, good luck with that, baby brain. - This is your fault.
至少半数疙瘩小人 At least half of these gooblers were
都是因为你干的蠢事而冒出来的 because of stupid shit you've done.
好了 听着 别再造出另一个红色疙瘩小人了 Okay, okay, look. Don't make another red goobler.
反正他八成已经忘记你了 疙瘩小人都很蠢 He probably already forgot about you anyway. Gooblers are dumb.
"我会鲨了你" "I'm going to mill you"?
天啊 我想他是指"杀" Oh, my God. I think he means kill.
詹姆斯·厄尔·琼斯高中 拯救日期: 时间胶囊 2155年3月3日盛大开幕
好了 其中一些同学 All right, some of you
也许注意到自己的身体正发生变化 may have noticed you're going through changes.
比如说保罗 没关系的 保罗 Like Paul over here. It's okay, Paul.
我们所有人都会经历青春期 Puberty is something that happens to all of us.
这很正常 如果你们像我 很早就会步入青春期 It's completely natural and if you're like me, comes very early.
我不羞于承认 I mean, I'm not ashamed to admit
我六岁就来月经了 I got my period at six years old.
糟了 Oh, no.
青春期 Puberty!
斯塔茜·K 斯塔茜·F Staci K. Staci F.
斯塔茜·G出去了 Staci G. Is out.
她去树林里找瘦长人了 She went into the woods to look for Slenderman.
她一见瘦长人就发骚 Ugh, she's such a slut for Slenderman.
你在我们的洗手间干什么 怪人 What the fuck are you doing in our bathroom, weirdo?
首先 我要给你取个恶毒的外号 First, I'm gonna make up a mean nickname for you.
然后 她会逼你吃下一根棉条 And then, she's gonna force you to eat a tampon.
我已经慢火炖煮了一整天了 I've been slow cooking it all day.
在老娘的逼里 In my vagina.
你好美艳不可方物啊 Wow, you are, like, so beautiful.
一定常有人问你这问题 但我能摸摸你的脸吗 I'm sure you get asked this all the time, but can I touch your face?
我并不常遇到这种问题 不过可以 Uh, I do not get asked that all the time, and yeah.
你随便摸吧 斯塔茜·K Touch away, Staci K.
-艾登 布雷登 杰登 马克 -那是瑞奇的位子 - Aiden, Braden, Jaeden, Mark. - Dude, that's Ricky's seat.
曾经是瑞奇的位子 Was Ricky's seat.
我和爸妈在红花餐厅吃饭时 我的电子烟没电了 So I'm at Benihana with my parents, and my Juul dies.
我本来心想糟了 但紧接着发现 And I'm like, oh, shit. But then I realize,
我可以直接吸洋葱蒸汽 I can just vape the onion steam.
你们好啊 耳机不错 Hey, you guys. Cool headphones.
你们在听什么 性爱吗 What are you listening to? The sex?
我有话要跟你说 I need to tell you something.
这张桌格调被拉低了 Ugh, this table's weak now.
我们去给耳机充电和撸管吧 Let's go recharge our headphones and jerk off.
好的 兄弟们 保持水准哦 我爱你们 All right, fellas, keep it tight. I love you.
我是说 行吧 都被你搞砸了 I mean, okay. You just blew that for me!
我本来都融入他们了 这是我的酷小孩桌 I was totally in. This is my cool kid table.
你得自己找酷小孩一起玩啊 You gotta find your own cool kids to hang with.
-比如那些人 -那些是酷小孩吗 - Like, those guys. - Those are cool kids?
是啊 我听说Lady Gaga Yeah. I heard Lady Gaga
戴了同款伊丽莎白圈出席拉丁格莱美奖 wore that same cone to the Latin Grammys.
超有型的 祝你好运 So awesome. Good luck.
硬汉牌
准备好了吗 Okay, you ready?
我们和摩托艇卖家约好了一小时后见面 We gotta meet the guy selling us the Jet-Ski in an hour.
他叫特伦特 多有特伦特的风格啊 His name is Trent. I mean, how Trent is that?
特里 我快给房子建好防御工事了 Yes, Terry, I'm almost finished fortifying the house
以防那个红色小混蛋回来 in case that little red butthole comes back.
对哦 那我最好 Oh, right, yeah,
去封住我那些密门 I should probably seal up all my hidden doors then.
-什么密门 -只有两三扇 别担心 - What hidden doors? - I only have a couple, don't worry.
特里 那家椒盐脆饼店就是个钱坑 Terry, that Wetzel's is a money pit.
根本没有人流 It doesn't have any foot traffic.
生意要做够一年才开始盈利 知道吗 It takes a year for a business to be profitable, okay?
可是免费椒盐脆饼日马上就到了 But free pretzel day is right around the corner.
-小心我的鼻子 新做的 -操你的 克雷格 - Hey, watch the nose. It's new. - Fuck you, Craig.
听我说 你肯定不会相信的 Listen to me. You're not gonna believe this.
我刚在洗手间和两个女孩相处甚欢 I just had such a good experience with two girls in the bathroom,
-都是因为这个 -谁在乎啊 - and it's all because of this. - Nobody cares.
那是什么鬼 What the hell is that?
这就是我一直想告诉你的 That's what I've been trying to tell you.
这是我的特别小花花 It's my special flower.
-抱歉我揍了你的蛋蛋 -不 - I'm sorry I hit you in the nads, man. - No.
我才抱歉 我说你妈是肥婆 I'm sorry I called your mom fat.
我知道她只是被一群蜜蜂蛰了 I know she just got stung by a bunch of bees.
-都是因为你 -没错 都怪她 - You did this. - Yep, totally her fault.
我们要不要霸凌她 Should we bully her
逼得她决定到艺术领域发展 until she decides to pursue a career in the arts?
不 她很好 No, man, she's cool.
杰茜 你今晚来参加大派对吧 Jesse, you should come to the big party tonight.
-到时见 -没问题哟 - See you there? - Ha, you betcha.
我真不想卖掉我的心肝宝贝 I really hate that I have to sell this baby.
法院竟然逼我在她和我的孩子们中作出选择 I can't believe the court made me choose between her and my kids.
这摩托艇能做出酷炫空翻 对吧 Now this can do sick flips, right?
一定要够酷够炫哦 I mean, they have to be really sick.
酷炫到爆表 我们共度过美好时光 Oh, yeah, they're sick, dude. We had some great times together.
我只希望她能找到一户好人家 Ah, I just want to make sure she goes to a good home, you know?
红色疙瘩小人有枪 Red goobler got a gun!
只是车的回火声 有人在追杀你吗 That was a car backfiring, dude. Is someone huntin' you?
这种家庭环境我不确定 I'm not sure that's the right home environment
是否适合这样优雅的交通工具 for a refined vehicle like this.
不不不 不用担心 你看 No, no, no, don't worry, look.
我们只想要一笔不错的交易 特伦特 The only thing we're hunting for is a great deal, Trent.
我了解了 I hear that.
你们想坐上这宝贝试试吗 Hey, you guys want to sit on this honey?
-好好好 -当然 - Yes, yes, yes, yes. - Obviously.
-我先 -不 让我先 特里 - Me first. - No, I'm going first, Terry.
给爷爬 The fuck out of my way!
-你为什么非要把一切都搞砸 -这朵花力挽狂澜 - Why do you have to ruin everything? - The flower saved the day.
该死 我要告诉科尔沃和特里 Damn it, I'm gonna tell Korvo and Terry.
他们会把那朵花拔了 They're gonna chop it right off your head
然后没人会再喜欢你了 and no one will like you anymore.
不 拜托不要告诉他们 No, don't, please don't tell them.
等我回到家 我就要毁了你的生活 When I get home, I'm going to ruin your life.
如果我比你先到家就不行了 Not if I get there first.
天哪 救救我 Oh, god, oh, help me.
不 Oh, no.
他流失了太多的... 希望是血吧 He's lost too much of what I'm really hoping is blood.
不 No!
不 不 No, no!
-谢谢你救了我 -谢谢你活了下来 - Thanks for saving my life, I guess. - Thanks for not dying.
但我还是要打小报告 I'm still gonna tattle!
天哪 Ah, jeez.
-太爽了 -在水上开更爽 - Yeah. - Wait till you get her on the water.
什么 这还能在水上开 This goes on the water? What?
我感觉你们没什么问题 You know what, this feels right. Yeah.
-我就把它卖给你们了 -那我们现在要把它骑走吗 - I'm gonna sell her to you guys. - Uh, so should we take her now?
介意让我来吗 You mind if I drop her off?
我只想最后再骑它一次 I just wanted to get one last ride in.
-我打到红色疙瘩小人了 -等等 你们是怪胎吗 - I got the red goobler. - Wait, are you guys weird?
当然不是 你看 No, no, no. Look, okay.
过去二十年 我们一直在玩一个 We've been playing a game of
标记我们最好朋友的游戏 tag with our best friends for the past 20 years.
这让我们的关系更加亲密了 It's actually brought us much closer together.
晚点在我们家见吧 谢谢你的摩托艇 We'll see you at our house later. Thanks for the Jet-Ski.
你人很不错 再见 You're cool. Bye!
海绵宝宝 SpongeBob Square Pants.
抱歉 我有点失态了 Oof, I am sorry. I freaked out a little.
但好消息是 我们买到了摩托艇 But the good news is we have secured the Jet-Ski
而且红色疙瘩小人好像不见了 and it looks like the red goobler is gone.
特里 你做荷包蛋了吗 Terry, did you poach eggs?
不 我只喜欢炒蛋 煎蛋 白煮蛋 溏心蛋 No, I only like scrambled, fried, hard boiled, soft boiled,
单面煎蛋 双面煎蛋 半熟双面煎蛋 全熟双面煎蛋 sunny side, over easy, over medium, over hard,
复活节蛋 绿鸡蛋 班尼迪克蛋 麦满分和恶魔蛋 Easter, green, Benedict, McMuffin and deviled.
-红色疙瘩小人来过了 -我还喜欢烘蛋饼 - The red goobler was here! - Oh, I also like frittatas.
他怎么进来的 How did he get in?
他在对记忆海绵床垫低语 特里 He's whispering to the memory foam mattress, Terry.
他在说什么 床垫记住了什么 What is he telling it? What does that mattress remember?
他把我的《饥饿游戏》摇头娃娃拆封了 He unboxed my "Hunger Games" Funkos.
我本来还想把开箱史诺总统的视频传到油管上的 Ah, I was saving President Snow for my YouTube channel.
现在这都比不上法斯玛上尉的一半价钱了 Now it's not even worth half a Phasma.
他往我们的录像机里拷满了《国务卿女士》 He's filling up our DVR with "Madame Secretary."
-这是中年妇女看的剧 -那个混蛋 - That's a mom show. - The son of a bitch
-从冰箱里拿出了我的牛仔裤 -那是我拿的 - took my jeans out of the freezer. - Uh, I did that.
天哪 特伦特随时可能到 Oh, my God, Trent is gonna be here soon.
如果他看到这个 以为有人求我给他们口 If he sees that and thinks someone has asked me to blow them,
他就绝不可能把摩托艇卖给我们了 there's no way he's gonna sell us the Jet-Ski.
冷静点 大块头 别紧张 No, no, no, no. Easy, big guy. Don't get stressed.
他就希望这样 好吗 我们还有时间清理 That's what he wants, okay? We still have time to clean it up.
我们不能把红疙瘩小人的事告诉那些复制人 We can't tell the replicants anything about the red goobler.
我知道雅姆莱克会做噩梦 I know Yumyulack will have night terrors
最后他又会跑到我们床上睡 and he'll end up sleeping in our bed again.
-特里 科尔沃 -拜托 别告诉他们 我保证 - Terry, Korvo. - Please don't tell them. I prom...
雅姆莱克 你看 Yumyulack, look.
-我也有花了 真好看 -一般吧 - I got one, too. It's beautiful. - Meh.
我们不能让科尔沃和特里知道 We have to hide these from Korvo and Terry.
这会吓坏他们的 特里会做噩梦 It'll freak them out. Terry will have night terrors
最后他又会跑到我们床上睡 and he'll end up sleeping in one of our beds again.
什么 你不是说这一点也不特别吗 What? I thought you said it wasn't special.
是啊 但我现在也有了 所以还是挺酷的 Yeah, but now I have one, so it's cool.
-这是我们参加库珀·巴恩派对的入场券 -他们来了 - This is our ticket to Cooper Barn's party. - They're coming.
-你们今天过得怎么样 -还行 - So, how was, uh, how was your day? - Fine.
-你们呢 -也还行 - How was your day? - Equally fine.
没有什么红色疙瘩小人 Yep, there's no such thing as a red goobler.
也没有什么头花 I was just saying the same thing about head flowers.
-什么 -没什么 - What? - Nothing.
我知道早晚会有这一天 不过 I knew this day would come, but, man.
对曾经"置身其中"的东西总是难以告别 It is hard to say good-bye to something you have been inside of.
这是个比喻 I, I meant metaphorically.
-差不多就是这么回事 -好吧 - You know, whatever, dude. - Okay, well, uh,
祝你好运 特伦特 我们得走了 good luck with that whole thing, Trent. Um, we gotta go.
我们的背部蜜蜡除毛要迟到了 We're late to get our backs waxed.
快点 把他关进车库 Hurry, trap him in the garage.
该死 快抓住他 Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck, get him.
该死 妈的 抓住他 God damn it. Shit, shit, grab him.
是一个红色小人干的 A small red man did this.
我没有歧视侏儒的意思 And I don't mean that as, like, derogatory toward little people.
或者印第安人 哥们 Or Native Americans, dude.
他真的很小 红色的 He was just actually tiny and-- red--
糟了 特里 红色疙瘩小人陷害我们 This is bad, Terry. The red goobler set us up.
我们该怎么办 我不想进监狱 What are we gonna do? I can't go to prison.
我没有屁眼 我怎么偷带好东西进去 I don't have a butthole. How will I smuggle in treats?
我希望我能说这事并不经常发生 I wish I could say this wasn't something we see all the time.
但这座小镇的确面临着 But this town has a real problem
无法解释的大范围受伤的问题 with unexplained high-concept injuries.
就好像我们被诅咒了 见鬼 It's like we're cursed. Damn.
节哀顺变 他是你们的好朋友吗 I'm sorry for your loss. Was he a good friend?
不 不只如此 他代表着摩托艇 No, he was more than that. He was a Jet-Ski.
我们现实生活中的第一场高中派对 Wow, our first real-life high school party.
跟我梦想中的一模一样 It's just like I dreamed it would be.
看 库珀·巴恩已经 Look, Cooper Barn's already freaking out
在为大家破坏他的房子而生气了 that people are trashing his house.
这个可是传家之宝 别碰我的狗 That's a family heirloom. Get away from my dog.
布伦特 别吸我爸的骨灰 操 Brent, don't snort my dad's ashes. Fuck!
-典型的库珀 -你去跟斯塔茜们玩 - Classic Cooper. - So you hang out with the Stacis
我要去跟播客男孩们发展关系了 while I make my move on the podcast guys.
我要在八点前在一个小团体中扎下毒根 I wanna be toxically entrenched in a clique by 8:00.
-杰茜 -太好了 杰茜 - Whoo, Jesse. - Yas, Jesse.
你在干嘛呢 Hey, what are you doing here?
哥们 哥们 哥们 真高兴你在这儿 Dude, dude, dude, psyched you're here, man.
我喜欢你的耳机 你一点都不装逼 Love the headphones. You're not a poser at all.
你要跟我一起买辆货车吗 我们一起去旅行 Do you wanna buy a van with me? We could do road trips.
我们可以解决... 我们可以把它变成食品车 Oh, we could solve mys-- we could turn it into a food van.
我的天哪 我现在的水平大不一样了 哥们 Oh, my God, I'm operating at such a different level, bro.
我看到说日产奥德赛相当不错 Um, I have read that a Nissan Odyssey is a pretty sweet ride.
没错 一起来吧 哥们 Yeah, it is! Get in here, bro.
我感觉疙瘩小人在我背上 他在我背上吗 I feel like the goobler's on my back. Is he on my back?
说100万遍了 没有 等等 他在我背上吗 For the millionth time, no. Wait, is he on my back?
没有 你没事 No, you're clear.
哥们 难道生活从此就是这样了吗 Oh, man, is this what life is like from now on?
等着一包蕃茄酱从背后捅我们一刀 Just waiting for a ketchup packet to stab us in the back?
我们要跟他正面刚 就像凯文·麦卡利斯特 We have to take the fight to him. Just like Kevin McCallister,
电影《小鬼当家》主角
我们不能到了夜晚就变得软弱 we shall not go softly into the night.
他可能在任何地方 在排气口 在灯罩下面 He could be anywhere. In the vents, under a lampshade,
-在小镇的另一边 -你想想 - the other side of town. - Hey, think about it.
-他是由你的压力而生的 -然后呢 - He's literally made of your stress. - So?
所以他可能藏在 So he's probably hiding out
你能想象到的最有压力的地方 in the most stressful place you can imagine.
-这里是你最有压力的地方吗 -对 - This is your most stressful place? - Yes.
首先 他们怎么能全年都维持经营 For starters, how do they stay in business all year?
从经济上看完全不合理 It makes no sense financially.
这地方闻起来就像在塑料袋里面 The whole place smells like the inside of a plastic bag.
而且出于某种原因 他们还卖高价的PS4游戏机 And for some reason, they sell marked-up PS4s.
还有我害怕骷髅 你看 Plus I'm afraid of skeletons. Ah! See?
等等 他在这里 我能感觉到 Wait a minute, he's here. I can sense it.
而且我能看到他就在那儿 Also, I can see him right there.
太棒了 我们得把它买下来了 Oh, great, now we have to pay for that.
-你们都吃了莫莉吗 -莫莉吃了莫莉 - Are you guys on Molly? - Molly is on Molly,
迷幻药
但我们其他人吃的都是杰茜 but the rest of us are on Jesse.
你要来点这个吗 You want some of this?
杰茜 就是我 超级酷 Oh, yes, Jesse. That's me, super cool.
雅姆 雅姆 雅姆 雅姆 雅姆 雅姆 Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum.
我说的只是考虑一下 All I'm saying is think about it.
你会考虑吗 你他妈会考虑吗 Are you thinking about it? Are you fucking thinking about it?
-我要考虑什么 -我们去森林旅游 - What am I thinking about? - Our trip to the woods.
-出一本色情食谱 -结婚 - Self-publishing an erotic cookbook. - Getting married.
好的 我不是说不行 但我要考虑一下 Yes, yes, and I'm not saying no, but I need to think about it.
我是个白痴 我他妈是个白痴 I'm an idiot. I'm a fucking idiot.
你们想听我刚写好的诗吗 Hey, you guys want to hear a poem I just wrote?
太他妈想了 哥们 Fuck yes, dude!
这是有史以来最棒的一晚 我有昵称了 This is the greatest night ever. I have a nickname.
-他们叫我美味熊 -你就是个美味熊 - They're calling me Yummy Bear. - You are such a Yummy Bear.
-对你太合适了 -是吧 - That's so you. - Right?
我很抱歉我之前像个混蛋 Hey, uh, I'm sorry I've been such a dick.
我知道你只是想跟朋友玩 我想我是嫉妒 I know you just wanted to hang out and I guess I was jealous.
你是很混蛋 但现在没事了 You were a dick. But it's okay now.
这里的化妆品都涨了十倍的价格 The makeup here is marked up 1,000 percent.
-这些衣服都好淫荡 -坚持住 科尔沃 - All these costumes are so slutty. - Keep it together, Korvo.
他想要你有压力 He wants you stressed.
-操你妈 -他在那儿 打他 - Fuck you! - There he is, get him.
他去哪儿了 Where did he go?
操 我讨厌这种地方 我讨厌镜子 该死 Fuck, I hate this kind of place. I hate mirrors, goddamn it.
太吓人了 This is so scary.
所以显然我要买一辆货车 写一本食谱 So apparently I'm buying a van, writing a cookbook,
可能还要跟马克·墨尔纳结婚 and maybe marrying Mark Melner.
真幸运 我一直觉得他会是个好爸爸 Lucky, I always thought he'd make a good dad.
怎么了 妹子 Oh, hey, what's up, girl?
怎么回事 斯塔茜·K What the heck? Staci K?
我要杀了你 I'll kill you!
糟了 你的蠢花粉跟我的酷花粉肯定混在一起 Oh, shit, your dumb pollen must have mixed with my cool pollen
让大家都发疯了 and turned everyone into crazies.
-天哪 -来 我们快离开这里 - Ah! Cripes. - Come on, let's get out of here.
保持冷静 你最棒了 科尔沃 Stay calm. You're the man, Korvo.
你是个性感男神 坚持住 You're a sexy hunk. Keep it together.
科尔沃 你在哪里 别有压力 哥们 Korvo, where are you? Don't stress, man.
我们还是能抓住他的 天啊 We can still get him. Oh, my God!
-怎么了 -他们卖迷你日本奇巧巧克力 - What? - They have mini Japanese Kit Kats
各种各样口味的都有 in all sorts of flavors.
-不 -逮到你了 - No! - Busted.
尝尝这个 贱人 Check us out, bitch.
再跟我解释一下为什么不能杀死这个混账 Explain to me again why we aren't just killing this A-hole.
那样的话 在某种意义上 他就得手了 If we do then, in a way, he wins.
也许通过把他剖开 研究他的内在 Maybe by cutting him open and studying his insides,
我就能学会控制压力 而不是仅仅逃避它 I can learn how to control my stress instead of just avoiding it.
你想得可真周到 科尔沃 Aw, that's nice, Korvo.
但我还是提议把这个贱货拿去火上烤了 But I still say we light this little cunt on fire.
注意语言 特里 Oh, language, Terry.
抱歉 绿茶奇巧巧克力给我吃嗨了 Sorry. I'm just all jacked up on green tea Kit Kats.
大伙 我们遇到了一个杰茜造成的大麻烦 Uh, guys, we have a big problem that Jesse caused.
我们脑袋上长花了 肯定是因为青春期 We grew flowers on our heads. We know it's a puberty thing
-我们要变成成年人了 -什么叫"便成人" - and that we're turning into adults. - What's "Poo-berty"?
你知道的 就是人类开始长毛发 You know, when humans grow hair
还有丁丁流血的那些事 and bleed out of their penises and stuff.
-天啊 -那太糟糕了 - Oh, my God. - Oh, that's awful.
你们不是人类 你们没有青春期 You're not a human. You don't get to have a puberty.
你们只会长到我们这么大 You grow into our size
然后最终会变成一颗有智慧的古树 and then eventually turn into a wise old tree.
如果幸运的话 有人会用你们躯干造房子 And if you're lucky, someone uses your body to build a house.
你们这只是因为不洗手所以才长霉菌了 This is just fungus you get from not washing your hands.
你们要勤洗手 You gotta wash those hands.
只要你们没有让里面的花粉混合 It's fine as long as you didn't
然后传染给其他人就没事 懂了吗 let your pollens mix and infect anyone, all right?
唯一能阻止这场传染病的办法 The only way to stop this infection
就是把血清给他们皮下注射进去 is to inject the serum under their skin.
但不能被他们咬到 否则我们也会变疯 But we can't let them bite us or we'll turn crazy too.
所以我们要用上这些应急医疗武器 Which is why we have to use these emergency medical weapons.
-我们能去砍人了 -这不会伤到他们 - We get to cut people up? - It doesn't hurt them.
伤口会自动愈合 The cuts all heal themselves
因为刀上释放的科幻粘液 because of the sci-fi goo the blades emit.
无聊 Lame.
但就安全来说 用飞镖什么的不是更好吗 But wouldn't it be safer to use, like, a dart or something?
你想用飞镖 好呀 You want to use a dart? Okay, yeah.
那你去用飞镖吧 这可比飞镖酷多了 Go ahead, use a dart. This is way cooler than a dart.
让我们去捅些小孩来救他们的命吧 Let's go stab some kids and save some lives.
谢谢你 Thank you.
吃我一招 Oh, eat it!
-爽 -谢了老兄 - Yes! - Thanks, man.
抱歉 我在救你们 不用谢我 我爱你们 I'm sorry, I'm healing you. You're welcome, I love you.
谢谢 Wow, thanks.
别担心 他们什么都不会记得 Don't worry, they won't remember any of this.
但他们会记住我这么酷炫的对吗 But they're gonna remember I'm cool, right?
不 他们能记起你原来不酷就不错了 No, at best, they'll remember that you aren't.
-谢了 兄弟 -不客气 - Oh, thanks, man. - Yeah, no problem.
-你来干什么 -来和我的兄弟坐在一起 - Whoa, dude, what are you doing? - Sitting with my party buds.
-昨晚可太疯狂了 对吧 -老弟 - Last night was crazy, right? - Bro.
这桌是苹果无线耳机用户专用 This table's for air podders only.
我也能换成蓝牙耳机 I could turn into a pod.
没用的 这个位置已经被耳机占了 No way, man. Pod save this seat for someone else.
抱歉 美味小熊 斯塔茜们也这么对我 Sorry, Yummy Bear. Same thing happened to me with the Stacis.
她们让平胸的我滚回墨西哥星去 They told me to take my flat ass back to Planet Mexico.
每个又棒又酷的人都是那么的混蛋 Everyone who's awesome and cool is such a jerk.
我也一直挺混蛋的 但我怎么混得这么差 I'm a jerk all the time, but it never gets me anywhere.
我们听说你们昨晚去了那个疯狂的派对 Hey, uh, we heard you guys were at that crazy party last night.
你听谁说的疯狂 没有人被刀捅啊 Who said it was crazy? No one got stabbed.
不不不不 我们从没去过那种派对 Oh, no, no, no. We haven't been to any of those parties.
我们只想听你们说说 We just want to hear about it.
一开始 我们都在巴恩的家里 So first, we were all hanging out at Barn's house.
-在谷仓里吗 -不是 是库珀·巴恩的家里 - Was it in a real barn? - No, it was Cooper Barn's house.
显然 酷小孩们互相以姓氏称呼 Apparently, cool kids call each other by their last name.
寄往非洲肯尼亚
起床了小贱人 我们是时候来谈谈了 Wake up, you little slut. It's time me and you had it out.
什么 What the?
不 不不不不不不 No. No, no, no, no, no, no.
这就是个普通的疙瘩 This is a regular goob--
特里 你看到我的网球拍了吗 Terry, have you seen my tennis racket?
我注意到那些 I've noticed that women
打网球的女性都比较强势 who play tennis are particularly dominant.
我可能有机会找到一位更独断的伴侣 I have a better chance of finding an assertive mate while--
-红色疙瘩小人哪去了 -我把他杀了 - What, where is the red goobler? - I killed him.
-我去 特里 真够冷血的 -嗯 - Damn, Terry, that's cold. - Yeah.
我只是 我知道他只要活着 I just, um, I knew as long as he was alive,
你就总会担心他有没有逃跑 you would always worry about him escaping,
我想让你 过得没那么多压力 and I wanted you to have, just, less stress in your life.
我太在乎你了 所以我就把他给剁了 I care about you, man. So I chopped up his body
拿去喂了猪 然后把猪射向了太空 and I fed it to the pigs, and I shot the pigs into space.
所以不用担心 那些猪很安全 并没有 So don't worry, those pigs are safe. No, they're not.
这真是别人对我做过最好的事情了 That is the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me.
谢谢你 特里 Thank you, Terry.
我感觉好放松 我洗了个澡 Oh, I feel so relaxed. I took a bath.
单纯泡着 屌都没有洗 Just a soak. Didn't even wash my junk.
没人再追杀我了 这感觉太好了 特里 Nobody's hunting me anymore and it feels good, Terry.
-这才像话 -对 感觉不错 晚安 - It feels right. - Uh, yep, feels great. Good night.
现在我可以享受安全无忧的优质睡眠了 Ah, I will now enjoy the stress-free sleep of safety,
知道外面没人在谋划取我性命 knowing that no one out there is playing the long game
等待着我放下防备 这些都没有了 waiting for me to drop my guard, or-or anything like that.
科尔沃死亡计划