该死 他们又不来了 God dammit. They're not coming. Again.
电脑 关掉模拟墨西哥街头乐队 Computer, turn off the mariachi simulación.
希望你们都是去为周二塔可之夜 I should hope that you're all going out to get more Miller L-l-l-lights
买美乐啤酒的 for Tuesday Taco Night Thing.
等等 是今晚 我发誓是周一 Oh wait, that was tonight? Aw, I could've sworn that was on Monday.
一直都是周二 你们已经错过了最近三次了 It's always on Tuesdays, and you've missed the last tres.
我们知道你只是想骗我们陪你玩 We know you're just trying to trick us into hanging out with you.
不 我是想骗你们来学习修理飞船 No! I'm trying to trick you into learning about ship repair.
我们要躲你多少次 How many times do we have to ghost on you
你才能停止搞这个塔可的活动 before you stop with the taco thing?
-你们必须来 -没门 - Oh, you're coming. - Nuh-uh.
你们一定会来 求我停下 Oh, you're gonna come so hard you're gonna beg me to stop.
疯狂高潮
你做梦吧 Yeah, you wish.
我们要去参加康纳·米勒的生日派对 We're going to Conner Miller's birthday party.
他妈妈很有钱 他爸爸想要成为小说家 His mom is rich, and his dad's trying to be a novelist,
所以他们肯定会大吵 so I bet they get in a big fight.
到时会有魔术师 There's gonna be a magician.
那将是我《魔术师签名日记》里的第一个签名 It'll be my first autograph in my awesome Magician Autograph Journal!
魔术很蠢 Magic is stupid.
也许我会跟你们去 这样我就能揭秘他的魔术了 Maybe I'll tag along just so I can explain how he's doing his tricks.
别来 你不会喜欢的 Please don't come. You know, I don't think you'd like it.
这跟家务或者嘶吼都无关 It has nothing to do with chores or yelling.
科尔沃 你不太擅长社交 Um, Korvo, you don't really do well in a social setting.
这是你的特点 It's kinda like your thing.
你的逆反心理奏效了 特里 Hm, your reverse psychology has worked, Terry.
没有什么能阻止我跟你们一起去那小孩的生日派对 Nothing will stop me from joining you at this child's birthday party.
耶 科尔沃 Yay, Korvo!
好浪费纸 What a waste of paper.
跟小孩相关的唯一好的仪式就是犹太人的 The only good ceremony involving children is the Jewish one
他们切鸡鸡 我说得对吗 where they cut off the penis. Am I right?
慢点 Slow down!
就是一把减速射线枪 没什么大不了的 Just a slow-down ray. No big deal.
魔术 魔术 魔术 Magic. Magic. Magic. Magic. Magic.
恰到好处 On the nose much?
魔术 魔术 Magic! Magic!
兔子藏在桌子下面 弱智 Rabbit was hidden under the table. Dumb.
假大拇指 Fake thumb.
腋下藏了泡沫球 Foam ball in the armpit.
嘴里塞满了旗子 Mouth full of flags.
这太傻了 任何人都能做到 This is so stupid, anyone could do this.
我也能做到 I could do this.
什洛普星曾是个完美的乌托邦 Planet Shlorp was a perfect utopia.
直到被小行星撞上 Until the asteroid hit.
一百个成人以及他们的复制人分到了一只噗噗 One hundred adults and their replicants were issued a Pupa
逃往了太空 and escaped into, uh, the space,
在杳无人迹的世界里寻找新家 searching for new homes on uninhabited worlds.
我们坠落在地球上 困在了一个已经人口过密的星球 We crashed on Earth, stranding us on an already overpopulated planet.
是的 我一直在说这个 That's right, I've been talking this whole time.
抱着噗噗的人是我 我叫科尔沃 I'm the one holding the Pupa. My name's Korvo.
这是我的节目 我的噗噗掉了 你看到我了吗 This is-- this is my show. I just dropped the Pupa. Do you see me?
这太荒唐了 This is ridiculous.
我讨厌地球 这是个糟糕的家园 I hate Earth. It's a horrible home.
人类笨死了 People are stupid.
他们总是说他们有多爱他们的家人 They're always talking about how they love their family,
但他们从不把他们的家人变得巨大 but they're never making their family gigantic.
全是正常大小 They're all normal sized.
如果你喜欢一样事物 你就该试图把它变得巨大 If you like something, you should be trying to make it gigantic.
外星也难民 第一季 第三集
好了 记得分享哦 All right, be sure to share.
确保低层的人能拿到瑞斯糖 别独占彩虹糖 Make sure the lower levels get Reese's and don't hog the Skittles.
雅姆莱克 我要走了 Yumyulack, I'm heading out.
我想早到学校 I like to get to school early
这样就能观看老师们在停车场里喝酒了 so I can watch the teachers drink in the parking lot.
等等 我想把我最新的受害者 Oh hold on. I just want to put my latest victim,
我是说样本 也放进去 I mean specimen, in there too.
等等 我认识她 Wait, I know her.
那不就是那个把她家狗的狗屎放进邮箱的女人 Is that the lady who puts her dog's poop in the mailbox?
我倒是想呢 Ugh, I wish.
就是脱衣舞俱乐部旁边的红花餐厅的服务员 It's just the waitress from the Benihana over by the strip club.
她为什么要放到墙里 她不是挺好的吗 Why is she going in the wall? I thought she was a nice one.
我说我不想要虾 I said I didn't want shrimp!
如果我过敏 我可能会死掉 你想那样吗 If I was allergic, I could have died! Is that what you want?
当然不 我希望一切都能永生 你是知道的 Of course not. I wish everything lived forever. You know that.
我的天 Oh my god.
我他妈在哪 Where the fuck am I?
欢迎 市民 Welcome, citizen.
离我远点 Get away from me--
你口袋里的东西都是我们的了 Whatever you got in your pockets is ours!
钱包 口香糖 钥匙金属 Wallet, gum, key metal--
她有抗胃酸咀嚼钙片 She's got Tums!
不要敬酒不吃吃"牙签" We could do this the easy way or the toothpick way.
-你们选 -这事没完 - Your choice. - This isn't over.
人人总有一听会用完高级牙签的 Everyone runs out of fancy toothpicks at some point.
想要活命跟我走 Come with me if you want to live.
-这是《 铁血战士》的台词 -是《终结者》 - That's from Predator. - It's from the Terminator.
我去 真的吗 我这么说都好几周了 Oh, crap, really? 'Cause I've been saying that for weeks.
-你确定吗 -那电影我都看了一百遍了 - Are you sure? - I've seen that movie a hundred times.
我们该走了 我真蠢 We should go. Ugh, I'm such an idiot.
你好啊 科尔沃 你想继续 What's up, Korvo? Do you want to resume, um,
纠正跨银河系的导航网里的错误吗 correcting any inaccuracies in the cross-galactic navigation matrix?
不 我没空放松 No, I don't have time to relax.
今天我们得搞清我要怎么成为魔术师 Today we need to find out how I can be a magician.
魔术不是很...逊吗 Isn't magic... lame?
如果魔术很逊 If magic is lame,
你的全息影像里为什么会有25美分 then why do you have a quarter in your hologram?
什么 真不敢相信 What? Get the fuck out of here. Wow.
没错 好了 我要尽快变成最棒的魔术师 Exactly. Okay, I need to be the best magician I can as fast as possible.
这是某种情感弧线吗 Is this some sort of emotional arc?
魔术师从不暴露他的动机 A magician never reveals his motivations.
开始吧 Let's get started.
奇迹计算中 Calculating wonder.
完成 我会以地球上顶级魔幻师的方式教你 Done. I'll teach in the form of Earth's greatest illusionists.
胡迪尼 科波菲尔和迷男 Houdini, Copperfield, and Mystery,
《把妹达人》里的搭讪艺术家 the pickup artist from The Game.
我能逃脱一切 否定任何人 I can escape anything and neg anyone.
你没你朋友性感 You're not as hot as your friend.
科波菲尔的部分在哪 Which part is Copperfield?
被另外两种人格吃了 The other two personalities ate him.
能请你给我个正常点的教程吗 Can I please just get a regular tutorial?
好的 处理中 Fine. Processing.
你似乎应该把简单的把戏 It seems like you should combine simple tricks
和你已经擅长的事情结合起来 with what you're already great at.
烹饪鲑鱼吗 Cooking salmon?
电脑 减少25%的不耐烦语气 Computer, lower impatience expression by 25 percent.
你应该把先进技术融入你的表演 You should incorporate advanced technology into your act.
结合外星技术和手上功夫 Combine alien technology with sleight of hand,
那样的表演会震撼全场 a show like that would blow people's minds!
尤其如果我们在中场休息时提供鲑鱼 Especially if we served salmon at intermission.
公爵说我们的彩虹糖税你交晚了 The Duke says you're late on our Skittle tax.
我只找到一颗小薄荷巧克力豆 All I could find was a Junior Mint.
-接着走 别掺和 -这到底是什么地方 - Keep walking, don't get involved. - What the hell is this place?
整个世界是外星人孩子创造的一个监狱 This whole world is a prison created by alien kids.
它是由贯通的玻璃容器组成的系统 It's made up of a system of connected terrariums.
那些家伙是执法者 Those guys are enforcers.
承蒙公爵怜爱
他们是由围墙统治者组成的军事警察的一部分 They're part of a martial police formed by the ruler of the wall.
我猜那就是公爵 I'm guessing that's The Duke?
挺复杂的 It's pretty complicated.
他是不是就像《纽约大逃亡》里的纽约公爵 Is he like The Duke of New York from Escape from New York?
好吧 对 没错 Oh, okay, yeah, yeah, it's exactly like that.
我把那部电影忘了 对 一模一样 Oh, I forgot about that movie. Yeah. It's exactly the same.
杰茜 那个外星人女孩 Jesse, the girl alien,
给我们糖果和小礼物 gives us candy and little gifts.
然后由公爵贮存和分配 And then The Duke hoards and distributes that,
那就是他掌握控制权的方式 and that's just, you know, that's how he keeps control.
对 就这样 Yeah, you got it.
这根绳子为什么有薄荷味 Why is this rope so minty?
因为是牙线 我们物尽其用 Because it's floss. We use what we have!
我的裤子是波利口袋里的 My pants are from a Polly Pocket.
来吧 选张牌 Go ahead, pick a card.
现在我会把这些牌变成56种灭绝动物 I will now turn these cards into 56 different extinct animals.
我想这张...就是你的牌 I believe this... is your card.
科尔沃 这太精彩了 Korvo, that was amazing!
你什么时候变成魔术师的 When did you become a magician?
我在秘密学习 好让你们喜欢我 I've been secretly learning so you guys would love me!
你成功了 Well, it worked!
我们应该出去吃披萨 聊聊你有多棒 We should go out for pizza and talk about how great you are.
不要 Hm, no.
我以为我学习魔法是为了吸引你们的注意 You know, I thought I learned magic to get your attention,
但那不再能满足我了 but that's just not enough anymore.
现在你们对我来说都太俗太逊了 You're all too provincial and lame for me now.
一次表演就让你忘乎所以吗 You're intoxicated with fame off one performance?
是的 Yes.
可我们根本一点都不俗 But we're not like even, like, a little provincial.
他怎么会这么想 Where's he getting this bullshit?
既然我比你们高级 Now that I'm better than you,
我要成为有史以来最伟大的魔术师 I'm going to become the greatest magician of all time,
而你们将在我的传记电影中被共同描绘成 and you will collectively be portrayed as the first wife
我那位不信任我的原配妻子 who didn't believe in me in my biopic.
我总是把电影停在那个时候 I always stop the movie at that point,
设想主角与朋友和家人 so I assume it goes great for the protagonist
断绝关系后飞黄腾达 after he cuts ties with his friends and family.
享受被抛弃的感觉吧 Enjoy being left behind!
感觉就像我和安塞尔·埃尔格特结婚的时候 This is just like the time when I married Ansel Elgort.
那个小流氓 让他逃了算他走运 The little scamp. He's lucky he got away.
我爱他那么深 为什么我不能打电话给他啊 I loved him so much. Ugh, why can't I call him?
我为你安排了 I got you a meeting
与世界上最大的魔术师星探的见面 with the biggest magician talent scout in the world.
她住在铁轨旁 She lives in a one-bedroom apartment
温迪快餐店楼上的单间公寓 above the Wendy's by the train tracks.
我没准备好 我没有魔杖也没有助理 I'm not ready, I-I don't have a wand o-or an assistant--
我一样只需要一套 I really only needed one of each.
你的下个魔术能不能是不要抱怨 How about your next trick is not complaining for once?
去你的 电脑 言语伤人 Fuck you, computer. Words can hurt.
这里是市场 This is the marketplace.
如果有需要的东西 你可以来这里以物易物 If there's something you need, you can barter for it here.
人们用什么交换 What do people trade with?
大多是他们被缩小时口袋里装的任何东西 Well, mostly whatever they had in their pockets when they got shrunk.
如果你穿的是工装裤 你就算发财了 If you had cargo shorts on, you're basically rich.
郊区爸爸和遛狗蕾丝边在这里过得像国王 Suburban dads and lesbian dog walkers live like kings in here.
你的头发是很宝贵的 You know, your hair is pretty valuable.
我们也许能用刘海换一些麦克糖 We could probably trade those bangs in for some Mikes,
甚至季节对的话可能换到一个艾克糖 maybe even an Ike if they're in season.
恩里克 别吃那个 Enrique? Don't eat that.
你知道它会让你得血糖抖的 You know it gives you the sugar shakes.
血糖抖 Sugar shakes?
对 我们不知道糖尿病那个词叫什么 Yeah, we don't know the word for diabetes.
就是糖尿病 It's diabetes.
对 抱歉 我脑子短路了 Oh yeah. S-- I'm sorry. I'm losing my mind.
我几个月没吃过蔬菜了 I haven't had a vegetable in months.
爸 拜托 就一口 Dad, come on, just a sip.
你在投放区找没找到胰岛素 Did you find any insulin? Down at the drop zone?
抱歉 老兄 来的人都只有薄荷糖和辉瑞唇膏 Sorry, man. Everyone who came in only had breath mints and Chapsticks.
妈的 连着好多天都是辉瑞唇膏 Damn. We've got Chapsticks for days!
我们会解决这个问题的 我保证 Look, we're gonna make it work. I promise.
你爸爸会没事的 Your dad is gonna be okay.
他既然有糖尿病 为什么还一直吃巧克力 If this man is diabetic, why does he keep eating chocolate?
他们只给我们投喂糖 Well, the only food they give us is candy.
偶尔会投喂一个苹果或者鸡尾酒洋葱 Sometimes they'll drop in an apple or a cocktail onion,
在含有少量姜黄和辣椒粉的 盐水中腌制的珍珠洋葱
但这很少发生 but it's very rare.
我们得想办法和公爵以物换物得到胰岛素 We have to figure out how to barter for insulin from The Duke.
他在这里无所不能 He can get anything in here.
老天 他可真是狼吞虎咽 Man, he is really going to town.
爸 别再吃了 你根本都不饿 Dad, stop! You're not even hungry!
如果你觉得我和那些老套的魔术师一样 If you thought I was any old magician,
很抱歉你想错了 I hate to burst your balloon.
给气球放气
表演结束 End of trick.
真正的魔术始终在你心中 The real magic was in you the whole time.
给我鼓掌 Now, now clap.
-省了吧 -什么 为什么 - Pass. - What? W-why?
比起"见证奇迹的时刻" 你的表演"半死不活" You're less "abra cadabra" and more "average cadaver."
你一点都不勾人 孩子 You got no personality, kid.
我可以试着造一台能把别人魅力偷来的设备 I-I-I could try to build a device that steals other people's charisma
然后像化疗一样把魅力注射进我体内 and then inject it into my body like chemotherapy.
你就是个可悲的秃头蓝色怪胎 You're a sad blue creep with no hair.
你不会成名的 It's not gonna happen.
你才是个可悲的蓝色怪胎 You're a sad blue creep!
怎么 你还哭起来了 What are you, crying?
我没哭 是你哭了 I-I'm not crying, you're crying!
这可真够瘆人的 Well, this is creepy.
这层归头花神教教堂管 Yeah, this level is run by the Bowinian church.
这个神教崇拜杰茜 It's the religion that worships Jesse,
那个给我们食物和药物的外星人小女孩 the girl alien who gives us food and medicine.
她是那个戴着头花的 She's the one with the bow--
我明白了 原来叫"头花神教教堂"是因为这个 yeah, oh, hey now, that's why they call it the "Bowinian Church."
我刚反应过来 Okay, I just got that.
已经有完备的宗教了 There's already a whole religion?
你们在这里待了多久啊 How long have you people been in here?
这里的时间流速与外界不同 能改变一个人 Time moves differently in the wall. It changes a man.
等等 那些外星人能操控时间吗 Wait, the aliens can control time?
不不 这是个隐喻 No, no. It's more like a metaphor.
你看 我们大量摄入糖 Just, look, we eat a lot of candy,
这让一切都变得很奇怪 and that makes everything weird.
还有 这里没有日历 没有时钟 Plus, there's no calendar or clocks.
像拉斯维加斯一样 你能别问了行吗 Think of it like Vegas. Okay, could you just go with it?
行 我天 我懂了 Okay, geez. It tracks.
恐怕我们无能为力 I'm afraid we have nothing to spare.
我们的胰岛素是在扭扭乐上培养霉菌得到的 Our insulin is derived from the mold we grow on old Twizzlers.
仅够供应我们的教徒 We only have enough for the flock.
扯淡 That's bullshit!
你是在怕公爵如果觉得 You're afraid The Duke will be pissed
你在和他竞争 会把他惹怒 if he thinks you're competing with him!
我们自己动手抢吧 We should just take it.
我会为你父亲祈祷的 I'll pray for your father.
我就知道他们不会帮我们 I knew they wouldn't help us.
-宗教就是扯淡 -等等 - Religion's such bullshit. - Wait!
-拿上这个 -这是什么 - Take this. - What is it?
是吉姆牛肉干 It's a Slim Jim.
这勉强够吃两口 但还有些价值 It's barely two snaps long, but it's gotta be worth something.
用它去换你想要的东西吧 Use it to trade for what you seek.
我不该做这些的 愿头花与你同在 Oh, I-I shouldn't be here. May the bow be with you.
在这里 蛋白质价值连城 Protein is like gold in here.
但这能让公爵满意吗 But is this enough for The Duke?
不能 但我知道我们能用它换什么了 No, but I know what we can trade it for.
剧场后门
会魔术还不够 我还得讨人喜欢 Tricks aren't enough, I have to be likable?
这要怎么做到 That's impossible!
我真后悔学了魔术 I wish I'd never learned magic!
看 垃圾魔术 Check it out! Trash magic!
还有能变成鸽子的花束 And the bouquet that turns into doves!
然后能变成翼手龙 That then turn into pterodactyls!
我一般只传人们看母乳喂养时反应的视频 I-I usually only post breastfeeding reaction videos,
但这太酷了 but this is sick.
烧伤患者/伏地魔垃圾魔术
纽约 《吉米今夜秀》
这太了不起了 简直难以置信 Okay, this is so amazing, I can't believe it.
我们的下一位客人是 他太牛 太牛了 Our next guest is, he's so great, he's so great,
有请"神奇的烧伤垃圾魔术师" please welcome "The Incredible Burn Victim Trash Man!"
我是想上《鸡毛秀》的 I wanted to be on Kimmel.
明晚 拉斯维加斯赌场有幸 Tomorrow night, the Vegas Vegas Casino is proud
为您呈现神奇的烧伤垃圾魔术师 to present The Incredible Burn Victim Trash Man!
表演史上最危险的魔术 Featuring the most dangerous trick anyone has ever attempted,
穿越黑洞 leaping through a black hole!
他究竟会怎样在能撕毁原子结构的 How will he survive the gravimetric forces
引力下绝境求生呢 as they rip his atomic structure asunder?
我们明天要去拉斯维加斯看科尔沃表演魔术啦 We're going to Vegas tomorrow to see Korvo do tricks!
我终于能参观罪恶之城啦 罪恶万岁 I'll finally see the city of sin! Yay, sin!
我要在马戏团大酒店大赌特赌 I'm gonna bet it all at Circus Circus!
我要救一名性工作者于水火之中 And I'm gonna rescue a sex worker!
她永远都不用再做爱了 Aw, she's never gonna have sex again.
也可能是他 Or he!
您好 Greetings.
我是世界知名的魔术师 威尔金斯·米考伯 I am world renowned magician Wilkins Micawber.
我站在魔术师事业的巅峰 I'm as famous as a magician can get,
像海姆斯沃斯三弟一样 think the third Hemsworth brother,
还有我的神秘搭档 as are my mysterious compatriots.
我们是来与神奇的烧伤垃圾魔术师对赌 We are here to parlay with The Incredible Burn Victim Trash Man.
-他在哪 -他在楼上练习魔术 - Where hence ye? - He's practicing his act upstairs.
谁也不能去打扰他 Nobody's supposed to interrupt him.
我好像闻到了低级魔术师的恶臭 I thought I smelled the stench of lesser magicians.
听着听着 你不能表演那个黑洞的魔术 Listen, listen, listen. You can't do this black hole trick.
那个好得过分了 It's too amazing!
如果你成功了 我们的事业就完了 If you survive, our careers die.
我想做什么就做什么 你们管不着 I do what I want, leave me alone!
我没要到他们的签名 I didn't get their autographs!
神奇的烧伤垃圾魔术师让我们别无选择 The Incredible Burn Victim Trash Man left us no choice.
我知道魔术法律不赞成谋杀 Now I know murder is frowned upon by magic law,
但我热爱大麻和娼妓 but I love weed and prostitutes.
所以我需要这些钱 So I need that money.
我们要让这个成为他的盛大告别演出 告别人生 We'll make sure this is his grand finale. Of life.
我再也要不到他们的签名了 Oh, now I'll never get their autographs.
而且他们要杀科尔沃 And they're gonna kill Korvo!
幸好我出来了 Pretty convenient I came out here.
你今天是怎么了 噗噗 What is your deal today, Pupa?
你不会拿着吉姆牛肉干乱跑 Eh, you don't toss around a Slim Jim like this
除非你要做交易 unless you mean business.
我们要你的《花花公子》 我们知道你有 We need your Playboy. We know you have it.
你们疯了吗 Have you lost your mind?
这可是西海岸十校联赛女生特刊 It's the Girls of the Pac 10.
一个学校至少也得20块牛肉干 That would cost at least, uh, 20 snaps per Pac.
哥们 别这样 Come on, man!
对不起 这交易我做不了 Hey, I'm sorry, but I can't make the trade.
这是进入这里的 It's one of the only pieces of reading material
少数阅读材料之一 that made it in here.
而且还有乳头 你懂的 Plus titties, you know.
对不起 哥们 但我需要这本《花花公子》 Sorry, dude, but I need that Playboy!
-佩德罗 你干嘛 -我抢到了 快跑 - Pedro! What the hell? - I got it. Go!
快来帮忙 我被抢劫了 Help! I'm being robbed!
红花餐厅 贱人 Benihana, bitch.
科尔沃先生 你能不能解释一下 Mr. Korvo, could you explain exactly
我们面前的到底是什么 what we're looking at here?
这是一个量子环 It's a Quantum Ring,
我用我的太空飞船零件建造的黑洞 a black hole I built out of pieces from my space cruiser.
你得有充分的物理知识才能理解 You kind of have to know a lot about physics to understand--
-看上去像星际之门 -什么是星际之门 - Looks like a Stargate. - What's a Stargate?
就是这个 这也是库尔特·拉塞尔第四好的电影 It's what this is, and the fourth best Kurt Russell movie.
那今天我就做库尔特·拉塞尔 跳进这个黑洞 Then today I will be Kurt Russell, by diving through the black hole.
如果我进入的角度正确 就能毫发无损地通过 If I hit it at just the right angle, I should pass through unharmed.
如果失误哪怕一毫米 If I'm even a millimeter off,
我就会死 可能时间也会内爆 I die and maybe time implodes,
后面这部分我不太确定 I'm not sure about that last part.
所以这要么会是一场精彩的表演 So either it's a great show
要么我就不用再付抚养费了 or I no longer have to pay my alimony.
我恨那个女人 I hate that woman.
我是泰德·约翰逊 This is Ted Johnson,
我在一场魔术表演的后台为你进行报道 reporting from backstage at a magic show.
绝对是星际之门 Yeah, definitely a Stargate.
科尔沃 你有麻烦了 我们来提醒你的 Korvo, you're in trouble! A-and we came to warn you!
但你们还停下来买T恤了 But you stopped to get t-shirts.
这是为了不在人群中走散 It was in case we got separated in the crowd!
魔术师们打算在你表演大绝招之前杀了你 Magicians are gonna kill you before you do your big trick!
我知道怎么回事了 Oh, hm, I see what this is.
你们嫉妒我 想要掺和我的演出 You got jealous and now you want to be part of my show.
你们本来都有机会参加我的周二塔可之夜 You all had your chance to show me you appreciated me
向我表示感激 by coming to my Tuesday Night Taco Thing,
但相反 我不得不把塔可都扔掉了 but instead I had to throw all the tacos away.
还记得吗 早些时候 Remember that? From earlier?
不 那是100万年前的事了吧 No, that was like a million years ago.
你不会还在生这个气吧 You can't still be mad at that.
保安 我不认识这些人 让他们出去 Security, I don't know these people. Get them out of here!
他们要谋杀你 They're gonna do a murder on you!
我不需要你们 这是我的高光时刻 I don't need you! This is my arc!
你干了什么 Wow, what did you do?
我不知道 我踢了他那个人类的东西 I don't know, I kicked him in that thing people have.
我们得分头行动 找到那些魔术杀手 We gotta split up and find those magic murderers.
那些卡牌都到哪里去了 And where did all those cards go?
你们明早第一次大便时 I think you'll all be pleasantly surprised
就会收获惊喜的 during your first bowel movement tomorrow.
女士们先生们 现在开始我今晚的最后一个魔术 And now, ladies and gentlemen, my final trick of the night!
我将成为历史上第一位 I will be the first magician in history
穿越黑洞的魔术师 to jump through a black hole!
他们在那儿 There they are!
我的天哪 雅姆莱克 Oh my god, wow, Yumyulack,
你刚把那些人给割喉了 you just cut those guys' throats.
你结束了两个人类的生命 你疯了吧 You just ended two human lives. That's crazy.
但你是为了挽救科尔沃的生命 所以也没关系 But you were doing it to save Korvo's life, man. So it's okay.
对 没关系 没事的 没事的 Yeah, it's okay. We're good, we're good.
天哪 他死了 我的科维 Oh god, he's dead! My Korvy!
不 No!
欢迎光临寒舍 Welcome to my humble abode.
我是公爵 暗地统治者 I'm The Duke. The ruler of shadows.
主脉 大人物 人民的宠儿 The main vein. The big boy. The top puppy.
我的守卫告诉我 你们有兴趣做交换 My guards tell me you're interested in a swap of some kind?
西海岸十校联赛女生特刊 Girls of the Pac 10!
我要拿什么跟你们交换呢 What can I trade you for?
我们需要胰岛素 我爸爸快死了 We need insulin. My dad is dying.
我疯了才会不同意 I'd be crazy not to take that deal.
给我的朋友们拿些甜酒 Hey, get some sugar shots for my friends here!
太感谢您了 Thank you so much!
我听说了你们在二层引起的骚乱 Oh, I heard about the riot you caused on level two.
影响范围扩大到了三个楼层 You know, it spread to three levels?
为了镇压我失去了一名执法人员 I lost an enforcer trying to shut it down.
这个小动作让许多人失去了生命 A lot of lives lost for that stunt.
在这样的地方维护和平可不容易 It's not easy keeping the peace in a place like this.
即使我们不是两个外星小孩的囚犯 Even if we weren't the prisoners of two alien children,
我们总是靠得这么近 生活也会很艰难 it would be hard being this close to each other all the time.
每天都在挣扎 It's a daily struggle.
拜托 先生 求你大发慈悲 我爸爸要死了 Please. Sir. I beg you to be generous. My dad is dying.
孩子 我不是怪物 Oh kid, I'm not a monster.
你爸爸当然能有胰岛素了 Of course your dad can have his insulin.
我们的工作就是生存 Our job is to survive.
你不用那么做的 You didn't have to do that!
带他们出去 Get them out of here.
这里开始有矮墙的味道了 It's starting to smell like low wall.
和马克·库班的采访 棒 Oh, an interview with Mark Cuban! Score!
亿万富翁
今天 我们把科尔沃交还给伟大的树 Today, we give Korvo back to the great all tree,
用他所希望的传统方式 in the traditional way as he would've wanted,
被高贵的鸟撕裂 ripped apart by noble birds.
关于科尔沃我有什么能说的 What can I say about Korvo?
科尔沃毫无疑问是家里最不受欢迎的人 Korvo was easily the least popular person in the house
他闻上去就像全脂奶 and he smelled like whole milk,
但我们还是会想念他 but we're still gonna miss him.
抱歉 我不想在这发言 I'm sorry, I-I didn't want to do it right here.
我想晚点说 在卫生间里 I wanted to do it later. In a bathroom.
科尔沃很刻薄 而刻薄很酷 Korvo was mean, and being mean is tight.
说得太好了 That was beautiful.
-你只有一只鸟 -嗯 很难抓到 老天 - You only got one bird? - Yeah, they're hard to catch. Geez.
我真希望我们能在科尔沃在世的时候 Man, I just wish we had gone to one of these stupid parties
去过那种破派对 when Korvo was alive, you know.
我们就能当着他的面告诉他那有多无聊了 We could've told him how boring this was to his face.
尽管很明显他只是想骗我们 Yeah, even though it was clear that he just wanted to trick us
听他讲无聊的修复飞船的事 into listening to boring ship repair stuff,
有他在身边的话就好了 it would have been nice to have him around.
正因此 为了纪念他 我带来了他的手册 That's why, in his honor, I have brought down his manuals,
我们要阅读他对飞船所做的工作 and we are gonna read about the work he did on the ship
然后自己开始动手 and start doing it ourselves.
为了科尔沃 For Korvo.
我想我们现在就得做了 I guess we have to do that now.
别再踢那儿了 You have to stop kicking there.
你还活着 科尔沃 你还活着 你... You're alive! Oh, Korvo, y-you're alive! You're--
栩栩如生 Alive like a fox!
你们都信了 我用《惊天魔盗团》的把戏骗了你们 And you all fell for it! I Now You See Me'd you!!
《惊天魔盗团》 杰西·艾森伯格演的那部电影 Now You See Me? The movie? With Jesse Eisenberg? Ugh.
它教会了我两件重要的事 It taught me two important things.
一 任何魔术最好的部分就在于 One, the best part of any magic trick is
花很多金钱时间 spending a ton of time and money
布置一个复杂的谎言 setting up an elaborate lie.
-另一件事就是家人 -家人 - And the other, family. - Family?
一切都源于我在维加斯抛弃了你们 It all happened when I ditched you guys for Vegas...
我们本来只是四个孤独的魔术师 Yeah, you know, we were just four lonely magicians.
然后突然间 And then presto.
我们就成了阿布拉卡家庭 Now we're abraca-family.
我意识到我玩过头了 我需要你们 I realized I'd gone too far and I needed you guys.
我们不只是一个太空团队 我们还是个家庭团队 We're not just a space team, we're also a family team.
所以我不得不雇用那些魔术师假装要杀我 Which is why I had to hire those magicians to pretend to kill me!
他们都是失业的演员 They're all out-of-work actors.
别这么说 我爱那些魔术师 Don't say that! I love those magicians!
那是因为半夜的时候 That's because in the middle of the night,
我在你们脑中植入了关于他们的错误记忆 I planted false memories of them in all of your heads!
特里 我们杀了其中两人 Terry, we killed two of those guys.
肯定是魔术的一部分 I-I'm sure that was just part of the trick.
等等 你是怎么伪造你的死亡的 But wait, how did you fake your death?
我看完了《惊天魔盗团2》后 After I was finished with Now You See Me 2,
我看了《致命魔术》改编的小说 I read the novelization of The Prestige.
你们看到死去的科尔沃是克隆人 人挺好的 The Korvo you saw die was a clone. A really good one too.
他以为他是我 He thought he was me,
我确保他能感受到疼痛之类的 and I made sure he could feel pain and-and all that stuff.
结果奏效了 And it worked!
你们都以为我死了 来参加了我的派对 You all totally thought I was dead and came to my party!
魔术不错吧 Good trick, right?
-是的 -太精彩了 - Oh yeah. - Amazing.
科尔沃 那是史上最棒的魔术 Korvo, that was the best trick ever!
还有人在玩魔术吗 Was anyone else doing a trick?
噗噗是从硬纸板上剪下来的 The Pupa was a cardboard cutout all day?
你到底是谁 Who even are you?
真棒 噗噗 太赞了 Bravo, Pupa! Amazing!
史上最棒的魔术日 Best day of tricks ever!
魔术 魔术 魔术 魔术 Tricks! Tricks! Tricks! Tricks!
魔术 魔术 魔术 魔术 魔术 Tricks! Tricks! Tricks! Tricks! Tricks!
够了 All right, enough!
岩浆反应堆有78部分 Now, there are 78 parts of the lavatic reactor.
第一个是结壳熔岩漏斗 The first is the Pahoehoe funnel.
有72个分流器 It has 72 shunts.
必须先轻轻推挤每个分流器然后才能... Each shunt must be gently jostled before you can proceed--
真糟 Well, this sucks.
恩里克 我很抱歉 我不知道怎么会这样 Enrique, I'm so sorry, I don't know how this happened.
你救了我 蒂姆 You saved me, Tim.
但我不知道没了我儿子我要怎么活下去 But I don't know how I'll go on without my boy.
我不知道 I-I-I just don't know.
如果你是在缩小期间死去的话会去天堂吗 Do you go to heaven if you die small?
他是在缩小期间死的 He died small!
不必非得这样的 It doesn't have to be this way.
佩德罗不必死的 Pedro didn't have to die.
我要修好这地方 I have to fix this place.
一个人要怎么改变世界 How can one person change the world?
把它拆毁 By tearing it down.
加油 河马 吃啊 Come on! Come on, hippo. Eat, eat!
去你的 杰茜 Fuck you, Jesse.
-我爱这游戏 -河马 - I love this game. - Hippos!